Crossing Boundaries
by annaisadinosaur
Summary: Back then it used to be exam grades and the "I love you"s that they worried about. Back then just the idea of Lily and James was something equivalent to fantasy, and the scariest thing to ever exist was a full moon. But now it's life and now it's death, and Gracie and Sirius are living in a war where people aren't the only things that go missing. When did the lies become truth?
1. Part One: Prologue

**PART ONE**

* * *

**- Prologue -**

You would have thought it was the apocalypse and that the world as we knew it was coming to an astonishing and melodramatic end. _Honestly_.

"Mum," I sighed, exasperated at the extent of her intolerableness. "Really, the living room is fine. Aside from the vase, but that was a complete accident, and Sirius already apologized for that. And if you'd have let Lily fix it, it would have looked just as it did before, absolutely no harm done—"

"Grace. You already know how I feel about magic in my household," she replied impatiently. She turned from me and switched the faucet on, acting as if the dishes were more important than my feeble attempts to console. "Just pick up what's left of the vase and make sure there isn't any glass left on the floor."

"It was an ugly vase anyways. You hated it."

She shut the faucet off and gave me a sharp look. "Grace, just do what I tell you and then you can leave."

"All right, okay." It was pointless. I would leave for the school year, leaving my mother annoyed and fed up with me just as she always was. I should have very well expected it, but I wasn't happy with the idea regardless.

I walked into the living room with the trash can in my hand and found Sirius, James, and Lily all crowded around the television set. They'd apparated here to take me to the train station with them, and in the process Sirius had arrived standing on the table, shattering my mother's vase. The combination of this and the fact that they had "used magic in the household" didn't settle well with my mother, but their apparition here meant she wouldn't have to take me to the train station, and due to this she would just have to tolerate a little bit of magic. When I'd returned to the trio, James was sitting wide-eyed in front of the television screen, and Sirius was twisting the knobs and hitting all the buttons.

Lily was laughing at their amusement, apparently after a defeated attempt to explain the workings of the thing. "No, Sirius, you have to stop pushing everything..." She stopped when she saw me come in, and smiled at me. I returned the gesture half-heartedly. Normally, I would have joked with her about James and Sirius's bewilderment, but I was too worn out from my mother's sore temper.

I took my wand from my sweater pocket and levitated the broken glass into the air and into the rubbish bin. My mother would have a fit if she'd seen me, but she hadn't, and I was in no mood to get on my hands and knees and locate every single shard of glass. Besides, I was of age, so it only made sense, didn't it? I brought the bin back into the kitchen, where my mother had resumed her dish washing.

"Okay, I'm done. I'll get going now," I said to my her, who turned briefly to look at me before I left. "Um, tell Dad I said good-bye when he gets home tonight."

She nodded stiffly, muttered a bye, and turned back around.

I stood there for a moment, and then glanced into the living room, where Sirius, James, and Lily were still laughing. I took a moment to collect my trunk, which sat beside the refrigerator, and left the kitchen without another word.

Sirius caught my eye when I walked back into the living room. "Gracie, have you ever _tried_ this telly thing? It's amazing!"

"Once or twice," I said. I shared a look with Lily, who smiled again. "Should we leave before they break the TV?"

"Probably a good idea," Lily said.

"Come on, children, time to go," I teased, considerably lackluster, and reached over to shut the television off.

"Lily should probably do the disapparating," James commented, "seeing as Sirius tends to apparate onto tables."

"Hey! I already said sorry for that!"

"It's fine, it's fine," I reassured, taking my trunk with one hand and grabbing Sirius's nearby hand with the other. "Let's just go."

The other three joined hands and in a moment the world was nothing but a dizzying blur.

* * *

_A/N: Thanks for reading the first installment! Chapters get longer from here, promise. :) x _


	2. A Pretty Sort of Chaos

_Chapter Two_

**A Pretty Sort of Chaos **

My parents were magical.

Not in the sense that they were so amazing they left me in absolute awe. Nothing of that sort, in fact, quite the opposite. No, they both were born from pureblooded magical families and were raised with magical parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, everything of that sort.

However, despite their untainted magical bloodline, my parents decided when they got married that _magic_ and everything associated with it was _dirty. _Evil, filthy, disgusting—all words my mother used constantly to describe my developing magical abilities. Because of this shared belief, my parents withdrew from the wizarding community and took residence with muggles, where there were no witches or wizards to be heard of.

My parents' shame in their magical background also gave way for my ignorance of my own magical lineage as a child. They refused to speak of it as I grew up, and in terms of normal, our muggle life was as normal as any. Unlike most young witches and wizards, I exhibited no early signs of magic. I fit in fine with my muggle peers. My actions were not alarming to my parents in any way. I didn't blow things up or make things disappear. I was, as my parents thought, "normal." In fact, they believed me to be a Squib, which in their eyes was an incredible blessing. So, the three of us lived a perfectly fine life, where nothing went wrong or out of the ordinary.

Until, of course, the day it did.

The day I turned eleven is a day I will never be able to forget. Not only was it my birthday, but it was also the day I burned the house down.

Complete accident, of course. Later it was explained to me that my magical abilities had been so constrained that when they began to develop, I had contained the abilities so tightly that when I turned eleven, the magic inside of me practically exploded. The day had not been overly significant otherwise.

I was no longer normal, and things were no longer perfectly fine. In fact, my parents saw me as a danger. Not only to their lives, but to their perfect reputations in our community as well. And harming their reputations... well, to my parents, that might have been even worse than death.

My parents soon realized that I could not continue to attend muggle school and pretend as if magic did not exist. No, I had to be sent away where I could be properly trained in controlling my magical abilities, and then afterwards, if I so chose, I could return to a perfectly fine life as a muggle.

My parents had both attended Hogwarts, and though it was far away, it was the best choice my parents had in keeping me safe in the "incredibly dangerous" world of magic.

So that was where I was sent, and that was where I was going now.

First, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and now—_finally_—my seventh year.

"So, Sirius! How's the new flat?"

I was distracted from the conversation, and heard only half of what was going on. Lily was sitting by the window, making idle conversation with Sirius. I'd recalled briefly Sirius telling us about his new place, but my mind was drifting someplace else currently. In fact, if I'd been in my right mind, I would have likely been bewildered at the ease in which Lily spoke to the group of boys at all. She'd taken to the lot at the end of sixth year, and she'd written to me over the summer that she'd owled James and Sirius occasionally. It should have been_ very_ surprising, because Lily had always been my friend and Sirius, James, Peter and Remus had always been my friends _separately_. Never together.

In no time at all, routine seemed to kick in once more. James was tossing Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans in the air to Remus, who was catching them with his mouth, and Peter was ogling over a wizard card without noticing his chocolate frog as it hopped into Sirius's lap. Sirius grabbed it and Peter attempted to take it back from him, but this resulted in Peter jumping up and down while Sirius held it in the air above his head, laughing and teasing.

Lily looked at me after her conversation with Sirius had ended, and seemed to notice my withdrawl from the group. She frowned. "You feeling okay, Gracie?"

I gave her a nod and exhaled. "Aren't I always like this on the train?" I asked, allowing myself to smile slightly in spite of the swooping gloom. "I'm fine."

Sirius grew bored and gave the frog back to Peter, who appeared to be quite relieved and ate the frog contently. Sirius turned to Lily and me and poked me in the ribs. "Yes, you're _always_ so depressed on the train ride," he said. "Cheer up! We're going to be back at Hogwarts soon and we can eat all the food we want!"

I looked at him and laughed, then fell back in my seat.

"Personally, I think that's reason enough to be happy," Sirius said. "So be happy! And normal."

I nodded. "I will."

It happened every year after I left my parents. I always left feeling like I should have said something more, should have made the good-bye more proper and loving like a child should be to their parents. It was just, difficult. I couldn't explain the feeling to anyone, and I didn't want to make them understand. I wanted to reach out to my parents, but I was too afraid to. They just barely tolerated me as it was; I don't think I could have handled being rejected if I did reach out to them.

"Oh, we better get going," Lily said abruptly, standing up. She pinned her Head Girl badge onto her robes, and nudged James and Remus. "We're going to get in trouble and school hasn't even started!"

James smirked, muttering something about Lily's responsibility, and followed her out of the compartment with Remus.

"I can't believe James is Head Boy," Sirius said, slouching back in his chair and propping his feet up on the seats across from us. "And look at us three! Not even prefects."

"That's because we're too much trouble," I laughed, feeling a familiar warmth slowly spread back into my veins. "Well, except for you, Peter. You're the angel. We're just constantly dragging you into things."

Peter nodded as his hands searched through James's candy, mouth too full to give a reply.

"Think James's given up on his Lily chase yet?" I asked, cocking my head towards Sirius.

"Nah, you should have seen him this morning before we got to your house. _This is the year! I know it! _I'm surprised he didn't have his head in her lap the way here, the way he was fawning all over her before. He's more convinced than ever, I'll tell you that."

I smiled happily, hoping that James was right for once. Granted, James said the same thing every year, but a girl could hope. And Lily _had_ sat in the compartment with us, after all. That could not be forgotten. "They'll probably end up married or something completely unexpected."

Sirius raised a brow, then pondered on the thought and laughed at the ridiculous possibility. "I'm afraid you've just unleashed a prophecy on us."

"They will. Don't doubt me, Sirius. I don't know about being a _Seer_, but I certainly do have a good amount of womanly intuition."

"Oh, definitely!" Sirius barked with laughter. "Who would ever doubt the great Gracie Hachette?"

I shoved his shoulder and batted my eyelashes overdramatically. "Oh, you know how to flatter a girl."

He blew me a kiss and winked, an effective end to our mocking charade.

Peter sat back with his hands on his stomach, completely oblivious. "No more candy for me."

Things soon got boring in the absence of Remus, James, and Lily, and the three of us left merely slouched in our seats.

"This year feels the same as every other year," I said, blandly, crossing my arms loosely across my chest.

"It does," Sirius agreed.

Peter nodded.

Sirius sat up straight. "We can't have that. This is our last year at Hogwarts! We should... I don't know... start it with a bang. This is the last time we'll ever ride the train to Hogwarts again!"

"Well, we still have the train ride back," I pointed out.

"But that's not the point. This is our last beginning for Hogwarts. You know?"

Peter and I shared a look, as we both seemed to be on different wavelengths than Sirius. I'm sure he had a point, though, however thick it might have been. Peter sat up in his seat, and said, "What kind of bang?"

I wiggled my way back into a sitting position. "A literal bang?"

"Well... I'd been going for a metaphorical bang originally, but a literal one might work too. Create some kind of chaos? Set off fireworks and run around in our underpants?"

I squinted my eyes at him. "I think you can do that last part alone. Unless, of course, if Peter is willing..." I glanced at Peter.

He shook his head furiously, his face flushing a light pink.

"Looks like you're alone on that one then, Sirius."

Sirius frowned. "Fine, that idea's no good. James woulda done it with me..."

"Probably not. He is Head Boy now, after all."

He exhaled. "Yeah. I guess he wouldn't have... explains why he's Head Boy and I'm not."

"Well, no point in dwelling in the negative," I said, standing up on my feet suddenly and reaching up for my trunk. "I have just what we need..." I ran my hands blindly through various pockets, before coming across a familiar shape. "Ah-ha!"

I pulled out a pile of fireworks, neatly bound together in a plastic packaging, and held it up to the two. "You think this will do?" I honestly should not have had such dangerous weaponry in my luggage, but I'd saved it after a trip to Zonko's last year and had been saving it ever since for the _precisely_ _right_ moment. Everything was always about the _right_ moment, after all.

"Oh, yes yes yes," Sirius said, hopping in his seat and rubbing his palms together. "I haven't been allowed to even touch fireworks since that incident in fourth year..."

I paused, retracting the fireworks from his reach. "What incident?" I couldn't remember Sirius doing anything incredibly insane or ridiculous from fourth year.

He pressed his lips together firmly. "Me and James... set off those fireworks in the girls' dormitory. Remember?"

"Ohhh yeah!" I gasped, remembering the panic the fireworks had created in our dorm. We'd been sleeping soundlessly, and in the middle of the night, random cracking and explosions began going off in our room. All the girls in our dorm panicked—including Lily and myself—and the seven of us ran down the stairs in a mad rush. A couple of the girls were so scared they'd resorted to tears; the rest were either hyperventilating or storming to the boy's dormitory angrily—myself, in particular, as I knew just who was responsible.

I'd yelled at Sirius and James for about a week after that. It was probably the first time he'd mentioned the incident at all, actually, since fourth year.

"Maybe I shouldn't let you touch these, then," I said, narrowing my eyes.

"No, no, pleeeasee Gracie! I'll give you my chocolate frog!" He grabbed a frog from Peter's lap and held it in front of me, getting down on one knee like he was proposing.

"_Well_... it is our last year." I swatted at his head, and his hand went up defensively to smooth down his hair. I rolled my eyes.

"Pleaseee?"

"And I guess we have no other real options. Peter? What do you say?"

He shrugged. "I guess."

"Come on, Peter," I said. "A little excitement!"

Sirius swatted at my knee. "Are you going to accept my proposal or am I just going to sit here all day like a twat?"

I patted his head again. "Sirius, you're _already_ a twat, so no need to worry about that." I winked at him, tossed the frog from his hands to Peter, and pulled Sirius to his feet.

Sirius made a "hmph" noise and made a grab for the fireworks.

"Hey, so touchy! Chill out." I wiggled a firework free of the pack and handed it to him. "Only because I love you so much."

"Don't lie. You hate me."

I smiled slightly. "Well, maybe a little."

"That's okay. I love you too." He glanced at Peter, crashed down onto the seat next to him, and wrapped his arms around his neck. "And I love you too, Peter! Don't worry, I would never forget you!"

Peter squirmed and I kicked Sirius's foot. "Sirius, you're going to strangle the poor guy," I said, sighing.

Sirius laughed and released Peter, who gasped for air gratefully.

I handed Peter a firework. "This will make you feel better!"

"Sorry, Wormtail. Love hurts."

"Remember that when I shoot a firework up your butt," I told him, swinging the compartment door open.

He growled at me, and I let out a small laugh and peeked my head out the door.

"Should we let them all off?"

"Of course," Sirius said, clearly not understanding why it was even a question. "Are these the sparkly kind?"

"Um, think so. Try it out?"

Sirius took a double-take of the aisle to ensure it was empty; then, he held out the firework far from himself, and tapped the end of it with his wand, saying softly, "_Incendio!_"

The firework shot off in the opposite direction, exploding in a burst of blue light. It cracked throughout the air, separating as it transcended down the aisle, dividing into bursts of green, red, and white.

The reaction the firework produced was instantaneous; people yelled at the noise, and pressed their faces against the glass to see what was going on in the aisle.

"Bloody brilliant," Sirius said, breathless, as the firework shattered in a burst of sparkly light, and finally died out. The noise died down, and people began rushing out of their compartments, some furious and some in awe. "How many of those have you got?"

"About twenty," I said, holding the package out to him. "They're harmless, too. Except for the noise, of course, but they won't burn you." Which was a relief, considering the number of students who were no longer seated.

Sirius nodded. "Well, we better finish that pack quickly before the prefects get here."

I set off another, and it bounced up and down the hall in a splash of light. The students in the aisle panicked and rushed back into adjacent compartments, creating a loud stampede accompanied by shouts of surprise.

Peter set the next off, and a few students realized that the fireworks weren't going to burn them. A fifth year Ravenclaw, whose name I couldn't quite place, stared up at the fireworks as they passed over her head, and ushered her friends out, assuring them they wouldn't be burned.

The three of us took turns setting off the rest; the train was a mixture of elation and resentment, and the majority of the train was spinning and laughing in the sparks.

I set off the last firework, a burst of red and orange and white, and Sirius grabbed my hand. The last of our fireworks were still in the air, rebounding off windows and walls, dividing into further bursts of light, refusing to die out.

Sirius twirled me in the midst of the light, and I laughed as we danced and spun like idiots. He swung me down in a graceful dip, and then twirled me back to my feet. I gripped his hands tightly and then imitated his gesture, dipping him about half-way, and we continued to laugh until the air was practically stolen from our lungs. I stood him upright and we spun a few times more, until finally the lights faded out, and he released me from his grasp.

"Better than running around in your underpants?" I asked.

"Maybe," Sirius answered, lips forming a small smile. "But you've never experienced that, so you wouldn't know."

"Hm. I think I'll pass, if that was an offer."

The chaos in the aisle was dying down now, and it wasn't long till the prefects would be pushing their way through the crowd to us.

"Hey, you never know," Sirius said, shrugging. "You feeling better now, ol' Gracie?"

"Loads," I said, laughing. "Mission chaos... success!"

We high-fived and retreated into our compartment with Peter, who graciously passed around his box of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans in honor of our victory.

* * *

_A/N: Thanks for reading, lovelies! Cookies for reviewing! :D_


	3. Wooing the Fire

_Chapter Three_

**Wooing the Fire **

"So irresponsible!" Lily yelled, as loudly as she could. Which, knowing Lily, wasn't very loud. She was such a sweetheart, and seeing her in such a furious state was a little alarming. "All three of you! We're _seventh_ years now, you'd think you'd have learned a little bit of responsibility by now!"

"Aw, come on, Lily," Sirius said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "It was only a joke! Besides, all the first years loved it. We did a good thing, you know! We helped calm their nerves!"

"You've all been _horrible _examples!" she shouted and stormed away, falling into a crowd headed for the common rooms.

I frowned at Sirius, who shrugged. "She's your best friend," he said. "You fix this."

"You'd think she'd calm down a little bit. We've been perfectly punished as is," I sighed, thinking of how the three of us would be spending our evenings with Filch for the next two weeks.

"Not that that'll teach us anything, either."

"She's just conflicted," I said. "She's supposed to be the _most_ responsible of our House, and she's best friends with the _least_ responsible."

"True," Sirius said, and then nudged my shoulder. "But, hey, lucky her! I'd love to be friends with me."

"Mmh."

"Oh right. And you too, of course, Gracie!"

I rolled my eyes, grinning only slightly, and pushed him forward. "Come on, we'll go find James and make him woo her out of her anger."

We found James as he got to the Gryffindor common room, along with Lily, and a mob of excited looking first years.

"This is the common room," he was saying, "right behind the portrait here. And all you have to do to enter is say the magic words!"

Lily let out a small breath. "The password is 'Peruvian Vipertooth.'"

"Oh, really now," Sirius muttered, looking perplexed. "Who comes up with these passwords?"

"I know what that is!" one of the first years called out.

"Yeah, I read about that in Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them—"

"It's a dragon!"

"All right, yes, it's a dragon. But that's not the point," Lily said. "Just say 'Peruvian Vipertooth' and the portrait will swing open. Like this," she said, demonstrating. She repeated the password to the Fat Lady, and the portrait promptly slid open, revealing the Gryffindor common room.

"And don't forget the password! It changes twice a week, so make sure you keep up with it," James said.

"We'll go in now, and I'll show you your dormitories," Lily said, climbing in, the hyperactive group of first years following after closely.

"'Ey, Prongs! Wait up!" Sirius called, running after James before he could follow after the first years.

I walked up behind them, and James looked at both of us, smirking slightly.

"Nice job with the fireworks earlier," he said. "The detention's a little bit of a downer though."

Sirius shrugged. "Eh, it was worth it."

"Anyways! We needed to ask you a favor," I said in a rush. "Lily's furious with us..."

"Oh, I know," James said, "she was ranting and raving just a minute ago. She was like a steam engine, red faced and steam blowing out her ears and everything—"

"We know, we know," I said, "and we were thinking that you probably know _just_ the right things to say to cheer her up for us..."

"And, prevent her from murdering us before the week's over," Sirius said.

James looked from me to Sirius, face losing expression. "Ohhh no," he said, shaking his head. "Last time you tried to make me intervene in your Lily problems, she nearly hexed my eyes out!"

I sighed. "There will be no explosive flower offerings. But in our own defense, I really thought she would think it was funny!"

"The past is the past, and we have learned from our mistakes," Sirius said, but stopped, and looked at me, suppressing a grin. "Well, mostly. All you have to do this time, is...well..."

"Woo her!"

James stared at us blankly. "_Woo_ her? That sounds inappropriate."

I slapped my hand to my forehead. "No, just be sweet and charming like you always are, James. Flirt a little! It shouldn't be difficult."

"How is flirting going to make her forgive you?"

"It'll put her in a better mood, and she will see the error of her ways," I said.

"The error of her ways? You're the ones that set off the fireworks—"

"Not the point!"

"Prongs, don't be a coward!" Sirius said. "Just do it. Maybe you'll benefit from it too."

James scratched his head idly, and let out a breath. "All right. But just because I feel bad for you two... I'm glad it's not me for once, though."

"Thank you James! You're the best!" I said, making sure to hug him as tightly as I could manage.

"Ow, ow, you're crushing my ribs! Gracie, you can't send me to the hospital wing right now, I need my ribs in tip-top condition so I can go woo Lily!"

I let go of him, and instead pat him on the head like a puppy. "Just don't do anything that'll make you get slapped."

"I'll keep it in mind," he said, reaching up to fix his hair.

"You look fantastic. Now get that woo-ing face on," I said, nudging him forward into the common room.

He shot me a look. "Gracie. Don't make me change my mind."

"Okay, okay! Sorry! Talk to you later!"

He climbed into the common room, and Sirius shouted after him, "Good luck!"

* * *

I was lying down in my bed, hidden beneath my bulky pile of blankets, snuggled in tightly. I peeked my eyes out from beneath the covers, watching the door for the entrance of the lovely Head Girl herself.

I re-adjusted my head on my pillows—well, kind of my pillows. Technically only half of them were really mine. I had _borrowed _my absent friend's bedding, and was now cradled in a pile of heaven.

I was nearly asleep when the door creaked open and Lily tip-toed inside, making way to her bed, where it was every school year, in the same spot next to mine. She reached it and stopped, and I saw her eye her bare bed suspiciously. She swiveled slowly in her spot, facing me.

"Gracie." She sighed. "Thank you for stealing my blankets, and my pillow too!" She sighed again. "If you don't give it back, I'll have no choice but to crawl in there next to you."

I laughed, propping my head up. "I was keeping it all warm for you!"

"How thoughtful. Now, unless you would like some personal space..."

I sat up in my bed and tossed her pillow at her. She caught it, and I threw the blanket, which landed on her head.

"Ahh, there's a ghost in the dorm!" I cried, giggling like a child.

Lily laughed and pulled the blanket off her face. "Shh, Gracie!" she whispered. "You're going to wake everyone up."

"Oh, hee," I said, shrinking back under my covers. "Woops."

She pulled the blankets back over her bed and then turned to her nightstand, murmured some spell I was not acquainted with, and conjured a glass vase.

I stared curiously as she dropped a bouquet of flowers I hadn't realized she'd been carrying in the vase. "Aguamenti," she whispered, and glanced at me. "What?"

"Where'd you get those?" I asked, rolling over onto my stomach and propping my chin up on my palms.

In the candlelight, I could detect the faintest blush rise to her cheeks. She turned away from me and sat down in her bed. "James. He spent the whole night, while we were supposed to be patrolling the halls..." She stopped and I saw her smile, and glance up at the ceiling. "_Wooing_ me." She turned her face back down and smiled at me.

"Wooing you? That sounds inappropriate."

"Oh, shush Gracie," she giggled, burying herself under her covers. "I know that you and Sirius put him up to it."

I gasped. "We did not."

She raised her eyebrows.

"All right, maybe we did, but he really didn't need any convincing, if you must know," I said.

"He told me you two were desperate for my forgiveness," Lily said. "How you were trying to get him to flirt with me just so I wouldn't be mad at you two anymore."

"Pshh... why would we do that?"

"It's all right, I'm not mad," Lily said. "I guess I shouldn't have gotten _that_ mad at you two... You know I can't stay mad long anyways."

"Yay!" I squeaked, and Lily shushed me. "Well, did James ask you on a date?"

I could just barely see her nod her head shyly.

"What'd you say? Did you reject him for the fifty millionth time?"

"Actually," she said, softly, "I told him I would go."

I squeaked again, excitedly, sitting up in my bed. "That's so cute! Oh my goodness. Where are you going? Well, I guess the only feasible thing would be Hogsmeade, as that's the only place we can actually go... Oh my goodness! It's only the first day and you already have a date, oh Merlin's great fluffy beard..."

"Gracie!" Lily laughed. "Calm down!"

I laughed too. "Oh, you know, I find this so adorable. I would totally wink at you right now, but I don't think you can see me, because it's too dark. So take my word for it. Wink, wink."

Lily giggled again, and pulled her blankets up tighter to her. "All right, I think it's time we get to sleep now."

"Good idea. Okay, good night Mrs. James Potter!"

She rolled over away from me, let out a little breath, and said, "Goodnight, Gracie." It was funny how I could hear the smile in her voice.

* * *

_A/N: Not too sure I like this one, but thanks for reading anyways. :) I promise I'll get a move on with the plot in the next one! Or the one after that. Sometime soon ;) Noww reviewwww and you will be granted MILK AND COOKIES! :D_  
_OH! AND HAPPY NEW YEARS! _


	4. That Tall Ravenclaw Seeker

_Chapter Four_

**That Tall Ravenclaw Seeker**

"Miss _Hachette_! Now, will you _please_ explain what in the world you have been doing back there with your cauldron?" Professor Slughorn called out to me, having finally noticed the great big cloud of green smoke that was emitting from my cauldron.

"Um, I'm experimenting!" I said loudly, frantically checking over the instructions and trying to figure out what I could have possibly done wrong before something worse happened.

"Miss Hachette... you are truly a hazard to this classroom... in all of my years of teaching, I have never met anyone quite like you..." Professor Slughorn walked up to my seat, shaking his head. "You seem to have added the porcupine quills too early, Hachette. If we let this simmer for just a couple more seconds, this mixture will melt your cauldron, then proceed to burn through your shoes, and will then produce large, unfriendly, and, I daresay, rather uncomfortable red boils all over your body."

I stared at him, wide-eyed.

"We don't want that, do we?"

"No, sir. Not at all."

"We'll just need to get rid of this then... _Evanesco_," he said, waving his wand at the mixture, and in a moment the cauldron was empty. "Hachette, I'll have you do this over again. Remember, add the porcupine quills _after_ you take the cauldron off the fire. Mister Lupin, fantastic job on your boil cure."

"Thank you, sir."

"I'll let you help Miss Hachette, in that case that she needs it. We don't want anyone sent to the Hospital Wing on the first class, do we now?"

"No, sir," Remus answered, shooting me an amused glance.

Slughorn walked away and I slumped over my cauldron, worn out.

"Gracie, I don't think that's the most sanitary thing, just telling you," Remus said politely, dragging his chair over to mine. "I'll help you, don't worry."

"Thanks Remus. What are we supposed to add first? I didn't quite get—"

"Oi! Remus!" Sirius shouted out, waving him over.

"Sirius!" I hissed at him. "You dumb git, he's in the middle of helping me!"

Remus looked over at Sirius wearily. "I'll be over in a second, let me just help Gracie finish this—"

"I'd be happy to help the lady, if she wouldn't mind."

Remus and I both looked up quickly, and met eyes with the tall Ravenclaw seeker, Kenneth Howell.

I stared blankly for a second, and then realized what was going on. I felt heat rising to my cheeks. "Oh, me? I wouldn't mind! Go on ahead, Remus. Sirius probably needs more help than I do, anyway."

"But you nearly melted your cauldron—"

"It's all right! I'll be okay. Go, go, go." I ushered him away with my hands.

He looked at me uncertainly, then shook his head and walked over to Sirius.

Kenneth sat down and smiled at me sweetly. "So your boil cure didn't exactly turn out right?"

"Ah, no," I said, biting my lip. Not only was he the tall Ravenclaw seeker, he was also the _handsome_, tall, Ravenclaw seeker, and on top of all of that, he was smart. Obviously. He was in Ravenclaw, after all. "No, Professor Slughorn said I was a hazard to the class, actually..."

"No, this is just a trickier potion, don't worry about it." He winked at me, and then went on to explain the instructions and the order of the materials, going into full detail of the importance of each part and explaining how to effectively accomplish each part. "...And then you add the dried nettles," he said, demonstrating, "and you let it simmer over the fire for five minutes."

"And then what do you do for five minutes?"

"Wait patiently," Kenneth said, giving me a small smile.

The butterflies in my stomach were practically having a rodeo in there. I didn't know why I'd suddenly gotten so nervous; it might have been due to the fact that Kenneth Howell was known as one of the most attractive boys in our year, if not the most attractive. _And _I had never spoken to him before. I wasn't normally a nervous person, but... well... I had to admit, I'd always had a little crush on him.

"So," Kenneth said, and I quickly brought him back to my attention. "I heard you call that Sirius guy a git earlier. Does he bother you?"

"Oh," I said, laughing. "No. Well, yes actually, extremely. But it's not a bad kind of bothering. For the most part." I shrugged.

He nodded, and then asked, "Is he your boyfriend?"

I nearly choked. Sirius? My boyfriend? No one had ever asked me _that_. "What? No, of course not," I said, laughing again. "He's my best friend. He's practically a girl to me."

"Oh. Okay. So he wouldn't beat me up if I asked you on a date this weekend?" He leaned forward, eyes sparkling in a kind of teasing way.

I collected myself as quickly as I could so I didn't start squealing like a little girl. "Even if he did try to beat you up, I'm sure you could take him," I said, picking up the teasing manner.

"Hmm," Kenneth said. "I don't know about _that_. I guess I'll just make sure I don't find out then."

I tapped my fingers against my chin, smiling. "So does that mean you'll be asking me out on a date, or was it a hypothetical question?"

"I guess it doesn't _have_ to be hypothetical," he replied, leaning back in his chair. He seemed to have a smile that was just another feature on his face, like his dark eyes or his sandy blonde hair. "Hypothetically speaking, if it wasn't a hypothetical question, what would you say?"

"Well, hypothetically speaking... I would say, you know, hypothetically, that I'd love to."

"All right then," Kenneth said. "Sounds good. So, Grace?"

Everyone called me Gracie, and I had half a mind to correct him, but the impulse died away. It was nice hearing my name, the way he said it, like he'd given my name a whole new meaning, just by saying my name the way it was supposed to be said.

"Yes, Kenneth?" I decided then that I liked saying his name. I wanted to keep saying it, but that would have come off as creepy, and scaring him off at this point would just be devastating.

"Will you go with me to Hogsmeade this weekend?"

"Sure," I said, and I giggled only slightly. "Do you think it's been five minutes now?"

"Five minutes?"

"The boil cure."

"The... oh! Right! Oh, yeah. Can't forget that now, can we?" He winked at me again. "Let's finish this up now. So, now that we've let it simmer, we'll take it off the fire..."

* * *

"Good job not blowing up the Potions classroom," Sirius snorted, bumping into me teasingly as we walked to Transfiguration.

I rolled my eyes, shoving him back. "Thanks, _Sirius._ Lucky you had Remus to help you, or else you might have thought the boil cure potion was pea soup."

Remus cringed at the thought.

"At least I'm not a hazard to the class!" Sirius retorted.

"Okay, I'll give you that. But you are the _worst_ hazard to yourself."

"I didn't drink the boil cure," Sirius said. "You _git_. Yeah, I didn't forget that."

"I was joking," I said. "I love you, remember?"

"Love and hate are not synonyms, you silly air-headed dudder brain."

"You're a big, fat, giant dudder butt!"

"Um, not to ruin the moment," Remus said, "but what is a dudder?"

"It's Sirius," I said, nudging him. "His butt to be exact."

"Remus, that was not an invitation for you to be looking at my behind!" Sirius said, turning around and walking backwards, with his hands over his butt.

"Oh, I'm sorry if I've made you insecure about your big, fat, giant dudder butt, Sirius," I said.

"I wasn't looking..." Remus said, clearly confused. "Oh, never mind. I'll just... hello, Lily!"

There was a momentary squeak as Sirius collided backwards into Lily. "Sirius," she sighed, smoothing down the front of her robes and re-collecting herself.

"Oh, I'm sorry, dear Lily," Sirius apologized. "Remus and Gracie were odling my _buttocks_!"

"Pfft. He wishes. His big, fat, giant dudder butt is nothing to look at," I said.

"So you were odling it! You've odled my butt. Violated! I have been violated!"

Lily and Remus were standing, observing us, looking uncertain as to whether or not they should laugh or make us stop. Lily apparently decided on the latter, as she took me by the arm and dragged me away from Sirius. "Not to break up your little argument, but I wanted to ask you about something before class started."

I glanced over my shoulder, at Sirius and Remus who trotted up beside us. I turned back to Lily. "Yes, I'm listening."

"Since _when_ do you talk to Kenneth Howell?"

My face flushed instantly. "Oh..."

Remus made a noise like he was suppressing a laugh. "Oh yes, I remember him. Gracie made me go away so Howell could help her instead of me."

"No, Sirius is hopeless and he needed you—!"

"Gracie!" Lily said. "On topic!"

I sighed. "All right. I talk to Kenneth Howell since today. Does that answer your question?"

"_Gracieeee_," Sirius sing-songed, "why is your face pink?"

"Because I am finding this walk quite exhausting. I have no stamina, you know. I might pass out any second." I fanned my face with my hand. "Wooh, this is hard work!"

Sirius gasped. "You fancy Howell?"

"He was flirting with you, wasn't he?" Remus asked.

"Did he ask you out?" Lily said, growing livid.

"Woah, woah, woah," I said, holding my hands up to them. "Everybody breathe. I'm not getting married or anything."

"So he _did_ ask you out?"

"Yes," I said, exhaling. "To Hogsmeade, that's it, no big deal, let's move on!"

Lily's shoulders relaxed and she giggled. "How is it that this happens just after what I told you yesterday?"

"'What I told you yesterday'?" Sirius questioned.

"Oh, like we all don't know about it, Lily," Remus said. "James was practically gushing about it to everyone this morning."

Lily looked at the both of them, going slightly red.

I laughed, and took her arm again. "Look, I think Lily's getting tired from this walk too! We better hurry. We'll catch up with you guys in class later." I turned around and winked at both of them, and then turned around and walked off, arm-in-arm and laughing with Lily.

I heard Sirius's distraught voice behind us as we left the two behind. "Remus, at this rate, we're going to be two old wrinkly bachelors!"

* * *

_A/N: All right, I don't know British slang, because I'm American. I admit my defeat. You've all been warned, so don't judge me for that!_  
_REVIEWS ANYONE? I'll love you forever!_  
_Oh, and okay, who noticed what potion I mentioned? The boil cure potion? Anybody remember that from, yes, Harry's first year of Potions? Oh boy, that's one "tricky" potion right there! It's okay, Gracie. You have other talents, surely._


	5. House Arrest

_Chapter Five_

**House Arrest**

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a house elf, Sirius?"

"Well," Sirius said, just as a number of house-elves scurried past us in a mad rush, "not until today, I hadn't, no."

We watched the uniformed chaos that was the Hogwarts kitchens. It was Friday night and Sirius and I were incredibly fortunate that we were not currently up to our elbows in some kind of grime or filth. Filch was in the hospital wing after an incident with Peeves, and so for our detention, Dumbledore had assigned us to the kitchens to help make biscuits for dinner. _Much _nicer than cleaning out clogged toilets, I would say.

"You know, Sirius..." I said.

"Yeah?"

"I think you've burned those biscuits."

He scoffed. "Nonsense, I'm sure they'll be delicious."

"Let's have a look, then?" I pulled open the oven, greeted by the warm embrace of heat and ghastly smoke. I coughed, waving it from my face. "Oh, they smell—" I coughed again, "delicious!"

"_How_ did this happen?" Sirius looked frantic, fanning the smoke that emitted profusely from the oven.

I reached over and turned the oven off while Sirius reached in with heat-resistant gloves to remove the charred remains of his biscuits. "What did you do to my beauties, Gracie?"

"Well, if you must know," I said, looking rather apologetic, "I released a small baby dragon into your oven while you were looking the other way, and trapped it inside with no way of escaping."

He huffed, discontentedly, and scraped the black heaps from the pan.

"Meanwhile," I continued, "the dragon only began to grow angry. And hungry, too, might I add. Very hungry. It knew your biscuits would be delicious—"

Sirius grunted a sarcastic agreement.

"And because of his rabid hunger, he decided he could not wait for your biscuits to finish cooking any longer. It was an earnest attempt to assist you, surely. Well... He did what he does best. Breathe fire." I gave Sirius a very friendly, sympathetic pat on the shoulder. "I'm very sorry for your loss, my dear friend, so sorry."

"All right, then," Sirius said, setting down his bare pan and throwing off his gloves. "Let's see your biscuits, then?"

"Ah, just on cue, too!" I slipped on the gloves Sirius had been using, reached inside the oven and pulled out the pan. The biscuits were arranged very precisely, and each was approximately the same as the next, browned and circular. I held the pan up to Sirius. "Beauties, eh?"

Sirius pulled out his wand and pointed it at the pan. "I think it would only be proper to introduce myself, yes? Make a good first impression?"

"If you don't take that wand away from my biscuits, I will set your _hair_ on fire."

"If you can catch me, that is."

"I will catch you and you will be bald."

"I guess we'll just have to see about that," Sirius said, and I watched as his lips very slowly, like molasses dripping from a spoon, began to form words...

"Sirius, _if you even_—"

* * *

"He blinded me," I groaned to Lily, burying my face in my arms. "Almost burned my face off!"

"Where is that oaf of a Sirius, anyways?" James asked, mouth half-full.

Lily commented on James's impressive manners, and they fell off into an entirely separate conversation. I lifted my head, rubbing my eyes.

"I saw Sirius this morning," Remus told me. "He wasn't looking too..."

The doors to the Great Hall opened then.

"Too... fantastic."

"Oh, bloody hell, what _did_ you do to him, Gracie?" James asked, his voice hitting a tone of disbelief that did not completely satisfy my pride or my shame. I wasn't sure what to think of his reaction.

"Oh, he's not that bad," I said, growing annoyed. "It's just his hair. At least he still _has_ some. He practically dared me to! It's not my fault!"

Sirius arrived, sitting down with a plop in front of me, his mass of lion mane hair bouncing around him. He didn't acknowledge the others, or even me, for that matter. He fixed his eyes on a plate and piled it with food.

I watched as he reached for a biscuit, holding it in his hand. He brought it to his mouth, chewed for a moment, and then glanced at me, all very slowly.

"Did you try a biscuit?" he asked.

I stared at him, and then shook my head.

He finished chewing and pressed his lips together. "Mmmh. You really should."

I attempted to decipher his expression, but failed. "I'll pass."

"No, really. You should."

"Nah. Already full."

He looked at me, waiting for me to change my mind, and then shrugged. "All right, well, I'll just have _another _then."

"You do that, Sirius."

He took another biscuit and ripped a piece off. He plopped it in his mouth and chewed, still looking at me. "You sure you don't want one?"

"Pretty sure."

"Really, I insist."

"No thank you."

He ripped another piece off of his biscuit. "Absolutely certain?"

"Yes."

Sirius threw the piece of biscuit at my face without hesitation. "Finally, I knew you would give in!"

I flinched. "That's not what I meant by yes."

He threw another piece at me. "Did you say yes?"

"No."

"Yes, you did." He threw another piece at me, and then reached for another biscuit.

"No! Stop throwing food at me, Sirius!" I grabbed a biscuit and chucked the entire thing at his face.

"You wasted that delicious _biscuit_!" He threw another back at my face in retaliation.

"Oh, did I? _I'm sorry!_" I picked up the entire platter and flung all of its contents at him at full force.

He responded by taking his goblet of pumpkin juice and emptying it on me.

Lily gasped, standing up. "Gracie, Sirius, that's enough, cut it out!"

I wiped the juice from my eyes and grabbed a bowl of something I didn't know the name of, but it was gray and slimy looking, and I thought it would match Sirius's eyes perfectly.

* * *

"Please, Lily! Pretty, pretty please."

"I shouldn't even talk to you anymore. I should just forget you exist," she muttered irritably. "Not like _you'd_ care."

"I'm sorry, Lily," I said, "I just got carried away. Sirius was_ completely_ asking for it... but I should have just listened to you and stopped. Believe me, I wish I had! I don't want to stay up here when I have an entire Saturday waiting for me!"

Lily looked at me and sighed. "Fine. But I hope you realize how bad you've made me look. I'm supposed to be an example and I can't even get my best friend under control."

"You're not supposed to. I'm supposed to drive you crazy, aren't I?"

"No, you're not. Stop it, I'm just starting to forgive you. Don't make me change my mind."

"Right, okay, I'm sorry. Will you please talk to him for me?"

She crossed her arms over her chest and huffed. "Fine. If I see Howell, I will let him know."

"You're going to see him, Lily. He'll be right outside Hogsmeade. And, I mean, it's Kenneth Howell. A little hard to miss him."

"All right, all right. What do you even want me to say?"

"Tell him those damn professors put me on House arrest—"

"_Gracie_."

"Sorry, sorry. Tell him they're making me stay in my dormitory, and that I'll talk to him later."

"Okay, doesn't sound too hard." She breathed in heavily and looked out the window. She glanced at me. "Do _not_ try to leave, or I will take your blankets and kick you off your bed so you have to sleep on the floor."

"I won't," I promised. "I'll study Potions and do my homework."

"Good idea. I'm going to go now. I'll see you later, okay? Be a good little puppy while I'm gone."

I frowned and pulled my knees to my chest. "Now you're just being mean, you meanie Bertie Botts beanie."

"I'm doing you a favor, don't forget!" she said, pulling her bag over her shoulder. "Cheer up. I'll get some chocolate from Honeydukes and we can share when I get back. And dry your hair. You'll catch a cold or something."

I'd had to take practically ten showers to get all the food out of my hair. Let's just say, Sirius and I had wasted a lot of food on each other before the professors noticed what was going on. "Okay. Bye, and make sure to have fun with James. Don't lead him on too much."

"I won't." She smiled, and opened the door. "Bye, Gracie." She left and closed the door behind her with a soft click.

I groaned out loud. "I hate you, Sirius whatever your middle name is Black."

* * *

"Um?" Sirius stared at the parchment I was holding out to him. "What's this?"

"I wrote you a letter," I said simply. "Your hair looks better today, by the way."

He narrowed his eyes at me and took the letter. "Am I supposed to read this?"

"Obviously."

"Do I have to read it now?"

"Sure."

He unrolled it and glanced over the writing. "This is a lot of writing."

"It's not. Read it out loud or something. I'm not going to sit here watching you read."

"_Dear Sirius_." He stopped and looked up at me. "What are you, fifty?"

"Shut up and read it, git."

"_Dear Sirius._ _Right now, it is a wonderful, lovely summer Saturday afternoon, and I am spending it in my dormitory, studying Potions and actually being somewhat productive. Well, I was, until I decided to write this to you._" He stopped again. "Do I really have to read this out loud? Class is going to start soon."

"No, it's not. Nobody's even here yet. Quit stopping and just get through it."

"_Being productive on a wonderful, lovely summer Saturday afternoon is a horrible thing to do to someone. It's the upmost form of torture and I am dying in this dormitory, all alone, in solitary confinement, while the girls in my dorms are out buying chocolate and sending letters and looking at the Shrieking Shack. I'm bored, Sirius. Really, really bored. I don't like studying Potions. Potions smell bad._

"_The only reason I'm up here in the first place is because Professor McGonagall decided our little 'altercation' was incredibly immature and inappropriate and that we needed to be alone to ourselves to really think through the error of our ways._

"_Well, you see, I didn't do anything wrong, because you threw the damn biscuit at me in the first place. I'm sorry, Lily would get mad at me for the language, but it's true. I didn't do anything to you and suddenly you're all taunting me to try this stupid biscuit that probably tasted like hippogriff arse anyways._

"_I mean, maybe I did burn your biscuits the other night because I was jealous, and yeah, maybe that was wrong, but you're the crazy psycho here that decided to light a fire in my face and nearly burn my eyes out. I'm lucky I wasn't burned and you're lucky you have all your hair, let's just leave it at that._

"_I am being the valiant, bigger person here because that is who I am, Gracie Hachette the valiant, bigger person. And better, let's not leave that out. I'm sorry I was jealous of your biscuits and I'm sorry I released that dragon on them... or, well, whatever happened there, you know... and I'm sorry you're crazy and decided to kill me over a couple of burned biscuits. Clearly, we both have issues, and I think that if we agree that we're both psycho and therefore must tolerate each other, we will get along so much better. After all, it's not every day you meet someone nearly as psycho as yourself, right?_

"_And that's it. I call for a truce. I will sign this now. And by the way, I don't know what your middle name is, so, I'll just make one up sometime. But that's just irrelevant. Goodbye now."_

He looked up at me, and let out a breath.

"You forgot the last part," I said, taking the letter back from him. "You didn't read the 'Love, Gracie,' part."

"Well, I thought I'd skip over that, since it's obviously a lie and I'm not going to waste my time with lies."

"Sirius Nigel Black, you are ridiculous!"

"My middle name isn't Nigel."

"Fine. Sirius Walter Black. That's what I'm going to call you, Wally."

"Why are you so odd?" He rubbed his temples.

"I have already established that we're both fairly psycho. You're the one that's being odd now."

"Okay, okay," he waved his hand at me, "I accept your truce. Now go away."

I hugged him around the neck quickly and he swatted at my arms until I released him.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, everyone! Life has been incredibly busy and I've had a lotttt of drama lately.. You know. Typical dumb high school drama, sighhh. Anyways, hopefully the worst of that is over, and hopefully I will be back with somewhat acceptable updates for my few lovely readers. You guys are awesome, and thanks for all the reviews, favoriting and etc, I super super super appreciate it! Sorry this one was a bit odd, but you know how Gracie is. And Kenneth will be back! Yus. All right, bye for now, will be back soon. COOKIES FOR REVIEWING**


	6. The Art of Being Smooth

_Chapter Six_

**The Art of Being Smooth**

"So everything's okay between you and Sirius?"

I nodded as a swarm of students rushed past us in the hallway. "Yeah, I wrote him a letter and made him read it out loud."

Lily laughed. "Your fights are always so ridiculous."

"Yeah. One of these days, we really are going to end up mad at each other, and it will be horrible. I won't know what to do. I've never really been _mad_ at him."

"No, I'm sure we'll all be friends until we're eighty." She smiled, and then stopped at the sight of something behind me. She nudged my shoulder. "I think Howell's headed this way. Should I leave you two alone?"

My stomach did a flip and I grabbed her wrist. "Wait, wait, don't leave me here standing alone. It's all about being _smooth_, Lily."

"And how is that not smooth?"

"Well, he can't think I'm _expecting_ he'll talk to me."

"Why not?"

"Because, that is vain." I ran my fingers through my hair quickly. "Do I look okay? Is he almost here?"

"Vain..." She shook her head, and I sensed a certain kind of mocking to her tone, but I was too busy with the thought of Kenneth walking over to pay any kind of attention to it. "Almost here," she said under her breath, and looked away quickly as if she had never been watching for him in the first place.

We talked for a moment in order to distract ourselves and then there was a figure beside me. Lily looked up, and smiled politely.

"Oh, hello, Kenneth." She was really a great actor, I had to admit.

I turned and smiled too, as if I was surprised he was there. "Hey!" My smile was much less fake, because even if I'd been trying to hide it, I wouldn't have been able to.

"Hello Lily, Grace," he said, nodding subtly to both of us.

Lily gripped her books and pulled on her sleeve as if she was checking the time. There wasn't a watch there, but it was the gesture that mattered, not the details. "Well, I probably should get going... James wanted me to explain Transfiguration to him this free period, and it's a long walk back to the common room. I'll see you later, Gracie." She gave a little wave and was off, walking with a skip.

I turned to Kenneth, and watched his face turn into a sweet, small smile. My mind was all crazy with the sight of his eyes, with the deep brown irises and long eyelashes, and his lips, and his hair, and Merlin's sake, even his forehead was attractive.

"Oh, this is just unhealthy," I blurted. Out loud, in a perfectly audible, comprehensible tone. Like a complete blubbering idiot.

He raised his eyebrows, visibly caught by surprise. He must have been expecting some lovely, sweet greeting, but instead was clearly trying to decide if that comment was aimed as an insult. "What is?"

I shook my head quickly, feeling heat rise rapidly to my face. "Oh, no, no, I didn't mean that! Sorry, sometimes I just speak without thinking, and I—" I stop and took a breath. "Um, what I meant was that, my back's been killing me all day, and I've been ignoring it. And it's probably, um, really bad for my back."

"Oh," he said, tilting his head only slightly. It felt as if he was seeing right into my soul, the way he was so intently looking at me. I was almost scared that I would make myself look even more incredibly ridiculous. "_Well_, you have a free period now, yeah?"

I clasped my hands in front of me and bounced on my toes. "Mmhm."

"Let's go find somewhere to sit, then," he offered, "if you wouldn't mind me stealing you away for a little bit?" He leaned in towards me, taking the tips of my fingers and squeezing them gently.

_Oh for the love of Merlin and all that is right and magical in this universe. _

"I wouldn't mind at all," I said, trying to compose my voice. This boy had some crazy kind of magic that made me get all melty and silly and lose grip of whatever I had a grip on. Not that I was sure I really had too much of a grip on anything, but if I did, I didn't now. Definitely unhealthy.

Kenneth took my hand and pulled me down the hallway, and then let go when we were outside. I held my books at my side and took a deep breath of the fresh air, letting the wind blow freely through my hair.

He glanced at me and laughed. "Don't get outside much?"

"No, I do," I said, smiling. "I just like it."

"Well, glad this was a good choice," he said, and we walked to a spot in the grass and sat down. "What are you studying there?" he asked, pointing out my books.

I set the books down beside me. "History of Magic. I just had it right before this."

"Oh, not too tired, are you? Wouldn't want to put you to sleep." He leaned back on the palms of his hands and winked.

"I've been enduring that class for seven years now," I said, laughing, "I think I'll be all right."

"Okay then," he said, "but, you know, there's been something I was wondering. Lily told me you'd gotten in trouble the other day. What could an angel like you have done?"

"Ha..." I shook my head. "I just, got in a little fight, that involved... food." I shrugged. "The professors have a very low tolerance level for me over the years. Don't get me wrong, I _am_ an angel, of course." I smiled. "But I tend to, ah, bend the rules sometimes, maybe."

"Hmm." He traced his thumb across his lips briefly with an amused look on his face. "And a Ravenclaw isn't too tame for you, is it?"

I patted his hand in a kind of mocking comfort. "You caught me. I've only been trying to be nice and let you down easy."

"Oh, that's not good."

I nudged him in the shoulder. "Just kidding. Tame is good. I like tame."

"Well, it could always be an act," he said, stroking his chin as if we were in a muggle detective movie.

I laughed loudly. "No, you, crazy? I don't believe it."

"Ha, honestly, me either." He nudged my shoulder back. "But, hey, you never know."

I nodded. "True for most things, actually. You never know! Like, what am I going to say in a minute? You don't know. You'll never know, until it's over."

"No, actually, I'm pretty sure you'll be confessing your love for me in a minute. How right am I?"

I pressed my lips together tightly, suppressing a smile. It was a bit of an aggressive approach, I had to notice, but I knew he was joking. Still, what kind of confidence did you have to have to say something like that? Maybe I was just bad at playing hard to get. I decided a full over analysis wouldn't be worth it, and decided to let it slide. "See. _No idea_ what I'm going to say."

He shrugged. "All right, well, I'll just have to accept defeat then." His eyes were lit blazing, a combination of laughter and contentment. "But, only because it's you."

* * *

**A/N: This has been a short chapter because I'm really evil and I enjoy making all of you squirm...  
Hehe, just kidding. Actually, it's short because Kenneth is really boring, lololol  
Hopefully I'll find a way to make him more interesting. I like his character, sure, but writing scenes with Sirius and Grace is so effortless. Him, it's like, aaaghhhh y u so slow bro?  
Anyway, anyway, next chapter will be longer, promise! Thanks for all the reviews and... I really write too much on these things. OKAY BYE NOW LOVES**


	7. She's A Big Fluffy Hippogriff

_Chapter Seven_

**She's A Big Fluffy Hippogriff**

What was this?

Everything was white. Blank, bright, blinding. No ground or sky, no walls, no anything. There was only white, and the longer I stared into its depths (or, rather, lack of depth) the more overpowering the white became. It felt as if the white was bleeding into my mind, cleansing of it of any thoughts or color and leaving behind a clean, blank, white slate.

I couldn't see my feet. I reached out, and I felt the fabric of my clothing pull at my shoulders, but I couldn't see my hands. I turned my head every which way but there was nothing here at all. _I _wasn't even here.

I was invisible. The whole world was invisible, it seemed.

Panic overtook me.

I wondered in a flurry where I could possibly be, what happened to me, where I was supposed to be. What day was it? Didn't I have class? I'd be late, my friends would worry, I had to find someone, something, _anything_ really...

Maybe someone would find me. Maybe it would be Sirius. He always had a good sense, being a dog and all... Or, Lily. I didn't know why I'd thought of Sirius first; I spent nearly every waking moment with Lily, when she wasn't with James. And yet, I couldn't stop worrying about where Sirius could be.

If I was invisible, I still was there, so that must have meant I could still walk, right? So there was still a world below me, still a place that I was in. I just couldn't see it... right?

I wished someone would answer my questions so I wouldn't feel so incredibly insane.

I gently inched my foot forward, careful not to lose my balance. Falling on an invisible ground did not sound too pleasant. I continued to move forward slowly, picking up a gradual pace, and soon enough, I felt grass being crushed beneath the weight of my shoes. A soft wind tickled my face and rustled through my hair. I raised a hand to feel my hair, and watched as the strands faded from the blinding white to their natural chestnut brown. I stopped and stared with wide eyes as the Hogwarts grounds transcended before me, growing rich in color and accent.

I walked—no, sprinted—into the castle as fast as I could possibly manage, until my lungs ached and my legs screamed, and I slowed to a walk. I maneuvered through the corridors and arrived at the Great Hall entrance, mentally and physically exhausted. My mind was still white and blank and the scene filtered through my mind without really translating into anything.

The silence of the white transformed into a loud burst of the sound of color and life. There were hundreds of students, more active and excited than I had ever seen them, occupied in their own conversations and oblivious to the rest of the world.

I stopped, standing where I was, and in a moment I was greeted by the feeling of arms wrapped around my waist, drawing me to a figure from behind. My mind was blank, and did not react at all, really. I felt almost as if I had been anticipating this. I let out a small breath and relaxed myself against the figure.

I turned my head to the side and tilted my chin up slightly, allowing myself a glance at the figure's face. I smiled at Kenneth, and he nestled in closer to me, leaning his head onto mine.

His breath was warm on my face, and he whispered against my neck, "You don't think your boyfriend would mind me holding you like this, do you?"

I stood there, unresponsive for a moment, and allowed myself to feel the heat of his body transmit onto my skin. Why was I still cold? It was as if the white world from only moments earlier had taken all my warmth, and I was still there, unaffected by this person who was practically a living furnace.

I met eyes with a certain boy sitting across the room, glancing innocently my way without expression. Instantly, it dawned on me who Kenneth was talking about.

"He's not..." But I paused. My thoughts rebounded in my head and nothing clicked and nothing made sense. I was purely instinct and my brain was disregarded. I couldn't filter through my thoughts and I couldn't find any logic, but I knew that right now, this was not right. Maybe not wrong, but not right, either. "I have to go," I said, slipping myself from his grasp. I met his eyes, and his face remained unchanged. I didn't know if he made any kind of response or not; I walked off in the opposite direction without giving it another thought.

I seated myself beside the boy without saying a word in greeting. He remained still, as if he wasn't aware of my presence, though I knew he had to be. It was instinct, after all.

Students all around us became a loud, incoherent roar, but it was only background noise. I could feel his every movement and hear his every breath, despite the chaos that surrounded us. It was odd, like we were in our very own bubble.

I shifted slightly in my position, and glanced at him, waiting. I became aware of my need to ask him a question, but it wouldn't budge, and I couldn't bring myself to say it. My hands traced patterns on the wood table nervously, clawing into its surface.

"Sirius," I finally said, dragging myself forward, despite the nerves that danced their way up and down my arms.

He turned and looked at me, face still expressionless and calm.

I took a deep breath, broke his gaze, and then returned it promptly, fidgeting in my seat. "Will you..." I choked out, and then cleared my throat. "Will you, um, pass the biscuits?"

* * *

The dark was light when I opened my eyes. A dim light, yes, but it was certainly progress from the realm of black I had just departed from.

Except, wasn't it white? It had been so bright...

I shifted myself upwards into a sitting position, and wiggled my toes at the foot of my bed.

_Oh. Just a dream, of course._

I stretched my arms and glanced around. I could see heaped figures of blankets and pajamas still in their respective four-poster beds, all sound asleep—well, except for Mary MacDonald, because she was a snorer.

Lily was probably snoring too—she always did—though it was much more gentle and difficult to distinguish over Mary's obnoxious rattles. Honestly, in first year, I would wake up in the middle of the night, frantic with worry that a mad, demented witch had broken into our dorm, only to discover that it was Mary.

Mary's snores shook the walls every night, but all of us had gotten used to it after seven years, thank Merlin. The sound of her rattling paused for a moment, and the room was eerily silent. The silence was disrupted with soft footsteps; normally, it would have been perfectly quiet and unidentifiable beneath the sound of Mary's snoring, but it was as if I could hear even the rush of air above my head in that moment.

What time was it? It was surely too early for anyone to be awake...

Mary's snoring commenced and I flinched at the sudden sound, my heart beating like I'd just narrowly dodged a bolt of lightning. Absentmindedly, I glanced around the room, curious as to what time it was.

Lily's bed was empty, I noticed. There was a dim candlelight glowing from the bathroom, and the door was cracked open. Quietly—and thanks to Mary, my footsteps were completely concealed—I tiptoed my way to the bathroom.

Right as I did so, I heard Lily blow the candle out, and I stood in front of the door in complete darkness.

Woops.

The door squeaked open and it took a moment for her to light her wand before she turned and gasped with a leap in the air.

"Merlin, Gracie!" she hissed, clutching at her chest. "What are you doing?"

"I woke up," I explained simply. "Better question would be, what are _you_ doing?"

"I woke up, too," she said, fidgeting and crossing her arms. "Had to use the toilet. Little nosy, aren't you?"

"Lily, you're already wearing your uniform," I pointed out. "Do you sleep in that thing?"

She huffed and pushed her way past me. "Curiosity killed the cat, and in respect for your life, I would suggest you get back to bed."

"Well," I said, clicking my tongue, "someone is acting a little suspicious."

"Gracie, honestly, you're so nosy," she sighed in frustration.

I let out a small laugh and shrugged. "All right, then... what time is it, anyways, do you know?"

"It's maybe... 5, I think," she answered.

"Breakfast isn't even till 7:30," I said, tilting my head in confusion. "Are you leaving?"

"I'll be back for breakfast," she mumbled, light color rising to her cheeks, "but I should probably go now..." She turned from me and sauntered off for the door.

"Okay, see you later. You look pretty, by the way!"

She swiveled around in her spot, looking at me, and gave me a glare.

"Tell James I said hi," I added, giving her a teasing wave good-bye.

She rolled her eyes, letting her shoulders relax. "It's not that big of a deal," she insisted. "I just go and see him every morning, and we talk. It's nothing _suspicious_."

"Honestly, you two should just get married already," I sighed, walking back to my bed. "All right, go on. But if he gets you pregnant, Lily—"

"Gracie!" she hissed. "I would not do that."

"I know, I know," I said, laughing. I'd had half the mind to ask her about my odd dream, but figured now wouldn't be the time, anyways. "I'm only teasing you now. Go on; don't let me hold you here."

She finally gave me something of a smile, less tense, and waved before leaving.

It honestly was so crazy how fast those two had gotten along. Didn't she despise his very existence only last year? I settled down in my bed and rolled over on my stomach, gazing at the wooden headboard. It had only been a couple of months now, but it still took me by surprise; November had settled in, and James and Lily had become in _constant_ interaction, much more than any year prior. I'd been spending a considerable amount of time with Kenneth as well, just about every free period and weekend I had. Where was the time going?

_Things change_, I told myself. _You'd be amazed..._

* * *

"I don't see why the two of you just don't announce that you're a couple already, honestly," the hippogriff muttered beside me.

And I don't see why I don't run out of this room screaming every time you come near me, but you don't see me complaining about it, do you?

I shot the hippogriff a sharp glance before pouring myself over the potion again. "You know, this is meant to be a two person effort."

"Oh, I got the ingredients," she said, smacking her lips for no apparent reason, "I'll let you handle the rest."

Which is precisely why she is referred to as hippogriff. The name of course has no relevance, but at the moment, it was the only insulting thing I could think of, and honestly, it flows, so why not?

Her name was Marie Claire something or other, and she was a little short and kind of pudgy. She had nice hair, though. It was long and dark and it shined just like the Draught of Living Death. Truly lovely.

"Do you think he's interested in you, anyways?" she continued, lounging in her chair like a lazy...beard.

I was so frustrated by her behavior that I couldn't even think of proper insults. The only thing I could really process was my inane desire to pick up this cauldron and chuck it at her face. Luckily for her, it was really hefty looking and probably weighed about ten stone, so I left it where it was.

"I don't know," I sighed, rubbing my temples with much force. It was the only thing I could do to not downright scowl at the girl. "I'm trying to count the stirs, so if you're not going to do anything, I would appreciate it if you would at least be quiet for a second."

"Sorry," she whispered. "Is this better?"

I stared at her, incredulous, and told myself that it wasn't even worth a response.

Usually, the seat beside me was occupied by either Lily or Remus, but they all seemed to have found better seating arrangements. Lily was partnered with James, Sirius with Remus, and Peter with Lucy O'Daley. I wasn't really sure how _that_ had happened, but he was certainly fascinated by her, and she adored him because that's really how everyone treated Peter. He didn't seem to mind that he wasn't ever taken seriously; he got to work with the pretty blonde-haired Lucy, and that was good enough for him.

Honestly, it was only a minute that I was sitting alone—it had to have only been a minute!—and just as Professor Slughorn went to start the class, Miss Hippogriff over here plopped down in the empty seat and started chattering away.

"Oh, I'm Marie Claire; I'm a Ravenclaw, if you didn't know! I don't think we've ever really talked, I always saw you with your friends and I always wanted to say hi but I never got the chance—"

I tried to be polite, I did, I promise. I acted flattered and told her, yes, I know who you are, I've gone to this school for seven years, and then asked that she please be quiet so that I could listen to Professor Slughorn's instructions for the day, but she kept on flapping her big hippogriff beak, and I missed all of his instructions.

The terrifyingly large fire that erupted in my cauldron that afternoon was, thus, entirely her fault.

"So," she squawked on, "have you two kissed yet?"

Referring to, of course, no other than Kenneth Howell. She was extremely nosy and personal, and obsessed with the idea of Kenneth and me and everything that that entailed on a level I could not even begin to understand.

I chose to let her question pass by, and drew my textbook towards myself, going over the instructions a final time to ensure that there would be absolutely no explosions or fatal accidents today.

Apparently, she was unaffected by my ignoring.

"You know, Gracie," Marie Claire said, smacking her lips again. I really didn't understand why that was such a habit for her. "You don't have to be _embarrassed_ about it."

Way to misinterpret my sentiments.

"You should be able to be open about things, you know."

Yes, I know. I know already. I know.

"I mean, you should know that if you ever have any kind of guy issues, I'll always be here for you to talk it through. You have me, you know."

I let this process in my mind for a moment, and a laugh escaped my mouth before I could tell myself that that would be inappropriate.

"What?" she asked, seemingly baffled by my reaction.

I internally scolded my brain for its lack of control and composed my face as much as possible, meeting her gaze. "I'm sorry, I just," _Searching for an excuse, searching for an excuse..._ "I just, I can't believe I didn't think of that before. Thank you, Marie Claire." I resisted the urge to gag. "I appreciate the offer."

"Oh, of course," she replied airily, in a tone somewhere between content and ecstasy. "Oh, oh, look who it is!" She hopped a little in her seat.

_Oh, oh, oh, oh! Honestly, I've never wanted to slap someone more..._

I twisted in my seat, looking up at the _mystery _person's face. "Hello, Kenneth," I greeted dryly. Oh, oh, what a surprise. It wasn't as if I wasn't happy to see him, but it was difficult to be enthusiastic around hippogriff here. She had enough enthusiasm for the both of us.

"Oh," Marie Claire repeated eagerly. This girl was uncontrollable. _Would you please for the love of Merlin..._ "We were just talking about you, actually!"

"No, I believe that was just _you_—"

"Well, don't mean to break up the party, but I think your potion..." he gestured to it, and I had no time to worry about hippogriff's senseless confession; I had stopped watching the potion for a minute, no less than a minute, it couldn't have been, and already it was bubbling dastardly like it was ready to explode.

I shrieked, grabbing the ladle, and stirred as fast as I could possibly manage.

Kenneth chuckled and stood beside me, taking the ladle away from me gently. "No need to panic, just stir it gently," he assured, demonstrating. "But you almost had it there."

"Thanks," I murmured as he returned the ladle. I let out a caged breath. This class had soon become very exhausting.

"Oh, Marie Claire," Kenneth said, turning towards her, "Ruth told me that you were brilliant with Potions. We were having a little bit of trouble with ours, and she was wondering if you could help..." I caught a glance over at Ruth, Kenneth's Potions partner, who looked absolutely distressed. She had some kind of slime all the way up to her elbows and spewed across her face, and she might as well have been in Gryffindor with the mane her hair now resembled.

"Well," Marie Claire said, glancing over as well. She obviously was very content in her current lounging position, but she was obviously very fixated with Kenneth as well, and didn't seem like she could bear to reject his request. "I guess so," she said, and stood up, moving like a snail.

"And you'll probably want to get some more rat tails, while you're at it," he added, swiftly occupying hippogriff's seat, waving her away with a smile. "Hurry! Before Ruth burns all her hair off! She needs you!" he cried empathically, much more than necessary.

Marie Claire stared, blinked, and walked off.

I wondered how he had gotten her to go away so easily. _Why hadn't I thought of something that simple... Maybe next time I'll just throw her a ferret and tell her to fetch._

I continued stirring, slowly, and looked up at Kenneth, who was watching, looking amused.

"So, I hope you were only saying good things about me to Marie Claire?" he inquired, a smile playing at his lips. He was hardly ever very serious for long. Always smiling, always happy. _Does he get along with everyone? _He must have.

I allowed myself to laugh, feeling my frustration slip away. "No, honestly, I didn't say anything. She just always asks me about you." I shook my head. "_Always_."

"Hmm," he said, pondering aloud. "I don't know how to take that."

"She _adores_ you," I said. "Worships the ground you walk on. She probably says your name in her sleep."

He contorted his face.

"Not to, you know, creep you out or anything, of course," I clarified quickly.

"Of course not. Why would you say that? Not creepy at all."

"No, no, it's a perfectly normal thing. I stalk plenty of people."

"Really? Are you implying that darling Marie Claire here stalks me?"

I shrugged sheepishly. "_Maybeee_."

"And, you, stalking people? I don't believe it."

"Well, I'm a stalker when you have a crazy side. We'll leave it at that."

"I never said that was a definite characteristic of mine," he said. "Just on occasion."

I rolled my eyes in amusement. "Well, in that case, I'm not really a stalker. I just enjoy studying people."

"Nothing wrong with that," he said.

"And researching them," I added.

"_Researching?_"

"Yes," I answered, "straight down to favorite color and the wallpaper in their bathroom at home."

"Wow. I'd say that's almost impressive, really," Kenneth responded.

"Almost?"

"Sorry," he amended quickly. "Very impressive."

"Thank you," I said, smiling in spite of myself. I liked how I didn't have to tell him I was joking. Most people would be horrified that I would ever dare to say something so creepy. Not that it was neccesarily very creepy at all, but apparently people are very sensitive about their bathrooms. I've no idea what it is with those people.

He smiled, and stared off at something over my shoulder. "That was a little quicker than I thought it'd be. I was hoping to get you to myself for a minute..." he said, looking a little disappointed, but still happy, nonetheless. "Hello, Marie Claire."

"Oh, look who it is," I exclaimed, looking up at her. "We were just talking about you!"

She looked somewhat horrified, but ignored my comment. Apparently she did not appreciate my humor. "Ruth is asking for you," she said to Kenneth.

"I'll catch up with you after class," he said quickly to me, before skidding off over to his no doubt infuriated Potions partner.

"What happened?" I asked Marie Claire, who looked far from upset.

"She told me I was hopeless, and to get away. Basically." She shrugged, looking at the ground. It really hadn't even been _that_ long. "You don't think I'm hopeless, do you?"

I coughed, loudly. "Oh, no. No, of course not."

"Okay," she said, making a _hmph_ noise. She folded her arms and nestled herself into her seat. "What a sour ninny."

I sighed and continued to stir the potion. _What a sour ninny indeed..._

* * *

"No need to blow your friends off for me, really," Kenneth said. "I can always just catch you at dinner or—"

"Shh," I cut him off, hitting his arm without any kind of force at all. "I'll see them next period anyways. They can wait. Okay? You have me all to yourself, for a good... five minutes."

He laughed, looping an arm around my shoulders as we walked. I would probably be late to class, as we were walking in the opposite direction, but it didn't matter. Or, I would pretend it didn't matter.

"You should come see me play tomorrow," he said, "Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw. Most intense game of the year, maybe."

"Nah," I teased, turning my face up at him. "Gryffindor and Slytherin, _that_ is something to see."

"True, but Slytherin's no fun to watch," he said. "They're just downright rude. No manners."

He was really warm, I noticed. I vaguely remembered my dream, how I had felt so cold... Well, I had only been dreaming, after all.

"I'll come watch," I said, letting out a little laugh. "Even if it's not _that_ interesting."

"It will be. Most definitely," he said, "promise."

"Okay. I promise to root for you, even though you're the enemy."

He laughed, pulling me in closer to him in an absentminded manner.

"But, I will not root for the rest of your team," I said, poking him in the side. "So, I hope you do well, but as for the rest of the team..."

"Well, we don't stand a chance then, I suppose. Lions are probably more fierce, anyways."

"You are absolutely right._ Rawr_," I growled, and I stopped walking and moved in front of him, wrapping my arms around his waist. "I'm pretty fierce, yeah?"

"Of course," he said, tilting his face down to mine.

_I have absolutely no idea what has gotten into me. At all._

And yet, I really didn't care.

I didn't care what any bit of this meant, what was going to happen, what all that doubt was doing in my head, where it had gone... I was definitely going crazy.

I just leant forward, and kissed him, because it didn't feel wrong in any sense.

* * *

_A/N: I can't really believe I wrote so much..and I really wanted to fit more into this chapter, too! Sorry for the wait, to all of you that have been reading. I appreciate it greatly, you have no idea. Thank you for waiting around for this. I'll most definitely try to get updates out for more often! Cookies for reviewing, as always :) _


	8. Lips Like Fire

_Chapter Eight_

**Lips Like Fire**

Sirius moved past me towards the railing, brushing me aside in favor of a better view. "Possibly the most intense game of the year," he said over the roar of avid and loyal Gryffindors, "and here you are, wondering who to root for. You are truly unbelievable, Gracie!"

I growled, squeezing my way next to him, and shot him a kick in the leg. "Just because I didn't dress up as the Gryffindor mascot doesn't mean I've suddenly abandoned all of my House pride," I attested, in regard to the mass of maroon and gold paint that had become Sirius's entire face. Beside him, Remus's cheeks were adorned with a much calmer pair of house-coordinated stripes. Where Peter was, I truly had no idea, but the way that my fellow classmates were gathering around the front of the stands like it was the dead of the winter and we were surrounding the only fire left on the earth, I did not blame him for skipping out. I was beginning to think I might die of suffocation if this went on much longer.

If I could have, I probably would have skipped out, too, and spent the day throwing cockroach clusters at the Giant Squid; _but_, Sirius was adamant that I witness Ravenclaw's defeat, and I had to admit, despite the chaos, I was a little interested in seeing Kenneth's performance. He was Seeker, after all, and that made him one of two star focuses of this game.

"Excuse me!" a shrill voice called out, and I stole a glance over my shoulder and saw a bright red head of hair bobbing its way through the mob. "I said, _excuse_ me! I am Head Girl, and if you do not move out of my way, I will personally arrange you a detention this afternoon with Filch!"

I watched with mirth as she peeled her way through to the front. She threw her hands down on the rail, cheeks flushed and breathless from the effort, and turned to me with her eyebrows raised. "Well, that was effective," she said, disregarding my amusement at her struggle. "Maybe not the most honest I have ever been... Against the rules... None the matter," she said, breathing out in a mad rush. "How's the game?" Her gaze drifted to the Quidditch pitch, where the players were pelting through the sky at such speed it was becoming difficult to specifically follow anyone. And a certain dark, messy haired boy of interest happened to be one of these darting specks in the air.

"Marvelous," I informed her. "40-10, Gryffindor in the lead."

Sirius leaned in across me, and I swatted at his hair in annoyance as it brushed against my face. I had half the mind to yank it away, but the faint smell of coconut drifted towards me and I was stood there, immobilized, wondering how he could possibly smell so good. Shampoo was probably the most reasonable answer, but I had no idea that boys actually made an effort to smell good. Not that I had ever smelled a boy, _actually_, now that I came to think of it... _Why am I even thinking this? What is wrong with me?_

He was reacting to Lily's appearance, attempting to carry his voice over the roar of the stands, and I quickly let those thoughts slip my mind. "Have either of you ever noticed how breathtakingly attractive James is on a broomstick," Sirius asked, in all _serious_ness, "or was just that me?"

Lily released a breath, shot him a glance and then looked back out onto the field. The agitation quickly faded from her face, and she smiled goofily, returning another glance at Sirius. "That's not funny," she insisted, though she certainly _looked_ amused.

Sirius quickly stood up straight, and held up his hands. "Not joking! Only complete honesty. Right? You agree, Remus?"

"Oh, yeah," Remus said, nodding his head, "almost as attractive as Howell, I would say."

Lily let out something of a giggle and a snort. I rolled my eyes at the two boys, and Sirius responded to Remus's comment with a playful bump of my shoulder. "Did you see how he nearly had the Snitch a moment ago?" Sirius asked loudly, and much too emphatically. "And how it slipped _right_ through his fingers, just like _that_?" He threw his hand in the air, spreading his fingers as if it was a bird in flight.

I swiped at his arm, muttering, "Sirius, sod off."

"He's irresistible up there, he is," Sirius continued, ignoring my request. "I can completely see why you would root for him rather than your own House. The House that has served as your shelter and resting place and sanctuary for nearly seven years now, I completely—"

The stream of Sirius's words was drowned in an overwhelming pulse of sound from the students, Gryffindor and Ravenclaw both. Something had happened and one of the Gryffindor chasers—I couldn't tell who, but it wasn't James—was hit by a bludger, and it completely destroyed the end of their broom, resulting in a spiral nose-dive towards the ground.

"Oh, that was _not_ pretty," a voice called over the commentator's box, namely, Alex Fronsac, seventh year Ravenclaw. People were shouting about a foul, but the game went on. "No fouls, no fouls, everyone can calm down. That's what happens when you're not paying attention, Swott! Maybe then if we're paired together in Potions again, that'll teach you to listen to—oh, right, talking about the game, I know, Professor! One Gryffindor chaser down, _two to go_. Just kidding, Potter and Matlock, we Ravenclaw are very friendly players. Olney has the Quaffle, Ravenclaw in possession, maybe we'll make this pass, nope, that's an interception—Gryffindor in possession, Potter passes to Matlock, will they get it pass Winikus? Will they get it past—oh, of course, ten points for Gryffinor. _Hurray_."

I scoffed, sharing a look with Sirius. "There's a reason Prongs and I tested that inside-out trouser charm on Fronsac in particular last year," he said to me, grumbling.

Fronsac was a little infamous for his sarcasm. Professor McGonagall was always scolding him on his commentating, too; I didn't see why he was _still_ up there after three straight years.

"Ravenclaw beaters are looking a bit cranky again, maybe they'll knock another Gryffindor out—I'm only kidding, honestly!—oh, has Howell spotted the Snitch? Is he... no, false call. Oh! And Matlock narrowly misses a Bludger to the head—Ravenclaw takes the Quaffle from Potter—Wilk aims the Bludger at Fawcett, but ha! Missed! Oh, wait, Merlin, Fawcett drops the Quaffle, and—Potter sweeps in with a masterful dive and recovers the Quaffle, Gryffindor in possession! But, wait, that—"

The rest of Fronsac's words were drowned as Lily let out an ear piercing shriek and a collective mass of students gasped in fear as a Bludger pelted James straight in the shoulder and he immediately lost control of his broom.

My stomach lurched, but it had been nothing in comparison to Lily's outburst. She flinched, jumping about a foot in the air, and grabbed the railing as hard as she could. It seemed like she thought maybe her grip would somehow help him adjust himself on his broom, but whatever unconscious attempt it might have been, it did no good, and he completely lost his grip.

The whole stadium erupted in alarmed cries. The fall had been much worse than Benjamin Swott's fall, the other Chaser; James plummeted like a falling star, and tumbled to the ground in a heap of Quidditch robes, indistinguishable across the field. This time, Madam Hooch released a small whistle, and Madam Pomfrey was rushing onto the Pitch; Lily was rushing back through the mob before I could even call her name.

* * *

"James Potter, you are a git! I cannot believe you! How could you not pay attention to what was happening on the field?" Lily screeched, voice pulsing with furious concern, face almost as red as her hair. "So irresponsible! What were you even looking at? You looked away from the field, and then you got hit! What were you doing? Showing off, maybe, because you have too much damn pride? Look at you, look at your shoulder! You are so irresponsible that I cannot even—"

"Miss Evans," Madam Pomfrey's sharp voice broke across Lily's rampage. "Yelling at Mr. Potter will only make his condition worse. If you do not settle down immediately, I will have to completely retract Mr. Potter's visitor privileges for the day so he can rest."

Lily turned to Madam Pomfrey with wide eyes, and the color in her face faded gradually as she allowed herself to calm down. "Oh, I'm so sorry," she apologized, shaking her head and taking a deep breath. Her eyes flickered back to James, who was gazing up at her, looking terrified. She sat next to him on his cot, lowering her voice considerably. "I'm sorry, I just..." She paused, eyes intent on his face. "I got a little carried away. This, though," she said, gesturing to the splint and bottle of some ungodly very-close-to-toxic potion that lay on his bedside, "is your entire fault. You looked away. If you'd been paying attention..." She trailed off then and wrapped her arms around herself, looking like she didn't want to go on. I could see her replaying his fall over and over again in her mind, and she winced every time.

I pranced over to them, and tapped James on the head. "Look at how worked up you got her, with your silly carelessness. You know, she could have popped a vein in her head, or something very... fatal," I said, very matter-of-factly.

"I have never seen her run so fast," Sirius added.

"Never seen her so _livid_. I got in her way for a second and she nearly ran me over," Remus said.

James chuckled, eyes focused solely on Lily's face.

She huffed, disregarding our comments. "What were you looking at, anyways?" I had missed it, but apparently, it was the very moment that he slowed down and stopped to stare at something that the Bludger clipped him in the shoulder. "What kind of dedicated Chaser looks away from the field—"

"Actually," James responded, tone rather unaffected, "I was looking for you."

That stopped her. Lily paused, straightening her back, slight color returning to her cheeks. "What for?"

"Well, to see if you actually came," he replied, a small smirk playing on his lips, "like you said you would."

Lily sighed. "James!" She slapped his arm, but apologized fervently as he gasped out in pain. "You picked _that_ moment..." She muttered on, something about stupidity and pride, and rubbed her temples with her fingertips. "You're hopeless. Absolutely hopeless."

He gave her a cheeky grin, an attempt to console her, apparently.

"Well, not to interrupt this cute moment, but I think I'll be heading out now," I announced. Sirius and Remus both nodded alongside in agreement.

"Glad you're not _too_ bad off, Prongs," Remus said.

"Yeah," Sirius chimed in, "even has a lady to keep him company. Can't say you're suffering too much, mate."

Lily breathed loudly, patience continually deteriorating. James shot him a look that said _shut up before you get me in trouble_ with the silliest expression wiped all over his face.

"We'll leave you two to yourselves now," I said, yanking the boys by their sleeves for emphasis. "Don't have too much fun now. Remember, Lily, he's injured!"

She turned and gave me a look.

I laughed and waved to the both of them (only James returned a smile, of course—he was enjoying this). Right as we were leaving—and honestly, it was maybe 30 seconds—I took a glance back over my shoulder. They had already seemed to forget about us; Lily was speaking to him in hushed tones with her fingers laced in his.

I looked at Sirius, covering my giggle with my hand, and we shared a look as if we knew they'd end up like this all along.

* * *

"Oh, bloody hell, don't tell me they're serious," Sirius moaned.

We were standing in front of the Quidditch Pitch as students piled out; half of them were giddy beyond belief, singing and marching and dancing all over the place, while the other half silently moved inside as fast as they could, with the longest and sourest expressions I had ever seen. Sirius and I had eagerly rushed back to the Pitch, hoping to catch the last bits of the game, only to find we were perfectly on time for the end.

"No," I said, "they're not. _You_ are." I nudged him, silently hinting that I was the funniest person to ever exist, and that he should agree with me immediately.

However, being the slow person he was, he only stared blankly. "What?"

"You're...serious." I blinked, waiting for him to understand. "Sirius. Get it?"

He groaned and threw his head on my shoulder, releasing a series of rather fake and melodramatic sobs. "Ravenclaw can _not_ win! This is impossible, a disgrace, I will not stand for it—"

"Then sit," I suggested, patting him on the back.

"You're going to kill me with your jokes," he said, voice muffled by my shoulder.

People continued to swerve around us, many staring as Sirius continued to complain and cry and be very, very vocal with his disappointment in our team.

"Sirius, can we go inside now? It's getting dark," I whined, attempting to thrust him off my shoulder, but he wrapped his arms around my neck and stayed there like a sticking charm. "Siriusss! You're such a girl, get _up_!"

"No," he said, imitating a small, stubborn child. "You're breaking our contract."

I sighed—very audibly, so he would hear—and dragged my feet forwards, dragging him along with me. "What _contract_?" He proved very difficult to move, and I could only imagine that we resembled a penguin with our modified waddle walk.

"The one where we agree that we are both psycho and therefore must tolerate each other."

"I do not believe I included 'hanging on Gracie like a leech' anywhere in that letter," I retorted, "and I don't recall you even agreeing to that 'contract,' either."

"Well, it was implied," he muttered. "Wait! Wait, stop moving, I just remembered something."

"What? I'm going inside, Sirius, it's bloody freezing out here, and I'm taking you with me, if that's what it takes," I said, my teeth already chattering.

He released his grip on me, and I let out a gasp of relief. He narrowed his eyes at me, and then said, "I just remembered that James left his Quidditch bag in the locker room. I was going to go get that for him."

I dusted off my shoulder, as if it had recently collected dust from its encounter with his face. "All right. I will... see you later then," I said slowly, feeling as if I had forgotten something, too. I waved, waggling my fingers in his face, and he swatted it away.

"Wait here!" he said, bouncing on his feet. "Don't leave me! I'll be really quick, I promise."

"_Sirius_..."

"Our contract!" he pleaded. "Please, please, please!"

It was really hard to say no when his gray eyes were all wide and watery and pouty looking. As immature as he was acting, it was adorable. It really wasn't fair, either; of course he could pull off a puppy dog look excellently—he _was_ a dog, pretty much.

"Fine," I hissed through my teeth, pushing him away. "Even though you're making up rules to our contract now, fine. Go, be fast, or I swear to Merlin's baggy trousers—"

"I don't even want to hear where you're going with that!" he called, darting off in the opposite direction as fast as he could, disappearing into a sea of people in moments.

It was only when I was standing there, alone, wrapping my arms around myself in an attempt to warm myself, that I remembered. Ravenclaw had just won—which meant, more than likely, that Kenneth caught the Snitch. Where was he? I had meant to congratulate him, but it slipped my mind...

But I had no idea where he would be, and Sirius had told me to wait here.

So I waited, and I watched the door as the last few people left the Pitch.

And I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And then, after a good ten minutes of standing outside the Pitch, alone, in the cold, freezing my absolute dudder butt off, the Ravenclaw team came rushing out, freshly showered and still pulsing with excitement over their victory.

They all positively zoomed past me, most not even taking a moment to glance my way—except for Kenneth, who noticed me standing alone immediately.

"Grace!" he called, jogging up to me. Oh my good Merlin, I needed his warmth right then. His eyes were brighter than ever, and the corners of his mouth were curved with a smile that seemed to be more prominent than usual. "What are you doing here, all alone?"

"Waiting," I murmured irritably. "Sirius is supposed to be getting James's stuff, and I told him I'd wait..." I shivered uncontrollably. "Oh, and I meant to tell you congratulations. So, congratulations, you champion."

He moved closer to me, seeming to sense that I was freezing my dudder butt off. Well, I wasn't really trying to hide it. "Thank you," he said, and he tightened his mouth, attempting to frown. "I mean, that was a terrible game. Gryffindor completely should have won."

I laughed, trembling all the way down to my toes. "Yeah, yeah," I said, rolling my eyes. "No need to pretend like you're not the happiest bloke in the world. You caught the Snitch, I'm assuming?"

"Mm-hm," he mumbled, and he brought me close to him, wrapping his arms around me. "You didn't see it?"

"Well, I _was_ at the game, like I promised!" And I was very much grateful for his body warmth at that point, because I was afraid I was about to collapse otherwise. "But then James, well, you know... we went to make sure he was all right, and then when we got back, Ravenclaw had won."

He pressed his lips together tightly. "Well, if it's any conciliation, we only won because Potter was gone."

I let out something of a laugh. "Okay, right, because James is the only thing keeping that team together!" I shook my head, smiling. "Don't worry about it. I'm not the Quidditch fanatic out of them all. You should have seen Sirius. He was _sobbing_."

"Really?"

"No, but when he found out we lost, he _was_ rather annoying."

"Hm." He gazed down at me, and stroked my cheek absentmindedly. "Speaking of which, are you still waiting for him, or can we move inside? Because it's a little too cold out here."

"Still waiting," I said with a bit of a sigh. "He'll murder me if I leave without him, though he _did_ promise he'd only be a minute." I shrugged. "Go on without me, though. I don't mind."

He leaned his face down onto mine, the tip of his nose on mine, and I could hear the softest smile in his voice as he whispered, "It's not that cold."

I laughed. "Lies."

"Oh well," he said, and he brushed his lips against mine, tauntingly, sweetly, _daringly_, almost.

I pressed my lips fully onto his in response, and instantly the chill in my body was set ablaze. My heart beat right in time with the movement of our mouths, and I forgot everything. Forgot that it was cold, that it was the middle of the night, that I had ever had any doubts about this boy, that Sirius was going to be here any moment, all of it. The only thing I could feel in that moment was him and the warmth that he always radiated.

My hands found the back of his neck, and my fingers were soon tangled in his hair. I could feel his hands at my back, holding me to him tightly, and everything felt so surreal, so indefinite and so... overwhelming.

I shifted only slightly, breaking away gently from the kiss, now incredibly breathless as the chill fell back over me. I lowered my arms, bringing them back into myself, and looked up at him.

That same smile was still on his mouth, like it never left. "Hey, Grace?" he said, gently, as if anything louder might disturb me.

"Hm?"

"I really like you," he said simply, and it felt like a whisper against my skin. "Just so you know."

My mind swam, images of Sirius and me dancing beneath the fireworks, him holding onto me and fake crying, Sirius, Sirius, Sirius... why were these thoughts here? I was with Kenneth. And he was fantastic, and he was brilliant, and he was more than I could ever ask for, and yet... it still wasn't _right_.

Not wrong, in any sense, and so I told myself, that even if it wasn't _right_, maybe it could be. It wasn't wrong, at least. And that was something.

"You, too," I said, inhaling slightly. "I like you, too."

He just smiled, and his eyes flitted away from me briefly. "You know," he said, "I feel like we never get enough time together... I think it's already time for you to go."

"Hm?" I looked up as Kenneth released me, and saw Sirius standing there with James's bag, bouncing on his toes like a jitter bug. "Oh," I said, and I let out the smallest laugh. "All right, then," I said, giving Kenneth's fingers a little squeeze. "We'll talk later. Okay?"

"Of course," he responded. He drifted backwards, gave me a little wave, and nodded slightly to Sirius before he turned down the path towards the school.

Sirius skipped up to me, still bouncing up and down uncontrollably. We met eyes, and he looked at me, almost expectantly, as if desiring an explanation.

"What?" I mumbled, shoving him along the path. My face burned, and I wondered how long he'd been there. Hopefully not too long. Hopefully... _why do I care?_ "Thanks for taking forever. I appreciate it. This dudder butt of mine is officially an icicle." _Stop caring._

"I can tell you were _really_ suffering while I was gone." He rolled his eyes, and nudged me teasingly. "Sorry to interrupt you two, but I felt like I'd left you alone long enough."

"You think?" I sighed, rubbing my arms with my palms. "What took you so long, anyways?"

"Stupid team locked me out of the locker room," he grumbled. "Told me that I had to wait for the girls to get out of the showers first. Like I was going to sneak a look at them or something? Honestly. Ridiculous."

I laughed loudly. "You wouldn't have! Right? Tell me your morals are higher than that."

"Of course I wouldn't," he said. "Only with _permission_."

"Ew," I said, still laughing and jittering and mind reeling with the memories of the entire night. "Subject change! I'm dying. I'll race you back."

"I have to carry this big arse of a bag, that's not even remotely fair."

"I don't care. You left me outside, so it's _only_ fair."

"Fine," he said, exhaling. "Probably beat you still. I'll count down. On three, all right? One—_Gracie_! Get back here, oi, Merlin—_cheater_!"

* * *

_A/N: it is 1:26 am and I have school in a couple of hours, but I could absolutely not resist. Sorry if it seems a little rushed, but I was excited to get this out! Also, you might've noticed the title and summary changed.. Whatdya think, will it work? Let me know, I love feedback and I have lots of cookies to give for reviews! ;) teehee thank you all for reading! _


	9. I Killed Sirius Black

_Chapter Nine_

**I Killed Sirius Black**

Lily yanked hard at my hair, and I let out a shrill yelp.

"I'm so sorry!" Lily whispered, jolting at my reaction, and we both laughed, having almost forgotten that it was well into the night and all of the other girls in the dormitory were asleep by then. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I answered, straightening my back. "I don't think I'm bald quite yet, so it's all right."

She made a noise, something like snorting and clicking her tongue, an odd noise that belonged to Lily alone. She continued to tug gently at my hair as she plaited it down my back. "Well, finish your story, then," she urged.

"Oh, right." I briefly wondered if Lily had yanked the brain cells from my head. I'd been in the middle of recalling how we'd become friends when she'd pulled on my hair like a horse whip and I'd gotten completely off track.

I let the memories flow freely out of my mouth as they trailed through my mind. I actually hadn't remembered a lot of them until I'd sat down to think about them.

The first day of school had been so long ago now. It was so odd to think about. It was almost like, _the Sorting Hat will sort you into one of the four Houses_—blink—_congratulations to the graduating seventh year!_

Yes, it seemed to have gone on just like that, and it was frightening.

The feeling of being a first year floated back to me, and I felt the nervous butterflies in my stomach again, the chills escalating up my arms, the cry in the back of my throat. I'd stood on the train that day, immobilized. I'd never felt so abandoned in all of my life. My parents had gotten rid of me, I was convinced.

It didn't help that I couldn't find an empty compartment, either, and when I made an attempt to enter one, the boy inside told me to get out because I was a first year. In a mad rush, I'd told him I was going to report him to Professor Dumbledore and then ran out to find a new compartment.

I didn't even think about it the second time; I ran into the first one I spotted, opened and slammed the door, and jumped down on the seat, wordlessly claiming the spot as mine and only mine.

I remember raising my eyes to the others in the compartment, carefully, afraid that they would try to get rid of me, too, or find some reason to poke fun at me. There were a couple of older students, obviously sorted and well acquainted with each other, who hadn't seemed to notice my presence. But there were two others that very obviously _did_—they looked at me, eyes a little wide. It was a girl, with red, flaming hair, and she was observing me with her eyebrows kneaded in concern. The boy next to her was very drab looking, with long, inky, unkempt hair, and staring at me as if I was going to claim all of the candy in the world and never share a single piece of it. Well, that was what I had assumed, anyways, because my eleven year old self hadn't developed much past fun and candy at that point.

I'd pursed my lips, refusing to explain myself, and they carried on. The boy—Severus—turned to the girl—Lily—and was talking to her about the Houses and something about ridiculously arrogant boys that were probably going to end up in Hufflepuff.

I knew the names of the Houses, but neither my mother nor my father had taken the time to explain the difference between them, and so I was immediately interested in the two's conversation.

I couldn't remember exactly what was said, but I could recall myself piping up and asking about Slytherin and Hufflepuff and which was better. Severus had puffed his chest out a little, told me how Slytherin was definitely the best of them all, and given me a quick, very-biased and untrue run-down of the four Houses. He hadn't minded me butting into his conversation, it seemed, as I was just as clueless as the girl beside him. He seemed to enjoy speaking of the Houses, as if the knowledge gave him some kind of superiority.

The girl smiled at me, but didn't say much. After Severus had finished his House ramble, I sunk back in my seat and let them talk aimlessly, and watched out the window instead. We arrived at Hogwarts some time after and were sorted.

I watched as Lily Evans was called up and received Gryffindor, and my mind wandered to the boy on the train beside her, who had seemed so convinced that they would be in the same House. I began to grow a little nervous because I had no idea as to what to expect. The roll call skipped on and soon it reached _H_ and I was dragging myself towards the front.

The hat had been on my head maybe only thirty seconds before it decided there would be no other place for me than Gryffindor. I got up from the stool and wondered vaguely if that Severus boy would be in Gryffindor, too. After all, he'd been wrong about Lily, hadn't he?

I went and sat next to the bright-haired girl, who was already speaking very animatedly with a boy I hadn't met. She saw me, let out a sigh of relief, and turned away from the boy. I met his eyes uncertainly, and he shrugged, and we shared a look of confusion at Lily's behavior. I sat with her throughout dinner, and she chatted with me idly about the school and various things back in home, about how she was muggleborn, how this was all so shocking to her and the like. I was struggling to keep up with the flow of words, and I felt almost as if I had been struck mute. My mind was all over the castle, it seemed, and I could barely form a coherent thought.

When we were dismissed to our common rooms, Lily darted off to find Severus, and I stood, rubbing my lips together, trying to focus on anything other than my sweaty palms. I was hardly _ever_ nervous... but being left alone then, I had completely lost sense of what to do.

Luckily, I wasn't left alone for long. The dark-haired boy that was bothering Lily earlier darted up next to me, accompanied by a boy with similarly colored hair, though his was a bit shorter and messier. They introduced themselves as Sirius Black and James Potter, and asked me if I was friends with the _she-devil_ and her minion.

I explained that I barely knew her, but had hardly thought of her as a "she-devil."

They just laughed together, replaying a conversation they'd apparently had with her earlier, saying something about how she'd wanted to be in Slytherin. I wasn't really catching on, and let them entertain themselves with their conversation before they remembered I was there.

"What's your name again?" Sirius had asked me, peering forward and gazing at me with wide, grey eyes. I distinctly remembered this moment, like it was engraved into my mind and I wouldn't ever be able to let it go.

I had been slightly put off, wondering why he hadn't remembered from the Sorting, and mumbled, "_Grace_," without caring if he'd heard.

"What was that?" James asked, bobbing on the other side of me like a float in the water.

I grew irritated, heat rising to my face, and my lips fumbled out, "Wuwah," because I didn't care to repeat my name and I very honestly wanted to get away from those two.

"Did you say _Wuwah_?" Sirius said, disbelief getting the best of him.

"Yes," I stammered. "What? Is there something wrong with my name?"

"What kind of name is—"

Sirius slapped James's arm. "That's an _awesome_ name! I wish I was named Wuwah."

I snorted. "Well, it's a girl's name, really." No, it wasn't really.

"Wuwah," James repeated, blinking his eyes.

"Nice to meet you, _Wuwah_," Sirius said, giving me a little bow, and turned to share an amused look with James.

We'd been called to go to our dormitories then, and the two departed in a kind of over-dignified manner, strutting along and laughing about some joke I wasn't a part of. I remember crossing my arms and shaking my head, deciding right then and there that I didn't like those two.

Lily finished up the braid, tying it tightly, and smoothed it out over my shoulder. "Oh, James and Sirius," she sighed wistfully. "They haven't changed much, have they?"

"Not much," I agreed, raising my hand to feel the braid. I glanced at the two of us in the mirror, trying to imagine what we could have looked like back in first year. Lily met my eyes in the mirror, seemingly on the same train of thought. I took a moment to observe her—she had certainly got much taller over the years, and quite a bit thinner. Her hair was a shockingly bright red, with a little swooping wave, falling somewhere at her back. Her skin was a great contrast to her hair, very light and luminous, almost. And her green eyes. My goodness, Lily practically screamed for attention with her powerful, eminent features.

I felt somewhere inferior to her beauty, glancing at myself instead. I was just a bit shorter, but not by much. My hair was so much darker, a chestnut brown, and fell to the side of my face and down past my chest in Lily's perfectly crafted braid. My skin was quite a bit tanner than hers, and my eyes were caramel and light compared to the sparkling emeralds in Lily's eyes.

Lily's hand tugged at the end of my braid, and she smiled. "How come you have to be so pretty, Gracie?"

I rolled my eyes, turning away from the mirror. "I was literally just wondering the same about you."

She started on about insecurity or something similar, but was interrupted by the sound of something hitting the door. We both turned to look at it, and then shared a wary glance.

"What was that, you reckon?"

Lily shrugged. "I'll go check. Maybe it was Mary's cat… that beast's always running about."

She went and opened the door slowly, peering out of it.

"What is it?" I called to her in the loudest whisper I could manage.

"It's a… book." She bent down and picked it up, holding it out so that I could see it. A Charms book. "Why would someone…" She peered out the door again, looking down the hallway. "Oi, Sirius! Merlin, what are you doing?"

"Ohhh!" I gasped. "I forgot, oh gosh." I jolted up from my spot, darting over to the door. "I promised Sirius I would study Charms with him." I took the book from Lily. I shot a glance down the hallway and spotted Sirius, awkwardly poised on the railing to the dormitories at an angle where he could reach our door.

He groaned in annoyance, muttering something inaudibly, and peeled himself off the railing to step down onto the stairs.

Bad idea.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, you're such an idiot," I sighed, rushing down the stairs to help him up. Well, they were stairs now, but they had morphed into a lovely slippery slide at Sirius's touch. He was lying at the foot of the stairs in a heap and let out another loud, pitiable groan.

"I forgot," he mumbled, rubbing his temples.

"I'll be back later, Lily," I called to her.

"Is Sirius okay?"

"Yes. He's just a moron." I patted his shoulder, and he swatted at it.

"All right," she said, giving us a wave. "Goodnight then, you two."

"Night," Sirius called back as she disappeared. He made a disgruntled noise and rolled onto his back lazily. "Look what happens when you forget about me."

"It's not my fault," I said, helping him to his feet.

He dusted himself off, releasing a huff of breath. "I told Remus and Peter they could come study with us if they wanted. Just so you know."

"All right," I said as we walked over to the fireplace. "Why does everyone decide that late night studying is the way to go? It is completely not. I like my sleep, I will have you know."

"Yes, and you like skipping out on your commitments." I punched his shoulder, and he scrunched his face up in a very non-composed manner. "What were you doing, anyways?"

"Talking to Lily," I said airily, taking his Charms book and flipping it open.

"About what?"

I shot him a look. "Well, that's awfully nosy."

He held his hands up. "Just wondering. Touchy subject?"

"No."

"Talking about _boys_?" He leaned forward to catch my eye, grinning cheekily.

I raised my eyebrows, straightening my expression. "Actually, we were."

"Howell?"

"No."

"James?"

"Mhm."

"Me too, then?"

"Yeah, sure."

"About what?"

I rolled my eyes, the corners of my mouth giving in to my amusement. "We were just talking about how we all met. Don't get too excited now. We weren't talking about your dazzling _eyes_ or your lovely _hair_." I made a swipe for his hair, but he dodged it, oblivious to my remark.

He seemed to be pondering. "How _did_ we meet?"

"Well, there was the Wuwah thing."

He growled. "You were so mean. I literally called you Wuwah for a week before I heard Professor Sprout call you Grace."

I giggled at the memory. "You were pretty mad."

"Isn't that how 'Gracie' came about?"

"Mhm. You were determined to annoy me, and you could tell I hated it, so you started calling me by it and told everyone else to call me it, too."

"And then it stuck. I'm a genius, eh?"

"Of course. The genius that got me my first detention in _Potions_ of all classes."

"No, that's not right. It was Transfiguration," he corrected, chin in his hand. Sirius had always had this hilarious pondering face, where his eyebrows knit together and his lips pouted, making him look like an irritated puppy. I would never dare mention it to him because he would have a fit, and besides, I liked the face. It was _him_, and quite honestly, it made me laugh to see him look so ridiculous. "And me and James walked up to you and Lily, and you started cursing us at the top of your lungs—"

"No," I said, cutting across him. "That's not right. You came up and started laughing in our faces, and then you walked away. And I looked over to Lily, and her eyebrows were turning green, and so I—"

"Shouted '_filthy mudbloods_' at the top of your lungs, yes, I remember that," he snorted.

"In my defense," I said, face flushing at the memory, "I really had no idea what it meant. I'd heard someone say it, and it sounded offensive."

"Oh, yes, that's completely acceptable. Just repeat whatever you hear, as loud as you can, so that the entire world can hear!"

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Well, I found out what it meant later."

He laughed. "Yeah, when you got a week's worth of detention for it."

"So did you and James, after I told McGonagall what you did to Lily," I pointed out.

"You used to be very stingy."

"You used to be very obnoxious."

He crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue.

"No, you're right," I said, correcting myself. "You still are very obnoxious."

His face broke into a ridiculous smile and he fell back onto the floor, kicking his legs up. "It's been a while since then, hasn't it?"

I hummed an agreement, attempting to direct my attention back to Charms.

"I think I'm going to write a book," he announced nonchalantly.

I scoffed. "Oh _right_. About what?"

"How I survived the terror of _Gracie Hachette_ for seven years!" he proclaimed.

"_Sirius!_" I screeched, aiming a punch at his knees, but he rolled over onto his stomach and dodged it, laughing wildly. He hopped up and looped an arm around my shoulders, giving my cheek a pinch.

"Sirius Black, do not touch me, you are a git—" I swatted at him, trying to wiggle out of his grasp, but he squeezed me into a bone crushing hug, ignoring my protests. I rubbed my cheek, hissing at him until he decided I would probably die of suffocation soon anyways, and let me go.

I grabbed my wand from my cloak pocket and pointed it at him threateningly.

His mouth dropped with feigned horror.

"Say 'just kidding' and beg for forgiveness, or I will really prove the terror that Gracie Hachette can be," I said, cackling like a haggardly witch.

He held his face as if he was trying to ward the amusement from his expression. "Really? What's Gracie Hachette going to do to me?"

I clenched my jaw menacingly. "Turn your eyebrows green!"

His hands immediately jumped to his eyebrows and a sharp gasped escaped his mouth. "_Noooo!_ Not my eyebrows! Not my precious babies!"

"Beg for forgiveness and they will be spared," I said coolly, jabbing his fingers with my wand.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Sirius sobbed. "Please forgive me, Gracie! How could I ever think that you were a terror?"

"That was out of character. You smiled." I lowered the wand to his chin. "Now you die."

"Do I get any last words?"

"Very well," I sighed. "Go on."

"I love you!"

I glowered at him.

"Isn't that effective? The best defense. How could you kill someone that's just said 'I love you'? Reckon you could even go against You-Know-Who with that—"

"DIEEEEE!" I screeched. "Bam bam bam!" I shoved him back onto the floor, and he let out a defeated scream, falling on his back melodramatically. Sirius had never watched muggle dramas, of course, but he was pretty good at this.

I stood and stepped on his chest with my foot, forcelessly of course, and threw my hands in the air triumphantly. "I am victorious! I have defeated the very great Sirius Bla—"

I met eyes with Remus across the room and froze, arms still suspended in the air, mouth agape. He stared and I stared. Peter walked up from behind him, flipping through a book, brows furrowed in frustration. "Remus, what chapter are summoning charms in?"

Remus didn't answer, and Peter turned his head up, looking annoyed, and then slowly followed the direction of Remus's stare. His beady eyes squinted in confusion. "What's Gracie doing? Is that Sirius on the…"

I lowered my arms, clapping my hands together. "I'm sorry you had to see this," I apologized, addressing the two of them nobly, and stepped off of Sirius. "I have just finished killing Mister Black. I do hope you weren't looking for him."

Remus released a resigned breath. "Well, sorry to disrupt. I was under the impression that you two were studying Charms."

"We were," I affirmed, "until I killed him." Sirius stirred as if to roll over, and I shot him a kick in the thigh.

Peter looked increasingly alarmed, but Remus had become nonchalant as if the situation was indeed normal. "That's inconvenient. I guess we'll just have to study with you instead then."

I nodded, seating myself, and gestured for the two to sit. Remus plopped down immediately, emerging himself in his textbook. "So, Peter and I were looking at summoning charms, and we didn't quite understand the third property—"

Remus went on as Peter walked over to the sofa, taking a step over Sirius's still body squeamishly with his right foot. He brought the left one over, just barely grazing the back of Sirius's shirt.

"AHHH-_YEEEEEEE!_"

Sirius had leaped up and grabbed Peter's ankle, belting out like a Banshee. Peter's eyes grew wide and his mouth fell open, limp, as he let out an ear-piercingly mouse-like squeal, stumbling towards on to the floor.

Remus and I had jumped at Sirius's outcry, but were now struggling for breath in eruptions of hysterical, uncontrollable laughter.

Peter clawed his way back up, but Sirius attacked him, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him, still expelling a deathly shriek.

"_AAHH-AHHHH-YEEEEEE-EEEEEHHH-AHHHH!_"

Peter was half hyperventilating, half screaming his arse off, and Sirius seemed to decide that the increasing pitch of Peter's squeal meant that he had done a fairly thorough job of frightening the boy out of his wits.

The screams died down and were replaced by a trail of laughter from Remus and I. Hot tears burned my eyes and I fell sideways in my chair, burying my face in the cushion to subside the laughter that ached my ribs.

"Bloody hell," Peter yelled, waddling back from Sirius on his hands, "I am never, ever studying with you or Gracie, _ever_—!"

* * *

_A/N: This chapter was too much fun to write. Sorry if I scared any of you with the title.. "I Killed Sirius Black"... hehehe. Sirius and Gracie are too insane, honestly. Also, I apologize if this seems rushed or haphazardly written.. well, it was, so I don't blame you if you noticed. Sorry about that, I just wanted to get it out finallyyyy because those few of you that have been reading have waited long enough, yeah? Chocolate frogs for reviewing! I stole them from Peter... heh heh. _


	10. Stroke of Midnight

_A/N: Just a quick note that this chapter is a bit darker than those of the past, and any of my light-hearted readers might want to take note of this. It's nothing TOO bad, I promise you'll be fine, but I thought it would be nice of me to give you a warning. _

* * *

_Chapter Ten_

**Stroke of Midnight**

I supposed Sirius had forgotten that we had just been officially banned from the library, because there was _far _too much stride in his step for someone that had just been yelled at by the very stern, cutting Madam Pince.

I had half the mind to remind him, so that maybe the memory might slow him down and I wouldn't have to jog to keep up with his pace, but I kept my jaw tight regardless.

He shot me a backwards glance, and let out a little agitated breath. My face was slack, and he must have been able to tell that I was bothered. "Gracie, it could have been worse. You know what James told me? That old bat actually threatened to hex him once."

I rolled my eyes, drawing my robes tighter around myself. "Let's just not tell Lily, yeah?

He visibly shivered, seeming to process her reaction. "Probably a good idea."

It hadn't really been my fault we'd been banned, not really. It was a temporary ban—until after Christmas break, so it wasn't that bad—but still, it wasn't _my_ fault. Sirius was the one that started chasing me, screaming like he was running from the very likes of You-Know-Who in his god forsaken underwear. It wasn't my fault that I screamed in response and ran away in the opposite direction as fast as I could, and it wasn't my fault that the book shelf happened to be in that very opposite direction.

I groaned aloud at the memory, rubbing the top of my head where a dozen books had spilled off the shelf and slapped me full force. If I had retained _any_ Charms in the short minutes we had been studying, it was most definitely gone now.

"Why do I even try to study with you, Sirius?"

He opened his mouth as if to answer, but then shut it, brows furrowed like he couldn't find the answer, either.

I sighed, turning away from him.

"Oh, I have it," he said quickly, jolting a bit in his steps.

I didn't have the energy to turn and meet his gaze. "Really? Do tell."

"You find me incredibly humorous," Sirius stated, very matter-of-factly, "annoyingly irresistible and—_wait for it_—enchantingly attractive!"

I choked on a laugh. "All I know is that I heard _annoying_ and I must agree."

He made a face at me, and I mocked it, crossing my eyes and sticking out my tongue. He gave a little chortle laugh in response and I relaxed my face, breathing out heavily.

"Oh, come on," he whined, pulling on my sleeve. "You're not mad, are you?"

"Of course not," I said, the words springing forward effortlessly.

I wasn't mad, not really, but sometimes I found myself wishing that Sirius could be a little more... well... _serious_. Yes, Sirius could be ridiculous and he could make me laugh until I felt like my insides would turn out, but he was completely unreliable to study with. I'd been trying to study with him for a week straight and we'd gotten practically nowhere. Sirius didn't seem to understand that I just didn't _get_ Charms like he did. He had a natural gift for things like that, and he didn't really _need_ to study ever, but _I_ did. My marks were, quite frankly, suffering a bit, and all of my attempts to improve them had ended up in vain.

I guess I couldn't completely blame Sirius for it, though it felt better to lay the blame on someone other than myself.

I walked beside Sirius in the dimly lit corridor, head pulsing with a kind of mellowed frustration. On top of everything, it was far too late for us to be roaming around and I was tired. We'd had an exam in Potions that morning and I'd been exhausted since. I felt like I was going to collapse right onto the floor.

I found myself vaguely wishing for Kenneth then. He definitely would have shut up if I'd said I wanted to study with him, rather than try to get a laugh out of me or scare me half to death. Kenneth understood diligence on a level that Sirius really just didn't find necessary. And that was perfectly fine, but it didn't help _me_ any.

"I wish you were a Ravenclaw," I said to him, almost without thinking. It was a bit of a joke, but not completely.

Sirius's face fell, only the slightest, but I noticed the way his mouth went firm immediately. "Ravenclaw? What's so special about Ravenclaw?"

"They're smart, obviously."

He eyed me, and I traced a bit of offense in his gaze. "So, what? I'm a moron?"

I wondered if my words had come out wrong, or if maybe my thoughts had just been wrong in the first place. "Of course you're not," I sighed. "You're bloody brilliant. But if you were a Ravenclaw, maybe I'd actually get something done once in a while."

He didn't reply for a moment, eyes turned towards the floor.

In this brief moment of silence, I was suddenly horrified by my own words. Why had I just said that? I'd never felt an inclination to be with Kenneth when I was with Sirius before, not like I sometimes felt for Sirius when I was with Kenneth. _Never_, I realized, and the first hint that I might actually prefer Kenneth, I had to go blow it up in Sirius's face and be rude about it. He'd only been being Sirius, and I knew he wasn't very dedicated to his studies, so why was I frustrated when I had no reason to hope otherwise?

He knew just what I'd meant by it, too. Or what I had accidentally meant, rather, because it was completely unintentional.

"So if I was Howell, it would be more convenient for you," he said flatly, no question about it.

His words hurt, and not because they were offensive, but because I had just dug myself into a deep, damn hole. "No, I don't mean it like that, I was just meant..." What? Just hoping you might magically turn into Kenneth so I wouldn't fail out of school? Hoping I could use you to help my marks? Hoping you would just _not_ be Sirius for a day, week, month maybe? I had no idea what I meant.

"You'd like me to be more like him, that's it?" Sirius asked, meeting me eyes rather daringly.

I parted my lips with the intention to answer, but I came up with nothing. That really had been what I was thinking, and it sounded even _more_ terrible when my thoughts were coming out of _his_ mouth.

His face flushed a slight red with indignation. "Should I join the Quidditch team, too? Maybe pack on a little more muscle, do my hair more like his, would that make you happy?"

I blinked quickly. "No, Sirius," I stammered out, "I didn't... I don't want you to be like that..."

"What, Gracie?" he breathed out. I imagined that he was a dragon for a moment, breathing fire, but he continued on and burned that image away. "What is it? Obviously you have something to say."

"I don't know," I murmured, and my thoughts were hitting me like flashes of lightning. I suddenly wasn't so sure it was just Sirius's studying that bothered me. It had to have been more than that, right? I wasn't getting so worked up over marks. "I don't know," I repeated, giving up, "just forget it, it's not impor—"

"Are you honestly about to say it's not important?"

I didn't answer.

"Look," he said, stopping in his tracks to steady his gaze with mine. "If I'm standing in the way between you and _Kenneth_"—I hated the way he said his name like that, like it was something disgusting—"then I'm dearly sorry, and I will make an effort not to let it happen again."

"That's really...that's not what I meant, Sirius," I said quickly. "It's not that big of a deal, at all, I'm sorry for—"

"No," he said, and he shook his head, not staying still long enough for me to see any more hurt in his eyes. "If you have something to say, then you should say it. You should have said it earlier. _I'm_ sorry. I should have realized you wanted to be—"

"Shut _up_, Sirius," I spit out, cutting him off instead. "I just meant the Ravenclaw thing as a joke. Okay? I'm just... I'm stressed, Sirius, really, really stressed." I brought my hand to my forehead, letting out a caged breath. "Just let it go."

He gave me a hard look, and then shrugged like he didn't believe a word I was saying. "Let's just get to bed. It's... late."

I nodded my head in agreement and locked my jaw tight. No more senseless things would be leaving my mouth, at least for tonight.

We continued walking in silence, and I was very grateful that we were getting closer to the common room because first of all, I was dead tired, like honest to goodness dead tired, and second, I hadn't ever felt more awkward being with Sirius. Ever, and he had practically witnessed all of my awkward stages from a pre-pubescent little girl to now.

What was wrong with my head that I had senselessly blurted out that I wanted Sirius to be more like Kenneth? What _was_ that?

I had honestly never thought of Sirius being different, never wished he'd be more like this or more like that, never imagined him in any other way than the way he just so naturally was. But the more I thought of him and the more I thought of Kenneth, the more I wished that Sirius could just settle down and think about things like Kenneth did. Kenneth was always seeing things in the greater picture, always planning ahead, always well prepared, always calm, always so controlled and so...

So not Sirius.

Oh, Merlin, he was the exact opposite of Sirius.

The poor bloke was honestly my best friend, sometimes even more so than Lily, and I just felt like I couldn't take that all the time. Where was the stability? I had none. I was always all over the place when I was with Sirius. We could never just have a normal day.

My mind might as well have been ready to blow up.

Suddenly, my face collided into Sirius's back and I squeaked like a mouse.

I was about to ask him why he'd stopped for no apparent reason in the middle of the hallway, when I just _happened_ to not be paying attention, but he turned around and pressed a finger to his lips. "_Shhh._"

I mouthed an apology, scooting closer to the wall. Lovely, there was a teacher. Banned from the library, and a detention on top of it... How could the night get any better?

But in a moment I heard what had stopped Sirius in his tracks, and it definitely was not a teacher that he was afraid of. My stomach lurched.

It was a scream.

I met Sirius's alarmed gaze with wide eyes, and clutched his arm without consideration. He laid his hand over my fingers, holding me in a kind of reassurance.

My mind was reeling. I couldn't think. The same two words kept coming to mind.

_Death Eaters..._

But how could they have made it into the school? That didn't make sense. But, regardless, it had been a scream, and that could only mean that something was _very_ wrong.

Sirius inched forward, pulling me along with him, and we both stole furtive glances around the corner.

What I saw was, in a sense, worse than I had imagined. Death Eaters would have been horrifying, of course, but this was twisted. Inexplicable almost. I _knew_ those faces. They were _students_, and there was a figure below them on the ground, in a completely broken and vulnerable position.

Avery and Mulciber. They were seventh year Slytherins, and they were crowded around the figure, speaking in raised, uncontrolled tones that could certainly not be mistaken for anything close to kind or compassionate.

"We can do whatever we want with you," Avery sneered, bending down close to the figure's face. "We can hide you _so_ easily."

Mulciber snickered in response, shooting the figure a swift kick in the ribs. The shrill yelp that resonated from the figure was most certainly a girl's.

"Who is she?" I whispered to Sirius.

He shook his head, unable to tear his eyes from the scene. He was about to pounce; I could feel it in his arm, the way it was so tightly tensed.

"He'll be proud of us," Mulciber egged on. "One less mudblood and the world's a better place, eh?"

Avery mumbled an agreement, so incredibly smug. My stomach twisted and my skin grew tight as he cackled. "Wouldn't hurt to hear the sorry little filth scream a little more..."

And before either Sirius or I could spring forward, a burst of light was ignited in the darkness and the girl was screaming in agony.

"_Stupefy!_" Sirius cried and leapt out from behind the corner. One of the boys fell back, and the girl's screams died down to a whimper.

The other boy—I couldn't see who with the light dimming on and off—raised his wand to curse Sirius, and I felt my heart drop. I pushed away from the wall and pointed my wand at the boy. "_Expelliarmus!_"

His wand clattered to the ground and the boy let out a sick, twisted laugh. "Oh, so there's two of you? Got a little army waiting for me, do you?" His voice drove my pulse so that it ached against my skin.

I recognized Avery and his sharp jaw, clenched menacingly at the two of us with our wands drawn at him. There was a pause where we all stared, wondering who dared to make the next move.

Mulciber crawled back to the scene and shot a spell over Sirius's shoulder, and in a moment the corridor was a mass of sparks flying from all directions. Sirius and I were sending and deflecting as many spells as we could think of. Avery scrambled to recollect his wand and a spark flew past me, cutting in so close to my face that it seared the skin on my cheek. I let out a short gasp of pain but I had no time to think and the pain was drowned in the explosion of color and power.

Sirius was hit suddenly, and hard; he flew back from me, into the darkness of the hallway.

"_Petrificus Totalus!_" I screamed, aiming my wand at Mulciber. His limps snapped together and he collapsed to the floor. Avery was momentarily distracted in a flurry over his partner's state, and I took it as my moment to dash to the girl.

Avery hissed, "Don't _touch_ her! She's _mine_—"

"_Stupefy!_" I screamed at him and fell beside the girl. I only had a few moments... I'd thought stunning spells lasted longer normally, but it seemed as if all of the spells we had been casting were relatively weaker than usual. Only a few moments before it was chaos again...

I stirred the girl gently, brushing her hair out of her face. I instantly recognized her and I felt a pang in my stomach. I should have known it would be her. "Mary," I gasped, taking note of her state. No blood. That was good; I probably couldn't handle blood right now. "Mary, can you hear me?"

She groaned a little. "Oh, Gracie," she said with a shudder that overtook her body and her words. "They were going to _kill_ me."

My face blanched, and I reached down to briefly stroke her cheek to comfort her. What had they done to her? "It's okay, Mary," I said, almost uncertain as to who I was actually reassuring. "You're okay. I won't let them near you. Okay? Do you hear me?"

She nodded, and my mouth was dry with panic. Avery was going to be up in a moment, and I was running out of feasible spells. I caught sight of Sirius climbing back to his feet, and I rose, too, but it was too late. I was too slow. Sirius was too slow.

Avery had beaten his way to me already. He was panting, right in my ear, down my neck. I froze, staring at Sirius with wide eyes as Avery came up from behind me and wrapped his arms around my shoulder, wand jabbing under my jaw.

"I _said_, Hachette, that she was _mine_... I _said_, not to _touch_ her..."

A small groan escaped my lips as he pressed against my windpipe and I was struggling for breath.

It was in the next few moments that all hell broke loose.

Avery had obviously performed the counter-curse on Mulciber when my back was turned, as he was now regaining his posture right as Sirius lunged forwards forward towards me.

I didn't know the spell that Mulciber sent flying towards Sirius. I had never seen it before in my life, nor had I ever read about anything like it. It was bright and massive, like a ferocious fireball, and as soon as it made contact with Sirius, he was lit with brilliant, billowing flames. He fell to the floor, screaming and writhing in pain.

"Sirius!" I screamed desperately, thrashing violently in Avery's hold, but it was pointless. He was so much stronger. The air was choking my lungs to a sob. "Stop! _Stop it!_ Sirius! _Sirius!_"

But neither boy had any intention of stopping, and the flames only grew and intensified. Avery's wand pressed deeper against my neck. I was struggling, screaming, crying, watching Sirius in agonizing pain, as a bright wand-yielding hand lifted itself from the flames and pointed itself at me.

There was a cross of flashes in that same moment: Avery fell backwards from me, right in the same moment as he had aimed a searing curse at my throat.

My hand jumped to the infliction immediately, and what I felt was very definitely blood. No mistaking it. I could not handle blood... My eyes were still on the twitching, tortured Sirius and I tried with everything I had to call out to him, but it wasn't enough. My words died with my lungs and I fell to my knees, choking and spluttering burning, acidic blood.

Sirius's brilliant and agonized image was branded into my mind and became all I could see.

* * *

_It broke my heart to write this chapter. Oh, dear.. Mary's going to be fine, if that's any consolation, teehee :) Thank you all as always for reading, and be sure to leave me a review and yell at me if you feel so inclined. I will give you chocolatey goodness regardless. _


	11. A Star, You Think?

_Chapter Eleven_

**A Star, You Think?**

"Sirius?"

My eyes fluttered open afterwards, and I stared blankly ahead, woken by the sound of my own voice. My mind was heavy and the light stabbed at my raw eyes. I flinched beneath its ferocity, letting a groan escape my parched lips. I shifted myself into something more like a sitting position, which proved difficult as half of my body felt dead numb. I searched around for something familiar, but I was squinting beneath the light and could only make out a head of blazing red hair, face concealed by a book.

"Lily?"

She jolted a bit in her seat, dropping her book in her lap. "Gracie!" she squeaked, rushing over and sitting herself by my feet. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," I answered, but my voice was hoarse and cracked painfully, saying quite clearly otherwise.

Lily summoned a glass, pointed her wand and filled it with water, and handed it to me. I wondered absentmindedly if I would have even thought of that, but the thought slipped my mind as I took the glass from her and downed it with loud, gracious gulps. I put the glass down and gasped for air. My mind was slowing kicking back into gear, though _very_ slowly at that.

"Did I say 'Sirius' when I woke up, or was that you?"

Lily leaned back on her palms nonchalantly. "You. You've been asking about him since yesterday; I almost stopped noticing."

"About Sirius? Since yesterday? What do you—" It seemed a little ridiculous, but it was only then that I noticed that the bed I was in was not my cozy, warm bed back in my dorm, but a stiff cot in the Hospital Wing. The night flashed before my eyes and my heart sped uncomfortably. "Oh, God! Mary! How is—"

"Shh," Lily said suddenly, placing her hand on mine. "You're still recovering. Calm down before you hurt yourself. Mary's fine. She just had a broken rib and a few bruises, but Madam Pomfrey fixed her up in a minute. _Magical_, I tell you." She gave a little teasing smile but I could hardly be reassured.

"And what about—"

"Yes, yes, Sirius, I know by now," she said, sighing, though still visibly amused by my concern. She glanced over her shoulder and I followed her gaze towards a cot across from mine, where a limp figure resided. "He's going to be okay, too. Major burns, scary almost... but it shouldn't scar, at least, not too much. He just, ah... well, it was mostly his arms and chest, and some of his hair."

I rubbed my chin frantically and bit my knuckle to force myself to calm down. "I kept asking about him?"

"You don't remember?"

I shook my head slowly, still gazing at Sirius's sleeping figure.

"Kenneth came to see you," Lily said.

My eyes darted back to her.

"You woke up and asked him if Sirius was okay."

I groaned, suddenly defensive and reproachful. "That's not even fair. I don't even _remember_ that."

She shrugged. "He didn't really mind. Not too much, at least."

I sunk a little in my bed. "How did I get here, anyways? Who found us?"

"Apparently, the portraits woke up to screaming," Lily said, her pitch descending considerably. "Filch went nutters about _students in the corridors_, and got Dumbledore. And then, well, they found you three."

"Three? What about Avery and Mulciber?"

"Mary told him what happened, but they weren't there when Dumbledore got there, so for now, the teachers are saying there's not enough proof—"

"No _proof?_" I suddenly couldn't breathe. My throat burned with anger and my head pounded. "I'm in the damn Hospital Wing, for Merlin's sake!"

Lily hushed me immediately. "Shh, Gracie. You're not in any kind of condition to be getting so worked up. Madam Pomfrey told me that the curse just _hardly_ missed your jugular vein."

"My what?"

"In your neck. In other words," Lily said, face solemn, "if it had hit the vein, you could very well be dead right now."

I stared at my hands, letting silence fall over the two of us for a moment. "Sirius stunned Avery," I said, and raised my fingers gently to my throat. "And he fell back. He didn't have a good shot of my... throat then." I felt the raised skin along my neck; it was ridged like a scar, but it stung at my touch and I winced. "_That's_ not enough proof?"

Lily let out a little breath. "Some of the teachers think that one of you attacked the other two."

"_What?_"

"Yeah, you'll... probably need to see McGonagall when you're better."

"But, _Lily!_ That's idiotic! How thick do they get? I wouldn't—_Sirius_ wouldn't—" But the words I wanted to say couldn't find their way to my mouth, and the image of Sirius in flames sent furious and fearful trembles down my spine.

"No, I believe you," Lily assured, "and so do the other students. Well, except the Slytherins, of course, but they don't count. It's just... Gracie, you were the only ones there."

"This can't be happening. You have to be kidding."

"I don't know, Gracie. You should sleep—"

"Avery and Mulciber aren't even going to be _punished?_" I cried.

"I...maybe. Gracie, sleep, before you hurt yourself. Madam Pomfrey said that the area is going to take longer to heal magically because it's in a tender spot. You need sleep... you've been through a lot. Okay?"

I felt like sobbing or vomiting or dying or screaming, or something of similar consequence, but I bit my lips together instead. I took a hard look at Lily and then at Sirius, and let myself fall back under the sheets in defeat.

* * *

Remus slipped me a smile, and I managed to give him something of a smile in return before I nose-dived back into my textbook. There was a clatter of noise around me, but it didn't affect me; I could finally focus. I was desperate for a distraction from my thoughts, and studying seemed to be a good fix.

Remus had been all too friendly lately, though, and I was beginning to feel guilty for disregarding his attempts to cheer me up all day.

I just had absolutely no energy. It had nothing to do with sleep; I'd gotten plenty of that in the Hospital Wing, and probably wouldn't need to sleep for months with all the rest I'd caught up on.

No, I was just worried. Worrying incessantly, needlessly, as Lily was keen to remind me, and I was unable to maintain a smile because it was too much effort. My worry was draining all my emotion.

"Gracie?"

I raised my eyes, albeit grudgingly.

"I know that you're not really—" Remus stopped, pressed his lips into a firm line, and started over. "I don't want to push you or anything, but do you think you could chop the aconite? You're loads better at chopping, I always end up slicing my hands—"

My face flushed, and I threw my book down. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Remus," I muttered quickly, getting up from my seat. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I ask to be your partner and then I let you do everything." I frowned, eyeing the materials. "You want me to chop the aconite?"

He slid the board towards me. "Please," he said, eyes gentle.

I nodded, taking a deep breath, and took the blade to the board, working away at the aconite. We worked in silence, aside from the sound of the bubbling potion and the knife slicing through the aconite leaves.

"You know," Remus started softly, and I handed him the leaves to drop into the potion, "Sirius is going to be fine. He'll be back tomorrow."

I kept my eyes lowered to my task. "I know. Madam Pomfrey told me."

"Why don't you go see him later tonight? Since you're so worried."

I passed more leaves to him, and he stirred them into the cauldron, gaze set on me. He was becoming adamant to get me out of my mood, and I found that I couldn't look away this time.

I blew out a breath, setting the blade down on the table. "I could."

"You could bring him pretty flowers. Pink."

"_Remus_," I laughed.

"Yes! Progress," he cheered, bumping my shoulder with his fist.

I gave him a real smile then, shaking my head, and took the blade back to finish chopping the aconite. Peter scurried over to us, flustered and ranting on about Lucy O'Daley, and Remus proceeded to poke fun at him, asking why he didn't just get down on his knees and propose already.

My mind wandered from their conversation and my eyes roamed the classroom aimlessly, where I caught Kenneth's gaze from the opposite side of the room.

My stomach did a funny kind of flip and I quickly averted my gaze, fumbling about with my textbook desperately so that I could pretend as if I was occupied and could be doing anything, anything at all, other than smiling or even in the very least acknowledging Kenneth Howell's existence.

* * *

It was certainly far too late to be wandering about, but I'd had 5 inches of a Transfiguration essay left to write and Peter had begged me to help him with his own. I'd only just managed to wiggle free from his grasp and it was well past curfew. My body seemed to remind me that I'd been in a similar situation only a few nights before; the dark corridors were all too familiar, all too daunting, and on top of that, no matter how hard I attempted to push myself, my legs were exhausted and longed for the bed I'd spent two days in prior.

But none of that mattered because I was going mad without Sirius and I was _going_ to see him, whether my bloody legs liked it or not.

I pushed my way through the doors, eyes darting about for Sirius's cot, and I stopped in my tracks as I found that there was someone already beside him. The person turned at my entrance, and I had half a mind to wonder if it was Madam Pomfrey and if she was about to scold me for sneaking out, but it was a boy.

I met his fleeting gaze, and he seemed to spring upwards, gathering himself together and started as if he was to leave.

"No, I didn't mean to kick you out," I said hurriedly, positively swimming in confusion, but the boy only shook his head, and made his way past me. "Wait! But—"

The boy turned back, returning a hard gaze, and I went still.

For a moment, I could have sworn it was Sirius.

"Regulus?"

His eyes wavered, and he moved his head slightly, a nod. "Grace."

I'd hardly ever spoken to Sirius about his brother, and I'd _spoken_ to his brother even less than that. I vaguely remembered a conversation we'd had sometime in second year, when Sirius had something of a relationship with him still.

"How are you?" I blurted out, unable to contain myself. Even though Sirius and I tended to stray from the topic, I knew from Lily that Sirius had left home last year, and Regulus was alone then with his blood-crazed parents.

"I'm fine. How are you?" he asked in return, voice stiff as a board with politeness. "I heard about the accident."

I nearly scoffed—_accident_, they were calling it now?—but I was too caught up in the oddness of the current situation to mind.

"Better," I decided, ringing my hands together. "You should stay—until Sirius is awake. I'm sure he'll wake up soon."

Regulus shook his head fervently, turning from me slightly. "Probably best I didn't."

I stared, mouth falling open, but I couldn't find the words I needed to convince him. "Are you sure?"

He nodded.

I settled for, "I'll tell him you came by."

He swished his head side to side. "Probably best you didn't."

"But, Regulus, he'd want to know—"

"Goodnight, Grace."

Any arguments or protests I could have summoned were suddenly useless. He turned and left, leaving me standing there, mind blank. The doors slammed shut behind him, driving an echo through the room.

I blinked quickly, swiveling in my spot, and cautiously glimpsed towards the spot where Sirius lay. Bright, grey eyes shone through the darkness, closing and opening frantically.

"Gracie?"

Warmth spread throughout my chest at the sound of his voice, and Regulus fell from my mind. I dashed over to his side, my mind a sudden blur. The ache in my body had vanished, and was replaced with a hot, overwhelming pulse.

"_Sirius!_"

And I couldn't control myself. I flung my arms around his neck, pressed my face into his robes, and cried. Bittersweet tears burned my eyes.

"Gracie? Merlin, what's the matter? I reckoned it was about time you couldn't hide your insanity any longer, but I didn't expect you'd be releasing the Atlantic Ocean on me while at it..."

"Shut up," I murmured, picking myself up, and wiped my face on my sleeve. "You bloody git! L-look at you! You're..." I took his hand, scrutinizing it, then breathed out heavily and dropped it. "Well, you're better now. But that's not the point! You were—"

He re-positioned himself in his cot, raising himself higher. "A star, you think?"

I rubbed my eyes. "What?"

"I was a star," he repeated, raising his arms dramatically. "Brilliant, beautiful! Radiant!"

He was referencing being on fire, of course, and I nearly choked.

"Well," Sirius said, sighing, "it's about time I lived up to my name. I wasn't named after the brightest star in Canis Major for nothing, you know."

I cursed at him under my breath, and he snickered.

"Wait." He sobered instantly. "Let me see you."

I raised my eyebrows.

He gestured for me to move closer, and so I did so; his eyes traced my face, and he ran a finger over the gash on my cheek. "Does that hurt still?"

I shook my head. I'd nearly forgotten it was there. It was only when I looked in the mirror and found a war-beaten witch staring back at me that I remembered. Well, perhaps it wasn't _that_ bad, but it certainly wasn't pretty.

His gaze lowered to my neck, and he tensed. "What about that?"

"A bit," I admitted, and shrugged. "Not as bad as your burns."

"Can't feel a thing, actually."

I laughed. "That's because you haven't tried to move yet."

He fell back onto his pillow. "I'll survive."

"You better," I told him. "Or I'll kill you."

He growled at me, and I growled back. He repeated the growl, hiding low, guttural sounds, and barred his teeth like a dog. I smacked him on the shoulder, and he howled in pain. I apologized immediately but he was all howls, barks, and growls, and the scene was so ridiculous that I couldn't restrain my eruption of laughter. Every attempt to cut him off, he'd grow louder, until I had to threaten to _silencio_ him before Madam Pomfrey came out and got onto my case for being out after curfew.

"I'll just hide you if she comes, then," he decided aloud, and shifted over in his spot to make room for me. He pat the empty spot beside him and I wiggled my way in without questioning it.

I definitely was not cuddling him, though we were fairly close, but I made a point to put some feasible distance between us that indicated _friendliness_. At least, I convinced myself that was what it was, and Sirius continued to talk as if it hadn't affected him at all.

We spoke aimlessly in soft whispers, staring up at the tall ceiling, for Merlin knows how long. The conversation likely didn't make much sense, and with the state of our minds, I didn't really think twice about it.

"You know there's another Quidditch game coming up?" Sirius said out of nowhere, certainly straying from the topic we were on, whatever that might have been.

I hummed a noise of surprise. "Who's playing?"

"Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. You reckon Kenny will get lucky again?"

"_Kenny?_"

"What? You don't like it?"

"You're a dudder," I muttered in exhaustion.

"I thought it was quite an endearing nickname for the bloke."

I snorted. "Oh, certainly."

"You think he'll like it?"

"Doubt it."

"Oh," Sirius said, and I glanced over at him as he frowned with feigned disappointment.

I rolled my eyes, turning away. "Dudder, I tell you."

"I'll help you with your costume," Sirius offered.

"Costume? Sirius, honestly, what are you going on about? Was your mind affected?"

"I'll help you dress up as an eagle, so you can fit in at the Ravenclaw match. You'll look marvelous, I assure you."

I groaned.

"Kenny will love it!" he exclaimed, and I shoved him in the side.

"I quite honestly don't want to think about _Kenny_ at the moment," I sighed, burying my face in Sirius's pillow.

"Why not?"

I shrugged, rolling on my side to face him. "I just don't really care to see him. He tried talking to me after Potions..." I trailed off at the memory.

"What happened? Did he upset you? Should I hex him for you?"

"Don't sound so eager," I mumbled, though without force. Sleep was trickling into my voice. "I just told him I had to get to class, and I ran off."

"Oh. I was imagining something a bit worse."

"Well." My cheeks flushed. "I really...literally...ran."

"You _ran_?"

I ground my teeth together. "I really didn't want to talk."

Sirius laid still for a moment as if processing the image in his mind, and then proceeded to laugh uncontrollably for _far_ too long.

I exhaled loudly and he hiccupped broken breaths to calm himself from his hysterics.

"He's probably not cut out for you, anyways," Sirius said, finally sobering.

"What do you mean?"

"Not the best match for you. I mean, _really_," he said emphatically, "if you were with Kenny all the time, you'd never have time for your best mate! And where would you be without me?"

"Probably sane, at least," I muttered, and even in my drowsiness, I felt something sharp in my chest at his words. I didn't care to attend to what it might have been, and instead pulled at Sirius's hair, tugging at the shortened ends. Madam Pomfrey had trimmed the singed bits, and he'd lost a good two or three inches.

His expression fell. "I _know_," he moaned. "It's so _short_. I can't believe it. I don't know what I'm going to do."

I couldn't see it very well in the dark, but I couldn't imagine that it looked too terrible. "Sleep," I suggested. "That's what you should do."

I reckoned we were both fairly deranged at that point, and Sirius complied with my suggestion without a single protest. It was if I'd hit a switch; he nodded his head and curled up, tucking his arms under his head, closed his eyes, and his breathing soon fell into a steady, soft pattern.

I lay there for a few more moments, waiting to make sure that he was really asleep, and moved to roll out of his cot. I stood and straightened my robes, letting a little yawn escape my lips, and stretched my arms over my head.

The room was so calm, with the moonlight spilling in through the windows and the sound of Sirius's breathing, pneumatic and gentle like air. I couldn't help but feel content and overwhelmingly grateful, so overwhelming, in fact, that I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead without a thought.

* * *

_Love does not die easily. It is a living thing. It thrives in the face of all of life's hazards, save one: neglect. -Andrew Carnegie_

* * *

_A/N: Muchas gracias for reading, lovelies! I'm getting into a fairly regular pattern of an update every weekend, I think. I'll try to have out a new chapter every Sunday, at least. Try. You never know when it comes to things like this.  
Anyways, this chapter just including some major things I needed to address, like Regulus's existence. I think people forget about him a lot in their stories, and I felt the need to at least include him once. I haven't decided if he'll ever show up again. And, also, Gracie's friendship with Remus is pretty important - especially for future chapters, though I think those are probably pretty far out of the way.  
And that's about it. Thank you again and feel free to leave a review... poor little Sirius is feeling deprived._


	12. Whale Calls of Denial

_Chapter Twelve_

**Whale Calls of Denial**

If there was anything I was quite talented at, it was exaggerating things to the umpteenth degree until my mind sprinted out of control and hit a wall. With my pulsing head, it certainly _felt_ like I'd hit a wall, anyway.

My heart hammered in my chest and my limbs felt heavy and numb like I'd drunk myself into oblivion. Which I hadn't. I'd only kissed Sirius. Friendly kiss. The forehead, after all, is a perfectly safe, friendly kissing zone and it was in no way crossing any kind of boundary. He wasn't even awake. It was fine.

But a thought nagged at my mind, suggesting that my lips had been in far too much of proximity to his.

My mind battled against the thoughts, and I attempted to visualize myself charging at an angry army of trolls with a spear, hollering and yodeling at the top of my lungs. That thought, though, probably was a little _too_ distracting. The feeling of soft lips brushing against my cheek brought me back to the surface and I was reminded of the warm arms encasing me in a reality that was suddenly all too vivid.

I'd almost blurted out, "Oh, yeah, forgot you were here!" but kept my tongue. Thank Merlin I'd been blessed with some sort of social instinct. "Kenneth," I said instead, shaping my mouth into my best attempt at a smile. His eyes poured into mine and a familiar fuzzy feeling filled my stomach, making me a bit woozy on my feet.

I gripped his fingers for balance, passing it off as an affectionate gesture, and allowed myself a few moments to stabilize.

Kenneth was quite the charmer, I forced myself to admit after the wave of violent electricity passed. I certainly had liked kissing him, too, in the few times that I had, but as the swooping calm wrapped around me, I couldn't help but think that it hadn't really meant anything indefinitely. It was a not-right-but-not-wrong kind of feeling, and that made it more numb than anything else.

He was perfect in a million ways and I almost felt ashamed for not appreciating his deep eyes or golden hair as much as I could have. But those things only held a temporary effect, as all appearances did eventually, and I found myself hitting another wall.

Though there was something else. I hardly dared to admit it, but there was something else that drove me from Kenneth, a little bud of a thought, an idea in my mind that threatened to attack all of my control.

But that was trivial, inconsequential, and I could not dwell on it. Would not, rather. Especially because Kenneth was so close to me and beckoning me with those damn eyes. But I couldn't.

"How are you?" he asked finally, stirring me from my cloud of thoughts. I studied his face, taking in the sight of the strain and composure in his features, wondering absentmindedly if those lines around his eyes had been there before and if I'd had anything to do with them. "You and Sirius?" he added.

I choked loudly, unable to repress the deathly color and heat that burned at my cheeks. "Me and Sirius? What do you mean?"

His eyebrows arched, and in a quick flash I realized I'd made too quick of a judgment. My expression fell, and I stammered in a fluster to correct myself.

"I mean—no—I'm good, I'm alive and so is—so is, um, Sirius."

Oh, Merlin.

A hint of mirth passed his eyes for a moment, as if he was saying, _'I'm alive?' Well thank goodness, too. I'd have had a conniption fit if I found myself talking to your ghost!_ He hadn't said anything of the sort, though, just nodded his head subtly with his gaze wandering from me for a moment. "I'm glad you're okay. Mighty good at living up to that Gryffindor name, yeah?"

I shrugged, but found that my response really wasn't necessary. He spoke again as if I hadn't responded at all and the question had been poised on his tongue the entire time.

"So, Black then, eh?"

This time I was overly hesitant, staring at him for an explanation before I blurted out any other morbidly embarrassing things.

Kenneth appeared slightly pained, but concealed it in a quick moment, and I wondered if I'd just imagined it. "How do you feel about us?" he asked. "You and me."

I scratched my forehead, teetering a bit on my feet. I wracked my brain for a feasible, honest answer, but I was drawing a blank. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I guess now's a rotten time to bring this up," he said sourly, shifting slightly away, visibly uncomfortable. "But I've been meaning to ask you… about all of this. You and me, you know? I know I've told you I fancy you, but we've never really…" He held my gaze, biting his lip, and breathed outwards with resignation. "Discussed it."

This was not the sort of conversation boys enjoyed having, I decided internally. Hell, I didn't even like it.

"Just want to know if I'm wasting my time," he said, tone softening, placating me from my own discomfort. "What do you think?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "Right now, I don't think I can't take anything really… serious." The serious-Sirius pun stung harshly in my mind but I quickly attempted to disregard it as he was not someone I needed in my thoughts at a moment like this.

Kenneth nodded, face still slack and cool, almost as if he'd expected the reaction. "And then there's Black."

I grew tense again, desperately wishing to flee the scene. There, that was it, I'd said it, I'd said all I needed to and now I was done with all of this, wasn't I? We didn't need to venture into any other topics.

"Do you fancy him?"

It was an innocent question, but I couldn't help but want to bite his head off. I sighed, digging my nails into my palm. "No," I answered automatically, an instinctive answer that had always been true as long as I'd ever known Sirius. He was my best friend—I'd always considered him to be like a girl, really—and no one had ever questioned our friendship. Not until Kenneth came along. I'd never questioned it myself. Not until Kenneth came along. I thought about his question, and wondered if my automatic answer really did it justice. I didn't _fancy_ Sirius; fancying reminded me of frills and girlish giggles accompanied with candy hearts and magical chocolate scented roses. And love poems and kissing and pretty pink dresses and candlelight dinners and everything that was so not Sirius and me. But maybe that's not what he meant at all. Maybe he'd just meant to ask how I felt about Sirius, whether it was on the grounds of really seeing him as a literal girl or as appreciating him for the good old bloke he was. Or maybe it was more complex than that.

But the longer I thought about it, the longer I realized our friendship had grown increasingly complex over the last couple of months. I could see him burning in front of me again and I felt the rabid loss of sense and control crawl its way up my back. It was worse than anything I'd ever felt, seeing him like that and unable to reach out to him, watching him squirm and writhe before me. The effect was immeasurable; sure, I would have reacted similarly if it'd been anyone but him, but the fact that it was him had stabbed at my control and made me incapable of functioning. If it'd ended any worse, I would have been driven blind with insanity. Just the thought of his laugh, his smile, his grey eyes all erupting into flames lodged a cry in my throat.

And so I opened my mouth, correcting my answer with a simple, "I don't know."

* * *

"You're late!"

Sirius huffed, flattening out stray strands of hair idly. "You act as if I've missed our wedding. Calm down."

"I've been waiting for you for fifteen minutes. You said two," I growled.

"My point exactly. What's the rush? It's just McGonagall."

I scowled, stringing him along the corridor. "When you do get married, Sirius, I am personally going to assure that you are not late for your own wedding. I will barge into your dressing room and drag you out half-naked if I need to."

He laughed loudly at the image. "Does that imply that I'll be without my shirt or without my pants?"

I shot him a look and he held up his hands defensively.

We arrived at McGonagall's office minutes later and I paused, staring at the slight crack in the door. The sound of our approaching footsteps was met with the door swinging completely open, revealing a disheveled and exhausted looking professor behind it.

"Ah, there you are," she said, her eyes more stern than usual. "Mr. Black, come in and sit down please. Miss Hachette, I'll attend to you afterwards. If you would patiently wait outside."

I nodded, as there was no way I could feasibly object. Sirius shot me a fleeting glance and I returned a reassuring smile. I wanted to tease him about his sudden anxiety but Professor McGonagall whisked him away and I was alone.

The door closed and silence followed the sound of the knob locking into place. I leaned against the wall, eyes absentmindedly tracing the patterns of the rug on the floor. I sucked in a breath and felt my mind wander far from the corridor.

Kenneth's eyes floated past my closed lids and I ushered the image away. It wasn't difficult to push him from my mind. Sirius, on the other hand, was as difficult as anything. He took grasp of my mind like a Sticking Charm and wouldn't let go for all of the world. That bloody stubborn dog.

I thought for a moment on Kenneth's question. Did I fancy Sirius? No, I'd told him right away. I don't know, I'd said after. Maybe, is what I had meant. Could he see it? I hoped he hadn't. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have explored the idea at all. That bugger.

What did fancying mean, anyways? It was far too silly a word for feelings that were far too complex to analyze in terms of a _fancy_. Fancying always seemed to trail the borders of physical appearance. Yes, I let myself admit, Sirius was attractive. Not that I'd ever dwelled on the thought, but sometimes he would shoot me a grin and I would stare in wonder at how he could possess such a handsome jaw. Honestly, how could a jaw be so attractive? It was perplexingly odd. But his was chiseled and defined, smooth and pristine, all the bones and structure visible beneath his skin when he was tense. And then there were his eyes, glassy grey orbs that had far too much sparkle when rules were broken. A sharp nose, thin lips, straight brows. And his casual air that topped it all off, making him completely and fully Sirius.

I scowled at the distracting presence of his appearance in my mind. Sure, he was good looking. Graceful, really, and even the thought of him proved to be, as he strode through my mind effortlessly. But beyond looks, beyond that strangely attractive jaw, Sirius was far more complex. So much so that I didn't even know how to approach the mere idea.

Sirius had had his fair share of girlfriends. It seemed as if he'd grown out of his poor habit of picking from the lot, though, as I couldn't remember a girl hanging on his arm over the last couple of months. Yes, there was one, a shy Hufflepuff girl that James had persuaded him into asking to Hogsmeade. It was mostly due to the fact that James had needed someone to ensure he did not terribly ruin his date with Lily, and I was otherwise unavailable and off with Kenneth somewhere. But that girl hadn't stuck around with Sirius for longer than that day.

What did I really know about fancying, anyhow? Before Kenneth, I'd had a few mild crushes, a few dates, a few meaningless snogs, all very inconsequential. None of it had seemed to maintain a very lasting effect on me.

I thought instead of how James had fawned over Lily since first year. The way she'd piqued his interests, held his attention for seven long years, until she finally gave in and allowed him a chance. She'd always been strikingly beautiful, even just at eleven. But that wasn't why James had taken such a liking to her, was it? Perhaps that had driven him initially, but looks couldn't possibly have held such a sincere interest for seven years. If that had been the case, he could have found another girl of adequate beauty and been perfectly content with her. Lily was pretty, of course, but realistically speaking, there were definitely girls just as attractive. But James had been adamant and relentless. He refused to back down, as much as it had visibly irritated Lily, until finally the mark of her nature had affected James and reworked the lining of his mind.

He'd changed for her, though subtly. It was him as he'd always been, but with an increase of responsibility that had come with adoration and maturity. That was the extent of his fancying.

So _certainly_ that meant I couldn't possibly be interested in Sirius in that odd, obsessive way. I _certainly_ had never changed for him.

But then I reminded myself that James hadn't really changed, either. He was still the same restless deviant, same air-headed Quidditch hero. He'd just learned how to control it.

There went that theory.

I drew a long breath and closed my eyes for the longest time, mind flitting from the miscellaneous thoughts of Sirius and James and Lily and Kenneth and even for some reason back to my parents, to myself as a child, to my old muggle school, to the playground and my muggle friends…

I stood there, swimming in my thoughts for what felt like forever, until the door swung open on strident hinges and launched me from my mind. I'd hardly realized how long it'd been until the piercing gaze of Sirius's eyes reformed in front of me, staring with a mingled curiosity and amusement.

"You there, Gracie?"

I blinked quickly, regathering my breath, and composed my face. "Oh, shut up," I said, but it did not contain his mirth. "How'd it go?"

He gave a little shrug. "You can be the judge." He beckoned me through the door emphatically, grinning wildly. "Go ahead. Enjoy yourself."

I rolled my eyes, making sure to give him a much deserved shove. "This is supposed to be a serious discussion, Mr. Black, and I would implore you to take it very seriously."

"As seriously as I can," he replied with a tactful wink.

I smiled, shaking my head dismissively, and turned from him into the room where Professor McGonagall was waiting patiently. I took a seat before she could request I do so.

"Miss Hachette, I find this really tedious to go over again," she said, peering over her glasses to look at me. "So if you'd please briefly explain what happened two nights ago and you may happily be on your way."

I raised my eyebrows, straightening my back. "Then you won't have me sent to Azkaban for my supposed misconduct? No Dementor's kiss?"

McGongall's lips pressed firmly into a thin line and her eyes strained to maintain her sternness. My attempt at humor went unrewarded. "Unless your action deem themselves worthy, no. Get on with it then."

"I've heard Dementors can't hardly kiss at all, anyway," I commented quickly, dodging a harsh look, and dived into the explanation of what'd happened that night in the dark corridor. I kept mind to skip over the detail of our late night wandering, though it was obvious, but she paid no attention to it and instead focused her attention on the heart of the tale, Mary MacDonald's torturing. She didn't appear surprised, as if was no doubt the third time she'd been told, though she did appear to be just as disturbed as if it was fresh and raw in her mind. I finished swiftly by retelling seeing Sirius burning before me, and I paused at the pain of the memory, before recalling the searing feeling at my throat and descending into an empty blackness.

She was silent for a moment, processing, and nodded her head. "Very well. It seems as if your stories add up," McGonagall stated without further question. "Though I had no trouble believing it. How anyone could think a group of Gryffindors would ever attack each other in the middle of the night." She shook her head, sighing, and went on. "I'll let Professor Dumbledore know and the situation with Avery and Mulciber will be determined shortly. You may be on your way now."

I beamed, rising from my seat. "Thank you, Professor! You always were my favorite, you know."

She allowed something of a smile to pass her lips and she ushered me out with a wave of her hands. "Go on, Hachette."

I thanked her and skipped happily from the office, a thousand ton weight lifted from my chest. The effect was immediate and I was overflowing with bliss. Sirius was suddenly there, and I felt an electric current pulse from my fingertips. "Oh, you waited!"

"Mhm," he mumbled, raising his eyebrows at my skip. "How was it then?"

"Fantastic!" I was inexplicably joyful and ran to him, jumping in his arms with an uncontrollable, gleeful giggle. I felt like such a child but McGonagall's clearance had given me such a light and elated feeling that I was unable to restrain it.

He caught me easily, laughing at my lack of composure, and spun me around for a moment before lacing an arm over my shoulders as we walked.

My heart raced with exhilaration and content at the feeling of his arm around me. No, it was the moment, not solely him. It was a surge of friendly happiness. Nothing more than that.

Oh, for Merlin's sake, what did it matter? It didn't, not at all. I was there with him, regardless of any fickle fancying. What mattered was that we were both okay, that everything was okay.

* * *

I felt like screaming. And so I did, loud and releasing into my pillow, sounding distinctly savage-like and wild.

Lily was giggling, seemingly unperturbed by my distress, instead stroking my head and sighing happily. "You really are overreacting, you know. It's a perfectly harmless thing."

I lifted my head from my pillow and breathed a sharp intake of air. "No! I can't! This is stupid! Ridiculous! Bullocks to it all!" I threw my pillow at the wall, wishing it might burst into flames or at least into a cloud of feathers. It did neither, falling instead at the head of my four-posted with a dull thud.

"Bullocks." She rolled her eyes, still giggling. "I can't believe I didn't see it either. It's so obvious, isn't it? That's why you were avoiding Kenneth! Oh, he must be a mess." She frowned suddenly at the mention.

"You think so? I tried letting him down gently," I said.

"Probably, but his pride's just been hurt. He'll recover eventually." She gave me a full smile and nudged my elbow. "So. _Sirius_." She waggled her eyebrows.

"Shh!" I waved her away frantically, turning in my bed as not to face her, and she climbed back over to me, hugging me around the neck.

"Come on, you admitted it for a fraction of a second and then you took it back as fast as it came."

I met her gaze daringly.

"You're nuts over him, Gracie. No use denying it." She dropped her arms and moved back from me, sizing up my reaction.

I pressed my lips together. "Well, what if I do? Won't that be awkward?"

She shrugged. "No. He doesn't even have to know."

I let that thought sink in. Right, that was the most intelligent approach, of course it was. It was a little one-sided infatuation of utterly no consequence.

"Though, I think you should tell him."

I turned and stared at her as if she was growing an ear between her eyes.

"Gracie! You're just going to sit here, madly in love with him, and not say _anything_ about it at all? Ever?"

I growled. "I am not _madly in love_… I tell you one thing, and there you go, leaping to conclusions…"

"But, still! This isn't just nothing, Gracie." She stared at me seriously.

"It could ruin everything, Lily!" I threw my head backwards onto my pillow and loud, continuous guttural groan. "_Nooooooooooooo…_"

"Gracie, you are so melodramatic. You act as if this is the apocalypse."

I refused to listen and stuffed my face back into the pillow, the long "nooo" muffled and sounding more like a whale call.

I heard one of the other girls in the dorm enter and Lily nudged me to shut up, but I couldn't.

"She failed a Potion exam," she said lamely, patting my head.

I drew the sound out as long as I could until my lungs were so dry I couldn't handle it. I rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling.

I couldn't believe I'd admitted it. This was so wrong.

* * *

**A/N: **All right, forget whatever "pattern" I thought I had down, I'm obviously incapable of being consistent. Apologies for a late-ish update, but I hope this was satisfying enough! I've been working on a couple of other things, including a Sirius/Lily series of one-shots, so I've been writing nonstop and the whole Sirius/Lily thing is confusing me with this one. Teehee, but no worries. And yes, KENNETH IS FINALLY GONE! Well, for the most part. Thanks very much for reading and a BIG thank you to everyone for the amount of favorites and alerting; the happiness it brings to me is overwhelming. And of course, and even bigger thank you to those who have reviewed. Can't thank you all enough!


	13. A Flawed Plan

_Chapter Thirteen_

**A Flawed Plan**

The plan was, essentially, to avoid Sirius at all costs.

Staying out of a good ten yard radius would be effective, I rationalized, and if I managed to keep it up, thinking about him would be pointless and I would quickly forget about any wisps of feelings that leaned towards... well, towards that certain _topic_ that made my stomach twist uneasily.

The plan also entailed Remus.

I dropped my books down on the desk top with a thud, and his eyes rose to meet mine slowly. "Oh, hullo Gracie," Remus greeted, a bit sluggish if anything.

Remus had always been a good friend of mine, closest maybe after Lily and Sirius, but now I found our friendship increasingly important in carrying out the plan without gaping flaws. I would just get closer to Remus.

Not physically. Just _emotionally_. In a friendly way. Strictly friendly.

And that's all it took for me to see the already gaping flaw in my plan. I groaned.

"What's wrong?"

I turned towards him with a start and blinked. "Oh, woops. Sorry, train of thought hit a bump."

"Hm." He stared at me for a moment, and then turned to open his book and flipped through the pages idly.

The fact of the matter was, I had never intended to develop 'feelings' for Sirius, and so how I could prevent the same from happening with Remus? I had no idea how to combat a _fancy _whatsoever. This plan would therefore be ineffective. I was doomed. Doomed with fickle, elementary feelings.

Remus didn't make a comment on the fact that I had claimed Sirius's spot, nor did he ask about my 'train of thought.' Remus was quiet, certainly much quieter than James and Sirius, but he normally would ask about my odd behavior, if anything. Instead he buried himself with the words on the page, even though class hadn't started yet. His eyes glazed over the ink, unmoving, and then fell slowly, closing, then flickering open, then falling closed again…

I nudged his shoulder and he started, eyes wide, and then remembered where he was and relaxed. "Sorry," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes with a yawn.

"You feeling all right?"

He nodded. "Late night," was his only answer.

There was a long, thin scratch that ran down his jaw line and I took that as a sign that last night must have been full moon. My gaze wandered around the room searching for Sirius, and when I didn't find him, I felt a painful throb at the thought that he might have gotten hurt.

But then I stared at the space in front of me, realizing how quick I had been to worry about _him_ in particular, and made myself worry about James and Peter, too. It was hard to force myself to genuinely worry, though.

They were all fine, and I knew it, but I was a bit paranoid if anything at the idea of Sirius being hurt.

So much for this plan. Maybe I would just have to go back to Kenneth.

I shuddered. No, I was not going to include that in my plan.

"You steal my spot and then you put Remus to sleep," a voice laughed from behind, trotting up alongside me.

I couldn't help but feel relieved and irritated all at once at the sound of his voice. I'd only formed my plan this morning and it had already failed in more ways than one. I allowed myself to steal a glance at him, and my eyes brushed over a clean face, free of bruises or cuts. He hardly even looked tired; he bounced on his toes, grey eyes bright and swinging about. Much opposite of the drooling Remus beside me.

"You can take my seat," I said, turning from him and directing my gaze to the wood of the desk. "I was going to ask Remus for," I glanced momentarily at his sleeping face, "help with Potions."

"If you can get him awake, that is," Sirius said, and pranced off from me, then turned back midstep. "Where do you sit, anyhow?"

I scanned the room for the hippogriff and pointed towards her.

His eyes went wide and he stage-whispered, "_Stewart?_"

"Mhm," I mumbled, drawing my book towards me. "Enjoy yourself."

He let out a loud groan.

Lily had warned me against ignoring him, as those types of plans apparently never worked. How could she just assume something like that, though? This was a brand new idea that she had never personally witnessed, and she could not just make such a bold assumption out of practically nothing. She'd see when it was all over. I _was_ right; this was the only way.

When class started, however, it seemed to drag on endlessly, and I had to make a conscious effort to remember where Sirius was in my peripheral vision so I did not accidentally glance over at him. It was a bit tiring, if anything.

Professor Slughorn walked to the front of the class, looking quite exhausted from attempting to quiet the students and failing numerous times. "It's come to my attention that some of you are in desperate need of a review from last year," he announced, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Today we'll be covering a potion of your choice. I'll take a class vote... either a Blood-Replenishing Potion, a Shrinking Solution, or Amorentia." He glanced around the room with his beady eyes quickly, seemingly processing his own words, and then shook his head. "No, never mind. I'll just let someone choose. Ah, Miss Stewart, if you'll choose one for us."

Marie Claire's head shot up and she flushed darkly. "Um..." Her head darted over to her neighbor—_dammit, so much for not looking at him_—and she whispered loudly, "What did he say?" Sirius shrugged his shoulders, looking bored, and Marie Claire swiveled back to the front. "Um, the last one, sir."

"Amortentia, then?"

She nodded uncertainly, looking stricken, as if she'd had no idea which potion the 'last one' had entailed in the first place.

"Excellent. The most dangerous of them all," he said monotonously, turning from the class to gather the materials. "You'll brew them in your pairs, as usual, but I must insist that none of you attempt to consume or bottle the potion when it is finished. I'll be checking pockets just in case."

Remus rubbed his eyes beside me, letting out another giant yawn. "Why do we need to know about love potions for our NEWT?"

"I've no idea," I said, and then tapped my chin thoughtfully, a smile spreading across my face. "But if it comes down to it, I'm willing to spike the examiner's drink with one. Couldn't give me a bad mark if he was in love with me, eh?"

Remus laughed sleepily. "Reckon not. Possibly a brilliant plan."

"Flattered," I said, bowing my head, to which Remus shook his head before I darted off to collect the materials. I came back with my hands full of odd things I couldn't name, pretty, shiny things and some particularly slimy or sharp. I dumped them on the desk and proceeded to chop or stir or boil or whatever I was supposed to do alongside Remus.

After fifteen minutes of droning and tedious work, Slughorn came around and gave our potion a whiff. I shot Remus a wary look, and he only pressed his lips together; neither of us had been sure if we were finished just yet, and Slughorn had reached our cauldron sooner than I'd expected.

"Ah. Daisies," he commented, and gave us a curt nod before continuing on.

I glanced at Remus again, wondering if something had gone wrong. "Daisies? That's odd. There aren't any daisies in our materials..."

"It smells differently to each person," Remus reminded me, and leaned forward to smell it. "Rain, and... vanilla." He blinked. "Well, that's an odd smell together."

"I could have sworn it smelled like," I leaned forward, raising a brow, "coconut."

"That's what I'm saying; it smells different to you than it would to me. Do you smell anything else?"

I shook my head. "Maybe leaves. Like in autumn, you know?"

"Odd," he conceded.

I stirred it idly, releasing an accomplished breath. Nothing had ignited or blown up, and that was the very least I could ask for. I studied the pearly color, the wispy, spiral clouds of smoke that emitted from the liquid. "So, Remus, how would you like to fall in love with me?"

He mockingly considered the notion for a moment and then leaned back in his chair, raising his eyebrows. "I don't reckon you'd enjoy an incident like the James fiasco from last year again." His lips curled teasingly.

I cringed at the memory. "No, no. Good call there."

"It had its benefits, though, you have to admit. There was nothing quite like seeing Lily push good ol' James in the Black Lake. His face was black for a week."

Last year for Valentine's day, Sirius had decided it would be funny to surprise James with Firewhiskey and a little dash of his secret ingredient, _a love potion_. Needless to say, I had been the target and James had stalked me all afternoon, until Lily and I were studying by the lake and she grew so sick of his relentless presence that she shoved him into the water. He apparently had landed on the Giant Squid and upset it so greatly that it attacked James with its ink.

I'd never quite given shaken off the oddity that _that_ day had been; I'd even gone as far as stealing Sirius's bed sheets for a week in vengeance.

And there he was in my thoughts again. I sighed, releasing the ladle.

Remus frowned. "Something bothering you? You've been acting a little out of it all morning."

"I'm fine," I said with a shrug. "Just, um, a little glum. Thinking about Christmas."

"What about it?"

"I'll be here again," I answered, biting my lips together. It _was_ true; Christmas was quickly approaching, and I would in fact be residing in the castle for the holiday as I had for the last seven years, but I couldn't dump the recesses of my mind onto Remus at a moment like this. A lie would have to do, but then again, it wasn't _really_ a lie at all.

"Oh," Remus said, brows knitting together. "Won't Sirius be here? Can't be too bad."

I fought the flinch that I felt course through my limbs. "He spent the last Christmas with the Potters, so I don't know." Of course I _wanted_ him to stay, but it wasn't very well helping with my current condition, was it?

Remus shot a glance over his shoulder, and I watched the expression in his face morph into a kind of concerned amusement, something that often found his face when Sirius or James or I did something _absolutely_ ridiculous. I turned my head to see what was creating this expression on his face, only to find that it was in fact Sirius. I kicked myself mentally.

And when my stomach dropped sickeningly, I kicked myself again, as hard as I mentally could. Sirius was leaning in close to Marie Claire, a kilometer wide smile on his face, likely telling a joke by her incessant giggling, acting like he'd just said the funniest thing since Merlin's baggiest Y-fronts. And then I was looking at her and at the flush that was mounted to her features and I noticed the hand by her shoulder, and I realized Sirius's _arm_ was around her, and it became so painstakingly obvious that he was flirting and she, the jabbermouth little hippogriff, was soaking up every second of it.

I collected a breath and looked away, trying to compose my face in some way as to not attract Remus's attention. I wanted to at least bury my face in my hands, but that would be much too obvious. Instead I just sat stiffly, fixing my eyes on a crack in the wall so I would not be tempted to turn my head back around.

"Er, Gracie?" Remus poked my shoulder.

"Hm?" I didn't turn.

"I'm telling you, you're acting really _odd_."

I was jealous. It was stupid and senseless and irrelevant and pointless and oh my goodness why was she giggling so _loudly_? She was beginning to sound like a Chihuahua on Cheering Solution! I grit my teeth together and focused on my breathing instead. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. It wasn't difficult. Breathe in, breathe out…

_But he didn't even like her! He'd whined about her only just this morning!_

I snapped, twisting around and slamming my textbook shut. I hadn't even been reading it; it had just been close, and I needed to exert my frustration somehow. "Why is she so _loud_? We're _supposed_ to be working!"

I was absolutely seething by then, so much so that Remus was beginning to look a little less concerned and a little more alarmed. "You mean Stewart?"

I folded my arms across my chest, too livid to care that I'd just released my jealousy to the wind.

"We've only got five minutes left of class, you know," Remus reminded me gently.

"Yes, but isn't she a Ravenclaw? What about hardwork and dedication? Shouldn't she be working diligently until the _end_ of class?" The expression on his face didn't satisfy my fury. "Hell, she should be working even after class! She's a bloody Ravenclaw!"

"I'm not sure I..." he paused warily, "understand?"

"Never mind," I muttered darkly, collecting my books with a mad sweep of my arms. "Five minutes, you said? I'll see you later."

And then I was gone. I heard Remus call my name once, but I acted as if I hadn't heard him, and when I had to walk by Sirius's seat, I kept my gaze strictly forward and pushed through the door as if I didn't have a care in the world.

I realized when I'd gotten into the hallway that I was shaking. I stopped in the middle of the corridor to recollect myself and rubbed my forehead with a long sigh.

That was it, I told myself. This was where it ended. This was the last time I would let this kind of thing bother me. This was the last time I would care at all.

The hardest part of pretending you don't care, though, is knowing somewhere deep down inside of all that madness how much you really do.

* * *

**A/N**: Phew, this took a while, and it wasn't even that fantastic. Or long. Oh well. I've been buried in exams and volunteering and that awful nasty thing called _writer's block_ which I was so proud I hadn't had this entire story so far! Well, anyways, it's over now, and hopefully I'll have a lot easier time managing not only my time but my ideas. _Hopefully_ updates will be more often, though I can't promise you anything, but I won't leave you for too long. There's a lot coming up soon, though! And please, please, please leave me a review. I need some encouragement :) thank you all, you are the absolute best readers I could ask for!


	14. Falling With Grace

_Chapter Fourteen_

**Falling With Grace**

It was an odd thing, the way that nothing could hurt so much. And that's what it was, I decided. Nothing at all.

Sirius cast me a look from across the table at breakfast and I allowed a smile in return. I'd been irrational the other day, perhaps. He had just been being Sirius. I'd just hoped…

Hoped I'd meant something more to him, too. Which was irrational all in itself. I'd been ignoring him, so what should I have expected? Him to break down my walls and confess his undying love for me?

Yeah. Maybe not so dramatically, but something of the sort. I'd be content with just the implication of my presence in his thoughts. Very irrational.

Next to me, Lily was chattering on, swinging her fork around in the air and chewing quickly. "So then he asked if I'd attend his Christmas party. I really do think he's brilliant. I'm thinking of getting him a gift while I'm on vacation. I asked James if he'd come with me tonight—oh, Merlin, do I even have anything to wear? What do you wear to something like this?"

I raised my eyebrows, indicating I had no clue what she was going on about.

She brushed me off, disregarding my lack of attention. "I'll figure it out later. Remus's been invited as well… I wonder who he'll be taking. Did you get an invite, Gracie?"

I paused mid-chew, staring, and then swallowed. "I'm sorry, to what?"

She huffed impatiently. "Professor Slughorn's having a Christmas party. Did you hear any of what I said?"

I nodded, resuming my eating, and waved my hand at her. "Bits and pieces."

Lily stirred her food around on her plate idly, looking lost in thought for a moment. She glanced over to me again. "I don't see why you didn't get an invite. Professor Slughorn adores you."

I choked loudly. "Yes," I said, and the choke turned into something of a laugh. "I am the prime example of what not to do in class." I rolled my eyes at the ceiling and threw my hands up. "Adores me."

"Maybe Remus will ask you to go with him," she supplied hopefully.

"Probably shouldn't," I said. "Professor Slughorn might suffer from cardiac arrest if he sees me in _heels_."

She stared blankly. "Wear flats then," Lily suggested instead.

"You're missing the point, Lils. He doesn't like me and that is that. I'm not going," I said adamantly. I turned to her, shoulders swaying. "Besides, it's not even like Remus has asked me. We're just wasting our breath."

She slouched a little in disappointment and rubbed her fingertips together. "I think you just frighten him, that's all."

"Because that's so much better?"

She shrugged. "Perspective, I suppose."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'll deal with it if I need to. All right?"

"I'm not really sure how that's supposed to reassure me, but whatever," she said, waving her hand dismissively.

"Drama?" Remus appeared beside me, and a smug look suddenly flashed across Lily's face. I glared and she smiled sweetly at Remus.

"Oh, nothing, nothing," she said quickly, making sure to shovel an incredible amount of food into her mouth so neither of us could attempt to speak to her.

Remus raised an inquisitive brow but I assured him it was nothing with a shake of my head.

"All right," he said, slowly at first. "Well, I came over to ask if you'd received an invite to Slug Club's Christmas party."

I snorted. "_Slug Club?_ Is that what you're all calling it? What is this?"

"I didn't think of the name," Remus said, laughing slightly. "Anyways, I'm going to assume that's a no…"

I hummed nonchalantly.

"Would you go with me, Gracie?"

I looked at him for a moment and drummed my fingers on my chin. "Are you asking me as your _date_, Remus?" I grinned at him cheekily.

The word "date" seemed to capture the attention of a dozen others around us, but I ignored them, directing my attention solely to Remus. He blew out an impatient breath, but smiled despite himself.

"No, Gracie, I am not. But would a 'yes' persuade you?"

"Mmh." I turned back to my plate. "Probably not. I was thinking I'd stay away from Slughorn as much as possible." I turned back and leaned in close to him. "He _hates_ me, you know."

"Oh, please," Remus sighed, "you are the _only_ entertaining thing I'm sure he ever sees in that classroom."

I looked at him with a straight face for as long as I could, then decided it was pointless and broke into a smile. "Fine, I'll go with you. As your _date_."

He squinted his eyes and I only winked. "All right, but don't expect a bouquet… or… something date-ish."

I frowned at Lily and exhaled loudly. "He's a terrible date." Then I glanced at him and nudged him in the shoulder. "Only joking, of course not. Go on."

"Fine," Remus said, standing up. "I'll be in the common room at seven." Then he paused, staring at me with a similar straight face, and whispered in my ear, "Wear something pretty." And then he winked and strut away.

I exploded into laughter and stared after him in hysterical disbelief. "_Remus!_"

* * *

"_Gracie,_" Lily hissed from down the staircase. "Merlin, she takes longer to get ready than all of the girls in our dorm combined."

"Lily! Do not ruin my moment!" I called down, pulling my flats on my feet at Lily's suggestion. "Is Remus there?"

"I'm here."

"Gracie, honestly, you do not need a grand entrance. We're going to be late—"

"Shh, Lily! You are ruining my moment!"

I heard a banter of laughter from the boys and I ran my fingers along the hem of my dress.

"Remus?"

"Go ahead," he responded, and I placed a toe at the top of the stairs, primly balancing, waiting…

And then I fell. The step I'd balanced on collapsed into the stairwell, and my foot slipped against the smooth marble surface. I landed on the flat staircase with my other foot and let out a high shriek, my dress flitting around me as I slid down the slope full speed. My body was buzzing with adrenaline and I soared downwards uncontrollably. My hair flew in my face and I couldn't see where I was tumbling but I felt my body hit another. We stumbled backwards and I giggled with enthusiasm as the arms caught me and stood me up straight. A hand brushed the hair from my face and I saw it was Remus. "The entrance you were hoping for?"

"Precisely," I answered, beaming, gaze flickering over to the others. I grabbed his hand and whispered, "Now's the time when we take our bow."

"I thought girls curtseyed?"

"Stop being so particular," I said, and dipped my head down in a bow, tossing my hair with the motion. I saw Remus join me from the corner of my eye and flipped myself back up, inhaling a satisfied breath and releasing Remus's fingers.

James, Sirius, and Peter clapped enthusiastically while Lily just laughed, shaking her head. She told me sometimes that I liked to take things to the farthest degree.

I had been waiting forever to do that. There definitely were benefits to the male ability to turn stairs into slides.

"How graceful," James said, wiping at his eyes like he'd been crying at the beauty of the spectacle.

"Falling with _grace_," Sirius corrected, and the two slammed their shoulders together, congratulating themselves on being the wittiest blokes in the room.

The room quickly descended back into order; everyone started to fall into separate conversation and move away, but Sirius stood still, gaze fixed on me as everyone scattered around him. I raised my eyebrows, but he only blinked, like he'd forgotten where he was and was silently trying to decide if he was awake. I vaguely felt chills running down my arms and I laced my fingers together to keep myself in order. My thoughts had left me, and the only thing I was aware of was his grey gaze holding mine. And we stood there for that moment that felt like forever, staring at each other, until a corner of his lips curved upwards and it was all gone.

"_Direly_ late!" Lily announced, taking James's sleeve and pulling him along. Remus rushed after them, then cast me a backwards glance.

I waved to Peter and Sirius, who hadn't been invited and were staying behind in the common room. I couldn't pity them because I would have gladly switched places, but I was all about making the best of the moment. I skipped up to meet the other three and grabbed Remus's hand again. "Come on, date, we can't be _late_."

"You should be a poet."

"And to think I didn't even know it!"

He scoffed. "Unoriginal."

I sighed. "Some people are so hard to please."

"Why are we holding hands?"

"Because we're on a date!" I shrieked, bumping him with my hip teasingly. "Really, you act as if you've never been on a date, Remus."

"You know." He bit his lips together. "Sometimes I'm not even really sure how seriously I should take you."

"I hope it doesn't surprise you that I get that a lot."

* * *

In all honesty, I hadn't been expecting the night to be spectacular. The game I'd been playing with Remus died down quickly; I let go of his hand and we spent most of the night leaning onto a table, drinking punch and talking about Transfiguration homework. I also enjoyed watching a quarter of my year awkwardly socialize and attempt to find their _nitch _at the party. Were we supposed to dance? Or just eat and talk? Were we supposed to acknowledge Professor Slughorn? It was all very, very awkward, and a lot of the time Remus and I spent the time snickering under our breath at the sight of it all.

James and Lily were off to the side, talking by the window. They weren't necessarily being affectionate, but you could tell by the way they poised themselves next to each other that they were content just in each other's company. It was warming to see, really. I wished they would just bloody get married already.

A figure appeared at my side, taking a large, noisy gulp of punch. "What a dull party, I will say."

I flinched, turning to see Sirius. Remus eyed him suspiciously. "What are you doing here?"

"What, Remus, I'm not special enough for this lively event?" He cocked an eyebrow, tilting his head. He'd swept his hair back and thrown on dress robes—no, _thrown on_ wasn't right; he looked downright elegant. _Merlin_ could this boy clean up well.

But I was not gawking. I turned my head from him and sipped my punch, glancing at him from the side instead.

"Oh, I don't care," Remus said, "just warn me if you decide to blow the place up, okay?"

Sirius smirked. "You know me too well. I wasn't planning on blowing the place up, thank you, but _crashing the party_ was somewhere on my to-do list for the day."

Remus set his goblet down with sudden determination. "Can I help?"

"Me too! But wait." I drained the punch and then came back up to gasp for air. "Okay, me too."

"Excellent. Oi, Peter is supposed to be here, too… Look, there he is, behind the curtain. Come _out_, Wormtail, no one's going to hex you."

A head of brown hair bobbed out from behind the curtain, and slowly Peter's entire body emerged, revealing a sleek pair of dress robes that made Peter look like a dressed up teddy bear.

"Oh, Peter, you look _adorable_!" I gushed immediately, flailing my hands with constrained excitement.

Peter winced. "Sirius! It's your fault!"

I frowned. "What?" I looked at Remus. "Is 'adorable' bad?"

Sirius laughed, clapping Peter on the shoulder. "I'd take it as a compliment, mate. Gracie didn't even comment on my appearance when I showed up."

And thank goodness I had not. I did have _some_ self control.

Peter mumbled in discontentment and pulled a sack from under his robes. "Here, you do it. Because I'm _adorable_." He handed it to Remus, who only shrugged at me.

"What is it?" He opened the sack at the top, peering into it.

"You'll want to be careful with that," Sirius warned. "It's got an Undetectable Extension Charm on it, and I'll tell you it took _forever_ for me to get down, but it looks to be working now. Anyways, those are the teacups."

"Teacups?" Remus started to reach his hand into the bag, but Sirius cut him off.

"Ah! Like I said, careful. They're called 'Nose-Biting Teacups'. I'm sure you can imagine why."

"They're 'Nose-Biting', Padfoot. Meaning they are not going to bite my_ fingers_."

"True, but they're a bit touchy. They don't like the bag very much." He smiled sheepishly. "Once they're out in the open, they should function fine."

I glanced into the bag over Remus's shoulder, standing on my tip-toes. "What are you planning on doing with them?"

"Replacing the goblets for them, of course."

"Oh." I giggled mischievously beneath my hand. "That's terrible."

"We'll see," Sirius said, and ushered Remus on. "If you'll do us the honor, Moony."

"Me? Why me?"

He looked at the three of us for a moment, searching for a rescue, and then seemed to decide it was hopeless.

"Fine. Fine…" He turned away, muttering, and we watched as he moved stealthily, pulling out teacups (and also dropping them on the table and cursing and shaking his hand in pain) and sweeping the empty goblets on the table into the sack.

Remus darted back with a sack full of goblets clanging together melodically. I turned inwards at an angle where it appeared I was making conversation with Peter and yet could still see the table where Remus had laid out the teacups. Sirius did the same, sheltering his face from view, and we all waited with anticipation until Alex Fronsac walked up to the bowl of punch.

Sirius erupted into stifled snickers, and I slapped his arm with the back of my hand. He sobered instantly, straightening himself, and we all attempted to act sophisticated in our wait.

Another Ravenclaw pair joined Fronsac, and they conversed calmly while pouring their punch in teacups. No one paid heed to the fact that the goblets had mysteriously transformed into teacups, which aided the prank that much more. Several others collected their own teacups, but no one had taken the liberty of a drink yet. Sirius, Peter, Remus and I were practically standing on our toes at this point.

And then it happened. Much to Sirius's amusement, it was Fronsac that drank first from his cup. It happened in slow motion at first: Fronsac was lifting the cup to his lips, then turning it upside down to drain the punch, when he let out a squeak and threw the teacup to the ground. His tip of his nose was a bright red and his hand jumped to rub it instantly. The room fell around him like a domino effect.

"It just BIT ME!" a Slytherin girl screamed at her date, and when he stared blankly she threw the cup at him, spraying him with bright pink punch that dripped down his face and onto his white oxford shirt. He gasped and she shoved past him, whimpering and holding her nose, running out of the room in tears.

She wasn't the only one, either; the room was soon filled with shrieks and yells and the sound of teacups clattering to the ground and the sight of students drenched in punch. The most dignified students (namely, the Slytherins, though there were a few bothersome others, such as Alex Fronsac) resorted to pitiful flailing and retreating.

Professor Slughorn stared at the spectacle, his small eyes going wide, perplexed. I caught sight of Lily turning from the window, looking concerned and quite a bit alarmed, and I shoved Sirius beside me so we wouldn't catch her eye. She would know if she saw us all standing together. Lily saw through _everything_.

We were all trying not to laugh, at least visibly, but the scene was much too hilarious. I was suddenly glad that Slughorn favored his Slytherins so much; if he hadn't invited all of them, it wouldn't have been _nearly_ as funny. Sirius was chuckling still and pulled open his robes to find something else he had stashed away for the event. "We're not done just yet. We've got one last round for the show."

"I don't know if I like the sound of this," Remus said, though his eyes were creased with the laugh that we were all finding was hard to keep away.

"Believe me, it's magical," Sirius assured, pulling out another small sack, which I did not doubt he'd practiced another Undetectable Extension Charm on. "We'll probably all want to run after this. Here, you can all have one. But make sure you _throw_ it. _Far_."

"What—" Sirius placed it in my hand and then another to Remus and then another to Peter. I stared down at the round, brown capsule in my palm. I looked at Sirius warily. "Dungbombs? Sirius, we'll smell for ages."

"Silly Gracie. Dungbombs don't make _you_ smell. They just smell." He returned the pouch to his robes. "Well, we're running just in case."

I shrugged, glancing at Remus and Peter who only mirrored me.

"Remember, _throw_. No suicide bombing tonight. On three?"

We nodded.

"All right. One…"

We were definitely not going to get away with this. I'd probably be in detention until I graduated.

"Two…"

But, all in all, whatever happened would be worth it. Most likely. If not, I would just blame Sirius until the end of time. I glanced around the room and caught sight of Kenneth, standing close to Ruth Powell, his Potions partner. I'd seen them together occasionally. Maybe they were together now? I'd never really given the two much thought…

"_Three!_"

At the sound, we tossed the dung bombs in different directions and the boys scattered, and it was only until I noticed Peter's lousy throw that landed _right next to my foot_ did I realize I should probably run for it, too. And his was about to go off. Bloody hell, I was about to get blasted—

Suddenly I was yanked backwards, and Sirius was expelling things that I could barely decipher in the flurry of it all. "Gracie! I told you to _throw_—"

And I yelped as we fell to the ground in an unorganized heap, tangled in each other in a most uncomfortable fashion. Sirius quickly retreated behind the shelter of the curtain by the window, and pulled me along after him.

The room was all panic, a kind of panic that should be reserved for a school invasion of You-Know-Who's Death Eaters or something much more high scale and dangerous than a couple of dungbombs. Really, they were acting as if they were all about to perish in the eternal flames of hell. The dungbombs were harmless! I laughed and dropped my head on Sirius's shoulder with exhaustion. All around us was the sound of coughing and shouting and crying and running. It was chaotically insane. Lily would _kill_ us if she found out.

"We almost got caught there, you know," Sirius said, poking me in the side. "Thanks to you here."

"I didn't throw that one. It was Peter. I was just reacting slowly."

"No excuse." I lifted my head and glared at him. "But it's fine. We didn't get caught, so I'll forgive you."

"Thank you." I settled back into the wall, relishing in the sound of the scene we'd caused. Leave it to Sirius to destroy the most highly prestigious Hogwarts party of the year. In the clamor, I'd forgotten all of those lingering feelings for Mr. Black boy here, and only now as the sounds of the pandemonium were dying down did I feel that tug at my heart again. But it was tolerable, I reasoned, and I was happy just sitting beside him in the momentary silence.

Oh, Merlin, and the fact that we had gotten away with all of that…

Suddenly the curtain shrank away from us, revealing Sirius and I to the remnants of the party room and the red, furious face of Fronsac.

"Here they are, Professor!"

"Aw, _damn_," I heard Sirius mutter beside me.

Right. Never mind then.

* * *

_A/N: Sirius, you and your crazy ideas. Hurray for a fast-ish update! BUT NO MORE WRITER'S BLOCK! This was fairly fun to write, teehee. I like Remus. Oh, and thank you all for your reviews as always. I'll try to update to twice a week, but that's just my goal. I'll have one a week at the very least. Thank you for reading lovelies, hasta la vista for now~_


	15. Might As Well Be Dynamite

_Chapter Fifteen_

**Might As Well Be Dynamite**

The disheveled Professor Slughorn appeared before the two of us. "Black and Hachette?" For the record, he didn't seem too astonished. "Get to your feet." We shuffled uncomfortably to standing positions. "What is the meaning of all of this? Neither of you were invited—and so you decided to wreak havoc on a perfectly orderly event?"

I poked my hand up in the air. "Um, Professor, I actually _was_ invited, if you must know—Remus asked me to come along with him—"

Sirius jabbed me in the ribs and looked at me as if he was trying to say I was only going to get myself killed if I kept talking. I closed my mouth.

"Gracie?"

Oh, Merlin. Kill me now. With a bloody broomstick for all I care. Just somebody do it, please. Of course Lily just had to hang along after the party had scattered. Of course! Of all the luck!

"Sirius?" she continued, and her emerald gaze scanned over us, scrutinizing. "What are...?" And then it seemed to dawn on her and she gasped. "This was _you_?"

James appeared promptly beside her, looking chipper with his hands in his pockets, seemingly already put the pieces together. "Oh, hey mates. Fancy seeing _you two_ here."

Lily shot him a deathly glare.

"Right," he corrected quickly, "I can't _believe_ you two. Shame, shame. Naughty children."

Lily blew out a furious breath and slapped his arm.

"Sorry!" he yelped. "Stopping! I'm stopping!"

Sirius was hiding his snigger with a discrete turn of his head. He regained control quickly, however, when Professor Slughorn spoke again.

"Detention until Christmas break," he said, sighing with evident exasperation. I didn't reckon he'd like to spend any more time with us than necessary, but I suppose he figured this was necessary. Sirius relaxed, processing that as Christmas break was only a week away, the deal wasn't so bad after all. Until Slughorn spoke again. "And then week after we get back. No questions asked."

Sirius slouched.

Slughorn turned to the righteous Gryffindor Head Boy and Girl, and rubbed the spot in between his eyebrows. "As for the House points, I will leave that up to your discretion," he told Lily and James.

With the furious look on Lily's face, I sensed her wrath would be relentless. One thousand points off and no less. We'd be the first class of all Hogwarts history to reach negative House points. Then everyone would hate Sirius and me and we would never have friends again. And when we graduated school and were out in the real world, they'd see us on the streets and run in the opposite direction. 'You were the ones that made us go in House point DEBT! THE HORROR! THE SHAME!'

Lovely. Sirius always had fantastic plans, didn't he?

And then Slughorn walked away without another word. He waved his wand around lazily, and the room pulled itself back together. Sirius took this as his moment to escape and bolted from the room, only taking a moment to pull me along after him.

"She's deadly," Sirius whispered to me as soon as we were in the safety of the empty corridor. "She's like a dungbomb. Only worse. Much worse. She's potent. Poisonous! And she's about to go off."

The sound of distant footsteps followed us and Sirius quickened his pace.

"She's like BOOM!"

"And then we'll be like..."

"Like...?"

"SPLAT!" And I shoved him hard in the side for effect, laughing manically and rushing off as he fought to catch back up with me.

"Ow, dammit, Gracie, you're too strong for a girl."

"I'm sorry. Are you hurt?" I asked, mock frowning. He opened his mouth to respond but I cut him off. "Well, you can thank yourself for getting us in this mess in the first place!"

"Hey! You're the one that didn't run when I told you to!"

I turned and stared hard at him, and he raised his brows, waiting for my retort. I growled and looked away. "Fine. Maybe it's both our fault then."

I heard him take a long inhale. "I suppose a compromise will work."

"That's as much as I'm compromising with you on that one."

"Fine," he grumbled, "but I want to live to be at least... let's say twenty-five. That's reasonable, right?"

I tossed my head instead of answering.

"I'd like to see twenty-five. So let's just not get murdered by Lily too early, all right? Tell her to wait until I'm twenty-five."

"GRACIE! SIRIUS! GET BACK HERE!"

I groaned. "Never say her name when she's angry. Look what you did. You summoned her."

"Twenty-five!" he shouted, throwing his hands on top of his head. "I'm only seventeen, Gracie! I'm too young!"

I turned back and glanced at Lily's frantic figure rushing towards us. "LILY, COME BACK IN SEVEN YEARS!"

"Isn't it eight? Seven, plus three, plus five, equals twenty-five—"

"NEVER MIND! EIGHT YEARS!"

"Thanks, bud," Sirius said, giving my shoulder a pat, and I waved him away. "I knew you cared more than you let on."

"Pfft." I grinned at him. "I think you're being too presumptuous now. I'd like to see twenty-five too, you know."

"GRACE MARIE HACHETTE! SIRIUS..." Silence fell through the echoing corridor for a moment, and both Sirius and I paused absentmindedly while waiting for her to finish. "...BLACK!"

"She does bring up a good point, you know," I told him and we commenced our speed walking.

"What?"

"No one knows your middle name."

"I don't have one." He shrugged.

"I think it should be 'Lee.' I christen you as 'Lee.'"

"Why? That's almost as plain as Marie." He shuddered. "Can't have that now."

"Shut up. I'm trying to give you a wicked name and there you go, being an ungrateful wench."

"_Wench?_" Sirius inhaled and laughed at the same time, sounding something distinctly like choking. "I am not getting pretty images in my head."

"Wretch. I meant wretch."

"Well, I suppose that is a nicer mental image than myself as an obese, middle-aged woman pining over her husband away at sea," he noted, then looked down at the front of his shirt, and cupped an imaginary chest. "Not to mention the voluptuous bosom."

I gasped and was then taken over by hysterical laughter from the look on his face. "Sirius! That is gross!" I cried in between breaths. "What are you even saying? Merlin... No, never mind, I didn't mean for you to tell me! I'm not speaking to you anymore!"

"Oh, now _that's_ a shame," he teased, trailing alongside me, moving on close to my side. "You never did tell me why Lee was so special, after all. I'll have to live my whole life without knowing."

I rolled my head back towards the ceiling and neglected to give him an answer, shaking with constrained mirth.

"I'll probably die," he went on, "and I can _not_ die before I'm twenty-five. It is unacceptable."

"Really? I'll have to make sure we arrange your death for right afterwards, then. Perhaps on your birthday, or is that coming on a little too strong? Perhaps the night after might work better for you."

"You're so thoughtful. You really _must_ care more than you let on." I caught him shoot me a wink and I just turned away, blushing furiously.

I decided then that that was likely not a good sign. Not a good sign for what? For... well, it wasn't a good sign. Oh, hell, my brain had disconnected.

And then I decided to swerve the subject back to a more comfortable landscape. "Sound it out."

"What? Sound what out? Did I miss something?"

"Why Lee is so special," I supplied patiently.

"Oh, right," he said, blinking momentarily, as if he'd gotten off track and forgotten what it was we'd been talking about in the first place. "Sirius Lee Black. Is that it?" I nodded. "Sirius Lee Black... Sirius Lee Black..." His eyes dawned with recognition, and he smirked. "You are terribly clever. Though, I think it might fit better as Sirius Lee White..." He held up his forearm as proof.

We arrived at Gryffindor Tower, and I held my hands up. "It's not my fault you were born into the wrong nationality."

He chuckled quietly, sounding a bit resigned as we both turned to glance upon the Fat Lady. She was looking at her nails, evidently occupied, and I had to clear my throat to get her to look up and actually, you know, do her job.

"Oh, hello." She looked a bit perturbed but as we were still well before curfew, she really couldn't argue. "Password?"

"Ello, dearie," Sirius greeted warmly. "If you happen to see an explosive looking red head, I would advise you not to let her in. The fate of our school depends on you, sweet Lady."

She straightened slightly in her seat, sighing blissfully and batting her eyelashes, the sort of flattered look that spread across her face whenever Sirius flirted with her. He did it often, of course. Then the Fat Lady narrowed her brows and her mouth went firm. "But surely you don't mean your friend Miss Evans?"

"I certainly mean my friend Miss Evans," he assured her, leaning in a bit too close to the portrait.

I walked up promptly and rolled my eyes. "The password's Finnimbrum."

Again, she looked a little startled, but she relinquished and the portrait swung open.

Sirius shot me a look, amused, a bit drunk off of air, really.

"Don't get your spirits too high. We do have detention tonight," I reminded him, and he groaned loudly, falling onto a sofa in the common room. The common room was fairly crowded, which I found a bit odd for so late in the night, and I ended up having to squeeze next to Sirius to get a seat at all. The bare skin of my arm brushed against his and I wondered why I felt such a jolt at the slight contact. It was beginning to feel like torture but a glance at his face said he hadn't noticed at all.

"What _would_ I do without you?"

"I'm afraid you say that too often."

"Well, I interchange between sincerity and sarcasm, so you should give me credit for my ability to keep things refreshing."

"I most certainly do not doubt your ability." For some reason, that sounded very off to me, and truth be told, I had no idea what I was saying. I hoped I hadn't thrown some kind of creepy innuendo in there. I observed the look on his face, and he didn't seem overly affected. Perhaps I was just getting paranoid.

Sirius then started going off on a random tangent about Quidditch, ranging from the newest broomstick out there (and I'd forgotten the model even though he'd repeated it a thousand times because it just all sounded the same to me) to the fact that Ravenclaw had already fallen out of the standings for the Cup (I suspected he was still bitter about their defeat over Gryffindor.) He was so immersed in his conversation (as well as including me in it, though I just nodded along until I was eventually nodding myself to sleep) that neither of us noticed when two certain Heads of House authority sauntered through the door.

"_Gracie! Sirius!_ Did you not hear me calling you all the way down the hallway?"

Sirius grabbed a pillow and suffocated his face into it, emitting a noise like a groan that escalated pitch within seconds. "LADY! YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME!" he screamed out into the corridor, though we both knew it was unlikely the Fat Lady could have heard him from inside the common room.

Lily appeared before the both of us, panting and livid. "I can't believe you two! You'd been perfectly behaved for months and then you go and pull this stunt and, of all places, at Slughorn's dinner party! Sirius, you didn't even have any business _being there!_"

"Well, Gracie invited me," he said, pouting his bottom lip.

I snapped my head around and looked at him like, why would you come up with such a stupid lie when the redhead was already ticking like that stupid poisonous dungbomb you were going off about earlier, but he only met my eyes for as long as me to communicate the 'why would you come up with' and then he was grinning broadly at Lily.

"She was supposed to be with Remus! Speaking of which, where did _he_ go? Was he a part of this? Did you drag poor Peter along too?"

"Perhaps Remus had to use the toilet, I wouldn't know, thank you very much Miss Evans, but I do not keep track of him as he is not my pet."

"Sirius! This is _not_ a game! If you think that you're being funny or that you can just do _whatever _it is—"

Her stream of words was cut off instantly; a rather messy haired Chaser appeared beside her and pressed his lips against hers, muting all sound. The whole room fell silent after Lily, but that only lasted a brief moment before the room erupted with wolf whistles and hollering. Sirius was going into a fit of hyperventilation, far too overly staged with periodic shrieks, and the entire thing was too much for me to handle. I doubled over laughing; it'd never occurred to me that that ought to be a good way to shut Lily up, though I was certainly not going to try it myself. And then I imagined her face when all this was over. Bright as her hair. Even brighter, maybe. Oh, Merlin, and James was certainly enjoying the attention. The girl he'd been chasing for a long seven years (well, the first four really didn't count, but including them made it sound all much more cute) was finally here, in the flesh, kissing him in the midst of the _very_ crowded Gryffindor common room. He ought to be soaking up every second of the glory.

When he finally backed off to let the girl get some air (really, it'd felt like forever, and Lily hadn't even snapped away like I would have expected), the shade of her face did not disappoint. Enthusiastic clapping and loud cheers followed the whistles, and James just ran a hand through his hair timidly, a crooked smile lighting up his features. Lily wasn't looking much different, though she seemed to be trying to prove a point of how effective her circulatory system was. She blinked a bit, grinning and looking about as if to hide it, but it all was just so darned cute that even she couldn't deny it.

"Does this mean me and Gracie are off the hook, then?" Sirius chirped up hopefully.

Lily glared daggers at him but James just pulled her closer and she melted. I loved James. He had proved to be the perfect distraction.

"Well, now that we have had that very eye-opening near death experience, I think it's time we get to detention," I said, pulling myself up from the sofa. "You know, the two weeks' worth of detention we have. No much more punishment needed, you think, Sirius?"

"I _have_ been a bad boy." He strode past me confidently, winking at Lily as he passed, but I followed after him and gave him a much deserved wack on the arm. "Ow! Just kidding. I'm well behaved, Lily!" he called over his shoulder.

"Let's go, before she really goes off," I muttered, gripping his arm and pulling him along. Unfortunately, he was not easy to move, but he gave in eventually and walked with me.

We walked most of the way to Slughorn's office in silence until I felt Sirius staring at me. I glanced back, waiting for him to say whatever it was he looked like he wanted to say, but he just raised his eyebrows expectantly, as if it was _me_ that wanted to say something, so I looked away, thinking I'd read him wrong. But he was still staring at me, so I turned back to him, a bit exasperated. "What, Sirius?"

"Nothing," he murmured, looking forward. "Just thinking about how much time I spend with you. I'd reckon you're becoming quite some competition with James as my best mate."

It was only for a fraction of a second, but I felt it, a sinking feeling in my stomach, and it was impossible to ignore, even as quickly as it had passed. But I tried shrugging it off, honestly. "Really?" I asked, attempting to sound nonchalant.

He didn't notice anything. "Yeah, I just..." We stopped in front of Slughorn's door, looking at each other. "Noticed," he finished lamely.

"Okay," I said quietly, and the eye contact really began to _feel_ like eye contact; my eyes stung from looking at him so intensely, but I couldn't look away. I searched the grey depths for some sign that maybe I wasn't the only one going crazy, that maybe if he was feeling anywhere near as odd as I had been feeling lately, maybe it wasn't crazy at all. But I didn't find anything there, just eyes. Pretty eyes. But just eyes.

He shook the eye contact away, abruptly turning for the door. "Wanna go in now?"

I laughed. "Yeah. Seems like a good night to have a party with Slughorn."

Seeing Professor Slughorn for the second time that night was definitely not the most enjoyable part of my day, but he quickly found a job for us and had us outside, in the dark, shoveling snow with apparent "muggle contraptions" after confiscating our wands.

"It's just a snow shovel," I said, kicking the things with my foot. "Really. Some wizards are so naïve."

Sirius was balled up on the ground, rocking back and forth. "It's too cold. I'm going to proceed to happily die here and watch you do it all yourself."

I shot him a look. "Sirius, get up."

"No, no, you go ahead," he assured, waving a hand at me. "It's my dying wish."

I placed a hand on my hip. "I thought you weren't dying till twenty-five."

"There are exceptions to everything."

"Not to this. Get up," I said, holding out a hand to help him to his feet.

"Nope. Have fun."

"Sirius!"

"Fine," he agreed, albeit grudgingly. He took my hand in his and shifted as if to pull himself up, then a smirk flashed across his face for a brief second, and I knew I should have yanked my hand away then because I saw it coming, but it was too late, and instead of pulling himself up, he pulled me _down_ with all the force he had.

I shrieked, landing with a thud beside him, "_Sirius Black_! You git!"

"Stop complaining and just bloody cuddle with me," he insisted, pulling me into his side tightly. Warmth shot all the way to my toes and I shivered uncontrollably.

I laughed, my breath misting in front of me. "_Cuddle_ with you? You sound like a girl, Sirius."

"Exactly what I'm saying. I spend too much time with you. I need male bonding time," he sighed, but the smile found his face again, and he let me nestle myself under his arm. I wasn't really that cold at all, but this was a nice excuse. But oh God, he asked me to cuddle with him, of all things. Something was going on with his head. _Cuddle_. I giggled again at just the thought.

"What about all this shoveling we have to do?" I asked, poking him in the middle of his chest.

"We'll get to that once we're warm."

"But won't we just be cold again when we stand up?"

"Guess we won't be getting around to that shoveling then." He shrugged and I rolled my eyes, stomach too aflutter to really make much of a coherent argument.

This would just have to do for now. Not that I minded.

"Gracie," he spoke again, gently, as if he might disturb me, and I glanced up at him. "I don't really want you to be my best mate."

I laughed suddenly, nudging him teasingly. "Wow! And here I am, cuddling with you. Fine, you'll just have to ask _James_ to cuddle with you then."

He smiled but exhaled, breath leaving his mouth like smoke. "No, shush, that's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?" My eyes rested on his face expectantly.

"I just mean—different. Well, you are different. Bloody hell, you're odd, Gracie. I don't know how to say this. I don't even know what I'm saying."

"Is this a proper time to feel insulted?"

He frowned and poked my chin, then looked me properly in the eyes for a long moment. "Let's just go get that shoveling finished, yeah?"

Sirius stood and brushed the snow off of his pants, working his way over to where we'd dumped the shovels. I stared after him, unmoving, processing the whole conversation and wondered vaguely if he had meant I should be insulted or if I shouldn't.

"Are you going to help me or not?"

I sighed and pulled myself to my feet. "So whiny, Sirius, honestly."

* * *

_A/N: Oooh, tension in the air! ...Nah, just kidding. But if you must know, Sirius isn't interested in her in any way. Shape or form. Like him and Gracie don't end up together. Why are you even here? The summary lied to you. LIED!_

_Yeah yeah I know, it's too predictable. Sorry. And also if there are any very prominent grammar errors, I did check over it, but it's currently 4 AM (HOW THE HECK DID I NOT REALIZE) and I'm struggling to stay awake, so I apologize :) _

_Anyway for some reason I had a lot of fun reading this chapter. Stalled a bit to get it out (including watching the Vow and cutting my hair... which I really shouldn't do. My bangs are now too short. But never fear, it's not too awful.) BUT I DID MAKE PROGRESS TODAY. I planned out till chapter 31, and that's not even close to near finished. _

_I could use a wee bit of encouragement, if it's not too much trouble! :) I'm good with one line reviews or whatever, so long as I receive some kind of feedback... I'd just love to know how I'm doing. __Also I realize the title for this chapter is terrible...I'll think of a new one. OR you can help me out and suggest one! Teehee. Anyway thanks so much guys._


	16. Puzzle Piece Hearts

_Chapter Sixteen_

**Puzzle Piece Hearts**

What was it called again? I stretched my icy fingers and rubbed my palms together.

Ah, right. Frostbite. I could already feel it in my limbs, and oh for the love of sparkly magical Merlin was it called frost_bite_ for a reason.

I didn't know if it was possible, but London seemed to be the Arctic compared to Hogwarts. Sure, it was snowing at Hogwarts, too, but now I couldn't even shiver in the chill because I was becoming a human icicle.

Maybe I was being a bit dramatic.

"Sirius," I said, yanking on his wrist, "can we pretty please go into this shop? I'm going to die. _Die_ I tell you."

Maybe a bit dramatic, but that didn't change the fact that it was cold.

Sirius was dazing off at the spectacle of the Christmas lights in the midst of the black night, and it took two shoves for me to get his attention.

"Oh, fine, fine," said Sirius.

I cheered quietly, hopping along and pulling him after me. "You know what I just realized? Your name's like an oxymoron."

"A what?"

"Oxymoron. Okay, well, Sirius is a star, right? You said it was the brightest star in Canis Major."

"I did."

"And your last name is _Black_."

"Yeah? What's an oxymoron? That sounds insulting."

"It's not insulting! It's brilliance! It's like - contradictory. I think. But anyways, your first name is a star, and your last name is the dark." I stared at him for a moment, waiting for him to comprehend the sheer beauty. But he just stared at me, so I elaborated. "You're the night sky!"

"Oh." He looked contemplative. "Hm. That is pretty wicked," he agreed.

I pat him on the back, nodding my head. "I _do_ bring out the best in you."

Wait, wait, back up, _London?_ When did _that_ happen?

This morning, actually, thank you for asking.

Oh, right, yes, that needs a bit more explanation. _Well_, Sirius and I (as well as Lily and James, though they were off somewhere else at the moment) happened to be at Hogwarts that morning. The conversation I had with James turned all of my Christmas plans around. It went a little something like:

"Oh, Gracie, I forgot to tell you, you're spending the holiday with me and Lily and Sirius." And then he tried to get up.

"Wait, _what are you talking about_?"

"You're coming to my house." He blinked.

"Why?"

"Lily kept hinting that I should invite you. So I took the hint and invited you. Well, er—I meant to, but I forgot. So I'm telling you now."

"James! You moron! The train leaves in an hour! I haven't packed anything."

"The house elves have got it."

"Oh."

"Okay." He got up again, then paused to see if I'd pull him back again, but I was didn't say anything more and he took off.

I decided that the male gender was generally very thick headed.

"Gracie? Are we going inside or are we just going to stand here?"

"Don't blame _me_ for stalling now, Sirius."

"Well, who else do I blame? Oh, ghost Bertha! Shame on you for holding us up!" And he proceeded to swat at the air like he was hitting something.

"Did you bring your imaginary friends along with us?" I stuck my tongue out at him, catching falling snow in the process. We'd long ago ditched Lily and James; they'd been so preoccupied in each other that we snuck off thinking they wouldn't notice. So far it seemed as if they hadn't.

"Bertha isn't imaginary. Are you, Bertha?" He stared at nothing. "See. Did you hear that?"

"Yeah, I did actually." He raised his eyebrows with disbelief and I continued, unaffected. "She asked if your gran knows you're wearing her cloak."

He laughed and scooped down, pelting a ball of snow at me in retaliation. It smacked me on the shoulder and I hissed, sending him into more hysterical laughter with every ball of snow after that.

I gathered my own snow balls, and we stood in front of each other, circling like we were apart of a wizard's duel.

"Put the snow down, Gracie," Sirius warned slowly.

"I will when you do."

"It doesn't have to be like this. Just put the snow down and we can talk about this like adults." I didn't point out that we weren't actually adults.

I looked at him, took a deep breath, and dropped the snowball from my right hand.

"Thank you," Sirius said, dropping his own and wiping his gloved hands together. "I'm glad we can be civilized about this."

"Me too."

And we began to walk in the direction of the little shop that we were supposed to go into earlier, but Sirius had forgotten something. I still had a snowball in my left hand.

I draped an arm around his waist to pull him close and then used my free hand to shove the snow down his back.

Sirius cursed loudly and I laughed as he hopped up and down, trying desperately to get the cold snow out of his shirt. He wriggled and writhed and shrieked and cursed and I laughed so hard that I didn't notice when he scooped up more snow and shoved it in my face.

"Sirius! I am sick of this!" I cried, wiping my face clean, struggling for breath amidst my giggle-laughter. "We were supposed to be civilized!"

He held his hands up as a sign of surrender. "It's over, it's done. I've gotten my vengeance."

A gust of wind overcame us then, slapping us both with sheets of snow. I covered my face with my arms to attempt to block it from freezing me any worse, but it was a worthless attempt.

"It's _Bertha!_"

"You didn't say she was a bloody _evil_ ghost, Sirius!"

"Well, I forgot. She can be charming, you know—oh, hell, let's go inside already!"

He had good timing, too; it seemed as if the snowstorm was only getting worse and we were ages away from shelter. At least the storm made it appear that way.

"I'll race you," I called to him, dashing off, but he ran up beside me defiantly.

"_I'll_ win this time," he called back, "and _no cheating_, Grace Hachette!"

"I don't_ cheat!_"

"You always do! That's the only way you ever beat me at anything!"

"Shut up, Sirius!"

Running proved hard to do when I was laughing, but I just couldn't stop. It wasn't even necessarily funny anymore, but the entire situation was just ridiculous and we were making ourselves look stupid. It seemed as if that was our usual plan of action, actually, which was why I always felt like I was bursting my lungs whenever I was around him.

Luckily I never had.

Except I was in danger of doing so at the moment. Sirius was much faster than I was, as much as I hated admitting, and the fact that I was even remotely maintaining his pace was absolute torture on my body.

He gained more speed and made a mad bolt for the door, swinging it open and tumbling inside. I wasn't doing a very fantastic job of maintaining my own speed and before I could stop myself, the momentum sent me crashing full force into Sirius.

I shrieked and he caught me, laughing, and I apologized quickly and pulled myself away, moving to close the door behind me.

"What are you doing that for?" Moving away, he meant. He pulled me back to him. "You're warm. Don't leave."

I turned my face up to his. "What are you doing, Sirius?" He only smiled. "You're mental."

"Am not," he disagreed.

We locked gazes for a long moment, and internally I noted how oddly perfect we fit together. _Definitely_ odd, that was the only way I could describe it. My head rested against his shoulder, his against my forehead. My back was turned in and fit against his, opposite but complementary, like puzzle pieces. His arms tied around my waist, mine bent against his chest, giving us the only bit of distance.

And it dawned on me that this from the outside did not look like a very friendly embrace. And this was Sirius. A friend. The two obviously didn't match. It was the only thing that didn't fit together, really.

I couldn't bring myself to break away from this, though.

Now, I didn't know much about kissing, so I couldn't say I just _knew_ he was going to kiss me. But we were looking at each other, and his eyes grew soft, the teasing and playfulness and laughter, all of it, gone. There was this new emotion, one I couldn't quite reach out and grasp.

I didn't know much about kissing, but I did know one thing for sure, and that was that my stomach was flipping and turning and my nerves were going insane and I was either going to do something really stupid or pass out and I couldn't calm myself down. And I knew that _that_ had to mean something about this was different; it wasn't like this was the first time I'd ever hugged Sirius, after all. This wasn't anything like the other day when we were supposed to be shoveling snow and he'd asked me to cuddle with him (as much as that'd made me want to laugh.)

This almost felt like he had claimed me as his own, almost like he wanted me here, almost like he never wanted me to leave.

He would say things like that sometimes, but he meant it as a joke. This didn't seem like a joke.

It was fairly safe to say I wasn't cold anymore. I felt like my skin was on fire, like maybe I might just close my eyes and fall asleep against Sirius's chest, but his arms shifted around my sides and he moved his face right there, in the perfect, taunting spot, where his lips were just right there next to mine, and I was more acutely awake and aware than I had ever been in my life.

There were no words, no verbal confirmation, only a blazing heat between the two of us, and I knew right in that moment for sure that I was going to kiss Sirius.

Well.

I would have, if James bound-to-ruin-every-bloody-moment-in-the-history-of-moments Potter hadn't decided to prance in and scream at the top of his lungs that he'd finally found us at last.

That was where the potential kiss fell to the ground and disappeared. Might as well have been trampled by a herd of hippogriffs and then rolled in by children and then melted and dried up by the god forsaken sun.

It hadn't occurred to me until Sirius and I had jumped five meters apart (well, maybe it wasn't that much, but it felt like it compared to how we'd been just the moment before) that I could have just kissed him anyway and then run away out of the shop shamelessly.

I glanced at Sirius. _Oh, well_, I thought, forcing myself to look away quickly. _Moment lost._

James finished expelling his grand escapade about finding us and then paused, looking absolutely lost, gaze flitting between the two of us. "Did I interrupt something?"

He meant it as a joke, but the answer was _yes_, yes, most definitely _yes_, and neither of us gave him an answer at all.

My heart was hammering in my chest, protesting. I was glad it was locked up in my chest or it might have gone up and choked James for me. Crazy heart. Oh, Merlin, I was beginning to doubt that I could walk straight, my whole body was trembling.

Neither James nor Sirius noticed, though, thankfully, and I gathered a subtle breath while wrapping my arms around myself and glancing around the store.

The four of us had taken this trip as a detour to pick up last minute Christmas gifts, but, _oddly enough_, Sirius and I hadn't gotten anything done.

Lily burst into the room, rushing over to me. "Gracie, come here! I found a bunch of scarves that I absolutely know you'll love!"

She grabbed me, and I allowed myself a last glance at Sirius as I was being pulled out of the room. He smiled, but his lips were tight, brows raised, looking strained.

And so I was swept away.

* * *

"What are they going to think of me? They can't decide they don't like me and kick me out, right? That would be cruel." Lily was being loud, ranting and talking and spewing in a single continuous breath. "I mean, they like Sirius, don't they? So I'm not too far of a stretch. They'll like me, won't they? What do you think? James?"

He laughed, nodding his head. "I'm certain they'll adore you."

She seemed to calm down, if only by a little bit, but it was a considerable difference. A silence lapsed for a few moments, and the two walked, hands swinging together between them, a contemplative silence.

They'd somewhat left Sirius and me again, as we were walking behind the two of them and they were absorbed in their own conversation, but I didn't mind and I didn't reckon Sirius did, either.

Except that we weren't talking.

We certainly weren't _ignoring_ each other—no, I didn't think that would ever work, we just couldn't downright _ignore_ each other—but our silence was a lot different than Lily and James's. Much more awkward, much more uncertain.

I didn't even know what had happened between Sirius and me. What it meant, what it could mean, all of it, any of it.

And then Lily started talking again, and I realized I still had no idea what Sirius and I were supposed to do, lagging behind the two of them. What had we done in situations like this before? My mind was gone and I vaguely felt like burying myself in the snow and telling them to pick me up next Christmas.

Sirius, though, broke the silence between us, whispering, "How much do you want to bet James's parents say, 'So _this_ is the girl you've been going off about nonstop every summer for seven years!' when they see her?"

I turned to him, smiling. "A galleon. He probably gave them a full lecture about not mentioning his obsession in front of her."

"You're on. You forget _I'm_ the one that already knows his parents."

"Well, you forget that _I'm_ the smart one of this group."

He snorted. "Yeah, I did forget."

I shoved him in the side. "Git. Don't make me bring the snow into this."

He laughed loudly, shielding his face. "I love you, Gracie! Don't kill me! You can't kill someone who's just said 'I love you!'"

"Fine. I won't kill you."

"Good." He moved in step beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, distinctly friendly, like he always would.

"Not yet, at least."

"Gotta wait till I'm twenty-five," he reminded me.

"The day after your birthday," I recalled, nodding. "Got the appointment set up already."

And maybe he'd just been joking, and maybe I hadn't gotten a kiss, but hey. You couldn't have everything you wanted. The world wasn't a magical wish-granting genie. But he loved me, and that was pretty good.

* * *

_A/N: This is so terribly short and I hate it but I didn't want to include anything else or it would have been super duper long. And I just wanted to get an update out. So that's my excuse. And also, I was really tempted to just be like... MWAH! KISS! But I decided to torture everyone. MWAHAHA. No, I was really mad about it. I was like, JAMES POTTER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DID YOUR MOTHER NOT TEACH YOU MANNERS? But don't blame him, he didn't know what was going on. He's clueless! _

_Oh, and thank you all for the reviews and favorite and alerts, you all make my day :) Thanks so much for reading and don't forget to leave some feedback before you go! I'll never know how I'm doing if you don't! _

_OKAY BYE LOVELY READERS! _

_By the way, sorry if I confused anyone with my sarcasm in the author's note last time, teehee. That is the most I will clarify. No spoilers for you ;) _


	17. Imperfectly Compatible

_Chapter Seventeen_

**Imperfectly Compatible**

I latched the window shut, watching James's owl soar off into the sky and disappear.

"Sending love letters, Gracie?"

I jumped as I felt Sirius brush up beside me and I sighed wearily. "Yes, to Remus. I miss him already." I stuck my tongue out and stalked away.

"Okay, okay!" he chirped, trailing after me. "Who was it to?"

"My parents," I answered simply.

"Oh," he said, nodding his head and digging his hands in his pockets. "I already knew you've got a thing for Peter, anyway."

"Sirius!" I gasped furiously, and I reached out to slap him on the arm, but he darted away at the sound of James belting out from across the house.

"SIRIUS! GRACIE! GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW FOR SUPPER, YOU BUNCH OF LAZY ARSE LARDS—_ow_, Mum, what was that for?"

I glared at Sirius. "This is not over."

He ducked out of the room before I could do anything else, laughing manically. I arrived after him in the dining room and let out a little breath. Sirius hopped down at the table where everyone was already seated and nestled his way in like it was home.

"Gracie, dear, did Brisbie give you any trouble?" Mrs. Potter asked.

I sat down in the empty seat across from Sirius and next to Lily, and answered with a smile, "No, she's a great owl. Didn't bite me, which all the darn owls always seem to like to do. So, yep, great, thank you."

"No problem," she assured with a smile of her own. She was very motherly in all aspects; she and Mr. Potter were somewhat on the older side, but they were still quite friendly and lively.

James's parents started passing around the food—"Tuck in now," Mrs. Potter had said—and James and Sirius attacked it all, loading their plates. Lily giggled, taking everything timidly, and I followed her lead, feeling like a lost pet.

It was odd, being dragged into all of this. I had never been very close to James, and that made me feel like I didn't quite belong. I was just Lily's friend. I met eyes with Sirius who already had his mouth full, and he smiled guiltily. _Okay_, I admitted as I laughed at the look on his face, _I'm also just Sirius's friend_.

"So, Lily," Mr. Potter started, and James hesitated in his frantic food shoveling. It went by unnoticed. "It's so great to finally meet you. James has been talking about you every other breath for years, but when we went years without ever seeing you, we were beginning to wonder if you existed!"

The two parents laughed, and Lily flushed, smiling coyly. She brushed her hair out of her face and looked as if she was trying to come up with an appropriate response. James groaned, burying his face in his palm.

Sirius shot me a kick under the table and I winced.

"One galleon," he mouthed.

I contorted my face, suppressing an outburst as I remembered the bet from yesterday. He only winked and turned away.

Mrs. Potter folded her napkin, then glanced to Sirius and then to me. "Forgive me if I'm wrong, Gracie, dear, but we've never met you, either. Are you here with Sirius?" I felt my eyes grow wide unconsciously. "Is this like a double date? You children are odd these days, so you never know…"

Lily was choking on a laugh beside me as I felt my face change color. "Oh, no," I said quickly, focusing my panicked gaze on Mrs. Potter. I could not wander off and look at Sirius at a time like this. "Just a friend."

"Actually, she's seeing Peter," Sirius piped up, and my attempt to not look over at him fell immediately. "I caught her sending him a letter only earlier."

Strangled mirth was coming from both sides of the table as James and Lily attempted to control themselves from bursting out hysterically.

"Oh, Peter. I remember him," Mrs. Potter said fondly. "He was quite a sweet boy."

I tensed in my seat, glaring at Sirius. "I told you I was sending a letter to _Remus_, not Peter."

James sobered suddenly, staring. "Wait, so you're seeing Remus?"

"No! Merlin, Sirius, this is all your fault—"

He didn't hear me, though, because he was laughing too hard at his own incredibly genius joke.

I inhaled. "I'm sorry," I said to Mrs. Potter. "I'm not seeing _anyone_, despite what Sirius likes to make up."

"Well, that's all right," she replied happily, "Peter _is_ a sweet boy, though."

"Of course," I agreed. I proceeded to take a large bite of food so that my mouth would be occupied and I wouldn't have to say anything more.

"Why didn't you invite Remus or Peter, James?" Mr. Potter asked.

James swallowed, and looked up nonchalantly. "Because they have families of their own. Besides, you saw them last year for Christmas."

"Well, it is awfully nice to have some young company around the house," Mrs. Potter commented. "You should visit in the summer, girls. Keep the boys from stirring up trouble as they always seem so prone to doing."

"I'm afraid we can't stop them on most days," Lily admitted.

"But, you should know that James has really wised up this year. Very responsible Head Boy." I nodded to him, taking a sip from my glass.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "Probably helps that Lily is Head Girl."

James groaned again and his parents only laughed lightheartedly.

The evening proceeded as such, jokes and idle conversation tossed around the table, until a good portion of the food had disappeared and the sun had sunk far into the horizon.

"Oh, before I've forgotten," Mr. Potter said suddenly as we collected the plates and moved them into the kitchen, "We've only got two spare beds, so I'm afraid one of you will have to take the couch."

"I suppose we'll just leave you three to fight over that one. We've got wizard's chess in the living room if you need to take it to a match," said Mrs. Potter.

Lily, Sirius and I all shared a long glance, waiting for someone to sacrifice themselves up to the couch. We all stood on the edge until I internally decided that I might as well just offer myself, seeing as I didn't mind, and so I said, "I'll take the couch," in the same moment that Sirius offered.

We stared at each other.

"That's fine, I'll take it," I said.

"No, no, I insist," Sirius combated.

"Sirius, don't be difficult—"

Lily laughed, saying something off to the side about how she thought we'd be fighting over the beds, not the couch.

"You're the one being difficult here."

"Stop trying to be the noble knight in shining armor here—"

Lily said, "They actually always bicker like this."

"I'm not trying anything! I just want the couch."

"Why in the world would you want the couch?"

"Why _wouldn't_ I?"

"Because the bed's more comfortable!"

"Then why don't _you_?"

"Why should I?"

"Fine!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up. "Wizard's chess it is."

I gaped. "You know I'm terrible at that game."

"Well, it can't be helped. If you win, you get the couch."

"Sirius, you _always_ beat me! That's not fair!"

Mr. Potter smiled broadly, looking like he was anticipating a good game. "I'll go get the board."

We all moved to the living room, and after consecutive checks and close-calls and many rapid turn of events, Mrs. Potter, Lily, and James all declared themselves exhausted and dismissed themselves to their separate quarters.

And then, roughly forty-two minutes later, I was screaming victoriously.

"I BEAT YOU! I FINALLY BEAT YOU, SIRIUS BLACK! AFTER SEVEN YEARS! HA! HA! _HAAA!_"

"What an incredible game, Gracie," Mr. Potter commended.

I beamed with pride. "Thank you, Mr. Potter."

"And you too, Sirius, of course. I'll be back with the sheets for the couch in a moment, Gracie."

When he left, Sirius looked at me, pouting. "I don't see why you're so giddy. You won a week on the couch."

"Well," I said, and pressed my lips together, "I showed _you_, and that's all that matters."

"Mhm. Impressive."

"Thank you."

"I was being sarcastic."

"I'm going to pretend as if I didn't hear that."

"I think we should have a rematch," Sirius decided aloud. "Later. Tomorrow."

"I think not," I countered swiftly.

"Why? Afraid of losing? Because you know that I _am_ the chess master?"

"Go to sleep. Let me bask in my glory. Oh, thank you, Mr. Potter," I said as he brought the sheets for me.

"Sure," he replied briskly. "Goodnight, you two. Better get to bed."

"Okay, goodnight," we said in unison as he left again.

I spread the sheets over the couch and dropped the pillow emphatically. "Are you planning on standing there all night?" I asked as I moved to get my things to get ready for the night.

"Nope. Gonna get cozy in my _bed_."

I just rolled my eyes and bumped him with my hip playfully as I passed on my way to the bathroom. I went and changed into my nightclothes, brushed my teeth and hair, washed my face, and skipped back out, feeling bright and rejuvenated. I walked back into the room and found it empty, and congratulated myself silently on my victory while dropping down onto the couch.

I was about to sprawl out across the sheets when Lily burst into the room and leaped on the couch, knocking me out of the way in the process. She giggled, "Woops, sorry!"

I blinked, reorienting myself. "Have you taken any illegal substances, Lily?" I squinted my eyes, inspecting.

She took a deep breath. "What? No. I just wanted to ask if you thought his parents liked me." James's parents, she meant.

"Oh, yeah. They were absolutely gushing. You're the best thing they could hope for, I bet."

"Gushing." She giggled. "That's a bit of an exaggeration. So I didn't look like a mental case or anything?"

"Nope. They won't find out about _that_ part until after you two are married, at least." I winked at her.

She sighed with aggravation, but smiled and sank into the back of the couch. "Okay. That's all. I just couldn't contain myself." She turned to me. "So, how are you and _Sirius_?" She wiggled her eyebrows.

I reddened. "We are fantastic," I answered dismissively.

"Seems like it. James told me you looked about ready to snog the faces off each other yesterday."

"Did not!" I hissed.

She giggled again. I wondered absentmindedly if that was a disease and if so, if it was contagious. "Well, I'm not making that up. He really did say that."

I grumbled. She definitely had some sort of disease.

"So, did you kiss him?"

I glared. "No."

"Have you told him you fancy him?"

"No."

"Did you almost kiss him?"

"How do you almost kiss someone?"

"I don't know." She eyed me warily. "You did, didn't you?"

"Kiss him? No."

"_Almost_?"

"There is no such thing."

"You _did_! You almost kissed Sirius!" She gasped, backing away from me to properly evaluate my face in her shock. "This is controversial! This changes everything! You two are so close! This is strange! This—"

"_Shhh!_" I swatted at her fussily.

She just continued to giggle. I named her disease Compulsive Gigglitus. I would suggest she get checked out at St. Mungo's if the her case seemed to progress. "Oh, why did you ever want _Kenneth_? Sirius is so much better for you."

I buried my face in my pillow and said, "Shut up," but it sounded more like, _Uhh buuuuhhh_.

"No, really! You've always got this adorable smile when you're with him. Even if you're being mean or bickering or attacking him. It's always there with him."

I raised my head. "I'm going to murder you in your sleep."

"See, even now!" She proclaimed, waving her hands around energetically. "Just at the thought of him."

I closed my eyes and fell back in defeat.

"Well, I really am exhausted… and we've got another full day ahead of us. I suppose I'll let little Gracie get to sleep." She tousled my hair and stood. "See you tomorrow! Sweet dreams, goodnight!" She squealed with excitement, hugged me, and then left the room in a happy daze.

I threw my blanket over my face and tried to remember when she hadn't been so excitable and girly. And giggly. Oh, dear, James had infected her mind.

No, that wasn't true. She'd always been that way. Now she just didn't _stop_ being that way. I didn't mind, though, not really; it made me smile to see her that way, as much as I tried to hide it. She was cute. Especially with James.

The silence overwhelmed me, long moments lapsing onto another, and I felt myself falling out of consciousness until the sound of soft, approaching footsteps broke through.

"Lily, do you not understand the concept of _goodnight_?"

There was the sound of something light thudding to the ground. "Perhaps not."

I lowered the blanket. "Oh, Lily, what happened to you? You're starting to look like a man."

Sirius rubbed his chin with pride. "Well thank you."

I clicked my tongue. "James won't kiss you now."

He scrunched up his face. "You know, he never was a good kisser anyhow."

I laughed loudly, rolling over onto my stomach as Sirius sat down on the blanket he'd laid on the floor. I glanced at him questioningly.

"The sky looks wicked out here at night. This room has the best window." He gestured to the window on the wall opposite of us. "But you were being bloody stubborn and wouldn't give me the couch."

I glanced out the window momentarily, and then back to him. "I was just being polite at first, and then you made it like it was a game, so I couldn't back down." I grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. We can trade if you want."

"No," he said, "now you're stuck here. You got yourself in this. Have fun on the couch."

I sighed. "Oh well. Have fun on the floor then." We were silent for a moment, and I took note of his sleeping materials. "Do you want another blanket? Merlin knows you get cold easily."

"Then you'll be cold," he pointed out.

"Okay, compromise. Scoot over." He did, and I seemed to function without really thinking. I climbed down next to him, dragging my pillow and blanket with me. "We can share," I offered, and there was a great, bright light blinking in my head that was trying desperately to warn me, but I just looked at Sirius with a smile and ignored it. I tossed him the other side of the blanket and he took it gratefully.

"You really _do_ care more than you let on," he teased, smiling back widely.

"Maybe sometimes. But so help me, Sirius, if you snore, I will put a silencing charm on you in your sleep and then I might just choke you."

"Same for you," he said, "but I might just smother you with your pillow instead. That's more my style."

I rolled my eyes. "Very stylish choice."

"I do pride myself on my style," Sirius agreed heartily.

I exhaled, burying myself in blankets. "Go to sleep. Before I choke you and silence you. But not in that order."

"Fine. Goodnight, Gracie."

"Night, Sirius."

I nestled in the spot next to him, leaving a good feasible distance between the two of us. The light in my head had been skillfully ignored at first, but it was blaring in my vision now. The only sound in the room was our soft breathing and my obnoxiously loud heartbeat. I prayed that he might not be able to hear it.

"Gracie?"

I grunted. "Sirius."

"I'm cold."

I peeked my eyes open at him, observing his pleading face. "And tell me what exactly you want me to do about that?" I had meant it sarcastically, but it proved to be more stupid than anything else.

"Come here?"

Two little words. My heart hammered and I tried not to stare in disbelief, but everything stopped. He opened his arms, reaching out for me, and I vaguely wondered if I was already asleep and this was some kind of cruel dream.

Well, I slipped into the spot he made for me just in case I wasn't sleeping. Just in case. To be safe and all.

My thoughts became incoherent and I struggled to say something that sounded slightly intelligent or clever. But, instead, I found my mouth working without me, and I mumbled, "Why are you always so cold?" before I could stop myself. Perhaps not intelligent or clever, but he wrapped his arms around me and didn't seem to mind. I was glad for the closeness, because there was no way he could see the blush that had overwhelmed my face.

His breath tickled at my skin and sent shivers down my spine and did not help my sense of control whatsoever.

"Because," he answered, only a murmur, "I don't keep my personal heater around with me all the time."

I laughed, gazing up at him. "Is that all I am to you?"

"Hm. Maybe something more," he mused, looking me at me thoughtfully. The pause made my stomach flip. "Maybe a very nice personal heater."

"Aww, you're a sweetheart," I said, mock flattered, and closed my eyes again. I was enveloped in the warmth of his arms around me and leaned my head against his chest, deciding that if this was a dream, it was a very, very cruel dream.

He hummed an inaudible response, and we both fell silent, worlds of dark surrounding us. After a few longer moments, I heard him say, "Goodnight, Gracie."

"Night," I whispered.

I was falling back into the wonderful lands of slumber when I felt him kiss my forehead. The feeling of his lips on my skin lingered, even long after he had pulled away, and my body burned with electricity. "Thought I owed you that after the night in the hospital wing," he teased.

I flinched, and punched him in the stomach without force to hide my embarrassment. He hadn't really been asleep that night. Oh, Merlin.

He only laughed.

And that's the sound I fell asleep to, Sirius's laugh, drifting through my quiet mind and beckoning me into the black night.

* * *

The next morning I woke slowly, drifting in and out of sleep continuously. I would just lie there, peek my eyes open, glance at Sirius's face, laugh, and then fall right back asleep. His arms had fallen from around me, but rested between the two of us instead, gently touching my own arms and emanating heat that rose to my cheeks.

When I woke and he wasn't there, though, I took the opportunity to steal the blanket all for myself and curl around it. I'd closed my eyes again quickly and basked in silent accomplishment when James's voice jolted through the silence.

"I don't think she's awake," he said, and I held my breath, going as still as possible. I didn't want to wake up yet, so I decided to just pretend. "Are you, Gracie?"

I heard someone shift and I imagined they were examining my face. I had practiced this often as a child. I could still pull off a sleeping face. No one would know. I could just go back to sleep without being bothered…

"She's asleep," Sirius said, and I felt odd sparks run up and down my arms. Random.

"All I'm saying," said James, seeming as if he was continuing on a tangent he'd started earlier, "is that you should be glad that I'm the one that walked on this, Padfoot."

"I already told you what happened," Sirius groaned, and it was a peculiar sound. A mix of impatience and irritation. Something he didn't normally sound like with James.

"It still doesn't make sense, though," James argued. "I mean, you're acting really strange lately, aren't you? First, you were talking rubbish about her boyfriend every chance you got. Then you're always staring at her like you've gone mental and now you're snuggling up with her because you want to see the stars that were just the same as they were yesterday and will be just the same tomorrow."

"Prongs, shut it, you'll wake her," he hissed. Sirius didn't point out that stars are always changing, as they're big, bright, brilliant balls of gas, but maybe he didn't know.

James's words were very… very… foreign. Ambiguous, also, I made note to remind myself, but not too _ambiguous_. It seemed to be glaring at me, desperate for my attention, and I wanted to acknowledge it, but I shied away from what was sitting in front of me and decided James was talking about something entirely different. Something that had nothing to do with me.

Even though it obviously was me…

But, what? I'd thought something about Sirius seemed odd, but what was James _saying_? There was no way on Earth that I could just assume anything like that…

"Anyway," Sirius said, and I nearly flinched at the interruption of my thoughts. "You're right. I have."

"Have what?"

"Gone mental."

Just another two words, and my heart went as still as my body. His voice sounded years away.

"No, mate, wouldn't say you've gone _mental_," James countered, and then sniggered. "Not yet, anyway."

I heard someone get to their feet. "It's no matter. I'm not planning on… ruining anything."

My mouth felt dry. I had no idea what to even feel. Wasn't I supposed to be rejoicing? Where was all this dread coming from? I suddenly wanted to vomit.

I stirred in my spot and the room was silent. I waited, longing to calm my mind and my pulsing heart, until the silence was too overwhelming and I braced myself to face them. I waited for minutes, agonizing minutes that felt like hours.

I opened my eyes, and the room was empty.

* * *

Later that afternoon, James's owl, Brisbie, returned in front of me, pecking at me with her sharp beak. There was a letter in her beak, and I stared without comprehending before I took it from her. The day had passed normally before that. James's parents had gone out to buy last minute gifts and get groceries for dinner, and we'd been alone for a majority of the day. James had dragged us to a lake by his house and then Sirius had complained that it was 'too bloody cold to think' and we'd all run back inside and made hot chocolate.

"Thank you," I said to Brisbie, a bit awkwardly. I didn't have any owl treats, and she seemed to be waiting for one. Lily glanced over at Brisbie and then to me.

"I'll ask Mrs. Potter if she has any treats," she supplied helpfully, and I thanked her before she left the room.

I gingerly opened the letter and glazed over the thin writing.

_Dear Grace, _

_It's lovely that your friend has invited you to stay at his house for the holiday. I hope you get on well with his parents and behave. I wouldn't want to hear from them about you causing any trouble. _

_Your father and I have been talking lately and we'd like to ask that you come visit home for the Yule holiday, if you will. We know that you're visiting your friends, but it is important to your father and I that we speak to you about some things. It's all right if you choose not to, but if you would consider it, we'd greatly appreciate it. _

_Write back with your answer as soon as you can._

_Mum_

I stared blankly at the letter, and bit my knuckles to contain myself. A feeling loomed over me suddenly and I started trembling. The longer I stared at the writing, the more terrible and haunted I felt.

"Gracie, what's wrong?" Lily returned with a treat for Brisbie, who accepted it heartily and hopped away. Lily rushed to my side and wrapped an arm around me.

At the gesture, I gave in and the tears overflowed.

"Oh, you're crying! Gracie! Is everything all right? What did the letter…" She glanced at the writing warily, and her expression seemed to guess that someone died or something tragic of the sort.

I shook my head quickly, gathering a breath and wiping my face. "It's nothing, it was just my parents. And I'm…surprised."

"Surprised?"

"My parents asked me to spend Christmas with them. Well, not the whole break."

She raised an eyebrow.

"I just, didn't expect it. I'm a little overwhelmed, and… confused…"

"So am I. Are you all right?"

I nodded. "It's just, you know, my parents." I looked at her and bit my lip to control myself, but the thoughts spilled back into my head and the tears were hot in my eyes. No control at all. I'd never spoken to anyone about my parents because I didn't know how to explain it, but before I could always hide it when I was upset. Now I was practically bawling and I couldn't even form a comprehensible explanation.

Sirius and James came in then, and if I had any more coherence, I would have been cursing my luck. They'd been laughing but stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of the two of us.

"Lily!" Sirius gasped. "Why did you make Gracie cry?" He was only teasing, but he looked geniuinely concerned as well. "Gracie, why are you crying?"

I shook my head again, determined to get a grip on myself, but Sirius rushed over and it happened all over again. I was crying waterfalls from my eyes and it could not have been pretty at all.

Sirius took me in his arms, stealing me from Lily, and held me against him. "What's wrong, love?"

I hiccupped, suddenly feeling very dizzy. My mind swarmed. I wanted to concentrate on that feeling of his arms around me, that feeling that was becoming so familiar lately. Or the fact that he'd called me 'love.'

_Love_… oh, Merlin, that made me cry harder.

But I could hardly concentrate on any of that. My thoughts bounced from telling myself that this was a good sign, that my parents wanted to reconcile things, that no matter how much I'd ruined things in the past, I could reconcile with them, we could be happy again, we could start over, I didn't have to be scared, I didn't have to be someone I wasn't, I didn't, I wouldn't, they wouldn't make me, but what if they did? Then what did I do? And why now? What? Why was I even crying? But I hadn't spoken to them since summer! And now. Now…

"Oh, ah…" I heard James's unsteady voice, somewhere far from me. "I think I heard my name. Hm, Lily, let's go see if my parents need something."

There was a shuffling of feet and then it was quiet, just heartbeats and breathing. Sirius stroked my hair, rubbing circles in the small of my back.

"It's nothing," I murmured finally. "Nothing really. I'm overreacting."

He made a noise like he didn't believe a word I said. "What is it?"

I inhaled, the scent of coconut and ginger all wrapping into one. Sirius and the house. A pleasant scent. Calming. "My parents."

"Are they okay?"

"They're fine," I said quietly. "They want me to go see them. Before I go back to school."

He seemed to hesitate. "Well, that's great."

"I know." I took another deep breath and steadied myself. No more tears. No more tears… "I just freaked out. It's, I don't know… a lot of pressure. I can't… handle this."

"How so?"

It took all of my strength to wriggle out of his grip and face him. He looked into my eyes, sincerity everywhere in the grey depths, and I wanted to fall back into his chest and not say another word. But I didn't. "I dunno really," I admitted, and wrapped my arms around myself self-consciously. "My family's just messed up. Distant."

"Hm." He internalized it in silence.

I was grateful that my eyes had dried now, and I wiped the tears from my face, willing the scratchiness away. "And then I see James's family, and the way they adore him. And I think of Lily's family, and the way they're so proud of her for being a witch…"

Sirius met my gaze again and held it firmly. "Think of my parents. That ought to cheer you up." He smiled, but sadly.

I frowned. "I'm sorry. I'm… I didn't mean to sound insensitive."

"You didn't," he assured me, smiling a bit brighter this time. "My parents are like yours in a way. Except I don't live with them anymore, of course."

I sighed and leaned my head on his shoulder. He didn't say anything, and neither did I. The silence was comfortable and it was all that I wanted. Just a moment with Sirius, knowing he was here for me to lean on. That was all I wanted. All I needed, really.

"I don't want to talk about me," I decided. "Tell me about your family."

"Why?"

"You've never told me about your family."

"You've never told me about yours," he replied easily.

"I guess I just never saw the need," I admitted, and it was true. It wasn't necessary.

"I only ever told James," Sirius said quietly, voice hitting a tone I hadn't ever quite heard before. "Because he'd pester me constantly as to why I couldn't visit over the summer. He wouldn't let up. So I told him. Remus and Peter know some, but just bits and pieces. I just never fancied wasting my breath on the subject."

"You can waste your breath on it now."

He paused, thoughtfully, perhaps, and then asked, "What do you want to know?"

I bit my lip. "Why did you run away?"

I felt his shoulder stiffen, but only slightly. "Because I'd suffered enough abuse. Not just verbal." He looked at the ground. "Never was quite what they wanted. Pissed 'em off to no end. Mum probably blasted my name of the bloody family tree. She likes to do that," he muttered crossly. "What _haven't_ you run away?"

He posed the question like it was a normal thing, running away. "Because I've never…needed to. Life isn't unlivable. I'm fed and all. No one's ever hit me, except for once, when Mum was livid. But I… I dunno. I've just never been adored. I wasn't abused." I looked at him for a long moment, feeling guilty. "But I kind of do run away, you know? I go to school for months at a time and don't see my parents. Don't even write, except when I need to."

"That's what I told myself for years." Sirius exhaled. "But even the short months during the summer were too much. I ended up just shaming the whole lot. The Ancient and Noble House of Black. Shamed them." He smiled despite it, like it was something to be proud of. "Why did your mum ever hit you?"

I straightened, collecting myself. "It was after first year… I asked her if she'd show me a bit of magic… Just one spell. She refused. Said I was a savage, a brute… And I got upset with her and took my wand and made all her pots and pans disappear." I paused, the memory lighting beneath my eyelids. "She slapped me across the face when I got a warning from the Ministry for underage magic. She hates the Ministry. They scare her out of her wits. But then she shouted at me to bring the pots and pans back anyways."

He stared at me. "Did you?"

"No," I answered simply. "I reminded her that the Ministry would contact us again if I did and she sent me to my room for cheek. The pots and pans were back the next day, though."

"How?"

I shrugged. "I guess she had no choice but to use magic. I never asked."

"And both your mum and dad are magical?"

I nodded. "Pureblooded, too."

"Hachette… that's an odd one. I don't remember it. I studied all the Pureblood surnames for years. My parents forced me."

"The Hachettes are an American family. You probably didn't study American lineage, did you?"

"Oh, no. You're American? You don't talk funny." He raised a brow.

I smiled and shook my head. "Just my dad. My mum's English, and I was born here. Mum's an Abbott."

"Well, I know them," Sirius said. "Aunt Cassiopeia used to tell me that the Abbotts were disgraceful because they were an ancient and pure line until they started marrying muggles." He laughed to himself, running a hand through his hair. "So your parents are basically pureblooded muggles then?"

"Basically," I said. "They're…unique."

"What Houses were they?"

"Mum was Ravenclaw, Dad was Hufflepuff."

"Which House did they want you in?"

I shrugged. "They never even told me their Houses. I had detention one night in second year and found it in Filch's files. Records of house points when they were in school."

"Hm," was all Sirius said, and he leaned back against the wall, looking lost in thought. "Your parents are quite exceptional, I would say." He eyed me cautiously. "Why do they live as muggles, anyway?"

"They'd never speak of it. They only thing Mum ever did tell me was that she thought I was becoming evil like the rest of the witches and wizards in the world. She said it a lot when she was angry."

"What about your dad?"

"He doesn't ever say much. He's always working. Drinking, staying out late… Mum told me once in one of her rages that he's home much more often when I'm gone."

He looked surprised, and I felt a pain in my stomach.

"But they don't hit me," I said gently. "It can't be as bad as your house."

"Well, I don't live there anymore, so that helps things." He grinned.

"What did they do to you?"

He nestled into his spot. "Well. When I got home for summer after first year, my father was so outraged that I'd been sorted into the House of 'blood traitors and mudbloods' that he'd beat me over the head whenever I did something slightly out of line. He was always strict, but he went insane after that. My mum would lecture me every night on the importance of blood purity and Salazar Slytherin's nobility. And when I didn't listen, she'd slap me." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Needless to say, I didn't listen all that often."

"Oh, Sirius, you moron. You just hurt yourself needlessly. You could have at least pretended to listen."

He shrugged. "I enjoyed annoying them. I hung up all sorts of obnoxious things in my room. And I'd get in trouble and the professors would write home, and they'd be furious. But then the professors stopped writing home because it didn't really solve any issues."

I sighed. "Defiant little bugger."

"Hey, you used to cause trouble with me. You'd hang around James and me all the time, don't you remember?"

"Of course I do," I said. "And then you two befriended Remus and Peter, and Peter though I was a nutcase for months so he wouldn't even speak to me." I rolled my eyes, finding a smile. "And I'd hang around with Lily, when she wasn't with Mary or Snape."

"Mmh." I was grateful he didn't make a Snivellus comment. He tilted his head back and staring at the ceiling. "You and I, Gracie, we're failures of children. At least from our parents' point of view. We're pretty compatible, you know?"

"I don't know about compatible. But we're definitely _something_."

He nudged me in the shoulder, and I just laughed, falling back into his side. He turned to me, brushing his hand across my face as if he was checking for tears. And we looked at eachother for a moment, searching each other's eyes for something, until I just smiled and leaned back into him.

What would I have done without this boy?

I pushed the letter away, longing for it to leave my mind for good. I'd deal with it later. With a brave face. When I found one.

* * *

_A/N:_

_I CAN BE YOUR HERO BAAABAY, I CAN KISS AWAY THE PAIN, I WILL STAND BY YOU FOREVER, YOU CAN TAKE MY BREATH AWAAAAAYYYYY_

_Heh, can you tell I listened to Hero by Enrique Iglesias on repeat while writing this? It's stuck in my head, like, forever :x_

_Well I don't care, you're here tonight…I CAN BE YOUR HERO, BABY_

_Just kidding, that was good ol' Enrique again. Anyways, thanks so much for reading and THANK YOU bunches to everyone who's reviewed and especially to the favoriters/alerters 'cus there seems to be more of you than the other. Which is not necessarily good but I'll take what I can get._

_Leave a review and I'll never sing Enrique Iglesias to you again? :) teehee_

_And also big sorry that I didn't get this update out sooner! I was busy all week and stuff and I got home exhausted every day and my summer's gradually getting more hectic and etc so updates will probably be slower but I promise I'll get them out eventually. And if they're slow, most likely they'll be tremendously long like this one! I actually wanted to include more… sorry if I killed anyone with this. OKAY BYE FOR NOW_


	18. A Demonic Ball of Fur

_Chapter Eighteen_

**A Demonic Ball of Fur**

The world spun in a sickening blur and the colors were everywhere and everything; I felt my feet hit the ground and it all focused, swirling back down into solid figures and elements. My house materialized around me and I released a contained breath.

"Still have all your limbs?"

Sirius's loosened his grip on my hand and shot me a look. "Just because I'm not the _best _at apparating…" He held up the vase he'd been gripping with his left arm with pride. "And I'm making up for my mistakes!"

"Mum will love it," I told him, and glanced around at the empty living room. "Well, I don't know where they are. I'll give you a tour, let's go."

I ushered him to follow and we walked throughout the house. I showed him the living room and the dining room and the bathrooms and bedrooms and everything else in between, all which were oddly vacant. We got to the back of the house and I peered out through the window.

"Oh, they're on the patio," I said slowly. "Drinking tea or something. Well, leave the vase on the counter. Guess it's time to say hello. You ready?"

He shrugged. "Guess so."

"Are you nervous?"

"A little. I don't really know why," he laughed, shaking his arms in an attempt to ward it off.

"You didn't _have_ to come, you know," I reminded him. "You could still always back out if you want. Just apparate away and no one will ever know you were even here."

He sighed. "I'm not that cowardly. Plus, your parents okay'd it, and I'm doing this for you. No backing out now."

"So noble," I said, and then dragged him to the back door. "Let's just get this over with."

When I opened the door, my parents both looked up immediately, and foreign expressions lit their features. I stopped in the doorway, slightly taken aback by the way they were looking at us, until Sirius gently pushed me forward so he could close the door.

"Grace!" My mother jumped to her feet and walked over to us, enveloping me and then Sirius in a hug. I was perplexed but didn't want to point out her oddity. My dad appeared behind her, wrapping me in his arms briefly and then shaking Sirius's hand. I stared at the two blankly, but neither noticed.

"It's nice to meet you, Sirius," my father said, and Sirius nodded politely, telling him the same.

"Did you two have any trouble getting here?" my mother asked.

I shook my head. "No, it was fine."

They looked so joyful. I didn't get it.

"Did you show him around the house, Grace?"

"Yeah. Oh, he brought you a gift, Mum." I turned to him, grinning slightly.

"Right! I left it in the kitchen. Um, it's just a vase," he said timidly, scratching his head and smiling with a corner of his mouth.

"Let's get inside, it's a bit chilly out here," Mum said, and the four of us trailed back indoors. Mum gasped. "Oh, Sirius, how thoughtful. It's lovely, thank you."

"Well, ah… it's no problem," he said. I knew he wanted to say, 'I owed you after the one I broke,' but he didn't seem to want to bring up buried things.

She took the vase and placed it in on a coffee table in the living room, then returned. "It looks brilliant. Sets the room off nicely. Well, are you two hungry? Your father and I ate already because we weren't sure when to expect you. I'll warm the food."

Sirius and I shared a look, and he raised his eyebrows, asking me how it was going. I returned a look that translated as, 'Surprisingly good,' and Sirius nodded.

Something had definitely happened to my parents.

* * *

"Thanks for dinner, Mum," I said, joining her by the sink. She reached to wash a plate and I took it from her. "I got it, don't worry."

"Thank you, Grace. Where did Sirius wander off to?"

"He's just showering," I said simply, moving the plates from under the running faucet to the dishwasher in swift movements.

"Oh, well, your father and I wanted to talk to you about something—maybe we should leave the dishes for a bit and go talk in the living room."

I tensed, staring at the water as it spilled over the plates. I reminded myself that I'd seen this coming and shut it off. "Okay," I said. She walked off to the living room, where my dad already was, and I sat on the couch and faced them. "What is it?"

"Grace, honey," my dad started, and dread filled my insides like poison. "I'm being transferred to America for work. Your mother and I will be moving in a couple of months."

I blinked. Moving? "Um. Why?" Dad worked with electronics. That was all I really knew.

"Why are we being transferred, you mean?"

I only stared.

"Well, there's a higher demand for people of my position there than there is here. And your mother and I wanted to know…" He hesitated and then glanced at her for help.

She readily cut in. "We wanted to know your decision, for your future."

"My future?" I repeated. "My career?"

"No… what do you think of living as a witch?"

"Mum." I looked at her seriously. "I am a witch. I'm not _living _as a witch. I ___am _one."

She and my father shared a look, and then she collected a breath, searching for patience. "I know, Grace. But it's your lifestyle I'm asking about. We need to know how you'll choose to live after you've graduated."

"As a witch," I told her directly, "because that's what I am."

My father's expression fell. "I'm sure you're aware that there is a wizarding war currently going on."

"Of course," I said, straightening my back. "I'm the one that lives in the wizarding world for most of the year."

"You being on your own in the midst of a war…" My mother trailed off, looking at the floor.

It surprised me that my parents knew anything about the war, and I wondered just how much they did really know. I'd always figured they'd cut themselves off completely, but there was plenty I didn't know about my parents. I guess they did still have some sort of communication with the wizarding world. They still received owls, after all.

"So, what… what are my options, if I am living as a witch?" I asked. The whole idea of living as a muggle was incredibly ridiculous; of course I had nothing against muggles, but I wasn't one, and I wasn't about to pretend.

"I don't know," Mum admitted quietly. "Your father and I will be living in America and as far as your own living situations…"

"If you had considered living normally, we would have suggested you come along after you'd graduated." I cringed at his idea of 'living normally.' "But if you're choosing to be a witch, I suppose you wouldn't want to move away from the people you already have here."

"And so what then?"

The two of them shared another long look, until my mother finally spoke up again.

"Your father and I have been discussing this for a while now, and we still do not approve of a… magical lifestyle. However, we've allowed you to develop in that community and seeing as you are an adult, it is your choice how you live. Your father and I, however, will not pretend to approve." She paused with difficulty. "But, whatever you do choose, we will eventually accept, because you are our daughter and we have to trust your own judgment."

My father stirred. "We can send you money for a while until you are able to support yourself so you can afford a flat and bills and groceries and such. You'll need to get a job, though, because we won't be paying for you forever. Understood?"

My eyes were wide with disbelief, and I nodded quickly.

"What are you interested in pursuing as far as a career?" he asked.

"A…writer. For the Daily Prophet," I answered. "They make fairly good money, depending on how popular the column is."

"Well, that sounds like an idea," Mum said, folding her hands in her lap. "Grace, this war, though, it worries me… What will you do when you graduate?"

"I don't know," I said. "I haven't really… thought it all through."

"Don't do anything reckless. This war is serious business, and I know how you are." Did she? I wanted to argue it, but she continued. "My sister was murdered by a dark wizard, Grace, and I don't want you to end up… with that fate."

My heart was suddenly very loud in my chest. "Your sister? I had an aunt?" What the hell? How could she just say it now, like this?

"You have several," my father said. "We do not associate with many members of our families."

Well, I knew that. "Why didn't you ever tell me about her?"

"The subject divided my family before you were ever born," she said, looking torn. "Several family members were involved in her death. They were involved in the Dark Arts. And when I spoke against them, I was accused of being disloyal to my family." She looked about ready to choke.

Everything suddenly felt as if it had been flipped upside down. I felt almost as if I would fall off of my chair. My family had been involved in the Dark Arts...

"Similar events occurred within my own family," my father said, but his expression was much stronger. "Your mother and I decided when we were married that we did not need anything to do with magic. The darkness… it tainted our families. They were blinded against their own evil. They didn't understand what atrocities they had done to their own flesh and blood."

"But… they're…" I shook my head frantically. "Sure, there are dark witches and wizards. But not _all _of them are like that."

My father said, "It's not always so easy to tell."

"I know plenty of good magical folk," I said adamantly. "Only a few really rotten ones."

"All we want you to remember, Grace, is that everyone is not always who they appear to be." She looked at me, long and hard, drilling the sentence into my mind. "I've told you, we'll grow to accept whatever you choose. It will be difficult for us, but it's your life and your choice. And we trust that you will be the kind of person we can be proud of."

I wrapped my arms around myself and stared at my foot. "Okay," I said after the silence had stretched out for some time. "I won't be changing my mind, though. So you can't either."

Mum nodded, and I wanted so badly to know why things had been the way they were for so long. Why they hadn't told me this before, why they'd isolated me and made me so miserable. Because a dark wizard had killed my aunt, and I was magical, too, and didn't know any better? It didn't seem fair.

I didn't say anything, though, and neither did they.

The sentence drifted through my mind subconciously, again and again, and again, and again...

_...Everyone is not always who they appear to be..._

* * *

"Come on!" I yanked on Sirius's hand, pulling him up from the couch.

He groaned loudly, eyes only half open. "_Ughh… _I just want to _sleeeep_…" He seemed to grow heavier with drowsiness, like a dead weight on my arm.

"It's only two. You shouldn't be this tired." After an evening of my parents making idle chit-chat with the two of us, they'd grown tired and dismissed themselves to bed. Sirius had crashed on the couch and I'd run around the house restlessly, reading books or drawing or tasting random things from the fridge.

"Two in the _morning!_" He groaned again, hands shooting up to cover his face, and I just laughed.

"All right... but, hey, I couldn't sleep, and I figured we could use some brownies."

"Brownies." He said it flatly, as if the word was unfamiliar to him. Either that or the sleep had yanked away the connection in his mind.

"Yes. Warm, yummy, chocolaty goodness. It will wake you up," I assured him, nodding with emphasis. Somewhere in my mind, it occurred to me that I should mention what my parents had told me to Sirius. After all, he had come all this way just to support me so that I wouldn't be so damn afraid of my own parents. It'd been incredibly thoughtful, and his own suggestion completely. Plus, I hadn't wanted to be alone, even if it was just for a day. Sirius always seemed to make things brighter. And when I thought about it, what my parents and I had discussed, it was good, wasn't it? I wasn't being abandoned when they left.

But, then again, I didn't want to think about it. What my parents had said about my aunt. I didn't want to think about their expressions when they talked about _magic_ or how they'd been proclaimed disloyal. I didn't want to think about how divided it all was.

Sirius mumbled sleepily, eyes refusing to open all the way, and I dragged him into the kitchen. I decided I wouldn't tell him, not now. I wouldn't even really think about it unless I had to. Sirius lulled along, unconsciously complying.

I dropped his hand and he collapsed on a stool by the kitchen counter, dropping his head lazily on the surface. I left him there and went to gather the materials, reading the list aloud. "So, I need flour, and two eggs, and baking soda, and… oh, there's a mix in the cabinet. Where did I put the chocolate? I need to put that on the double boiler and melt it…"

I shot Sirius a glance, but he didn't reciprocate; he was already snoring softly.

"Sirius!"

He jolted upright suddenly, eyes wide. "Ah! Gracie! _What?_"

I laughed and leaned onto the counter. "Sorry. But you have to help me. Here, crack the eggs." I pushed a bowl towards him and moved to collect two eggs from the kitchen. I slid it across the counter to him.

He stared blankly. "Crack the eggs? With what?"

"Crack it on the side of the bowl."

"Can I use my wand?"

"No," I said, rolling my eyes. "We are in a muggle community and therefore magic is prohibited."

"_Why,_" he moaned, grudgingly taking an egg and holding it up before his eyes, like he was inspecting it. "What kind of egg is this? A dragon? Or a hippogriff?"

"I don't think hippogriffs are born in eggs. It's a chicken."

"Hippogriffs are born in eggs. I learned it in Care of Magical Creatures."

"No, they're not. They're part horse. It's a live birth."

"Just because _you _didn't listen in class…"

I smacked him on top of his head. "Crack the egg, will you?"

He swore loudly but took the egg and held it up against the bowl anyway. "What do I do?"

"Just…Merlin, hit it against the side so it cracks."

And, so, as told, he did.

But he'd obviously never cracked an egg before. It splattered all over the side of the bowl and onto the counter top, an instant mess of shattered shell and egg white and yolk. He raised his head slowly to gauge my expression and see if he'd done it right.

I stared at the catastrophe, unblinking. "Maybe I should have shown you how first."

"Oops."

I took my wand from my pocket and raised the remnants from the counter. Sirius gasped with horror.

"Magic! Magic is prohibited in this muggle community, Grace Hachette—"

I flicked my wrist and the egg hit him in the face with a splat.

He ceased his speaking, and just blinked, a mass of egg white dripping down his face.

"There are exceptions to every rule," I said coolly.

I turned away briefly to gather the rest of the materials. Slowly, ever so slowly, Sirius stood, the shells and yolk spilling over his shoulders and onto the floor, and walked over to me.

"What are you doing?" I interrogated at once.

He didn't answer, just kept walking until I had backed myself up into the corner. I threw my hands out and tried keeping him back, but he just latched his hands around my wrists and pulled my arms to my side.

"Sirius!" I shrieked, but my authority subsided in a fit of laughter.

He tried to keep his face slack, but there was a smile twitching at his lips, and before I could muster anymore strength to push him away, he brushed his slimy egg white cheek against my face.

"No! Get off! Ew!" But I was laughing too hard, and the only thing I managed to do was flail my arms pitifully while he took advantage of my immobility and tickled my sides.

"Ahem," he said, clearing his throat, and my laughter and arm flailing had increased by ten at that point, "were you saying something?"

I was a giggling mess, thrashing in his hold violently, gasping for breath between laughing fits. "Sirius, stop! Stop!"

"No? You didn't say anything?"

"_Sirius!"_

"Fine." He smirked and stopped, throwing his hands up. "We're even."

I took a desperate breath for air, refilling my exhausted lungs. "Yeah, sure," I said, waving him off. Then I reached back for my wand, "Here, let me just clean up that face for you," and sprayed him in the face with water.

"_Gracie!" _he gasped melodramatically, "All right, now you are _really_ asking for it…"

"No! Stop! Stay back! _Aguamenti!_"

"Fine, fine, two can play this game," he said, the corners of his mouth turning upwards, and he grabbed for his wand. I was about to disarm him when he shot a splash of water at me and my words became a gurgle.

I choked and laughed, sounding more like an obscene guffaw, and retaliated with another jet of water at his face.

"Gracie, you do _not know _when to stop!"

"I don't?" Another jet of water. "Do I?" And another. "Nope." Another. "I don't." And a last.

He sputtered up the water, wiping his face frantically and shooting water back my way. We were both sending gushing streams of water at each other and he squirmed to run away, but the floor had slicked over in the midst of the battle, and he slipped and pulled me down after him.

"Sirius!" I screeched, falling in a heap beside him.

He laughed hysterically, sprawled out on the floor in defeat and staring up at the ceiling. A long moment lapsed, the two of us heaving for breath, completely still. And then Sirius asked, "Weren't we supposed to be making brownies?"

* * *

James tackled Sirius, screaming uncontrollably and shaking him like a salt shaker. "WAKE UP, YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING TOS—"

Lily slapped his arm before he could finish his sentence, and he shot her a sheepish smile before returning to scream in Sirius's ear. Sirius and I had returned the night before on Christmas Eve. It was well into morning now, and James looked like he'd had too much energy contained all week and was only expelling it now.

"Sirius, wake up, mate! We've been waiting for you to wake up for hours! Hours I tell you! _Hours!"_

Sirius rolled over, aiming a kick at James in the stomach.

"Hell, Padfoot, how long are you going to sleep for? Till next Christmas?"

"I'm awake! Bloody bright awake! Get off of me, Prongs, before I hex your eyes out!"

I sighed and moved James aside, kneeling by the couch in front of Sirius's face. "Look, James, I'll show you how it's done." I planted one of the many gifts Lily and I had spent the night before wrapping in front of his face. "Wake up, Sirius! I've got a present for you."

He peeked an eye open, then spotted the gift and sat upright at once. "I'm up, didn't I tell you? I'm up. Perfectly awake."

I rolled my eyes, smiling knowingly. "You're too predictable, honestly."

James proceeded to be much too excitable, tossing around a few of the gifts under the Christmas tree that Lily and I had also skillfully assembled the night before. While James dragged Lily along to show her which one was for her, I nudged Sirius to open his.

"From you?" he asked, slowly sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

I nodded.

He tore at the paper in a daze, throwing it aside. He peered at the label on the box, stared, processed, and then snapped his head back up.

"No! You didn't! It's not?"

I shrugged, smiling only the slightest.

He tore it open, wrenching a piece of fudge from inside the box and stuffing it in his mouth. He exhaled emphatically with content and swallowed. "I love you. I definitely love you." He set the oversized box of fudge beside him and opened his arms. "Come here, you. You need a proper hug for your saintliness."

I accepted his hug, snuggling into his warm arms, and laughed. "You're so simple. How did I know you'd be happy with just fudge, of all things?"

"I'm wondering the same thing. You're a genius. A saintly genius."

Suddenly Sirius stood and pulled me to my feet, dragging me out of the room. "Where are we going?" I asked.

"To get your present," he answered simply. "Now, I'll warn you ahead of time, um… watch your fingers."

I raised my brows. "Are you hiding a dragon somewhere?"

"No, but pretty close," said Sirius as he pushed open James's bedroom door. I'd never been inside, and I took a moment while Sirius scurried away to get the present to observe it. The walls were a plain white, like the snow outside, adorned by various Gryffindor stripes and emblems. There was a single Chudley Cannons poster, along with the scrawled script 'We Shall Conquer' beneath it.

I snorted. "Doesn't James know the Cannons never win? Their seeker's terrible. I heard they changed their motto to, 'Let's all just keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best.'"

"He has a dream of getting picked for the team and resurrecting its glory," Sirius answered absently, occupied in the corner with a heap of blankets. "Here, come here, Gracie."

I walked to him and glanced over his shoulder to see what had been hiding in the blankets.

Sirius turned, holding out his hands to me, and I shrieked with surprise. There was a kitten curled up under his fingers, pawing at him playfully. It's coat was golden yellow with streaks of white, the fur all fluffed and standing on end. It stared up at me with large blue crystal eyes, mesmerized.

"Sirius! It's—oh good Merlin, it's so adorable! How—what—can I hold him?"

"Yeah. But, watch out, it's a demon—" He stopped as it ran into my hands and relaxed on my lap. "Wait, I swear it's evil. It's just tricking you now."

"Shh," I said, waving him away. "Don't listen to the mean boy, I know you're a sweetheart."

"It bit me only this morning! And it hid in James's blankets for hours…"

It nipped at my finger, and I giggled, stroking the kitten's back. "It's only playing. He's sweet! And so cute. Look at him!"

Sirius smiled in spite of himself. "I saw him at the store and for some reason it wouldn't leave me alone. Me and James were just looking for owl treats and the thing chased me around the store. I wanted to shoo it away, but it was…well. Annoying, but kind of like you."

"Wow, Sirius, how absolutely touching."

"Well, you know I don't like cats. But this was different." He stared at it, poking it with his finger. It pawed at him again, and he glanced up at me.

I placed the kitten on the floor and threw my arms around Sirius. "Thank you! So much! It's so cute! You're so sweet! I can't believe you bought me a kitten!"

"Ow, you're shouting in my ear," Sirius said, trying to squirm out of my grip teasingly.

"I love you, stupid dudder brain!" I kissed him on the cheek and darted away quickly, taking the kitten back in my hands. I raised it up to my face and kissed it, too, on the nose.

Sirius just laughed beside me, sounding a bit sleepy again. "Happy Christmas, Gracie."

* * *

_A/N: Okay, so do people in England say Happy Christmas or Merry Christmas? I did a search once and it said that most English people say 'Merry Christmas,' and that 'Happy Christmas' is more of an older-time thing, but in Harry Potter that's what they all say, and I did another search just now, and I got happy instead of merry. SO, if you live in England or the surrounding area, I would love to know! I just stuck with happy because that's what JKR did._

_ANYWAYS, thanks the kitten idea was completely suggested and so I decided to use the idea. Thanks to CrackHeadBlonde for suggesting it ;)_

_Alsoooo, just a little notice, I'm leaving to go see my nana soon. (I'm getting on a plane at one in the morning on Wednesday… what? Why mom whyyy) I'll be gone for three weeks, and I won't be bringing my laptop. However, my nana has one, so I should be able to write, and I'll bring my handy-dandy notebook for all of my planning as well, but if I'm able to update they will be considerably slower. :/ Sorry. Not much I can do about that. I'll be at the beach a lot, though, so maybe I'll write a chapter about the beach… teehee. I sooo need to get away from my house though._

_Anyway, that's all, hope you enjoyed the chapter and Happy Christmas to you all ;) Just kidding, it's summer here for goodness sakes! Thanks for reading and leave a review all of you lovely people! :D_

Sirius: *glances at fudge* …Um. You want some?

Gracie: YES PLEASE! *tackles*

Sirius: Arggh, Gracie, not you, get off! You have a kitten, what do you need fudge for?

Gracie: I can't _eat _the kitten!

Sirius: Well… you _could…_

Gracie: *gasp* _Sirius!_

Sirius: Just kidding. Here, readers, take the fudge, quickly, while she's distracted. Go! Before Gracie catches up with you! RUUUNNNN!

Gracie: NOOOOO! NOT THE FUDGE!


	19. Murder in the Corridor

_Chapter Nineteen_

**Murder in the Corridor**

Things went by in a blur after that. Sirius and I had left my parent's house and returned to the Potters' for Christmas, and then the New Year kicked in and shortly after we found ourselves back on the train to Hogwarts.

James and Sirius had sung Auld Sang Lyne in about five different pitches, once mimicking Professor McGonagall and then once Professor Dumbledore. They'd tried to get Lily and me to join in, but Lily had flat out refused and I'd only kept quiet for Lily's sake. She did find it quite amusing, though, as much as she was trying to deny it; the train stopped and she pulled me out of the compartment quickly, a giggling mess, and when she collected herself, she insisted we go catch up with Mary and all the other girls from our dorm in the Great Hall.

It was true that Lily was closer to these other girls than I was. She'd always been friends with them, since first year, when she and I weren't very close. I'd hung around with the boys more, her with Snape and Mary and whoever else. But, I would say hello to them now, just for Lily. Then when she wasn't paying attention I'd go find Remus and Peter.

I greeted Mary, who I was most fond of out of all the girls. We'd always been friendly with each other, but I reckoned we'd grown closer after the incident in the corridor with Avery and Mulciber. She'd been the one to update me on that "situation"—apparently, they'd been suspended until Christmas break and would be returning afterwards. Somehow, it'd all been played out as a big lovely accident, and though they had been sufficiently punished, they were still allowed to return to finish up their seventh years. This made Mary visibly uneasy, but when she saw the kitten curled up in my arm, she quickly forgot about everything else and ecstatically asked if she could hold him. I handed him over and the girls all swarmed, some commenting on how the kitten would probably be a much nicer addition to the dorm rather than Mary's demon of a cat, much to Mary's dismay. They were all consumed in conversation and I took the moment to dart off.

I spotted Peter's tousled sandy brown head of hair from across the Great Hall and made my way over to him. His back was turned so I took the opportunity to pounce on his back. "PETER!"

He jolted in his seat and let out a squeak of fright before I collided into him and squeezed him around the neck.

"How was your Christmas?" I released him and tousled his already tousled hair even further. "Did you like the wizard cards I sent? It took me and Sirius ages to find them! Mind you, Sirius wasn't really very diligent with helping me look. But, still, ages! I had to ask one of the old ladies in the shop for help, but she wasn't much aid either. She was probably part troll. She had that smell, you know? And she spoke English horribly. She just stared at me while I talked, and she slurred everything, I don't even _know _if it was English. Well, are the cards any good? Any rare ones? Or new ones? Or they all rubbish?"

I paused for a breath and Peter threw an answer in, "No, they were great, Gracie, thanks—"

"That's good!" I exclaimed, quickly commencing my rant. "I loved the quill set you sent me! It was so sweet! I went and wrote everyone a letter just because I was so happy with them, but I set them in a pile and my kitten peed on them, so I had to throw them out. Yes, I have a kitten! I left him with Lily and Mary, because they were all cooing over him. He doesn't have a name yet.. I just call him 'the kitten.' Hopefully I think of a name soon before that becomes his name. That'd be stupid when he's not a kitten anymore. I've never had a pet before, did you know that? So I'm so happy with this one! Sirius gave him to me. Anyways, I've got to finish my Christmas homework tonight so I'll show you how the quills write later! Did you know they also include a sugar quill in the set? You don't write with it, of course, it's just for taste, but Merlin's socks does it taste fantastic as—"

"Gracie! Take a breath," said Remus, who was suddenly beside my shoulder.

"Remus! Hi!" I turned from the rather frightened looking Peter to Remus, who wrapped me in a hug. "I missed you!"

I saw Peter bolt off to James and Sirius from the corner of my eye. Remus just chuckled, muttering something about Peter never getting over the 'Gracie is a dementor' stage from first year. "You're quite excitable. I guess that means your break was good?"

I rolled my eyes, smiling. "It wasn't bad, actually. I went to see my parents, though."

He scrunched up his face empathetically. "Ooh. How was that?"

No one really knew the extent of my family's relationship—except maybe Sirius, but not even he really knew it all—but _everyone_ knew the relationship was strained. It wasn't hard to guess, seeing as they all knew my parents had refused to take me to King's Cross at the beginning of the year and Lily, James, and Sirius had come to pick me up instead. Mostly everyone in our year assumed I was muggle-born, because it was common knowledge that I lived in a muggle community. I didn't care to correct them, honestly, because being considered muggle-born was much more convenient; it filtered out the nasty blood-purists so that I didn't have to waste my time with them. I'd received a bit of abuse from a few Slytherins over the years, sure, but it wasn't anything I could complain about too much. Being a pureblood was far too often a misconception, and I didn't want anyone to get the wrong idea of me or see me as a different person for my blood status.

"Better than I expected it to be. They were behaving themselves," I answered sincerely. "Sirius even managed to make my dad laugh, which was surprising."

"Sirius? You brought everyone with you?" Remus raised his brows curiously.

"No, just Sirius." Remus tilted his head inquisitively. "He just came for support. He was trying to make me feel better. I was really upset when my parents asked me to come. I didn't know what to expect."

He nodded slowly, seeming to accept the answer. "You do seem to spend an awful lot of time with Sirius. Reckon it was about time they met him, seeing as he's practically your left arm."

"Well, that would explain why my left arm is so lousy. Of course Sirius is to blame. He can take the blame for all of my other issues, too."

"I dunno, I think a lot of those issues you probably had before you met him, don't you think?"

"Remus!" I gasped, which sent him into a fit of laughter. "No, you know that weird dancing thing I do in the halls sometime? That's definitely Sirius's fault."

He sobered, catching his breath. "Well, I'll give you that one. Sirius has done that after every History of Magic class since first year."

I proceeded to point out other various weird traits that resembled Sirius's, and Remus would verify them, either agreeing or not, and this continued on till long after dinner was over and we were all sent back to our common rooms. I reclaimed my kitten from Mary and showed him off to Remus, who was not overly fond of cats either, then said goodnight to him and Peter (where James and Sirius had gone off to, I had no idea) and dismissed myself to bed.

* * *

It was a couple of mornings later, after we'd gotten used to our schedules again, that the next Quidditch game arose. It was Gryffindor versus Slytherin, possibly the most rivaled game of all Hogwarts Qudditch games, and it was only the first week back after break. James, therefore, was complaining loudly about how he was out of shape after all the Christmas sweets.

"Lily, you don't have to go, you know," he was saying to her at breakfast. "I'll probably just topple over with all the weight I've put on." He patted his belly, suggesting it had grown, but he looked considerably the same.

Lily only rolled her eyes. "You're ridiculous. Of course I'll be going. Just don't fall off your broom. I don't care if you lose or not."

"Yeah, not like she watches the score, anyway," I said. "She only ever watches you, James."

She flushed, swiping me in the side, and I laughed loudly.

"What? It's true!"

"It is not," she huffed. "I watch the entire game, including everyone in it, on both teams."

"You know, just last game, she was asking me what the difference between a Chaser and a Seeker was."

"Gracie! You're making things up!" But the boys didn't hear her, because they were too busy snorting their pumpkin juice and laughing their guts open.

I _was_ making things up, but I didn't need to admit that. It'd reassured James, and I'd gotten to poke some fun at Lily dear on top of it all.

Later that afternoon, the game was actually going fairly well. Gryffindor was in the lead by at least twenty points throughout a majority of the game. It seemed that if the Gryffindors were out of shape, the Slytherins were _far_ worse out of shape.

Lily and Sirius were cheering my ears off on both sides, and I backed away to Remus and hid my head on his shoulder to block out the noise. He decided to tease me and cheered loudly with them, and I groaned and slapped his arm forcelessly before joining Peter. He was watching the game intently, but silently, and was much better company.

The cheers all around started to quiet down as the Gryffindors went on scoring without much opposition. At that point I was no longer interested in the game—I'd never really had an interested for sports, not even wizard sports—and found myself idly raising the hairs on the back of Sirius's head with my wand. It wasn't until the Slytherins started scoring and the Gryffindors were wild and livid with protests and outcries that my attention snapped back to the game.

"That doesn't even make sense! Is no one watching this?" Lily shouted.

"Did you see Swott's weird move just then? It looked unnatural," Sirius commented. Benjamin Swott, as in one of the other Gryffindor Chasers, along with James and John Matlock.

"It's almost like he's being jinxed," said Remus.

"I've only ever seen a jinxed broom once," Lily said absently, "and that was in third year. Remember that? One of the teachers meant it as a prank. Professor Rugal, the Defense teacher? And then they'd fired him for misconduct. They took it really seriously. It takes really powerful magic to interfere… Even dark magic, probably…"

She trailed off, focused on the game, no doubt watching James's broom for any signs of odd behavior. The Slytherins continued to get past the Gryffindor keeper, score after score after score, and the Gryffindor stands were ablaze with outrage.

I glanced over to the Slytherin stands. They were all standing also, suddenly rejuvenated at the turn of events, but there was a group of boys towards the back still seated. They were watching the game intently with the rest, but were sitting and looked much calmer. It struck me as immediately peculiar and then I immediately noticed they all had their wands drawn, pointed towards the pitch.

I gasped but the sound was drowned in the Gryffindors' yells and no one noticed what I'd seen. I continued to watch the group and recognized Severus Snape. Beside him were two other boys, and on the other side, Avery and Mulciber. My insides burned with fury and before I could second guess myself, I shot a disarming spell their way.

"_Expelliarmus!_"

The stands had grown a note quieter, and the boys and Lily all turned to me curiously. I wasn't looking their way, though, but kept my eyes focused on the group of Slytherin boys. They looked enraged and bewildered, and I caught their infuriated eyes before turning and breaking the gaze.

"Who did you just disarm?" Lily asked, looking genuinely concerned.

"Snape," I said bitterly. "And Avery and Mulciber and their bloody gang."

"Were they jinxing the brooms?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know," I said. I hadn't even really taken much time to make sure, but I despised the whole lot of them so greatly that I hadn't been able to contain myself. "I think so. I guess we'll see."

Lily looked a little green and caught a glance towards the Slytherin stands over her shoulder. I'd always known that something sour had landed between her and Snape but I'd never had the nerve to ask what. I'd remembered the days when James and Sirius would taunt the kid. I couldn't really blame Snape for being bitter and twisted; he'd endured countless tauntings since he was a first year, but I was not a fan of the bloke regardless. He'd been friends with Lily since before she even came to Hogwarts, and that was always her excuse for still being friends with him. He was different with her, she would say. He was really quite a "nice person." James used to say that Snape fancied the pants off her. He'd been a bit jealous back then, but now he didn't care a thing about him, seeing as Lily had nothing to do with Snape anymore and James finally had her all to himself.

I kind of imagined that Lily missed the old friend she had from childhood sometimes. She would never say a thing, but occasionally I'd see her glance his way and then quickly avert her gaze, a green tinge to her face like what was there now.

I didn't comment on it, like always, and my attention was drawn back to the game as Gryffindor promptly reclaimed the lead. The night went on just like that, a victory for a proud and rambunctious Gryffindor house and a sorry loss for the defeated looking Slytherins.

The game tonight meant that Gryffindor only had to usurp the Hufflepuff team and the House cup would be ours again this year. The team had done miraculously well, aside from their loss with Ravenclaw.

"Ravenclaw's in the same state as us, though," Sirius told me later that night in the common room. The team had rounded up bottles of firewhiskey and were now passing it around graciously. It was a celebration, apparently, seeing as this was the first game we'd won all year. Which wasn't very fair to compare, either; there were only three games per team, anyhow. Sirius took a large swallow from the bottle and passed it to me. I eyed it warily, then passed it on to Remus beside me. I didn't care much for firewhiskey. It hurt to get down and if you drank too much, it hurt just as badly coming up.

Sirius was still going on beside me about Ravenclaw. "They lost a game, too, so they're in the same boat as us. But what we have over them, of course, is the fact that they're next game is with Slytherin and ours is Hufflepuff." His words were running together and I suspected he was talking more to the air in front of me rather than to my face, but I let him ramble on because he appeared to be very passionate about the topic. "Hufflepuff is nothing. Absolutely no trouble, we'll demolish them. But Slytherin's probably, you know, the second to best, and they'll get 'em right in the arse."

He stared at me as if he was waiting for me to comment on his extended statement, and I nodded my head enthusiastically. "Yeah, wow. That's great. We'll win again! Because we have to win every year! Yeah!"

Benjamin Swott caught the last bit of what I'd said and released a series of loud claps and cheers. It proceeded like a domino effect, the entire common room alive and blazing, "Yeah! Gryffindor! We win every year!" The team members were being clapped on the back, James as one of the primary 'Quidditch heroes.' Everyone was wild, drinking and cheering and laughing, and one of the fifth years started dancing a funny little jig that caught on rather quickly.

Soon everyone was moving and some boys even took it as a perfect opportunity to grab a girl and snog her. I was feeling rather out of place as James and Sirius went wild beside me, dragging Remus along with them. I had no clue where Peter had gone, or Lily for that matter. Perhaps the library. I decided that I ought to take that as my opportunity to leave and bolted out of the common room as quickly as my legs would carry me.

Now, it wasn't that I didn't like a good game of Quidditch, or an occasional rowdy party.

No, that was exactly it. No use denying it.

I really wasn't fond of Quidditch or drinking or excessive noise. Which normally surprised people. I was generally fairly hyperactive, at least with Sirius, but when it got to a bunch of out of control, energy driven blind teenagers, I was gone. I'd been to a few Gryffindor parties and I'd enjoyed a few of them, when Sirius had practically forced me to enjoy myself, but that had only ever happened a few times, and I could probably count them on a single hand if I wanted.

Come to think of it, I'd only ever enjoyed Quidditch when it had been Kenneth playing, and I hadn't spoken to him since November. It'd long been January now.

Sometimes I did miss Kenneth a bit, but not overly. It wasn't as if we'd ever really had much of a relationship; he'd never technically been my "boyfriend," nor had I particularly ever wanted him to be. He'd been nice to have around on occasion, but that's not how you were supposed to treat people. He was a good catch, I guess you'd say, and I was happier letting him be so that he could find a girl that was crazy for him. I couldn't blame a girl for going crazy for him, really. If I'd had any more sense, I would have, too.

But I was crazy, insane, and absolutely mental for another person. It was to hard to ignore now. I couldn't even really hide it. I wondered absentmindedly if he knew. Perhaps not. Lily had wanted me to tell him. Lily was so optimistic about it all, but then again, she had no reason not to be. She wasn't the one with anything to lose in the situation.

I'd decided long ago, though, that I wouldn't tell him. As much as I wanted to. As much as I knew I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I didn't.

I'd probably regret it for the rest of my life. I'd be mad at myself until I was old and gray, but he'd be married or something by then and there'd be nothing I could do about it then.

Because that was the thing about Sirius. He didn't need me, as much as I evidently needed him. The girls loved him, maybe even more so than they loved Kenneth, and who could blame them? Sirius was beautiful. Maybe he didn't play Quidditch, but he was brilliant and easy going and funny and so good looking that Kenneth really had very little against him.

And that was what scared me. That if Sirius ever fancied me, it would be like he was settling for less, and I couldn't bring myself to do that to him. He'd grow to be unhappy with me. He'd want to stay out of guilt and I just couldn't do that to him. And then we'd never be the same again and I'd have lost my favorite person in the world.

I suddenly laughed, out loud, and when I realized my lack of control I just laughed louder. He was my favorite person in the world. How corny was that? But it was true, as terrible as it was to choose favorites out of my friends. But I could spend every day with him and never grow bored, and I knew that for a fact. I didn't even need anything more from him - we could just talk and laugh and goof off and I'd be happy.

I collected myself as I arrived at the library and gingerly found my way inside. I scanned in between the shelves and all the tables for Lily, but I hadn't been able to spot her flaming red head of hair. Maybe she'd just gone up to bed. That would have been more convenient to check, but I'd been so desperate to escape that I hadn't really thought it all through.

I looked around at a few books idly before deciding to head back to Gryffindor tower. I'd just quickly sneak past the crowd and up to the dorms and that would be that. No problem.

I walked along the quiet corridors for what felt like forever as my mind drowned in the mingled silence and dark. It wasn't until I'd just successfully cleared my mind that I was jolted back to my senses by a sharp, cold voice that resonated before me.

"Hachette? What are you doing out so late?"

It was difficult to fully comprehend what was happening at that point. I stopped dead in my tracks and stared blankly at the boy in front of me, the boy with a familiar sick scowl twisted on his face.

"Hullo, Avery," I greeted coolly, and subconsciously grabbed for my wand.

"Hey! What are you doing there?" Avery gestured to my hand holding the wand. "Little bit forward of an action, don't you think?"

"What do you want?" I growled.

"Just a little talk. I haven't even pulled my wand on you, you know. You're the presumptuous one here."

"Go away," I muttered, shoving my way past him.

He caught me by the shoulder and yanked me back. "Where do you think you're going? We haven't even talked! That's quite rude, Hachette. Didn't your parents teach you manners?"

That was where I snapped. I pulled my wand on him, aiming it at the nape of his neck. "If you don't let go of me, I will hurt you."

"How will you be able to do that?"

"With my wand, you bloody idiot-"

But before I knew it, a shot of red light burst from the other side of Avery and whipped the wand from my hand.

I stared up at Avery with furious eyes. He only smirked, eyes and features basking in darkness. "You were saying?"

His grip on my shoulder was gradually tightening, so much so that it was actually becoming nauseating. "Let me go," I repeated, but the authority in my voice had gone with my wand.

"Don't think so. Nice try."

Mulciber appeared from the shadows, twirling my wand in his squat hands. I glared at him but Avery jerked my chin back towards himself.

"Listen, Hachette. This is what's going to happen. We're going to do whatever we like, and maybe we'll let you go and maybe we won't. After all, a lovely mudblood like you would be pretty meat for the Dark Lord."

I squirmed in his grip but it was useless. "Do you always do all the talking? You're lovely with the talking, really. I'm sure your Dark Lord rewards you heartily for it." The sarcasm in my voice was as potent as venom.

That was where Avery lost his cool; he grabbed for my neck with his free hand and pressed his fingers deep against my throat. I choked on air, lights sparking under my eyelids. "Shut the hell up, mudblood. Watch who you're talking to. I'm a higher status than you, and you ought to respect me. Especially because I'm so close with much more powerful forces."

I wanted to make a snarky retort but I couldn't get down enough air. I knew that he couldn't very well be a Death Eater; You-Know-Who would never submit a seventeen year old school boy into his inner circle. That didn't mean Avery and Mulciber had never met him, either, and it didn't mean they weren't raised with the avid aspirations to join him. Certainly that's what they were anticipating, and they were far past what one would call mental.

I clawed at Avery's hands to pull them off, and he hissed and pushed me hard in the stomach, ramming me into the wall. I hit a portrait and it protested loudly, saying something along the likes of "hormonal driven teenagers that just can't keep their hands off each other," but I hardly heard it. I didn't even have time to think about how the top of my head had hit the frame and now seemed to be tainted with hot, metallic blood. My body was pulsing so loudly that I couldn't even think.

Avery had only released me for a moment until he'd grabbed me again. He pulled at my wrist and I gasped as the movement produced a large sound like a crack and a burning, excruciating pain erupted up my arm, hotter and more uncomfortable than any amount of firewhiskey imaginable.

"Sorry," Avery hissed, face dangerously and threateningly close to mine. "Did I hurt you? Because I meant to do worse."

I thrashed as much as I could in his grip, trying to force away the fiery, salty tears that sprung to my eyes whenever Avery pulled at me. He tightened his grip around my wrist and I let out a pitiful cry at the pain; I couldn't stand it, and I couldn't do very much to stop it, either. Mulciber was lurking somewhere in the corridor where I couldn't see him, with _my _wand, making me virtually defenseless.

"Maybe that'll teach you not to meddle in Slytherin affairs. How _dare_ you think that you could disarm a pureblood. You little mudblood filth."

I shot him a kick in the shin with what I knew was the hardest part of my shoe. He reacted accordingly, letting out a momentary sound of pain, before punching me full in the mouth.

I stumbled back, losing my balance, and he let me fall to the ground. I groaned loudly, clutching my chin in my hands, and Mulciber joined Avery, both of them laughing at my state. I was humiliatingly weak and powerless to Avery and there was nothing I could do. I reckoned I couldn't even really scream; my throat was dry and whenever I cried out in pain, it felt like a million nails were scraping at my throat. I could hardly breathe, let alone cry out.

The portraits, however, were going insane around us, and I really didn't need to cry out at all. They'd proclaimed us to be "disruptive" to the night atmosphere at first, but soon realized that we weren't just a couple of teenagers sneaking off to snog in the corridor, and were now jumping through separate frames and panicking, yelling things like "Filch!" and "Headmaster!" and "Murder in the corridor! Murder! Murder!"

I got to my feet shakily, but neither Avery or Mulciber were acting now. Avery's eyes were wide at the scene the portraits were causing and when I pounced on Mulciber to reclaim my wand, Avery ran from the hall without looking back. Mulciber looked as if he wanted to join him, but I clawed his arm with all the force I could and held him to the spot. He retaliated and made a grab for my bad wrist. He managed to catch it and twist it sickeningly before I yanked my leg up and kneed him below the belt with all the strength I could muster.

Mulciber buckled over, groaning in pain that apparently prevented his mobility. I pulled my wand from his absent grasp and darted off as fast as I could, gasping and struggling for breath. Mulciber shot a spell or two from behind, but both shots missed and I bolted around the corner, hidden from his poor aim.

Gryffindor tower was farther than I remembered it being, and when I finally arrived at the common room, I almost collapsed on the floor. I managed to get past the Fat Lady's inquiries and made my way inside, finding the room generally empty. I was eternally grateful that my trek to my dorm would at least be free from any unnecessary questions.

Except for Remus, of course, I realized in a mad flurry, who was still apparently doing his homework. After a bloody party! Hadn't he drunken himself unconscious yet? Not that I wanted him to, but it would have been damn convenient at a time like this! But he hadn't seen me. And he wouldn't. I'd just take a deep breath and go upstairs, and he'd never know—

But, hell, my feet were loud and I couldn't keep myself up straight for hardly anything. He glanced up and our eyes met. At first he didn't seem to recognize me or my situation, and then his eyes grew wide and alarmed.

"Gracie! What happened? Why are you bleeding?"

Ugh. I hadn't noticed the blood. I could feel it on my hairline now, thick and terrible, and then on my my bottom lip, sickening. "I wasn't looking where I was going," I said quickly, attempting to dart for the stairs. But my voice was scratchy and unconvincing. "And I ran into a portrait."

I was about to run off and declare myself safe, as Remus very well couldn't follow me upstairs, but he got up quicker than I could escape and grabbed my wrist to keep me still. Bad luck, though, as that was the wrist that Avery had very likely broken. I hissed out in pain and recoiled from him.

He eyed my wrist, eyes still wide, then my forehead, then my mouth, then peered in close at my neck. "What happened? Gracie! You did not hit a portrait! Tell me. You have to go to Madam Pomfrey. You can't go to bed like this."

"It was—" I shook my head frantically, horrified tears springing to my eyes again. I'd been so weak. I couldn't even defend myself. It was pitiful and pathetic. Remus pulled me into his chest, more carefully than before, and I cried uncontrollably. "Avery. And Mulciber, but mostly Avery. They disarmed me and Avery, well…" I trembled without meaning to. I'd meant to be strong, but I was panicked and distressed and in so much pain that I felt like I'd be sick.

"Come on," Remus said quietly, stroking my hair to soothe me. But I didn't budge, and he tried harder to pull me out of his arms. "Come on, Gracie. We have to go the Hospital Wing. Your head looks bad, and your wrist is hanging limp." He raised my elbow, carefully examining my wrist. "Can you move it?"

"I don't know."

"Try."

I shook my head, wincing with pain. "I don't want to."

"You probably can't then. Let's go. Come on. Don't argue with me, Grace Hachette." He stared at me seriously, and I gave in, letting him drag me out and wrap an arm around my waist. But that area was tender, too, and I flinched at the contact.

"What happened to your back?"

"It's just sore," I said. "Don't worry."

"Hold on. Can you wait here for one second? Don't run up to your dorm. I'm going to get Sirius."

"Why?"

"I'll have him go tell Dumbledore what happened and I'll bring you to the Hospital Wing. Just hold on. One second."

"I'm counting," I said, a little hint of a smile hidden in my eyes. But I could hardly joke, let alone speak; my voice was hoarse and painful, and when Remus bolted off for his dorm, I didn't count down like I said I would. Instead, I waited, willing my strength to hold me up for just a bit longer so that I could go to Madam Pomfrey and take some potion that would make me feel like I was floating on clouds.

I expected Sirius to be irritated at being dragged from his dormitory, or in the very least unsteady and drunk, but he proved to be neither. I guess he hadn't really been drunk earlier. Maybe it had just been the atmosphere. He ran, rather loudly, down the stairs, then stopped in front of me. His face and eyes were very awake and aware as his eyes found mine.

"Gracie! What the hell? Why were you in the bloody corridor at night, anyways? Are you okay? Tell me you're okay." He said it all in a rush, and I couldn't help but feel more pained at the expression on his face.

"I'm okay," I said automatically.

"No you're not. Don't lie to me."

"But you just said to tell you that I was okay."

"Shh, you're deranged," he said, and wrapped an arm around my shoulder instead of my waist. Remus had apparently told him what was wrong with me, but he still inspected my face and my neck, and gingerly moved my arm to see my wrist.

Remus appeared only moments later. "Okay, I'll take her to the Hospital Wing, Sirius, you go find Professor Dumbledore—"

"No, I'll bring her, you go find him," Sirius argued immediately, pulling me in closer to him.

Remus raised a brow, but seemed to figure that it wasn't worth arguing over. "Fine. I'll go. Everything will be okay, Gracie." He smiled reassuringly my way.

I instantly regretted the brief outburst I'd had and flushed. "I know. Thanks, Remus."

He walked Sirius and me out of the common room and then we parted, going off in separate directions.

"Are you scared?" Sirius asked, meeting my eyes with concern.

I shook my head.

"Well, if you are," Sirius said, and by the look on his face, I guessed he would have preferred I was, "I'm here to protect you. Because I'm big and strong and everything, you know. Yeah?"

I rolled my eyes, humoring him. "Yes, you are. Thank you. I feel so very safe because you're here."

He frowned. "Well, now I'm just not sure if you mean that or if it's your head."

"Let's just say it's a combination of both."

And we went off to the Hospital Wing. I tried not to think about Avery or Mulciber or Sirius or even Kenneth or Remus or my parents or Lily or Peter or James or anyone at all, just tried drowning myself in silence and freeing myself of everything. It didn't work, of course, not with Sirius yapping away beside me, because soon enough I'd managed to forget everything else but him. And with that, surprisingly the pain that pulsed all throughout my body felt oddly indistinct.

He started saying how we would present this to Madam Pomfrey and suggested we practice how I would tell the story, but I couldn't focus or hardly hear anything he said at all.

* * *

_A/N: All right, woohooo, I'm updating on my prolonged vacation! ;) More like I've been writing short sections in every five minute span of spare time I have, but whatever, yahh know. Anyways, I need your help with a name for "the kitten." I'm hopeless with names. Any suggestions? I'd love to hear what you think! Yep yep, that's all, short author's note for today. (Well, shorter than usual.) Thank you very much for reading and leave a review—and don't forget to suggest a name! Because I need your help! I'm hopeless! Remember! Okay byee!_


	20. And the Truth Arrives

_Chapter Twenty_

**And the Truth Arrives**

I wove my arms through Remus's sweater, wrapping myself in the fabric to ward off the cold. He'd given it to me a few nights before in the Hospital Wing when I'd gone to Madam Pomfrey's and it'd been immobilizingly cold. He said it was like that a lot during the nights and offered me his sweater, and I'd meant to return it to him this morning, but I couldn't spot him in the History of Magic classroom.

Lily was sitting alone, peering with concentration at a textbook in front of her. I walked over to her. "Hey, do you know where Remus is?"

"He's sick," Lily answered automatically, not even glancing up. The desk next to her that James normally occupied was empty, and I glanced around the room slowly for Sirius and Peter. They were all gone.

"Is James coming to class?"

"No." Lily flipped a page in her book idly then looked up to me. "They're all with Remus. Sick. You know."

I guess I did know. I hadn't been paying attention to the sky lately, but Remus was often "sick," which had become code for full moon.

"Can I sit with you then?"

"Sure." She pulled her knapsack onto her own desk top and cleared the seat for me. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Madam Pomfrey fixed me up pretty well." I sat down beside her, and Lily glanced at my wrist. I rotated it in a circle to show her it was fine.

"Your face looks better," she commented.

The bruise had healed considerably on my lip where Avery had punched me, and the cut on my forehead where I'd hit the portrait was nearly invisible. Nothing really hurt, except sometimes there was a sharp stitch in my side when I inhaled too deeply, but other than that, everything was fine.

Lily closed her book. "What did Dumbledore say?"

Remus had brought him to the Hospital Wing after Madam Pomfrey had fixed up my wrist and given me a tissue regenerating potion. I'd told Dumbledore about what had happened and we talked about the war. About You-Know-Who, about his followers, about what was going to happen. It'd been terrifying and overwhelming and the biggest headache, all very hard to take in, considering the situation.

He told Sirius, Remus, and me about the way things were looking—the disappearances with the muggles, muggleborns, even the halfbloods and some purebloods—and they weren't looking very good. You-Know-Who's forces were gaining more power by the day. He mentioned briefly an order, something he called the Order of the Phoenix, that was meant to combat these forces. He didn't say much about it, but when Sirius started getting excited about joining and "defending the wizarding world," (he was like a kid sometimes, honestly) Dumbledore said he'd only allow us to join when we'd graduated, despite the fact that we were all legally adults. It was more important that we finish our education before we got too involved in the worldly events, he said. Our education was the best training we could get for the war.

I told Lily all of this and then stirred my quill in the inkwell. "He said he'd be speaking to Avery and Mulciber and they would be dealt with accordingly. I don't know what will happen. Sirius said they'll probably be expelled this time. They were definitely using dark magic at the Quidditch game."

She bit down on her bottom lip thoughtfully, glancing off to the floor.

We spoke off and on throughout class, but for the most part, we spoke of the History lesson and what we needed to know for the homework that night. It was just typical chit-chat and strayed from the more serious war-talk.

* * *

"Good work, Miss Hachette. You can go back to your common room now. This was your last detention, wasn't it? I can't even remember how long you and Black were supposed to have detention." Professor Slughorn looked up at me from his desk. I was shivering in my robes from the cold that still nestled in my bones. The last day to shovel that damn snow. I was suddenly grateful I hadn't seen Remus to give him back his sweater.

"This was the last day, I think," I answered, drawing my cloak tightly around my waist.

"All right, good night then. I'll leave a note for Filch saying you served all of your detentions, just one moment…" He turned in his chair and summoned a spare piece of parchment.

The door burst open loudly, and I jumped at the sound of the door slamming against the wall and shaking the frames on the wall.

Sirius stood in the doorway, smiling guiltily. "Sorry about that. Didn't mean to open it so quickly."

"Mister Black." Slughorn peered from over his glasses. "You're late. You've missed the entire detention."

"Oh, well, I have a pass from Madam Pomfrey." He strode up to the desk casually, a hand in one pocket and a pink slip in the other. He slid it across the surface to Slughorn. "She said it was all right if I missed detention for today?"

Slughorn eyed the pass, looking skeptical. "Well, it was your _last_ detention, I'm sure you're aware."

"Yes, sir. That wasn't intentional, though. Just felt a little bit under the weather."

"Did you attend classes today?"

"No, sir."

"Well, it says that on this slip, I suppose. All right then, I was just telling Hachette that you won't be required to attend any more detentions. You're free to leave now, both of you."

"Thank you, sir," I said politely, bouncing on the tips of my toes cheerily. "Goodnight, professor!"

"Goodnight. Get to bed now. Go straight to your common room. No shortcuts or longcuts. Nothing. Straight away."

"Yes, sir."

And with that, Sirius and I left the office, straight away, as we were told.

The walk was mostly in silence, which normally wasn't too peculiar, but this felt strange. I glanced over at him, but found that really didn't do me much good; the dim light of the hallway shrouded most of his features.

"Is Remus all right?"

"Yeah, he's fine now," Sirius said. His voice was quiet, dimmed like the lights, and it concerned me.

"Why'd you miss your classes today?"

"Because I wasn't feeling well," he answered simply, almost dismissive.

"Really?"

We arrived in front of the Fat Lady. "What are you two doing out so late? You've got a curfew, you know, and sneaking about is certainly not proper behavior for two young teenagers—"

Sirius stated the password as if he hadn't heard the portrait say anything at all. "Chizpurfle."

"It is _very_ improper, and you should know it, too! I'm sure your parents would have an earful for the both of you. Shameful acts are nothing but shameful, you know…"

"Chizpurfle," he repeated with less patience.

"Fine, fine, but if you're sneaking out anymore, you'll be hearing from me!" I had to restrain myself from rolling my eyes. Yes, of course we would, because she was a lady in a portrait that could really stop us from doing anything. Besides, she was a figment of creation and didn't retain any information for long periods of time.

The Fat Lady grudgingly swung open and allowed us into the depths of the warm Gryffindor common room. I let out a sigh of relief and loosened my cloak from around my waist. The room was empty, which meant that it was very late.

"You're lucky you got to miss detention today. It was cold."

"Isn't it always?"

"It was unbearable today." I shivered on cue and took another breath.

"Well, go to sleep, you'll feel better."

I turned and looked at him, raising a brow curiously. This time I was able to read his more clearly in the brighter light and I nearly gasped at what I saw.

"Sirius! What happened to you?"

"I'm fine."

Which he obviously was, because after all, he'd spent a day in the Hospital Wing, and Madam Pomfrey knew some breathtaking magic. But it was still shocking nonetheless. There was a nasty looking gash on his cheek, and another low on his collarbone. I suspected there were more, but his robes covered the rest of his skin and I couldn't see anything else.

"What happened?" He didn't answer. "Sirius. Come on."

"Nothing," he sighed irritably and rubbed his forehead. "Remus just forgot to take his potion the night before and things got a little out of hand. But it's not the first time that's ever happened and we don't transfigure into animals just for fun." He looked at me sternly, trying to drill in the point. But the longer we held the gaze, the less serious he got, and eventually a familiar smile flicked across his features. "I mean, well, I can't say that we don't have fun with it. Sometimes me and James like to mess with Remus and he goes a little crazy. Chases us around a bit."

"Sirius! That's so irresponsible!"

"What?" He shrugged. "It's fun. He doesn't hurt us too often."

"I know it's Remus, and I love the boy to death, but he's dangerous at full moon, Sirius, you know that, and you could get yourself killed if you just fool around all the time! Hell, look at you!"

"Gracie, honestly. I can take care of myself."

"Obviously not!" I was fuming and I couldn't contain myself. I wanted to shut up but I just kept going. I tried biting my tongue to stop the flow of words, but the pain only made me angrier.

"Why do you care? It doesn't matter. Just let it alone." He backed up as if he wanted to bolt off.

"How do you think it makes me feel to see you like this, Sirius?" I snapped.

"Look at you! You're being a hypocrite! I had to practically carry you all the way to the Hospital Wing the other night, Gracie! Do you think I enjoyed that? I don't want to see you hurt, either. It makes me sick to my stomach and I feel like murdering bloody Avery and Mulciber, but I wasn't scolding you because someone attacked you!"

I pressed my lips together, trying to brace myself, try to pull myself together, but my emotions were bouncing off all the walls and I couldn't keep still.

"I'm going to sleep," he said bitterly. "Goodnight."

No, I wanted to say, there was nothing _good_ about that, but I finally managed to hold my tongue and watched in silence as he stalked off for the stairs.

I suddenly felt very drained. It was like a giant rope had tied itself around my heart and was pulling me down, through the ground, and I was just falling helplessly, unable to cry or scream or do anything to stop it. My heart was hammering and screaming, but it was caged in my chest and the world was oblivious.

"Sirius," I said suddenly, willing the awful feeling away. I ran after him, up the stairs and right in step after him. I thanked Godric Gryffindor that the boys' stairs didn't morph into slides when the opposite gender tried to climb them, unlike the girls' stairs. Under normal circumstances, I might have argued how sexist the entire notion was, but I barely had time to form a coherent thought.

Sirius turned, and if he was surprised I'd called after him, he didn't look it.

"Sirius, I'm sorry." I was breathless and probably looked like a moron, but I couldn't let him go to bed on that note. "I'm sorry. You're right. I know that you can take care of yourself. And even if your stupid joking around bothers me to no end, I know you don't mean harm by it. And even if it tears you up a bit sometimes, I know that you'll be okay, because you're smart, and you're brave, and you take care of yourself and your friends. And Remus, I don't know what he'd do without you. He's lucky to have you, and I'm sorry for getting mad at you." I looked at him, waiting for the next part to fall from my mouth, but I couldn't mouth the words. I squinted my eyes for a short second and then opened them. "I just care about you and I'm a little sensitive. I don't want you to hurt yourself. It hurts me. You know? That's normal, isn't it? I'm not mental, am I?"

Sirius, frankly, looked a little bewildered, but I couldn't blame him. I'd just unleashed a tidal wave onto him and it was far too late into the night to be having such a sentimental confession. But what could I do? I'd already thrown myself in the ditch, I might as well try to climb myself out.

"Well." He smiled, and my chest felt warm. "Perhaps you are mental, but that's certainly not news."

I wrung my hands together uncertainly. "Will you forgive me for scolding you like a child?"

He moved down a step so that we were standing directly in front of each other, and gave me a little nod of his head. "I didn't mind taking you to the Hospital Wing, either, just so you know. Though I do want to murder Avery and Mulciber. I really mean that."

I frowned. "But I'm okay."

"And so am I. Let's just forget about it all, yeah? We're fine. Because we're strong and muscular and we could take on a whole city of heliopaths if we needed to." He nudged my arm playfully.

"What's a heliopath?"

"I dunno really. Fiery thing? Doesn't matter. You get the point."

"Okay." And I let myself smile, feeling a temporary calm settle over me. "Well, I guess I should go to bed now. Night, Sirius."

I was going to force myself to walk back down the stairs and go to my dormitory, but the look on his face held something incredibly foreign, something I couldn't quite decipher, almost like there was something more that needed to be said.

Maybe not said.

And maybe we were physically closer than we were before. Or maybe I just hadn't realized. Or maybe we weren't very close at all, and I was just getting delirious from exhaustion…

Definitely delirious, I decided, because my train of thought was getting frightening. I could hardly even hear it now. It was derailing. I was going to crash and burn if it kept leading me like this.

"Sirius?"

That same signature smile twitched at his lips, just a hint of mirth that I could never have seen if I hadn't been so drawn into him at that moment. Everything was slow, and every sound was so much louder. Everything was magnified, and more intense, and more real and overwhelming and frightening and powerful, and I was just going to drown in this rush and nothing was even happening at all.

"Gracie," Sirius said, and something flipped inside of me, a twitch of energy that shook me from the core.

That one little word, just my name, that was all I needed.

All I needed.

I took advantage of our proximity and brought myself close to him, no, _closer_, more like, and met my mouth with his.

I kissed him.

My blood rushed through my ears and it was so surreal and insane. I felt like I was possessed by the way I'd just moved to him. It was only a few more moments of that blood rushing through my ears that I realized what I was doing and snapped myself away.

Oh dear Merlin.

That did not happen.

I was seeing things. Or dreaming. Sleep-walking, maybe. Or hallucinating. Dying. That was it. Didn't you do the craziest things when you were dying? No, actually, I'd never heard that, I'd just made it up. Perhaps I needed to see Madam Pomfrey. Maybe that potion she gave me had some nasty side effects. I'd go see her. Right now, I told myself, and turned on my heel as fast as I could to get away.

But a hand latched around my wrist and spun me back around, throwing my escape attempts to the dust.

"Hey, that was a bit of a tease," Sirius murmured.

We were just staring at each other, his face glowing with that playfulness I was so greatly lacking, an expression that tore me in two. I didn't know what to feel, and everything was happening so fast, and he should not have been looking at me like that! He had provoked all of this! It was his fault! Oh, Merlin, could you just shoot something at me from the sky? Right now would be good.

But Sirius pulled me back to him and I told Merlin never mind, right now wouldn't be good, but could you wait around for later? I might need you then, I told him, because I was bound to screw something else up.

Sirius's fingers brushing against my cheek silenced all my thoughts. He returned his lips to mine, like it was where they belonged.

I was still and dumb for what felt like eternity until my mind clicked back into gear and it occurred to me that Sirius was kissing me, actually _kissing_ me, and I was standing there like an inanimate object.

That was when the feeling finally returned to my fingers, and I wove myself around him, my hands trailing up his chest and around his neck. His hands fell down to my waist and traced light patterns along the hem of my shirt, and shivers shot down my spine and all up my arms.

But that wasn't what I was focusing on. It was the way his lips moved across mine effortlessly, like gliding on water. It was the way he had to tilt his head down, just ever so slightly, and the way I had to arch myself into his chest just to meet his mouth. It was a perfect fit, I thought, and if it wasn't, it was as close as I'd ever gotten.

He parted his lips from mine for a moment, warm breath tickling at my skin, and then kissed me again, and again, and again. I was growing irritated of him pulling away and took his chin in my hands, pressing our mouths back together and holding him there so he couldn't move back. He laughed against me, a quiet little rumble from his throat, like he didn't mind at all.

Everything everywhere was on fire and I wondered absentmindedly how I could ever have felt cold in my life. Sirius planted his hands on my hips and moved me back against the wall, the side without a rail where the wall curved, and the simple little action sent my heart hammering into my throat.

He traced his fingers lightly up the nape of my neck and parted his lips from mine again. I let him this time, finding that I was incredibly breathless anyways. He was still close enough to satisfy my need, and I held him to me just to make sure he didn't get away.

"Were you ever going to tell me about this?" Sirius asked, and it could have been a whisper, but it was so close that it didn't matter.

"About what?"

He tilted his head back to mine, pressing his lips long and tantalizing against my own, before pulling back once more. "About that," he clarified simply.

"What, tell you I had lips?" I smiled, curling my fingers against his chest.

"No, believe me, I noticed _that_." He wrapped his arms around me, brushing his lips under my jaw. I shivered at the touch and he pulled me that much closer, like he was protecting me from the cold. "Weren't you ever going to tell me how you felt, or did that kiss just come out of nowhere?"

"I wasn't ever going to tell you, no."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm a bit of a coward."

"Not a coward," he murmured against my hairline. "Though I would have liked it if you'd said something earlier."

"Why? Bad timing?" I tapped his chin teasingly, and he growled, nipping at my finger, but I pulled my hand away quickly, laughing.

"Not at all. Now's definitely better than never."

"Mmh," I mumbled an agreement. "What happens now?" Meaning, what happened to _us_ now? Everything was going to be so different now. Wasn't it? That's what I'd told myself, but this strangely didn't actually _feel_ strange at all. It felt like this was where we'd been all along.

"Probably time for sleep. Do you even know how late it is?"

"No idea."

"Me either. We'll talk about all that later. But now let's just call it a night." He kissed my lips gently. "Okay?"

"Okay," I said slowly. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Gracie," Sirius said. "I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Yeah." And I started to move away, but then jumped back and kissed him a final time. I felt him smiling against my mouth until I finally pulled away from him and skipped down the stairs. I glanced over my shoulder, caught him watching me go, and waved sweetly. He just laughed, tilting his head on the wall and waving back sleepily.

That had really happened. I had to repeat it a few times in my mind as I made my way to my dormitory. No it hadn't. How did that happen? I was going to wake up in the morning and hit myself for dreaming something so cruel. I pinched myself just to make sure.

Merlin, I wasn't dreaming.

* * *

_A/N: So practically nothing happened in this chapter except what we have waited a complete twenty chapters for! Or at least I did. I actually planned on this story ending at nineteen chapters but obviously that changed... Ahem. Thanks for the kitten name suggestions, I've figured one out, and I didn't actually use any of yours (sorry! I loved them all though! :D) but they gave me ideas. So we'll see that little guy next chapter! Anyways, hope this update wasn't too terrible. Forgot what else I was going to say. Yeahhh so, thank you so much for reading, you guys are amazing, see you next chapter! :)_


	21. Chocolate and Maps But Not Together

_Chapter Twenty-One_

**Chocolate and Maps But Not Together**

I knew he'd entered the room by the way the atmosphere physically shifted; the air was filled with warm, feverish whispers at the grace of his presence, and though their words were not audible, it was hard to ignore their significance.

It was absurdity that I'd never noticed it before, honestly, and the looming and overbearing pain in my stomach was just an unfair reaction on my own part. Several vital organs - like my head and stomach, just to name a few - had suffered invariably due to Sirius, what with the unjust butterflies and the crazed, warring thoughts, and the fact that I hadn't notice such a slight thing and was now creating additional pain for myself was just downright indecent to do to my poor organs.

I just never had any particular reason to notice how girls reacted to Sirius. If I ever had noticed, I wouldn't have necessarily cared, either, would I? I used to just think that _he_ was the one who had taken to all the girls all these years. And it wasn't that he hadn't, but it took two to tango and he had certainly always been well received. He had that _effect_.

It wasn't as if he was a celebrity, though. He was certainly no Gilderoy Lockhart (the man was a good ten years older than me and I'd never cared to read his single best-selling Voyages with Vampires, but he was quite the looker and I'd heard of girls fainting at his book signings). So no, he wasn't quite like that_. _Sirius was just another bloke, after all, but it was almost natural to pay more attention to those that were better looking, and that was the way people reacted when he walked into a room. Like they were doing right then.

I chanced a look his way and found him just making way through the door. He ran an idle hand through his dark hair, tousling it back from his face and setting it into place like a trademark. He had a carefree stride as he passed through, and a group of girls who had previously been bent over their textbooks glanced up slowly and without regard as he slid past them. Their eyes lingered for a few moments and then fell back to their own business shortly. That was the effect he had. Subtle, but definite, and impossible to deny.

Perhaps not impossible, but definitely pointless.

I'd really never noticed Sirius like that. Sure, I'd always known he was attractive, and sure, I'd always known he'd had it easy when it came to "getting a bird," as James liked to say, but I'd never noticed the stares. Subtle they might be, they still were unsettling. People didn't look up like that when _I_ walked in the room, after all.

It was almost like seeing him in an entirely new light. What else had I missed? It frightened me a bit, as much I regretted thinking it. I was treading hazy waters and it unnerved me, like when I'd admitted my fancy to Lily or when I'd come _this_ close to kissing Sirius. There was so much up at stake. So much to lose…

But there was that, the fact that I _had_ kissed him. Not almost. I really had. My overwhelming, squeamish feelings were returned, though possibly less squeamish on his part, and that alone was heart stopping. All these girls, with their eyes darting to and from him, and he'd chosen me. What was that? I wasn't even dreaming. Believe me, I'd checked numerous times.

They were only whispers, anyways. They weren't death threats or glares aimed my way. It was innocent attention on their parts, and really, who could blame them?

"Hi."

I looked up and the boy of question was in front of me, grey eyes glinting mischievously, mouth turned upwards at one corner. My heart hammered in my throat and suddenly my train of thought hit a stop, because what good did over analyzing ever do, really?

Remus, James, Lily, and Peter were all sitting around me, but he sat down and didn't acknowledge a one of them. It was me he had approached, me had had singularly said hello to, me that currently held his full attention. It was an odd thing to internalize, as well as pulse driving. One night and everything was drastically different. Odd. There were boundaries that had been set without either of our knowledge, and they had now been indefinitely crossed with no hope of redemption. It hadn't just happened overnight, though. It took me a long time to finally accept that I couldn't just see Sirius as a normal friend anymore. He wasn't just a Remus or James or Peter. He was unique, very, very unique, and now we were in unknown territory, staring each other down, waiting for the other to make the next move.

"Hey," I tossed back, and he smiled curiously as he took the seat directly across from me at the table. I held his gaze and smiled back, saying nothing more. He raised a brow, questioning me silently, and I mimicked him, raising my own brow. He frowned and I frowned, he stared blankly and so did I. He was beginning to get frustrated and that was the end of my mimicking; when he narrowed his eyes I broke and burst out laughing.

It took a few moments for me to sober and when I'd returned to my senses, he was smiling in accomplishment that he'd defeated me. I realized slowly then that the other four were staring at us incredulously and the look on Sirius's face indicated that he'd only just noticed also.

"Hello, you lot," he said, nodding to them sheepishly and shooting me a sly smile.

They all mumbled hellos, someone throwing in an, "inconsiderate nutcases," but it went straight over our heads and the other four quickly resumed their studying unperturbed. I decided it would be wise if I did so as well, seeing as that was what I had been doing before Sirius unceremoniously interrupted. I dipped my head over my book and zoned my focus in on the words with diligence. I kept trying to process their meaning in my head, over and over and over, but the longer I went on, the more difficult it was to focus. The Fourth Ancient Goblin War did not prove to be very enthralling. It didn't help that Sirius was repeatedly tapping my shin with the front of his shoe, either.

I glanced up with resignation and found he was already looking at me, like he'd been waiting for me to give up for hours. He mouthed, "Let's go," and nodded to the door.

The Fourth Ancient Goblin War wasn't going to change tomorrow, was it? I closed my book quickly and cast skeptical glances towards the others; Sirius shrugged, seeming to agree that we didn't need to bother them by announcing our departure. They probably would be very unhappy when they realized we'd run off without them, but they were busy, and that was my excuse.

I gathered my things and tossed them in my bag with no reaction from the others. I left then with Sirius in silence, and when we got through the great wooden doors that were our freedom, Sirius glanced back over his shoulder and waved with a cheeky grin.

"Who're you waving at?" I asked as he closed the door with a kick.

"Our friendly lot," he laughed. "Did you see the looks on their faces?"

"No, I didn't dare look," I said, squeezing my shoulders inward like I was frightened.

"They looked a little… ah… put off. Lily especially."

"You think they suspected something?"

"What's to suspect?" He winked. "Nah. Well, where are we off to, Gracie?"

I hummed thoughtfully and drummed my fingers along my chin. "Dunno. Where do people go at one o'clock on a Saturday afternoon?"

"Hogsmeade it is!" Sirius announced with excitement. "You always have the best ideas."

I rolled my eyes and let him lead me through the castle by the hand. I liked the feeling of our fingers interlocked because it reminded me that this was real. There was no drifting off back to the friend zone. He was holding me here on the other side of this boundary and I felt so inexplicably safe. Just a simple little gesture. It was nice. After weaving through endless corridors, we finally ended up outside in the chill air. I pulled him along this time with increased enthusiasm.

"It's so warm today!" I yelped, darting off from Sirius and into the village.

But I was only away from Sirius for a moment. I slipped promptly on an ice patch and landed on my bum with a thud.

I groaned loudly and shook off his attempts to help me up. His manic laughter wasn't aiding my dignity. I stuck my tongue out at him when he stuck his hand out again and offered help. Feeling mischievous, I took advantage of the moment, gripped his fingers, and yanked him down on the ground beside me. He in turn took advantage of our proximity and scooped my face in his hands. He planted a kiss on my lips and then pulled away, looking just as mischievous. "You know, it really isn't _that_ warm today."

"But you're always cold, so your opinion is irrelevant," I said matter-of-factly. I wrestled myself to my feet and helped him up from the ground.

"You know a place that's really warm? Honeydukes. I'm in dire need of a sugar fix."

I went along with him without mentioning I'd been craving a licorice wand for ages. Half an hour of digging through Honeydukes later, a rather satisfied looking Sirius was sitting on a half-frozen bench with a bag overflowing with numerous sweets. I was perched on the bench in the spot beside him, watching with amusement as he pulled out his precious finds and inspected them beneath the hazy sunlight.

"Look at this," he said, holding out a piece of chocolate. "This looks odd. I think it's dirt flavored. You try it."

I was about to protest and claim that he was disgusting, but he shoved the chocolate in my mouth and cut my words short. I grumbled but found after a few discontented moments that it was in fact _not_ dirt flavored and was actually quite delicious. I couldn't put my finger on the taste, and so I decided it must just be a magical flavor. It seemed to fit.

"Well, that wasn't quite a _dirt_ reaction." He eyed me thoughtfully. "Is it any good?"

"Mhm," I mumbled with a little nod.

"Really?"

I swallowed the last bit and said, "Yeah. Here, try it for yourself." I reached for another piece and held it in front of his mouth. He bit off a piece of chocolate, then savored it slowly, eyes lighting up. I took the rest of the chocolate in my hand and smeared it over his mouth before he could move again. He laughed, started as if he was going to say something, but I didn't let him finish and instead leaned in and pressed my mouth against his. I kissed the chocolate away, slowly, resisting his laughter by pulling myself in close to him and kissing him even more fervently. He tasted marvelously, and when the chocolate was gone, Sirius finally sobered, returning the kiss just as passionately. We got lost in that moment, so tangled up and drawn into each other that when we finally had to break apart, I was breathless.

"Little trickster," Sirius breathed against my skin teasingly.

I pulled back and straightened myself. "Sorry," I said, reddening, "people could have seen that, couldn't they? I forgot." Most of the seventh years were in a craze over NEWTs and had spent the day inside, so anyone I was overly acquainted with probably wasn't in risk of seeing that, but there were still people with rambunctious and uncontrollable mouths around.

He shrugged. "So what?"

"Well. I dunno." I looked at him blankly.

"Hm." He tilted his head slightly. "I mean, I see your point. We could just keep this low-key."

I nodded. We'd been fairly hushed about it already, really, without even communicating it. "Just for now, you know? It's kind of sudden."

"Yeah. Good thinking." He poked me in the side. "Want more chocolate?"

"Sure." Then I smiled, and added, "I'll keep my hands off you this time."

He laughed lightly and fed me another chocolate. I hummed a 'mmm,' and he said quietly, "Don't make promises you don't intend on keeping, Gracie."

* * *

"Ahem." Lily was staring me down, eyebrows raised sternly. She was sitting at the edge of the divan with a look that pinned me to the spot. The rest of the common room was bustling with vivacious noise, as the afternoon had just passed into evening. "Where have you and Sirius been going off to all this time?"

"I'm sorry, what?" I looked up innocently from the last page in the History book about that damned Fourth Ancient Goblin War, which I had, I am proud to say, finally completed reading.

"Where are you two all the time? You're never there in free periods, I hardly ever see you at dinner, and on weekends, you're practically unreachable! I know you fancy him, Gracie, but that's just plain suspicious behavior. If you're not planning on telling him, you're probably just leading him on—"

"Lily," I said suddenly, "I am not leading him on. Let's leave it at that."

Her eyes bugged a little. "Wait, what does that mean?"

"We are leaving it at that," I reminded her patiently and tossed my feet up. There was a squirm at the end of the couch I was seated on and the kitten purred discontentedly and hopped to the ground.

Lily pressed her lips together firmly, studying me, but the gaze was broken when she glanced down at the kitten that'd curled up at her feet. "He likes me better because he thinks you're mean," she told me in a childish tone.

I rolled my eyes. "I finally named him," I said fondly, gazing down at the little ginger furball.

"Really? What's his name, then?"

"Leo."

"Leo? Why Leo?"

"Well, Sirius's got this obsession with the sky and the stars, you know? And I figured I'd name him something that had to do with Sirius. Leo's a constellation, and it means lion, and I think that's incredibly fitting for this little guy. He's like a Gryffindor mascot! Plus, I can totally see him as a lion. Look at that fierce mane."

"Hm," Lily said vaguely and scooped Leo up in her hands. He purred sweetly, a harmless little thing. "Well, I think it suits him. He'll have to work on the fierce bit, though."

"Don't worry. Soon you'll be cowering at the sound of his growl. Right, Leo?"

The kitten made no response and Lily laughed and let him down back onto the floor. "You know, this kitten isn't helping your whole Sirius case, either."

"What's to help? I don't need help with any case, thank you. I'm perfectly innocent."

Lily sighed but could make no further argument as four familiar boys made their way downstairs from the dormitories. James was at her side in no time, clearly intruding upon her personal space, but the offense was noted by neither and James gave her a happy kiss on the cheek. He regarded me afterwards, nodding. "'Ello, Gracie. What are you two up to?"

"Discussing Gracie's suspicious activities," Lily pouted, glaring at me.

James scooted off of the divan Lily occupied and seated himself properly on an armchair, glancing between the two of us curiously. The other three appeared, consumed in a conversation of their own, and seated themselves before us without greeting.

"The Map took us two years to finally complete," Sirius was saying crossly, "and we will certainly _not_ be leaving it where it is." This comment was aimed towards Peter, who shrunk back in self defense.

"I only think Filch has got it heavily protected is all," Peter attested. "Remember when you tried to raid his files before in fifth year? You got a week's worth of detention."

Lily's irritated look fell and we shared instead a look of confusion.

Remus sighed, running a hand through his hair absentmindedly. "I've never seen Filch do any magic, though, so how guarded could it really be? Do we even know he's a wizard?"

"I heard he was a Squib," said Sirius.

"And Sirius really only got detention because he went about his rummaging of the files very carelessly," Remus pointed out, to which Sirius nodded readily.

This time James piped up hopefully. "So you think we really can get it back?"

"Get what back?" Lily asked, and James looked at her as if he would answer, but the others continued their quickly escalating conversation as if they hadn't heard her.

"Most definitely," Remus said with a brisk but assured nod.

Sirius growled with scorn. "That lousy little caretaker."

"So when will we do it?"

"Tonight, possibly, though I reckon tomorrow would work better. We ought to really think it through first."

"Should all of us go? The cloak will only cover two of us at most."

"_What_ are you looking for?" Lily asked, this time with more fire, and the boys all stopped and stared with wide eyes, as if they'd only just realized she and I were there. "Because it sounds as if you're planning on breaking school rules, and if I hear that any one of you has been caught out at night—you especially, James, you're Head Boy!—I will personally deduct House points, and we'll lose the House cup and I'll make sure everyone knows it was of your doing. All four of you."

James gulped. "Lily, it's not like we're up to no good, it's just that—"

"It's just that we would like to retrieve something that Filch snobbily stole from us," Sirius said bitterly.

"More like, Sirius and James were sneaking out last night and Filch caught them," Remus corrected without patience, "and he happened to confiscate one of our possessions."

"Not like he'll be able to read it," Sirius muttered, crossing his arms.

"You two were _sneaking out_ last night? What on earth for?" Lily demanded.

"It was harmless, really," James said quickly. "We'd just forgotten to bring my cloak along, that was all—"

"So irresponsible! And you got caught, too! How much trouble did you two get in? What a terrible example to set as a dignified House leader! Terrible, James Potter, I cannot believe you…"

It didn't end there, but that was the end of what I clearly heard. Lily continued scolding James like a misbehaved puppy and I took advantage of the moment to lean over to Sirius and ask in a hushed tone, "What did Filch confiscate?"

"Our map," Sirius said, leaning into me as well. "The Marauder's Map, to be specific. Created by messers Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs." He beamed with pride momentarily, then dimmed. "It's bloody brilliant, I wish I could show you. We've used it to sneak out onto the ground every full moon for years, among other things, of course. It's a map of Hogwarts. Shows the location of each and every person located in the castle."

"Every person?" I asked in disbelief.

"Every each and every one."

I was about to ask why he'd never showed it to me before, or in the very least _mentioned_ it, but Peter let out a fearful yelp and my attention was redirected to him instead. Leo had crawled up into his lap and was purring prudently, oblivious to Peter's dismay. He squirmed and tried to pry the feline off of him, but Leo stuck to him like a Sticking Charm and licked his paw as a sign that he was perfectly content as he was.

"It's only a kitten, Wormtail," Sirius said with a laugh, visibly softening. "If you were in rat form, perhaps I could see reason for the intimidation, but you're the bigger one in this situation."

I rolled my eyes as Peter continued to shrink back for safety into the sofa, and I stood and scooped Leo into my hands. I kissed the top of his head fondly and dropped him into Sirius's lap instead, who promptly wrinkled his nose.

"It's a _kitten_, Gracie," he said with disdain.

"It's only a kitten, Padfoot," I mocked with a grin. "Which you very kindly picked out for me. I was just telling Lily earlier that I'd named him Leo."

"Leo?" He regarded the kitten on point, running a hand along his fur. "Like the constellation?"

"Precisely."

"Like a little Gryffindor mascot," Sirius commented, peering down at the creature curled up in his lap.

"Exactly! See, Lily, someone agrees!"

Lily had finished her scolding and resumed reading a book checked out from the library, and only scowled in visible response. "Well, you two must be soulmates then."

James let out a laugh, hopped back over to Lily's side and hugged her around the waist, looking desperate to win back over her approval, which he seemed to have lost. I glanced back at a smirking Sirius and smiled bashfully, and he reassured me with a wink.

The night continued on with playful banter between James and Lily, who had seemed to be getting on fine again in no time, and a loud bushel of noise erupted from our corner as we divulged into our books and called out random facts across to each other periodically, our attempt at a group study. Lily had evidently retired the idea that she would be getting anything productive done anyways and joined in, quick to swing the subjects from one end of the spectrum to another and laugh at the puzzled faces she produced. When James didn't know an answer, he went on vigorously and created an elaborate lie that might have convinced the average Joe Shmoe, of which Sirius readily went along with and supported with his own string of elaborate lies. Peter decided to ask the questions as he could hardly keep up or get out an audible response above James and Sirius, and Remus buried his nose in a book in a real attempt to study, though even he couldn't help but feed in his own retorts every once in a while. I kept asking Sirius about details I was wary about in the Ancient Goblin Wars, and he'd respond by telling a completely honest lie, sometimes joined by James, and once they even both cut into song about goblins that were mistaken as trolls and then drowned in a river of green.

And that was how January had ended in our seventh year at Hogwarts, a bustling mess of laughter and other unclassified things.

* * *

_A/N: That was quite a long break for my liking. Sorry for being away for so long :( I don't know if I gave off the impression that this story was dwindling to an end last chapter, and if I did, I apologize! This story isn't ending after at least fifty chapters. I've planned it all out numerous times and I keep going back to elaborate on certain parts I want to give more credence, so I don't have an exact number down yet, but the tentative chapter count as of now is fifty._

_Anyhow, on a random note, I was writing out my timeline for this story and oh my goodness gracious did James and Lily get married early! Lily's nineteen and James is only eighteen, for goodness sakes! Of course, I chose the date, but it's said that they were married somewhere between the fall of 1978 (they graduate in the summer of 1978, ahem) and the summer of 1979. I'm not telling you when I've chosen the date to be, teehee! But dear, dear, dear, that's close to only a year's span of time. Gee, you two! Oh well. Love 'em both. :) _

_And by the way, if any of you noticed, my picture has changed, and the man in the picture is in fact Ben Barnes and my chosen favorite version of a young Sirius. Isn't he adorable? Haha okay, that's it for now. Reviews would be greatly appreciated. Until next time, lovelies!  
_


	22. He Screams Like A Girl

_Chapter Twenty-Two_

**He Screams Like A Girl**

The Great Hall was pink.

"_Rose_," was Alex Fronsac's snide correction of the statement I'd accidentally blurted aloud. He sauntered by in the entrance and off towards the Ravenclaw table. I stared after him momentarily in suspended disbelief, but I reminded myself that Fronsac had always been nothing but a square-headed git, and that he was definitely not worth it. Ironically (and this was not the _good_ type of ironically, if such a thing existed), it seemed as if that was not the only time I would be seeing the aforementioned boy that morning. I returned my stare to the state of the Hall instead, and I stared so long that I had to jog to catch up with the oblivious—or at least unaffected—Lily.

"What in Merlin's name has happened to this place?" I asked her, rather flustered. A dwarf narrowly evaded my foot and dashed off, cursing me as he disappeared from view.

"Valentine's day, of course," Lily answered nonchalantly, sitting herself down at the table.

Of course? It wasn't like the Great Hall had ever been decorated like this for Valentine's day before. Normally, the students went to Hogsmeade over the weekend and stacked up on sweets to hand out for Valentine's day, but never had the teachers completely remodeled the Great Hall for the holiday. Never had they _devastated_ it in such a horrific way. I guessed it was upon the new Care of Magical Creatures professor's suggestion. She was oddly frilly for a woman who specialized in the caretaking of beasts; somehow I couldn't quite place her name. I hadn't even really thought of that class since third year.

The pink, though—yes, Fronsac, _pink!_—was fairly overwhelming. A little pipsqueak of a fairy darted around my head and just narrowly dodged a collision with my face; I groaned aloud and sat beside Lily, wondering how this entire spectacle wasn't disturbing her. There were strings of hearts on the wall for crying out loud. It was nothing but retch-worthy chaos. Dwarves in little mini pink suits, dwarves with little fluttery white wings—_why were they wearing wings when there were plenty of fairies about?_—dwarves with bows and arrows, dwarves singing songs and dwarves chucking things that looked like licorice—

Oh, Merlin save the school. There was only one explanation for all of this. Hogwarts had fallen.

"What's going on?"

Suddenly Remus was at my side and I figured he'd gotten there when I was in the middle of staring at the horror that was now our school. With a glance at his face, his expression seemed to say he was just as baffled as I was.

"Death Eaters," I whispered with conviction.

He snorted and for some reason did not look overly convinced. Sirius appeared on Remus's side just as suddenly as Remus had arrived, looking indifferent and just a bit smug. "Remus, I have a present for you!"

Remus eyed him warily, and the look only increased in intensity when Sirius slid a red box across the table and placed it in front of him. Remus did not look as if he even wanted to touch the thing.

After a few idle moments, Sirius cried with far too much enthusiasm, "Aren't you going to open it?"

"I don't think so."

"I promise it won't _blow up_, Moony, gracious."

"Padfoot, your promises have not always been known to be the most credible."

I twitched in my seat. "Can I open it?"

Remus looked almost relieved and began to pass it over. "Sure—"

"No," Sirius cut in quickly, grabbing the box back, "it's for _Remus_."

I pouted and folded my arms. "Meanie."

Sirius winked when Remus wasn't looking, and I reckoned that he looked far too mischievous for Remus's comfort.

"Open it, Moony! I paid twenty sickles for this, and I do not intend on it going to waste, thank you very much."

"Twenty sickles." Remus glanced over at me and rolled his eyes. "He says that as if it's his entire fortune."

"I know, and it's not like he doesn't waste all of his money on sweets _anyways_."

Sirius sighed. "You know," he said, and he pulled on his hair, looking as if he was trying to inspect it, "after this, Moony, I think you'll have to check my hair for grays. I'm getting _old_ here."

"Will you give my eulogy after this, Gracie? Because frankly, I don't trust Sirius here with _that_, either—"

"Remus!"

"Right, right, I'm working on it." He raised the lid and turned it over onto the table, revealing three rows of delicate looking chocolates. Of _course_ it was chocolate. It seemed to be the only thing Sirius could concentrate about for more than five minutes. Remus, however, looked as if he would never be able to fathom an appropriate response for this. "Really, Padfoot, this is just ridiculous—"

Neither of them were paying attention to the opened box, so I took advantage of the moment to sneak a chocolate and pop it into my mouth. Perhaps Sirius and I both shared a weakness for it. Neither of them had seemed to notice my thievery and I sat there with my hands folded in front of myself innocently.

"—even think I'd _ever_ fall for that, not after last year with Prongs. I know you like to say I'm thick-headed, but I'm _not_, and this—"

Then Remus stopped. His eyes fell to the box and he slowly swiveled to me. I noticed with amusement that Remus and Sirius both had the same looks on their faces.

"Gracie..."

They both stared, but I felt rather unaffected. Normally, I knew that I would have snapped at them or questioned as to why they were looking like they did, but I did neither. In fact, I suddenly didn't even really feel like being with either of them at all.

Sirius dashed to my other side, and I thought how it was a shame that he wanted to talk to me now that I was just getting ready to leave. Perhaps I would just excuse myself politely.

"Gracie, do you feel okay?" Sirius asked, and I felt strangely offended. Of course I was okay! Why did he ask that like I was a child?

"I'm _fine_," I said with bite. "I'm going to go now. Do you see Alex Fronsac anywhere?"

I didn't realize what I'd asked at first, but after a moment it oddly seemed to fit. Yes, that was who I wanted to see; there was no one I wanted to see more, in fact. I sat up straighter in my seat, craning my neck to find Fronsac—no, _Alex_, why had I ever called him Fronsac?—and for some reason, I noticed the pink tapestries and the little gliding fairies and it all seemed so much lovelier. Lovely... _love_...

How had I not realized it? I loved Alex Fronsac! I was absolutely mad for him. Every cell in my body suddenly ached for him, for his face, for his obnoxious mouth. I stood up with determination and I had my mind set on searching the Ravenclaw table, but my aspirations were quickly cut short as two strong pairs of arms pulled me back down on both sides. I gasped in horror.

"You are definitely not going anywhere," Sirius said forcefully, and I glared at him menacingly.

"Both of you let go!" I shrieked, squirming in their grip.

I was kicking and spitting and trying to get them off, but they were relentless. "Gracie, honestly, you're so feisty, just calm down for two seconds!"

"Why did you choose Fronsac of all people?" Remus aimed this at Sirius, to which I snapped in response and re-directed my glare at his alarmed face.

"Why _not_ Alex? Don't be such an insensitive git, Remus!"

"Oh, lord," Sirius sighed.

Remus wasn't too affected by my scolding, which infuriated me. "That was a cruel move, mate. I mean, really, you couldn't have at least chosen a _girl?_"

"That _certainly_ would not have helped the current situation at hand," said Sirius.

"How long does it take for this to wear off?" Remus's voice lowered. "Because I don't fancy asking Lily for help right about now—"

"Let _go_!"

"Six hours," Sirius sighed wistfully, "and the way things are going, it looks like she's going to notice something's up anyways."

"_Six hours?_ Were you _trying _to kill me?"

All I really wanted was to see Alex's beautiful face. He really did have such a beautiful face. And such a lovely mind... Everything about him was beautiful. And here were these _toerags_, trying to keep me from him.

With more force, I wrenched myself free from their grasps and sprinted away with a flash of energy. My mind was in such a flurry but all I could think about was how much I wanted to hear Alex's voice. Maybe I'd get him to tell me the color of the Great Hall just so I could hear him say _rose_. He made the word sound so lovely, didn't he?

A hand yanked me back and I managed to slip free again, but before I could celebrate my escape, two arms were crushing me and holding me to the spot. I responded defensively and ground my heel into my bloody _captor's_ foot. Sirius let out a yelp of pain and there, finally, I was free again at last.

I spotted Alex's face just meters away at his table. Various eyes were watching me but I did not care about them; I would worry about their blatant rudeness later. At the moment, all I wanted was Alex Fronsac's attention, and it seemed as if I was going to have to work some more to get it.

I ran to him, closer but not close enough, and Sirius found me again, pulling me back. He was not going to win _this_ one.

"_Alex!_"

There, that got his attention. See? I'd already won. I wanted to rub it in Sirius's face, but suddenly Alex turned his head and I forgot all about the stupid possessive boy behind me. My heart fluttered unnaturally and I wanted to screech with joy.

"Hachette?"

He seemed surprised, and I fathomed it was the pleasant kind of surprised; my heart soared and I absolutely could not control myself.

"Alex! Do you—"

Sirius covered my mouth with his hand, muffling the rest of my sentence. I grew furious within an instant and bit down hard on his fingers.

He yanked his hand away, cursing, "Ow, dammit, Gracie! Do _not _go an—"

But I did not hear what he did not want me to do, because I was already alight with excitement again at the sight of Alex Fronsac's beautiful eyes. I wondered what color they were. I couldn't see them hardly well at all, but my brain told me that they were beautiful, and I gladly accepted the fact.

I still had Alex's full attention and so I took advantage of it eagerly.

"Do you want to snog me in a broom cupboard somewhere?"

Sirius was still swearing behind me but I was not going to just _give up_ because _he_ was being a prick.

I waited for Alex's response, but his expression just fell blank, satisfying neither my desire nor my racing heart.

"What?"

How could such an intelligent boy not understand such a _simple_ question... It was beyond me. But I did not grow impatient, and instead happily repeated myself.

"Do you want to snog me in a broom cupboard? Or, anywhere, really, I've never been a fan of public displays of affection but if you'd rather right now then I'd gladly make an excep—"

Sirius quickly ripped me away and out of nowhere threw me over his shoulder like a rag doll. I let out another shriek and kicked him violently.

"Alex! Alex! _Alex!_"

"Gracie! For the love of all that is right and magical, would you just please—"

"I love you!" I said over Sirius's scolding and screamed my throat dry. "Don't let him take me away! _I LOVE YOU!_"

I heard Remus's voice somewhere below, chastising, "And to think this it what you would have done to me, Sirius..."

"It still could be, mate, watch yourself," Sirius warned.

But I didn't care about either of them, and Alex was gliding farther and farther away as Sirius carried me off.

"I LOVE YOU! ALEX FRONSAC, LET'S RUN AWAY TOG—"

And then the doors to the Great Hall slammed shut in my face.

* * *

"I'm never eating chocolate again," I whimpered against the floor. I was currently curled up in a ball in between a couple of deserted bookshelves in the library, rocking myself back and forth.

Sirius sighed, patting my head. "I will never _let_ you eat chocolate again."

"Could have been worse," said Remus.

Sirius scoffed. "Yeah, you're not the one that got screamed at, stomped on, bit, and kicked."

"You asked for it."

"You think Lily heard anything?" It was almost humorous how this had become our first reaction whenever any one of us did anything out of line.

"I think she'll have our heads on a shiny silver platter later," I answered flatly. "Which isn't _really_ fair, because it's technically all _your_ fault—"

"What time is it?" asked Remus.

"Not late enough," Sirius groaned.

We'd been hiding in the library since breakfast. The boys had rather quickly silenced me and tried as many spells as they could think of; Finite Incantem hadn't done a thing and they even went so far as to try _Rictusempra_, which had only sent me into a fit of torturous and silent giggles. Sirius had the job of holding me down while I kicked and bit and squirmed and screamed (silently, of course) while Remus desperately searched the bookshelves for something to "reverse the damage," as Sirius had described it.

But even after they'd finally gotten me back to my senses, there was no way to completely reverse _that_ damage, I told myself bitterly. And I had Potions with the Ravenclaws that afternoon, of all the damned luck.

I buried my face in my arms. "I'll stay here and you all can go to class. Don't worry about me." I waved at them blindly.

"Let's go," Sirius said, attempting to pull me up from the ground. "We've got Herbology first and I heard we get to handle bubotubers this class."

"I don't like bubotubers," I murmured.

"Why not? They're cute."

"They look like obese bogeys, Sirius!"

"Well, if you look at them _that_ way, but it's always about perspective, Gracie, you know..."

I moaned with annoyance, "Go away."

Sirius let out a breath. "I could just pick you up again."

"No!" I quickly sat up and jumped to my feet. "You'll never take me alive!"

He rolled his eyes. "Thank you. Let's go." He pushed me forward lightly to get me moving.

Remus just laughed lightly and wrapped a protective arm around my shoulders. Sirius huffed a little at the gesture, and I guessed absentmindedly that he would have had liked to get to me first, but he clearly hadn't, and besides, it was his fault I'd started confessing love for _Fronsac._ Of all the people! I should have been bashing Sirius's head into the wall at this point.

But I wouldn't, because I loved the buggering idiot. The thought was easy on my mind—especially compared to the crazy love I had just experienced only the hour before—probably because I always _had_ loved him. He'd been my best friend for as long as I cared to remember and it just felt natural to love him.

Now I wasn't _in_ love with him, because that one little additional word was just positively _leaping_ to all sorts of crazy ideas. But then again, I didn't see how one word could really make too much of a difference, and I decided the feeling, whatever it was, did not need a formal title.

Besides. It was still his fault that I'd so publically humiliated myself and I could not just very well forget about _that_.

* * *

Later that night, after I'd successfully survived all of my classes and sort-of-kind-of apologized to Fronsac and then dashed off madly for the exit, I finally stumbled up to bed with my head spinning from the toil of the long day and far too much time spent studying in the library. Too much had happened that day, what with the morning's events and the tiresome yodeling dwarf that Sirius had follow Remus around all day and sing pitiful and ear-piercing love songs to him between class periods. Peter had exempt himself somehow from Sirius's holiday wrath, fortunately for him. Peter and James were the only two that had seemed to take the day seriously at all, really. James had been surprisingly mild this time around, but I had noticed a bouquet of pink and white lilies on Lily's dresser that afternoon. Quite clever on his part, playing up the whole 'lily' thing. Peter had gotten Lucy O'Daley a charmed box of truffles that proclaimed that she was the most beautiful girl to ever exist every time she opened the box. I really had to restrain myself from commenting on that.

When I opened the door to my dormitory that night determined to finally get rest, however, I was welcomed by the sounds of screaming.

It took me a few moments to realize that my dorm mates weren't screaming at the sight of me and that, in fact, no one had even realized I'd entered at all. I closed the door behind me, staring wide-eyed, and scanned the rooms for signs of peril. The only thing that seemed out of place, however, was the huddle of girls surrounding the bathroom door.

I nearly collided into Mary, who looked panic-stricken. "Gracie! Oh my God, there's—"

"—what do we do? _I'm_ not opening the door!—"

"Someone go get McGonagall! We can't just trap it in there and we very well can't just let it go—"

"How the hell did it get _in_ here?"

"It's the _Grim!_ We're all going to _die!_"

I turned to Mary, trying to raise my voice over the noise, "What's going on?"

"There's a dog," Mary said quickly, pointing to the closed bathroom door. My eyes widened. "A wolf. I don't know. It's big, and black, and Georgia's been screeching about how it's the Grim for a half hour."

"You've _got_ to be kidding."

That could not be Sirius. But where else would a _black dog_ have come from?

It didn't quite make sense, and I tried to click it together in my mind, Sirius trapped in the bathroom, but it still didn't make sense. Why the hell would he be in the dorm at all? How had he even gotten up the stairs? I shoved my way past the girls.

"All right, everyone, back up, I'll get it," I said with a heavy sigh. With my luck, it probably wasn't Sirius and was in fact a ferocious and deadly dog-wolf thing. But if it _was_ Sirius, calling McGonagall would only make things much, much worse. Sirius wasn't a registered Animagi, after all, and the entire situation playing out in my mind seemed to have a million possible terrible endings.

"Gracie, it'll eat you!"

"Lucy, I'll be fine, but thank you for the concern," I said, trying to maintain my patience. I slowly clicked the door open and peeked my head inside.

There was the big terrible scary beast of question, sitting on the bathroom floor and staring up with big puppy dog eyes. It was funny how much he really did honestly resemble Sirius in that moment. I rolled my eyes.

"Come here, you mutt."

"Gracie, what are you _doing_?" Eunice Wilk hissed, and I just waved her off.

Sirius the dog slowly scrambled on all four paws, and walked over to me, looking uncertain. I was so tempted to kick him, but that might look awful in front of an audience, so I simply reached down and pet the top of his head.

"Look," I said, demonstrating, and scratched the ebony dog underneath his chin, "he's harmless." I gave Sirius a long, hard look, then grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and pulled him along. "I'll take care of it. You all just sleep."

"Gracie, you're going—"

"Georgia, please, I promise it is _perfectly_ fine." And I dragged Sirius off before anyone could make another attempt to stop me. There were alarmed shouts of protest that followed but it all ceased when I slammed the door shut.

We escaped into the hallway, and upon finding it empty, I said, "All right, you can transform or whatever it is you do now."

Sirius just looked up at me and whimpered.

"What?"

He did nothing but sit.

"What, Sirius? Blimey, you drive me crazy." I knelt down on the floor beside him, looking him hard in the eye again, searching for his nonverbal explanation.

The dog took quick advantage of my vulnerable position and licked me in the face. I shrieked and fell backwards, much to Sirius's amusement.

"Sirius! That's disgusting! You can't just do that because you're a dog!"

The dog barked, sounding similar to a kind of laughter, and I wiped my face obsessively to get it dry. I stood back up to give us more distance and nudged him with my foot.

"Are you going to do something?"

He gave me no response and walked past me and towards the stairs.

"Sirius, hell, do you realize that—"

He turned his head and growled fiercely, cutting my words short. I huffed and followed, watching with amazement as he effortlessly bounded down the stairs and landed on the bottom step gracefully. As graceful as a dog could be, anyways. The stairs must not have applied to animals, or, more specifically, Animagi.

"Where are we going?" I groaned, still trailing after the mutt as he darted through the nearly deserted common room at full speed. In seconds flat he'd dashed and was gone from my sight. I stood glued to the spot, staring where he'd been only a moment ago cluelessly.

There were only a few students still hanging around the common room at that time of the night, and all of them seemed either too preoccupied (the couple snogging each other's faces off in the corner) or too drained (the red-eyed girls nodding off by the fire) to notice anything strange going on. A few had glanced up, but they must have decided that they were surely seeing things and had been quick to disregard any such strange events. It wasn't like there was any notable evidence that there had been a dog in the room at all, in fact.

Speaking of which, where had that rangy mutt gotten off to? He'd been right in front of me only a minute ago!

I walked cautiously through the common room, eyes darting about for sign of the great big black dog. There were only a few places he really could have gone, and I certainly hadn't seen him leave from out of the portrait hole... I was going to murder him when I did find—

"_RAHH!"_

A shot of nervous electricity rang throughout my body relentlessly and I let out a high pitched short blood-curdling scream. Sirius was himself again, the hysterical laughter and all, and tried to wrap me in a hug but I shoved him away, gasping and trying to recollect myself.

"You—stupid—don't—arse—_I hate you_—why—"

He was struggling for breath and chased after me as I snaked away to get back to my dorm. "Wait! I'm sorry, Gracie," he panted, straightening himself out, and nodded to a few alarmed looking Gryffindors. "Sorry to all of you as well. _Wait!_" Sirus's voice turned into a low hiss. "Gracie, don't go yet!"

I spun on my heel and regarded him ferociously. "What? Why were you even in my dorm, by the way?"

"Because I meant to get you, but you weren't there," Sirius replied easily, and took my wrist. "I just meant to have a little fun with you, that was all, not give you a heart attack. Now let's go!"

"Sirius, it is after curfew and I have had it up to _here _with you today, I am not in the mood to go anywhere—"

"Let's go, let's go, let's go! We're going to miss our chance! I have got the _perfect_ surprise for you. You'll love it. Promise."

"What exactly do you have planned? Because if it involves fire or dungbombs or anything remotely dangerous then I am walking back up to my dorm."

He whined, pulling on my arm, "Come on, you know you don't want to go back up there anyways. Your dorm mates are no fun at all."

"So it _does_ involve fire or dungbombs or something remotely dangerous?"

"Actually, it does not," Sirius said, puffing his chest. "Well, unless of course you consider Lily as something remotely dangerous."

"Lily? _Lily?_ What are you planning? I am not doing anything to Lily, she will murder me! In my sleep! In case you didn't know, we _happen_ to share a dorm!"

Sirius took my hand and pulled me along out of the common room, resisting my attempts to flee. "It's not just _Lily_. The plan happens to include James as well. But they are just a sub-plan, and the _real_ plan..."

"Get to the point, Sirius."

"That's what I was doing!" he exclaimed. "As I was _saying_, the real plan is much simpler. Quieter. But simple. Don't get your hopes up or anything."

"Seeing as I really cannot comprehend the nonsense you're spewing, I wouldn't worry about disappointing me." I loosened up considerably and poked him in the side where I knew he was ticklish.

He suddenly brightened like a switch. "I almost forgot. One little necessity." He grabbed his wand and waved it in my face before I could retaliate and with a short utterance the corridor was no more.

I clawed at the fabric masking my eyes with irritation but it wouldn't budge. "You _really_ have to blindfold me?"

"It's a surprise, Gracie. Keep up, will you?" There was a smile in his voice. He took my hand again, but gentler this time, and led me down the hallway.

"Where are we going?"

"Again, _surprise_."

"Are we there yet?"

He didn't answer.

"Is that a surprise, too?"

"No."

"Why aren't you talking?"

"I'm a bit preoccupied."

"With what?"

"Walking."

"You can't walk _and_ talk?"

"No."

"Then maybe I'll shut up in case you end up leading me into a wall."

He laughed. "You're safe. For now, anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Then I paused and said, "Wait, that's a surprise too, isn't it?"

"Obviously."

I sighed outwardly. "So many secrets. Too many secrets."

"And not enough _patience_," said Sirius, though he seemed fairly amused, despite my pestering. We stopped walking an hour of trekking through long corridors and crawling up dwindling staircases later (Sirius was quick to point out my exaggeration of this statement). "We're here!" he announced with excitement, leading me only a few more steps. "All right, on three... one, two..."

The wind was cool on my skin. It whipped around me and surrounded me in icy warmth. I took a deep breath of the sweet air.

"Three!"

The blindfold fell from my face, and my eyes fell upon Sirius who was beaming enough to light an entire town. I smiled at the sincerity in his expression and glanced out when he gestured for me to.

I let out a small gasp, looking out and up and all around, spinning just so I could get a glimpse of it all at once. We were on the Astronomy tower, overlooking the castle grounds with the most breathtaking view of the sky. I'd been up here before, of course, but I'd dropped Astronomy two years ago and I'd forgotten how beautiful it could be. I tilted my head back and it was almost as if the stars were so close that you could reach out and grab them with your hands.

Sirius pressed close to my side, breathing softly. "You can see everything... The whole Black family's up there, you know. Andromeda, she's my favorite cousin. She's right there, close to the horizon." He pointed. I had no idea where to look, but his voice was so calm that I couldn't help but fall into his words. "It's supposed to look like a woman in chains with her arms outstretched. In the story, though, Andromeda ends up breaking free eventually." He turned, pointing at something further off. "And there's the star Alphard, who happens to be my favorite uncle." He seemed to choke a little on this but still tried hard to smile. I wanted to ask, but I was too transfixed in everything else that I couldn't bear to make him talk about it right now. "Alphard is a part of the Hydra constellation. Heart of the snake, they call it."

I vaguely remembered him saying he'd been named after the brightest star in Canis Major, and so I asked, "Where's _your_ star?"

"Ah, it's..." His eyes travelled the sky, searching, "right there. Directly above us." He pointed, and that time I think I spotted it. It was the brightest star of them all, sparkling without remorse and outshining the rest.

"The dog star," I recounted, grinning. "Well, look, there's _my_ star."

"Oh, really?" he asked, and I laughed at his facetiousness. "Which one is that?"

"Some people call it the moon." I pointed at the giant, crystal white crescent in the sky.

He laughed loudly. "I don't think that counts."

I frowned. "Why not?"

"Fine," he said, pulling at a corner of my mouth to make me smile. "You can have as much of the moon as you can see right now. I'll be sure to let the rest of the world know."

"We can call it the _Grace Crescent_."

"Sounds good. I'll see it and think of you every time."

I hugged him close and got up on my tiptoes to leave just a brush of a kiss on his cheek. "Let's sit," I said, pulling him down to the ground, to which he readily obliged. I leaned up against the wall and glanced to him, observing his awe-struck and innocent face. "Only because I know you'd never leave if you could."

"That obvious?"

"I just know you."

He reached and laced his fingers in mine. "Is this okay? Up here? I know it's Valentine's day and I didn't actually do anything really big, but I just figured that the day meant more than chocolates and flowers." He stopped, looking undeniably guilty.

I stared curiously.

"Well, I also really just forgot."

I broke out into a laugh, and sighed, falling back into the wall. "No, you're right. It's more than just chocolates and flowers. They don't last anyways, so what's the point?"

"Exactly. So I got you the sky instead," he said, waving a hand at the view.

I turned to him, furrowing my brows thoughtfully. "I don't think that counts."

He tilted his head, a corner of his lips curved upwards. "Why not?"

"Fine," I said, rolling my eyes with a faint smile. "So you got me the _entire_ sky?"

"Of course I did."

"You know, Sirius, I think you're just cheap, that's all this is," I laughed, a taunting tease, to which he gasped.

"Gracie! This will last you _forever_."

"Whatever." He responded by pretending to wipe away sorrowful tears. It was hard not to laugh again, and so I wiggled into his arms and pressed my head against his shoulder. "Thank you," I said softly.

He didn't say anything more, only tilted his head down to meet mine and kissed me gently. We spent the next half hour just sitting and stargazing, leaning into each other and listening to the whisper of the wind. It was simple, but amazing, and after this night I knew I'd never be able to see the sky again the same. I could have just fallen asleep with the lights playing in my eyes, maybe have lost myself in the stars.

After no time at all, or perhaps all the time in the world, Sirius stirred, drawing me from my trance. "We should probably go," he said lightly, though without conviction, as if it was difficult to pull himself away. "It's really, really late. And you know what Lily would say if we got caught out after curfew."

"Yes. I could probably recite it out for you if you wanted," I agreed. "Speaking of Lily, didn't you say something about her and James being a part of some sub-plan of yours?"

"I did. Here, I was going to show you that next, before we left." Sirius stood, helped me to my feet, and leaned over the side of the wall, peering out at the grounds. "Do you see anyone out there?"

We were facing the great wooden doors to the school, with the lake glittering from the moonlight just beside it. "I think so. Those people there?"

"Yes. That's them," said Sirius, grinning wildly.

"Who's them?" I asked, then stared a few moments longer, catching a hint of red. "You mean that's _Lily and James_?"

"Yep. James has had this planned for a week. It took him an eternity to get Lily to sneak out after curfew. I'm not even really sure how he did it."

"What's this sub-plan of yours, then?"

"_Well_," Sirius said, looking sly, "I happened to tell James this one really old Hogwarts myth about a Banshee from Dufftown that visits the grounds the fourteenth of every month, to mourn the death of the man she loved that died on that day in the Triwizarding tournament, hundreds of years ago. She wails and cries and screams bloody murder all night, and anyone that hears her is haunted every day and every night with the sounds of her mourning until they eventually go insane and die."

I stared incredulously. "I've never heard that myth. That can't be true."

"I know, but _he_ doesn't know that," said Sirius, eyes bright with mischief. "Completely came up with it on the spot. He looked like he didn't want to believe it. 'I'm not afraid of a _Banshee_!' he said, but he'll change his mind when he really _does_ hear it."

"What, have you been hiding a Banshee under your robes all this time?" I raised a brow.

"No, I _am_ the Banshee!" he said with enthusiasm.

"But Banshees are women," I said, squinting my eyes with confusion.

"Which is why you'll be helping me."

I eyed him warily. "Okay, but won't someone hear us if we're screaming at the top of our lungs?"

"There aren't any sleeping quarters at this end of the castle," Sirius replied, "which is why we can get away with being up here in the first place."

"Oh, all right then." I waved him on. "After you."

Sirius stood up straight, took a deep breath—I tried to brace myself in the short lapse of silence—and released the loudest, most ridiculous blood curdling scream I'd ever heard. I flinched (despite bracing myself), but soon I was laughing too hard to stand up straight. He didn't stop, defying all matters of science and logic, and just kept on belting out the screams and wails. Below on the grounds, the hazy figures of Lily and James started to move. Slowly at first, but the longer Sirius went on and the greater his voice projected, the more frantic they appeared to get.

Sirius stopped for a breath, laughing up tears at the sight of James scurrying about and fearing for his sanity. "Your turn," he said between laughs.

"Oh, no, I could never top that," I said, shaking my head.

"Who ever _can_?" He winked. "Just kidding. Well, it helps to throw your hands up. More room for your lungs to expand or something like that."

"Are you just making that up?"

"Probably, but it really helps, and it only adds to the whole powerful and mighty façade."

"Like you really need any more of that with that ego of yours," I laughed. "Fine, I'll scream because they're still there. You have to show me how, though."

"Well, first off, throw your hands up, like this," Sirius said, demonstrating, "and then just let the demons loose! Together?"

"Sure. Whenever you're ready."

He turned and released another series of unceremonious and frightening screams. I joined him, expelling with force all the air I could fit in my lungs. I sounded more like a Howler Monkey than anything else, but I reckoned that James had never actually heard a Banshee before so the specifics weren't too important. My voice wasn't nearly as horrifying as Sirius's, but it did add a shrill, eerie pitch to Sirius's already extended scream and soon enough James had grabbed Lily and sprinted mad out of sight.

We fell against the wall when they were gone, laughing so hard that my lungs ached more than when I'd actually been screaming.

"Oh, Merlin, we _have_ to get to the common room before they do," Sirius said quickly, attempting to recollect his posture. "If I'm not in the dorm when James gets back, he'll definitely know it was me."

"So does that mean we have to—"

"Yes, come on, run!" Sirius frantically grabbed my hand and pulled me after him on the stairs, dashing in a craze for his life. "Don't fall!"

"I'm _going_ to fall!"

"No, don't! You'll crush me!"

"Not if you catch me!"

"We're supposed to be running, not falling!"

"Why are we _yelling_?"

"I don't know, but I'm about to burst a lung so shut up!"

"You first, you git!"

"Gladly!"

"Technically you didn't shut up first, because you just said 'gladly.'"

"And neither did you because you just replied!"

"I'm not the only that agreed to shut up first! I'm just trying to help you follow through with your commitments!"

Sirius disregarded me, huffing, "I—really need to run more—often, because I think I'm going to—"

"If you fall, Sirius Black, I will run right over you!"

"You're evil! E-evil!"

I laughed loudly, feeling similarly winded, "Love you, don't forget!"

"I've said it a million times, love and hate are not to be used synonymously—"

"Oh, Sirius, just be quiet," I said, but our yelling soon turned into uncontrollable and exhausting laughter. It wasn't until we got down the incredibly steep spiral staircase that we had to really be quiet and run as silently as we could manage (which we did not manage very well.)

We were incredibly lucky that we only had to make it to the East Wing, where Gryffindor Tower was located, or else we would have likely collapsed unconscious on the floor. Luckily the Entrance Hall was much farther than the Astronomy tower and so despite the laughing and tripping and stories of stairs, we still managed to make it to the common room before Lily and James, red faced and panting and all. The Fat Lady had given us a bit of trouble, but we'd explained fleetingly that we'd tried to get back as soon as we could. She didn't seem to believe it, but Sirius unleashed his "magical charms" (to which I scoffed) and she let us off the hook. She had to, anyway, because technically she had to admit _anyone_ that had the password. She just liked giving the students a hard time and pretending as if she could exhibit some sort of authority. Which she couldn't, because she was a portrait. I didn't remind her of this, though.

By the time we'd stumbled into the warm depths of the common room, Sirius and I had resumed normal and healthy breathing, though Sirius was still glowing from the adrenaline. Sirius was kissing me goodnight when we both heard the portrait hole creak open.

"Uh-oh," Sirius whispered.

"_Run!_" I let out a breathy squeal and we sprinted in the opposite directions, praying for our lives to be spared from Lily's relentless wrath if we were ever discovered.

When I finally got back to my dorm, the room was quiet with gentle sounds of sleeping. I fell face-flat on my bed from the prolonged exhaustion, and I wondered absentmindedly as I drifted off to sleep if Sirius Black would in fact be the death of me.

* * *

_A/N: This chapter gave me absolute hell. -_-" It took me three days to summon the energy to even write it, and when I'd finally finished and was saving the edited version, FF logged me out and I lost the edited version, so I had to RE-edit it. Urgh. That's why this is being released so late, anyway. Heh. :) And also if it is sloppy/makes no sense/etc. that is the reason. (I say this often though so maybe that's not REALLY the reason at all... none the matter.)_

_I had fun writing this, anyway, despite the technical issues. Please leave a review, (I could use some encouragement after my trouble with this lovely website, haha) and thanks so much for reading! Until next time ;)_


	23. Slow Burn

_Chapter Twenty-Three_

**Slow Burn**

March was coming. You could feel it, too; you didn't even need a calendar to know that February was slowly shrinking away and the sweet, fresh warmth of March that promised spring and flowers and no more wool coats was finally settling in. I happened to hate that fat coat of mine. Granted, spring started late into March, but it was plenty enough to be cheery about.

"James, it happened _weeks_ ago."

Well, it _should_ have been plenty enough to be cheery about. Not everyone was quite so cheery.

"I know," James said, looking flustered and disheveled, "but sometimes at night I can still hear that screaming cackle and _it doesn't go away_—"

Needless to say, James had been going on about the 'Banshee incident' ever since it'd happened.

"Shh! You're going to get House points deducted," Lily hissed, looking cross. She was trying to finish her Potions essay we'd gotten permission to work on during class, but James had been ranting and raving about the damn Banshee for most of the class period.

Sirius choked on a laugh and attempted to act nonchalant. Luckily for him, he'd convinced James he'd had nothing to do with it (which was remarkable all in itself), and so James was instead convinced that the Banshee myth was indeed true and that he would go insane and die.

Sirius didn't tell anyone but me that he was the one cackling late at night, either.

Lily, on the other hand, downright refused to talk about the _Banshee_ or even so far as console James on the subject.

"There was no Banshee," Lily told me in a huff the morning after, "I mean, no _real_ Banshee. Sure there was a noise, but that could have been anyone, couldn't it?"

James still hadn't given it up and I suggested to Sirius that he let it go to give James some peace at mind, to which he said he'd _think_ about it. He shot me a smirk from a few seats away, and I rolled my eyes with a faint smile.

Meanwhile my Potions essay was not getting completed in front of me. _Describe the differences between a standard Sleeping Draught and the Draught of Living Death._

_Simple, _I started to write, _the essence of both is the same but one puts you to sleep while one puts you to permanent sleep. _

I stared at that for a few moments before deciding it was not only foolish but completely incorrect and vanished the ink with a flick of my wand. I'd been dreading actually getting up and moving, but it seemed as if the professor was indeed my last available resource. I got to my feet and walked to Slughorn's desk, waiting patiently for him to turn his head up from the piles of parchment he was absorbed in.

"Sir," I prompted, to which he slowly stirred, "sir, I was wondering, last year when we brewed the Draught of Living Death, didn't you say something about one drop of it would surely kill us all?"

He peered over his spectacles, gazing at me oddly, as if he was still waiting for the question. "Yes, I did."

"Well, I was reading in the book that the draught only produces a kind of death-like _slumber_, so it surely wouldn't kill, would it?"

"It's a metaphor, of course," he answered simply. "It would certainly appear to be death to anyone who found the person that had consumed it."

"Then how do you tell if they're really asleep or dead?"

"Well, that's the beauty of the draught, Miss Hachette, because you can't. It's the closest you can come to being dead without really being dead at all."

"But then what's the point? If everyone believes you dead and then they just bury you, you're dead anyways, aren't you? That seems illogical."

"Morticians wait for it wear off, in many cases." This voice was not Slughorn's at all, however, and came from beside me, gently squeezing itself into the conversation. I turned to see Kenneth, who smiled shyly, "Sorry to interrupt. I had a question for the professor and I happened to overhear. But, anyway, if the death is suspicious and the cause is unknown, there is a standard waiting period for any kind of self-induced coma to wear off. That only started because there have been many cases where alchemists make mistakes with potions and send themselves into said slumbers, and then are perceived dead by their families and are buried afterwards. Luckily, though, most have their wands when they're buried and can manage themselves out."

I was still gazing at Kenneth with bewilderment, not necessarily at what he'd said, but at the fact that he had appeared seemingly out of nowhere. And that he was talking to me the first time since November. I tore myself away from the thought, however, and said, "That must have been terrifying for the families."

"Oh, absolutely," Kenneth agreed. "Which is why they take such precautions now. The Draught of Living Death is a very dangerous potion in more ways than one, evidently."

I smiled slightly, then turned to the professor and said, "Okay, that makes more sense. Thank you." I met Kenneth's eyes, wordlessly extending the thank you to him as well, and made my way back to my desk, feeling oddly jumbled.

I put the quill to parchment again. _A standard sleeping draught and a Draught of Living Death both induce sleep in the recipients; the intensities, however, differ greatly, and the two are thus used for entirely separate purposes. _I went on as much as I could, finding slightly more stride, but my diligence was periodically interrupted with the image of Kenneth's face flitting through my mind. I sighed, willing it away, but there was something about his expression that I couldn't shake off. I'd almost thought he'd wanted to say something at first; he had said something, of course, but I'd expected something entirely different.

I found myself glancing up absentmindedly to the spot across the room where he sat. He'd returned to his seat and was bent over his essay, diligent, unlike myself, but there was a reason he was in Ravenclaw, after all. He didn't look up, and I was glad because I was able to watch him curiously for a few more moments.

My gaze drifted to the people seated around him. Ruth, his regular Potions partner. Adrian, a boy I was constantly forgetting was in my year. Marie Claire, the hippogriff. I hadn't even noticed she'd moved. I stopped when I saw Alex Fronsac sitting close to them and snapped my gaze away.

Sirius had apologized again and again for _that_ incident (though he'd commented on the side that it would never have happened if I hadn't been such a thief, but I pretended not to hear). It certainly made me think twice about taking any food from _him_ ever again.

The Ravenclaws had been fairly mellow about the whole situation, after I'd explained it to them, of course, and the only abuse I really received over it at all was actually from Slytherins. They made comments about it when I passed in the halls, _loudly_, so loudly that even the absolutely deaf Sirius heard. There was a fifth year that called me a nutty tramp. All it'd done really was make me laugh—I mean, a _nutty tramp_? Honestly? Someone needed to go check out a book from the library on how to form proper insults. (Not that I happened to be any better, actually, recalling Marie Claire the hippogriff.) When Sirius heard said fifth-year Slytherin, though, he hexed him.

Somehow, by the grace of Merlin, Sirius hadn't been caught and we didn't get any House points taken off. Probably because I yanked him away from the scene as fast as I could and didn't dare look back. I tried telling him that I didn't care about what the Slytherins said—because who did?—but it hadn't done much to convince him.

I really didn't care. Except I didn't want to see Fronsac ever again. But other than that, it was fine. It'd really just become the school joke, which I was fine with, because (for the most part) it was only good-humored. Fronsac and I had both been called to the front to demonstrate the proper way to grind lavender in a mortar one day in Potions, and the room (mostly the boys) exploded in wolf-whistles and cheers. Fronsac had looked like he was going to faint; I just rolled my eyes and smiled and went on with the demonstration. Perhaps Fronsac had received the worse end of the stick. I could deal with a little teasing. I'd been friends with Sirius and James for the majority of the last seven years, after all, so I had long grown accustomed to such things.

But I still wasn't going to make eye contact with Fronsac. Maybe ever again.

I sunk myself back into my essay, determined to get something more done. I'd stared at the remaining blank inches until my mind drifted absently to Romeo and Juliet and I wrote with renewed vigor about how Juliet uses a potion similar to the Draught of Living Death in the play. And then I realized that Slughorn wouldn't even know what Romeo and Juliet was, but I stared at it and left it there because it had added a good three inches to my essay and it was all I had.

Class was over shortly, and before we were dismissed Slughorn told us that he expected us to be regularly studying for our NEWTs and reminded us that the essay would be due in two class periods. I decided that I was definitely going to have to ask Lily to help me finish, because otherwise I'd probably lose all my hair from the stress. Not desirable whatsoever.

I got up slowly, feeling too worn out to exert any considerable effort into leaving. But Sirius saw me and protested immediately; he came up from behind me and pushed me towards the door without proper greeting at all.

"Sirius! I need to get my things, let go," I whined, squirming to get back to my desk and pick up my scattered belongings. He finally let up, throwing his hands up in surrender, and I dashed past him.

"Okay, but hurry up or we're leaving you here all alone!" Sirius called over his shoulder and strode off to where the other four were waiting.

In a fluster, I gathered all of my things—_why_ did I carry three textbooks with me?—as fast as I could manage. It probably could more accurately have been described as throwing it all in the bag, but that wasn't important. I didn't fancy a walk alone to Transfiguration, considering it was all the way on the other side of the school, and so I needed to hurry before the impatient gits abandoned me. My books, several rolls of parchment, two inkwells and a dozen quills tossed about in my bag as I slung it over my shoulder, and I could only pray that the inkwells hadn't broken and leaked all over everything. Especially that Potions essay. _Maybe I should just start packing less in my bag everyday. There's an idea._

"Hey, Grace! Wait up!"

I stopped mid-step, turning on my heel and finding Kenneth there, once again, out of the blue, closer than I had anticipated.

"Oh, hey," I said, as it was the only thing I could feasibly think to say. Was my face hot?

He smiled, and I remembered thinking once that his smile was just another part of his face, like his eyes or his mouth. "Here," he said, holding out a roll of parchment. "You forgot this. I think you'll probably be needing it later."

I stared wide-eyed at the parchment which just so happened to be my Potions essay. Damn Sirius! He'd rushed me and I'd almost forgot the thing! I took it from Kenneth, sighing wearily, but graciously all the same. "Thank you so much. I'm so scattered brained today."

"No problem," he replied easily, pocketing his hands.

I looked up at him, searching his dark eyes for something to say, because it was obvious I needed to say something. We hadn't spoken since November. There had to be some reason he was talking to me now. "Did you finish your essay?" Maybe not the best thing to say. I really ought to have just slapped myself in the face right then and there.

He shook his head. "Writing ten inches on the differences between a sleeping draught and the Draught of Living Death isn't as easy as it sounds."

I laughed, "Wait, that _sounds_ easy to you?"

"I've had to do worse before," he said with a shrug, still smiling subtly.

"I ended up having to mention a muggle story and go into detail about that instead," I said, grimacing, but then remembered the five people who were supposed to be waiting for me at the door and very likely were not there anymore. I reminded myself that I would be walking to Transfiguration alone and tried to pull myself away. "Well, I've got to get to class. It's far away and I will have you know that I do not fare well on long walks. Absolutely no stamina."

"Maybe you should take long walks more often, then," he suggested, smile turning to a tease.

"That might be a good idea." I frowned.

He laughed, and nodded his head for me to go on. "See you later, Grace."

"Yeah," I said, and turned slightly to give him another smile because I felt guilty, "Bye, Kenneth." I gripped my essay in my hand and stuffed it safely into my bag as I left. My mind was hazy from that exchange and I almost ran into the rather oblivious Peter in the hallway.

"Finally," James said, looking like a man in the desert who'd just seen water after days on end without. "Gracie, you take _forever_!"

"Oh." I blinked at the sight of all of them. "Sorry. I didn't realize you were all still waiting."

"It's all right," Lily said, waving her hand dismissively, and then pulled on the other boys to get them to move. "But now we really do have to move, because you all are in Professor McGonagall's good graces, because _I_ worked so hard to get you there, and we will not be messing that up now! Let's go!"

"Lily, it's not because of _you_," James said in an unhappy huff, then quickly corrected himself when she glared, "I mean, it's not_ just_ because of you." He grinned, looking more confident, "It's our charm, you know. Marauder charm. She can't help but love us."

"What _are_ you talking about?"

"Oh, Lils, don't deny our radiating amounts of charm now, you're just hurting my ego—"

"_Right_, like you don't have some of that to spare anyway—"

I vaguely heard their bickering, because I was too distracted by the way Sirius was looking at me. It was an unfamiliar expression, and I raised my eyebrows to question him, but his gaze only lingered for a few more moments before he looked away without an answer.

* * *

The fact that I had been spending every ounce of free time studying was starting to get to me. I was very sick of how familiar the library was getting, and also the common room. I could go without that place, too. I suddenly missed the younger years when Sirius and James were still mischievous prats and they'd sometimes drag me along when they decided to stir up trouble. James and I had never been entirely close, but we used to get a really good laugh every once in a while.

But now James was _responsible,_ and Sirius had lost some of his edge; not entirely, of course, but it wasn't as fun causing trouble without James. Especially not when his fiery-headed girlfriend attacked us when we were out after curfew for a single minute.

I loved her, though, and I did have to admit that this whole studying ordeal really did pay off in the long run. My marks had been much better. I, frankly, was suffering, but my grades weren't, and that was the most important thing! (Choke.)

Regardless, though, I had hit a dead end with this essay, and I was going to have to interrupt someone for help. I glanced at Lily from across the common room, and decided against interrupting her. Interruptions were lethal, in her case. James was too far. Sirius had been acting odd all day, so no go there. Peter probably didn't know the answer, the poor bloke. Where was Remus? No, he was talking to Mary. I grit my teeth together, deciding just to ask Sirius, despite his moody little issues. He was _Sirius_, and Sirius and I could never really be mad at each other, so it surely couldn't hurt to bother him for a second.

"Hey, Sirius," I said, skipping over and plopping down beside him, "could you help me? Pretty please?"

He turned his face up to meet mine, expression a bit stony. "Sure," he said, and I figured perhaps I'd been seeing things because he seemed certainly okay with helping, didn't he? He was just Sirius, I reasoned. But perhaps that had never been good reasoning. "What do you need help with?"

"The Potions essay." I unfolded it in front of me, showing him the sloppy handwriting. "I've got five bloody inches left. How much do you have finished?"

"All ten." He handed me his scroll. "You can look at it if you want."

"Okay, but just as a reference," I said pointedly, smoothing it out and reading over his writing, which seemed to be considerably neater than mine. That wasn't right at all. My handwriting had _always_ been neater than Sirius's. I must have been more stressed out than I'd realized. I read the majority of his essay, wondering where in the world he'd gotten his brain, and put it down, brows furrowed. "I don't know if that helped. It just made me realize how pitiful my own is."

"Here." Sirius pushed his open textbook to me. "That page will help."

"Oh, thanks." I glanced up at him, smiling, but I frowned because he'd turned away. "Sirius, are you all right?"

"Yeah." He was staring at the fire.

"Sirius."

"I'm completely fine," he answered and, after a long, torturous moment, finally met my eyes. "Speaking of fine, how's Kenny?"

"Kenny?" I narrowed my eyes in confusion. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged, turning away again.

"Sirius, you've been acting odd all day."

He didn't answer, and my words fell into the bustling sound of the common room, which was fairly crowded as it was still well before curfew. It was almost like Sirius and I were alone because no one seemed to notice us at all.

I stared at him, trying desperately to understand, beyond frustrated that he was being so _moody_, but then my snail paced mind connected that look this afternoon and his attitude now with this afternoon in Potions when I'd stopped to talk to Kenneth.

"It's not because I was talking to Kenneth today, is it?"

"What? Why would it be because of that?"

I sighed. I did not appreciate his sarcasm. "Are you honestly jealous?"

He turned back to me, looking just as equally frustrated. "Look, it's not that—"

"Sirius, really. You shouldn't be jealous. There's no reason to be."

"Yeah, I know," he said, but he didn't seem any more reassured. He rubbed his temples. "You're right. Sorry. Didn't mean to come off as an arse."

I let out a little breath of relief and sunk back in my seat. "It's fine," I said quietly, content that we might have come across this.

He, however, was not done yet. "I mean, there's no reason to be mad over that, right? Because it's not like we're… you know. A couple or anything. So I guess you can really do whatever you like with Howell."

My heart went still for a moment. "What do you mean?" It was the second time I'd said it that night, but he wasn't making any sense.

"Well, you said it yourself, didn't you?" I waited for him to clarify just what I'd said myself, and so he went on, "You wanted something low-key. And that's what this is, not serious at all."

"_What?_ That's not what I meant." I was absolutely appalled and it took all the effort in my body to keep my voice level.

"But it makes sense," Sirius said, speaking with apparent difficulty, "because we're friends, Gracie, and this kind of thing only causes problems between people, you know? I don't want to risk our friendship. There are boundaries, and it just…wouldn't work…"

"So—so not telling anyone, and keeping it a secret," I hissed, lowering my voice to a near whisper, "that's how we protect our friendship. You can snog me whenever you very well please, because—_why?_ What's the _point_, Sirius? And what does that mean? You can see whoever else you like, too, because we're, what, not exclusive?"

"I don't know. I didn't know this was news to you," Sirius answered, a hard gleam in his eyes.

"I don't care about stupid _boundaries_, Sirius, I just cared—no, never mind. If you were really that worried about ruining our friendship, I think it's too late, because you've already done it."

"No, it's not—it doesn't have to be, Gracie, I mean, it's a two person decision, and I'd think of you still the same as always—I don't—no, fine—let's just forget this. All of it."

"What?" I was far beyond sorrow or hurt; I was downright infuriated. He was a git. He was a damn bleeding git and I'd never even had enough sense to realize it.

"Just forget it," Sirius repeated breathlessly, "we can just go back to the way we were before. Just friendly. None of…" He trailed off, staring out into space, and then refocused. "That."

"I cannot believe you," I said, so quietly I didn't even know if I'd said it at all. I shook my head, shifting away from him. "Fine." I looked at him and it was like I wasn't seeing him, just some plaster picture of him, something fake and unfeeling. "Fine, we're friends. We've always been friends. So it's fine." It was a patronizing agreement on my part, and it did little to appease him.

He looked strangely livid, but the common room was crowded and our heated exchange still had gone by undetected, and he couldn't risk attracting attention. We stared at each other, for the longest time, furious and sad mingling in each other's hair, but it was too much for Sirius. His anger got the best of him and he left without another word. I watched him brush by Remus and James.

"Mate, the Banshee myth, I made it up," he said to the latter, and left just as he'd left me, wordless and stony.

James stared blankly in front of him, processing, then snapped around wildly, "Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" He sprang up from his seat and bound after Sirius on the stairs. "Sirius! _What does that mean?_"

Sirius's textbook lay open on my lap, and the only comprehensible thought in my mind was that I _still_ hadn't gotten anywhere with my Potions essay.

* * *

_A/N: I didn't do it, and I don't know who did. Okay, actually, I do - it was Sirius. You can go after him. *hides* Well, I surprisingly have nothing to say, for once.. it's a miracle! Thanks everyone for the lovely reviews. You guys make my entire life. Well, I won't give you that much credit - the sake of your egos, you know - but all of you do make me very happy! I really appreciate the reviews and I would greatly appreciate it if you all left another review - short or long, I don't mind! - to let me know how I'm doing. Thanks again! You're all fantastic! xx _


	24. No One Ever Dies at the Library

_Chapter Twenty-Four_

**No One Ever Dies at the Library**

The next morning it almost felt like nothing had happened at all. Everything slid by as usual until breakfast, when I walked in and Sirius was already sitting at the Gryffindor table with Remus. They glanced up simultaneously, but I looked at Sirius first without even thinking anything of it, and we just shared an empty stare. I nearly opened my mouth to say something, but I found no words. The night before suddenly came crashing back in terribly violent waves.

"G'morning," Remus said, and I snapped myself from Sirius as quickly as I could, smiling instead at Remus. It hurt, I thought, to smile. To smile like this, when I really just wanted to grab the goblet and crush it in my hands.

"Morning," I said anyways, attempting to look ahead without glancing Sirius's way. I didn't want to ignore him, but I couldn't very well just act chipper and content, could I?

James and Peter came shortly after I did, and I was relieved that I hadn't needed to say anything more. The four of them talked instead—laughing at something, but I hadn't heard what—and I just ate and stared down at the table. After a while, it was just too much, and I glanced about desperately for Lily or someone I knew. Lily was nowhere to be found. Probably in the library. I was going to have to scold her for that later; she'd been studying every other breath, and now she was starting to skip meals. It was ridiculous. I spotted Mary a few seats down, speaking idly with Georgia and Eunice, and I rose as quickly as I found a feasible escape.

"Hey," I greeted timidly, too drained to be spontaneous, "do you mind if I sit here?"

Mary raised her eyes, and upon seeing me, smiled and shook her head. I had to admit that she looked particularly surprised, but I didn't necessarily blame her. I probably hadn't eaten with her since first year. "No, go ahead."

"Thanks." I sat, and Georgia and Eunice looked me over, seeming to want to ask what was so direly wrong that I'd had to move. I didn't say anything, though, only regarded them slightly, and asked Mary instead about the Defense homework.

Lily ran into the Great Hall towards the end of breakfast, red-faced and panting. I saw her walk over to James, mouth something to the lot of them, then search the end of the table for me. When she met my gaze, she raised a curious brow and made her way over warily. She didn't ask—that would probably have come off as a bit rude, even though it's what everyone else was wondering, too—but just sat down instead, saying hello to Mary and the others.

"Hi, Lily," Mary said cheerfully, and I noticed her cheeks were pink. She was cute, like a little girl. I'd never really noticed. "Did you hear about Ben Swott and that Slytherin girl? I was just telling Gracie."

"No, which girl?"

Mary happened to be _quite_ the gossiper, but it didn't really bother me. The school wasn't far too interesting—the moving staircases and flying broomsticks and friendly ghosts got boring after awhile—and so it was only natural to be curious in who was dating who, I think. And a _Slytherin_ dating a Gryffindor! It was absolutely scandalous.

Well, kind of. Mary went off on her tangent beside me, filling Lily in on the entire story that she'd laid out for me, but oddly enough I'd forgotten the Slytherin girl's name. I wasn't too good at being a gossip. Unfortunately.

Mary was nice, though, and I figured if I wasn't going to talk to Sirius then I could definitely at least _attempt_ to keep up with Mary's gossip. We were very different, but it didn't really matter to either of us, because ever since that day in the corridor with Avery and Mulciber, we'd gotten along fabulously. She'd always update me about Avery and Mulciber, until they were finally expelled, and we hadn't mentioned them since. It was hard _not_ to get along with Mary anyways, though. She was far too sweet.

After the morning passed, we left the Great Hall for Herbology and Lily pulled me aside, staring me down with her big green eyes. "Is everything all right?"

"Yeah," I answered, shrugging. "Just thought I'd sit with someone else for a change."

She looked me over, not entirely convinced, but let it go anyway. "Okay. You're an odd one, Gracie."

I didn't talk to Sirius at all throughout the day. Not once. Not a whisper, not a syllable, nothing. We'd caught each other's eye various times, but it was like looking at a stranger. Accidental eye contact, dismissed immediately, no expression whatsoever.

When the sun finally went down and it was time for bed, I curled up in my sheets and pulled my legs to my chest, feeling hollow. There was a distinct ache there, and the more I thought about it, the worse I felt. It took a while for me to finally drift off, but when I did, I slept a dark and dreamless sleep.

* * *

The library was eerily quiet, despite the number of bodies that occupied the crooks and crannies of the place. That was the way it had been for weeks. Mostly fifth and seventh years, it seemed, heads bent over textbooks and piles of parchment as far as the eye could see. It was already late into March, precisely a week before Easter, though the holiday meant practically nothing for anyone anymore. The week off translated into "uninterrupted studying time" for most of the school. It was outrageously depressing.

Lily had just finished testing me on all the various uses of Dittany, in a whisper. It hadn't been the easiest studying I'd ever done, surprisingly.

"Lily," I said, lowly, "don't you think we ought to take Easter off? Live a little, get out into the air, you know?"

She looked at me as if she did not understand my language, and hissed, "_What?_ Gracie, we've got NEWTs in _June_."

"Which is practically three months away," I groaned. "Just for a day? It can't hurt. We've been studying since January. You're not going to fail your NEWTs because of a day or two."

She frowned, eyes glossing over her textbook. "Well, I do practically have this library memorized." Then seemingly uncharacteristic of herself, Lily grinned slightly. "What will we do, though? Do you mean like going to Hogsmeade, or?"

"I was thinking we'd get out." I shrugged, still making an effort to keep my voice quiet and practically non-existent, "I just thought about it now. Maybe we could go window shopping in a muggle village or something. Muggles are fascinating, after all."

Lily rolled her eyes. "As if I don't know." She tilted her head thoughtfully. "Just you and me, or did you want to invite the boys?"

"Oh, I guess, I mean—" I paused in distraction, meeting eyes with Kenneth from across the room. He smiled and waved, and I tried not to laugh as I returned it. I turned my attention back to Lily, finishing, "I mean, you can if you want."

She frowned again, a deep line between her brows. "Gracie…" She was staring hard at Kenneth, who'd turned away to his reading. She looked as if she was trying to connect some sort of dots. "Are you two dating again?"

I shook my head, tapping my fingers against my chin absentmindedly. "No, we never dated in the first place, anyway. Well, we did. Kind of. But it didn't last long."

"_Still_," Lily said, looking distressed. "You're always with him."

"I am not."

"Yes, you are. I see him everywhere these days. It's like he stalks us."

"He doesn't stalk us. He just walks me to class sometimes."

"More like _every_ time. Doesn't he have his own classes to go to?"

Well, I honestly couldn't deny it; I'd wondered the same thing at first. "Why does it matter? It's just Kenneth."

"I know. I don't have anything against him, it's just that you're acting so odd lately. I mean, when's the last time you talked to Sirius?"

I scoffed. "An hour ago."

"That doesn't count. You two were spitting fire at each other. I mean _actually _speaking like civilized human beings to one another."

"It wasn't my fault," I said. "He's the one that was complaining about the common room being too cold. I just suggested to him that he move if he was so unhappy where he was."

"I _know_, I was there," Lily sighed, giving me a hard look. "But it didn't really sound like a _suggestion_. It was more like you just telling him to get the hell out."

No use denying that, either. Ever since our _incident_—everything that ever happened was always coined as an _incident_, wasn't it?—Sirius and I had resorted to nasty forms of communication, cutting each other off or snapping at inappropriate times. He was a lousy bugger, though. Not my fault. It wasn't like we were ignoring each other anymore, like we had the first couple of days.

"Something happened, didn't it, Gracie? Between you and Sirius."

I let out a small breath, pushing my book around idly.

"That's why you're always with Mary or Kenneth now, isn't it? I mean, sometimes you talk to Remus. Sometimes James or Peter. But never Sirius, unless to yell at him."

"I talk to Remus more than I do Mary or Kenneth," I retorted helplessly.

"Not the point. Honestly, even Sirius doesn't talk to anyone that much. He's always around Georgia or Courtney Preece. Or, any girl, I suppose. I don't really pay attention to him."

I did, though.

"What _happened_, Gracie?"

I straightened myself, redirecting my gaze to the floor, wishing for it to burn, and whispered, more quietly than I'd say anything the entire evening, "I kissed him."

"Oh." She hesitated and suddenly looked tragically sad, assuming the worst.

"No," I sighed. "He kissed me back. And we were—together, in a way, and it was, I don't know, we were—well, it doesn't matter, I guess, because then he said he wasn't taking any of it seriously, because apparently that's what he thought we'd established in the first place. By not telling anyone."

She stared incredulously. "You two were _dating_?"

"No, not really," I murmured.

"And you didn't _tell_ me?"

"Lily." I laughed in spite of the situation, falling back a bit. "I'm sorry. It's not like it matters. Nothing good came out of it."

"But I don't get it. I don't get…it…at all. Start over."

I rolled my eyes half-heartedly. "We said at first that we wanted things to be low-key. I mean, it was sudden, you know? We had no idea what was even going on, really. I didn't want to be all over each other all the time. Not like you and James."

She gasped, and started to protest, but I cut her off.

"I'm just kidding. About the last part, anyway. So, I guess he just interpreted that as 'we can do whatever we like because we're not in a serious relationship,' and then defended it by saying he didn't want to risk our friendship."

Lily blinked slowly. "Well, Sirius is daft, you know that. What did you tell him?"

"I said I wasn't fooling around. I honestly wasn't." I bit my lip hard. "And I guess it's just a bunch of tosh to say that I really cared about him and was hurt when he didn't feel as genuinely in return, but that's the only way I can think to say it…"

"Oh, Gracie." She sighed sympathetically. "He ruined your friendship by trying not to ruin it, didn't he?" I assumed she didn't exactly desire an answer and she hugged me anyways. "He's a prat, but he's Sirius, Gracie, and you've never been able to hold a grudge against him for long. I know, I know, this is different. But you'll see. Okay?"

I groaned, but she glared at me for an answer until I finally had to comply. "Okay."

It was pretty lousy advice, but I trusted her, for some reason or another.

* * *

The morning before Easter break began with an obnoxious screech that landed right on my plate, in the middle of my eggs and rashers. Right before me a mousy-brown owl had perched itself, flailing its wings frantically and creating the biggest commotion since Peter confronted with a boggart. By the way he reacted, the owl very well _could_ have been his boggart.

"AHHH!" Peter shrieked, sending his own plate of eggs soaring across the table. "I hate owls! Stupid bloody dimwitted owls! I hate them! Stupid owls! Stupid—"

"The rat in you is more apparent every day, mate," James said, clapping the panicking boy on the shoulder.

Meanwhile, the owl had begun to calm itself down, and stuck its leg out for me to grab it. I wrenched the letter from around his ankle and inspected it slowly. I sighed and gave the owl a stern look. "I am not _Lily_. She's Lily." I pointed towards the red-head and passed the envelope to her. "Go on, get out," I said, waving the owl away. "I don't have any treats. Maybe if you learn some manners and don't land in my food next time. Go on now."

The owl tilted its head curiously. The creature was very much testing my patience. I pat it on its behind to get it moving, which unfortunately only startled it and sent it off with a screech, whisking in front of Peter's screaming face before it finally flew away and out of the Great Hall.

"Petunia's _engaged_," Lily said, having ripped open the letter and read over its contents. She looked as if she could not manage an appropriate response. "I've never even met this… this Vernon person!"

"Petunia?" I ravaged a piece of toast from the wreckage. "She's only a year older than you, isn't she?" I'd met her once, on the single occasion that I'd visited the Evans house; she'd been rather stiffly curt, as if she was only being polite on account of a knife being held to her throat. Needless to say, I wasn't overly fond of her.

"Mmh." She peered over the letter again, brows knit together in concentration as she read over the rest. "They haven't set a date."

"Well, send my regards," I said absently. Petunia likely didn't even remember me, let alone want my regards.

"All right, oh—she asked if I would come see her for Easter. Oh. Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" I frowned. "But tomorrow we were supposed to all get out for our day-trip."

"She said, 'This week is the only week Vernon's got off for a while and so we thought we'd invite you and James for tea, or dinner, or whatever really, I suppose. Mum and Dad would love to see you as well, but I'm sure you already knew that. They asked if you'd visit the house afterwards. You do have the week off, don't you?'" Lily looked inconceivably ill at ease. "I'll have to take the entire week off."

"You told your family about me?" James asked, looking particularly impressed.

It seemed as if everyone was at different ends. I wanted to press that tomorrow was the day we were supposed to go to Dufftown, but James and Lily were off in their own world.

"Of course I did," Lily said, only somewhat miffed, "I mean, I met _your_ parents, didn't I? I might as well have told my own."

James smiled at her in a way that looked to singularly belong to the two of them. "I'm flattered, Lils."

"You shouldn't be."

James was about to make another remark, but Lily cut him off and turned to me instead.

"I guess that means that I'll have to back out of our plans, Gracie. Sorry," said Lily. She didn't look as if she necessarily wanted to meet Petunia and Vernon, but if I knew Lily, she would come to terms with it soon and would be nothing but excited tomorrow morning.

I shrugged. "It's fine." Except that I was then stuck with Remus, Peter, and _Sirius_, and that did not seem like a very appealing idea at all.

* * *

In all technicality, I _could_ have very well backed out of the plan and used an excuse to stay at the castle and study for the remainder of the week. Kenneth would be staying, surely, and so I wouldn't be too alone. Perhaps Mary would be there as well. I had plenty of company, if I'd really wanted it.

But for some reason, I hadn't. Regardless of anything that had happened between Sirius and I, Peter and Remus were still my friends, and to be quite frank, I liked them a bit better than I did anyone else. I couldn't imagine leaving them entirely because of a row with Sirius.

And honestly, _very_ honestly, a part of me wanted to reconcile things with Sirius. I didn't know why I hadn't already. Of course I was still upset with him. It bothered me to no end to see him walking with Georgia or Eunice or Marie Claire or whoever it might have been, but I really just wanted Sirius back. It was that bit of me that was still upset, though, that kept me from saying anything.

So I kept my tongue, as did he, and with something of a miracle, the trip went better than I could have ever feasibly hoped for. Granted, it would have been much better if Sirius and I had been on speaking terms, but considering the fact that we were _not_ and doing so might have instigated another nasty row, things had gone marvelously.

The whole day had been spent running through shops throughout the village and trying on ridiculous clothing and absolutely revolting sweets. There had been times when we couldn't stop laughing and actually had to physically stop walking and fully right ourselves to continue on. Even Peter was in stitches by the end of the day.

Peter and I were in one of the miscellaneous shops, with aisles of odd knick-knacks and peculiar items for sale. "Peter, I think that hat really brings out your eyes," I said, rubbing my chin as I observed the fox tail cap on his head. "Really superb what that can do for you."

He stared at me, not amused.

"What? I'm not kidding! You look absolutely dashing."

Peter grumbled something and pulled the cap off his head, and moved to set it back on the rack, but before he could return it to its spot, a great collateral rush of noise erupted from somewhere far off and the hat fell from Peter's hands and onto the floor.

I spun around on the spot. "What was—"

But the rest of my sentence was drowned in another explosion of noise, closer this time, petrified, ear-piercing screams ringing out through the air like sirens. There were suddenly people running madly through the shop door, panicked and frenzied, yelling at one another over the screams. Peter and I stared wide-eyed at each other.

"No! We've got to get to the car! They'll target this one next!"

"Where's my son? _Has anyone seen my son?_"

"We've _got_ to get out!"

"He's got blonde hair—a green shirt—_oh, God_, has anyone seen my son?"

"Why here? Why us? _What's going on?_"

"_They're terrorists!_ Declaring war! _This is the beginning of a war!_"

"They'll kill everyone here!"

"We've got to leave! _Now!_ We can't stay here!"

"But we can't go outside—they're outside—they'll see us, they'll—"

It was hard to know what was happening or even what to do. I felt suspended in time, numb and unfeeling, and everything was a loud, incomprehensible roar in my ears. It took another explosion to knock me back to my senses, but unfortunately I'd re-gathered my sense only moments too late; the wall broke apart like a firework, showering the shop with debris and rubble, which sent Peter and I and various others leaping out of the way and to the ground. The impact of hitting the floor winded me, and the smoke was toxic in my lungs. I choked and coughed and gasped, and vaguely I thought of how that lovely explosion had done absolutely nothing to ease the screams around us.

"Peter! Peter—are you all right?"

He looked disoriented, and his head was bleeding where he'd hit it on a shelf, but he nodded his head vigorously and tried to right himself. "Yeah, you?"

"I'm fine," I answered, but panic was starting to kick in, and it was getting hard to keep calm. "Where are Remus and Sirius?"

"They were…" He trailed off, thinking fast, "They went to the shop next door, didn't they?"

"Yeah, yeah, they did," I recalled quickly, pulling myself to my feet and trying my hardest not to give in to the dizzy spell that suddenly found me. "Come on, we've got to go find them," I urged, helping Peter up.

"But, Gracie, outside—"

"Peter, come on!"

"All right, yeah…"

I pulled him after me, my legs moving desperately of their own accord. Peter wobbled beside me, and I worried slightly about his head, but I couldn't leave him in that shop and I couldn't very well leave him out here in the open. I could only hope and pray that he was all right for now until we found Remus and Sirius and could apparate out of here.

It was hard to see through the crowd of running people, and even harder to manage not being trampled beneath them, but after an eternity of dodging and shoving through the mass of bodies, we collided into them.

I'd nearly knocked the two of them over in the process, and gasped when I'd realized who it was. "Sorry! Are you—"

"We're fine, but the terrorists, they're—"

"They're not terrorists," Sirius finished for him, "I saw one of their faces—in the explosion, his mask came off—Rodolphus Lestrange, he's married to my _cousin_. He's a Death Eater. They're all Death Eaters."

Peter emitted a noise like a nervous squeal.

I was wide-eyed with horror. "What do we do? We've got to get out of here, don't we? I mean, you can't—"

"They're Death Eaters," Remus said fiercely, "attacking a bunch of Muggles—if we leave, they'll kill the entire village, not to mention how many they've already killed!"

He had a point. We could hold some of them off, perhaps, but it would be incredibly dangerous and if something went wrong… No, if something went _worse_…

"All right, but we have to stick together!" I yelled, nerves pumping out of control. "We can't lose anyone!"

"If we can _stay_ together," Remus said. "Try and stay close!"

"Which way were they?"

Sirius pointed, "That way! We've got to hurry—"

"Can we use our wands? With the muggles…"

"I don't know. The Ministry will have to handle that later. We're talking lives here now!"

All four of us trudged through the chaos again and then I finally spotted them: men, with dark, brooding cloaks and pointed hoods, masks with slits for eyes… This was crazy. A stupid kind of crazy. We were just teenagers! How the hell were we supposed to fight full-grown adults?

Suddenly Remus and Sirius were beside me, shouting out curses into the light of the day, disarming Death Eaters left and right, jets of color rebounding and striking back and forth. I recovered quickly, deciding if they were going down, then I'd at least go down with them. I pulled my own wand and aiming it sharply, cutting through the air with all the spells I could remember in the heat of the moment. Peter came up beside me, and then we were four, standing against a much greater and much more powerful number…

"What's _this_?" one of them called, a voice thick with venom and rage. "Wizards in a village full of muggles, come to save the day? Oh, and a witch! Adorable!"

The figure aimed a curse at me, and I'd only hardly deflected it, which sent the wizard into a fit of laughter.

"Fiesty, too!" The Dark cloaks were slowly approaching, their spells far overpowering our own. There were so many of them… Black, everywhere… "Students, are you? Not yet graduated? What would your mummy and daddies do if their kiddies didn't even get to _graduate_, because you were all a bunch of dumb and over-confident children?"

"You think that you can stand in the way of us!" another called, a shriek into the oblivion.

There was nothing for us to say, just spells to be screamed across the empty space.

"Should have run while you had the chance—you'll see, and you'll never want to stick your filthy noses in our business again—_Crucio!_"

Remus fell at my side, writhing and crying out in pain. "Remus!" I was choking on a sob, and I sent a curse flying at the Death Eater in retaliation, but another blocked it, still laughing manically, and joined in on the terror.

"_Crucio!_"

There was a pain like wildfire that ran through my veins, and suddenly the whole world was this pain, this excruciating stab at every inch of my skin, the heat that lapped up every part of me and consumed every thought I'd ever had. I didn't even know if I was screaming; there was just pain that made my head want to burst, and flashes of light and screams and pain, and more pain…

"_Crucio!_"

"_Crucio!_"

I vaguely came to and felt twitching, jerking bodies on both sides of me, and I knew the other curses had been aimed at Sirius and Peter, and we had all fallen on the ground, defeated and vulnerable. The pain still lingered throughout my body, and I couldn't find the movement in either my arms or legs, and I knew, knew better than anything I'd ever known in my life, that this is where we would surely die…

But the curses that rang through the air were no longer directed at us, and I summoned all the strength I had left to pick myself up. I gasped for breath and clawed the pavement, but I was fine, and I could move, and the others were slowly recuperating as well. My mind was hitting giant lapses, though, and I couldn't understand what was going on at all...

Aurors. From the Ministry. That's who they were dueling now. I took in shaky breaths and helped the others to their feet, not even bothering to ask if they were all right, because I didn't even know if I myself was all right, so how could they?

"_Sirius!_ What are you doing?" It was Remus that screamed this, at the back of the boy who had dashed off madly towards the Death Eaters, flinging bright spells relentlessly.

I looked frantically between Remus and Sirius, trying to figure out what to do, and then I was running after him because if I _had_ any sense to begin with, it was surely gone now. "_Sirius!_ You twat, get back!"

He was dueling one of the cloaked men, vigorously shooting spells and deflecting as fast as he could. Remus and Peter were lost to the both of us now, and when I saw another Death Eater approaching, I couldn't think of anything to do but shout a spell his way as loudly as I could.

Sirius and I were soon dueling side-by-side, immersed in a battle we should, quite honestly, have lost. However, he and I were handling ourselves surprisingly well, and every expulsion of our lungs was followed by a defensive slash of our wands. I managed to stun the Death Eater before me right as someone I assumed to be an Auror dashed over to us and blew Sirius's opponent far out of the way.

"What are you two doing? Where are you supposed to be?" he shouted, with an arm with enough force to restrain the rising army.

"We're Hogwarts students—we were here for Easter break—"

"Get out! Apparate to Hogsmeade. You've both been brave—thank you so much for everything—but you need to go, now! We've got it under control here!" The man was ruddy, a face flushed from the strenuous battle, and waved us off insistently.

Sirius and I turned to look at each other. His face was streaked with dirt and debris, hair in disarray all around his head, but there was no real physical damage, it seemed, aside from strained breathing and wild eyes. But the longer I looked, the more normal he appeared, and I wasn't worried about him at all.

"Gracie, we should go…"

I brought myself back to my senses, and swiveled about madly, searching the crowd. "Where are Remus and Peter?"

"I don't know, but you heard the Auror, we've got to get out—"

"We can't leave them!"

"They've probably already apparated out, Gracie, we need—"

His eyes travelled somewhere behind me, then grew wide, and he yanked me towards him at full force before I could utter any kind of protest. I briefly felt the world turn to fire, like white-hot knives against every inch of my skin, and then it was gone.

My feet landed on the ground and I was gasping for breath. "What was that?"

"One of the Death Eaters cast an obstructing curse. I saw them do it a few times today, so I recognized the color of the spell." He rubbed his forehead. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I said slowly. I was just focusing on the softness of his eyes, softer than they'd been for a month. If I _wasn't_ okay, I hadn't notice. "You?"

He nodded. "I'm good."

A loud _pop_ resonated from behind Sirius, and two figures appeared.

"Peter! Remus!"

Peter staggered over, with little aid from Remus. "Hey," Peter whimpered.

"Oh, God, you—I can't—ah!" I pulled them all into a hug, trying my hardest to stop the prickling of my eyes by squeezing them shut.

"Shh, Gracie, it's fine," Remus said, almost a coo, and I let my arms fall slack as he wrapped his own around me and stroked my hair. He was laughing, but I didn't care, because we were all alright, and that was all I could even think to care about.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Peter shrieked, and I heard Sirius shuffle over to help Peter stand.

Remus let me go, glancing at Peter, who he had absentmindedly let go, "Oh, sorry, mate."

I laughed, shaking only slightly. I said, "Here, I'll help," and joined Peter on his other side to wrap an arm around him.

That was definitely the last time I'd ever make the plans again. Maybe a week of uninterrupted studying would have been more ideal. Death Eaters never blew up _libraries_, after all, did they?

* * *

_A/N: This chapter was important for various reasons, even if it seems like kind of a filler, but it was necessary, promise! ;) Kind of a longer delay in updates than usual, sorry for that. Been busy.. I've got school again on the 2nd. My school starts SO early. So after Thursday, updates will be much less frequent.. blah... _

_Also, I saw Batman the other day, and I FREAKED OUT when I realized that Gary Oldman plays Comissioner Gordon.. because.. you know.. SIRIUS! GARY OLDMAN! OMGGG I spazzed in the theater, hah... yeah, I just had to share my excitement. Anyways, thanks for reading, leave a review? You guys are the best! _


	25. Take Me Back

_Chapter Twenty-Five_

**Take Me Back**

There was a startled cry on the other end of the classroom, and a sharp, "Evans?" followed shortly after. Lily stood, sighing wearily, and made her way to the frantic Hufflepuff's desk to help him prune his Flutterby bush. She had recently become renown for her exceptional talent on just about anything that could be written about, which had meant she had also become a target of questions and pleads for assistance during class. It'd started not long ago, amidst the NEWT craze.

As soon as Lily was good enough of a distance away, James immediately piped up with curious enthusiasm. "So, I heard you lot had a run-in with Death Eaters last week."

Peter paled instantly. His head had healed up fantastically from the week before, much to my relief. I'd nearly fainted at the sight of him when we'd reached Madam Pomfrey that day.

Remus raised a suspicious brow at James. "Where did you hear that from?"

"Gracie."

All of the boys, aside from the oblivious James, turned and stared at me incredulously.

"I didn't!" I shrieked defensively. "I was just – well, all right, I was telling Lily – but he was eavesdropping!" I pointed at James in accusation.

He chuckled slightly at my sudden inflation. "She didn't tell me the rest of the story, though, because Lily wouldn't let her. _So_. What happened?"

"Dumbledore told us not to talk about it," Peter whimpered, rubbing his forehead where'd he practically split it open the week prior.

"He's just afraid of it catching wind and unnecessarily worrying people is all," said Remus.

"Well, who do I have to tell?" James asked. "No one except Lily, and she already knows. If she's reliable, then aren't I?"

I coughed loudly in disagreement, to which I received a sharp look from James.

"All right, I don't suppose it really matters..." Remus trailed off, glancing to Sirius for confirmation. He shrugged, so Remus continued. "There was a group of Death Eaters in Dufftown. They won't have published it in the Prophet, likely, because everyone's trying to limit panic these days... The Death Eaters, though, they were attacking muggles. So we held them off for a bit, and when the Aurors came, we disapparated."

"You fought the Death Eaters? You _fought_ them?" James hissed, trying to keep his voice level and inconspicuous, though I could attest that it was not working very well. "Well, how did you do?"

Sirius scoffed. "We all got the Cruciatus curse."

James's eyes went wide. "Blimey."

"And Peter here nearly got a concussion," Remus said, nudging the poor guy on the shoulder. "Then Sirius, the prat, ran off, and Gracie chased after him, and apparently they managed to get some sort of success on the Death Eaters there."

"Good job, mate!" James roared, clapping Sirius on the back.

"Hey!" I cried. "I stunned a bloke, too! Let's not forget that!"

"Oh," James said, turning to look me over, then shrugged his shoulders slowly. "I _suppose_ that's impressive."

I gasped. "James Potter!" He cracked a mischievous grin at my reaction, but I wasn't finished. "You're an awful, mean person, and I'm going to tell Lily that you transfigure into a stag just to watch her sleep–"

"What? No! Gracie! You wouldn't!"

"Try me."

"I was kidding! You're brilliant, bloody brilliant. Those Death Eaters never stood a chance against you. Absolutely not."

I huffed and straightened my posture. "You've never been more correct in your life, James."

He snapped a twig off his Flutterby bush irritably and muttered under his breath, "Blackmailer."

I only winked at him and returned to my own work. I highly doubted James had ever even considered using his animagus form to sneak into the girls' dormitories – I mean, who would have ever thought of doing that, other than Sirius?

My stomach suddenly twisted at the memory of that day, when I'd found him in the girls' lavatory. I focused on the trembling Flutterby bush before me, but I couldn't really push the thoughts from my mind. It had proved to be impossible, and I should have known better by now than to try to push it away. That generally only resulted in a head-ache, after all. But I kept seeing Sirius dash off into the crowd in my mind, and every time the outcome was different. Sometimes I followed after him, sometimes I lost him; sometimes he won, and sometimes he... didn't. I could still hear the villagers' screams in my ears, could still feel the Cruciatus curse under my skin...

It was something that never really wore off. It was in my bones, like an illness. I guess that's just what terror does to you. Stays.

Meanwhile, James had skipped on from the Death Eater talk and was now divulging about his own holiday. "Well, it wasn't any good. That Vernon bloke was an arse. He kept going on about his car, his bloody beautiful _car_, like he was trying to impress me or something. But what do I care about a car? I can apparate or Floo whenever I please, and honestly, I don't even have to work when I graduate if I don't want to. Much less work at a drill company. I told him that, too. Well, he didn't take it very well."

"Really?" asked Sirius. "Sounds like you couldn't have been any more charming."

"There was a slight argument in the restaurant. Lily's sister took her fiancé and stormed out. Her sister's just absolutely lovely, did I tell you?" There was so much bitter sarcasm in James's voice that you could have filled a jar with it. Then James's face twisted guiltily, and he glanced somewhere across the room. "Lily started crying when I took her home. I apologized a thousand times, but she said it wasn't really my fault."

Remus snorted. "Not_ really_ your fault, but still your fault."

"Yeah, well." He shrugged. "I dunno if there's anything for me to do, really. I've got Quidditch practice tonight, though. Reckon it'll help blow off some steam. Lily looks all right today, doesn't she?"

"Yeah, surprisingly brilliant after having her heart broken to pieces."

James slapped Sirius on the arm.

* * *

Months continued to pass. Slowly, but that was the way that time usually passed, when you wanted it to just hurry the hell up. With the passing of months came warmth, though, and a sweet spring, and the blossoming of a pleasant summer. It was the very end of May, and NEWTs were closer than they had ever been (of course). NEWTs seemed to have taken priority; first studying, then breathing, then eating, and sleeping, if it was _really_ necessary. And sooner than any of us could ever believe it, it was the last day of freedom. The very day before NEWTs.

Needless to say, it was destined to be terrible.

"You shouldn't have yelled at him, Gracie! I thought you two had sorted things out," said Lily crossly.

I exhaled loudly. "No. Evidently not."

"What were you two even going on about? How do you _always_ find something to argue about?"

"I just told him to stop thinking out loud because not everyone needs to know what's on his mind all the time," I answered stiffly. He had been contemplating who he was going to take to the leaving ball with James for the past couple of days, and made no effort to rein the conversations in so I couldn't hear. In fact, it was almost as if he got louder when I got close just so that I _could_ hear him.

"Weren't you two having that same discussion the day before?"

I sighed with distaste. "Probably." I couldn't exactly recall the details, but the day prior had gone about more the opposite, with him telling me I oughtn't speak where the entire school could hear me. I'd just scoffed and walked away that time.

Mary frowned, a deep, thoughtful line between her brows. "It seems like you've both got some major jealousy issues going on."

"_What?_" I choked. "I'm not jealous of him."

"Not necessarily jealous of _him_," she corrected. "Jealous of the girls he's talking about. And vice versa."

"I'm not," I stated with conviction. I lowered my eyes to my homework so I wouldn't have to meet her eyes, and perhaps that way the lie wouldn't be so clearly plastered on my face.

She shook her head, eyes resigned to her own work. "_Okay_, if you say so."

Suddenly, Lily slammed her book shut and stared at me in horror. "I forgot about the game! There's a Quidditch match—James is playing! I promised him I'd go! Oh, I can't miss it. Will you both please go with me? I'm so sorry!"

"It's all right," Mary said, closing her own book so fast it was as if she had been waiting for someone to say something earlier. "Transfiguration isn't proving to be too enthralling. I'd be happy to."

Lily looked at me for my answer, and I shrugged, beginning to collect my things as well. "Well, I'm certainly not staying here alone."

A small smile found its way onto her face. "Thanks. I'll try to make sure we sit far from Sirius."

I was going to tell her that it was fine and that she didn't have to, but the longer I thought about it, the more appealing the idea got.

The three of us rose from our cozy spot in the library and moved in unison for the door. Lily was enthusiastically telling Mary about the likelihood of Gryffindor winning the Quidditch Cup this year again—"It's only _Hufflepuff_, after all"—while I walked in silence. I was trying to internally memorize Transfiguration theorems and simultaneously clear my mind of Sirius, but neither notion seemed to work out very well.

"Oh, hello Kenneth," Mary greeted cheerfully. I brought my eyes up at once, finding the slim figure of mention. He grinned in that charming way he did as he jogged the length of the corridor to catch up with us.

"Hello, Mary, Lily," he said, nodding to them both. "Hi, Grace. I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment? It's a bit… ah… urgent."

I glanced momentarily at Lily and Mary for the okay. Lily looked wary, like she always did when Kenneth was around, but she didn't seem too upset about it. "I'll catch up with you both later," I told them.

"All right, see you later," Mary said, smiling wide again.

Lily just shot me a look that very distinctly said _watch it_, then followed it with a smile. "Bye!"

I had to restrain myself from rolling my eyes as they walked off and disappeared from sight. Lily had been overly suspicious of Kenneth since I'd started talking to him again; she didn't hate the bloke, of course, but she very obviously preferred Sirius and was not happy with me for…well…_that_ situation.

I turned my eyes up to Kenneth curiously. "What's going on?"

"Sorry to tear you away from your friends. You don't mind, do you? I just needed some… er… girl advice?"

I raised a brow, my curiosity continuing to grow, but shook my head in reassurance. "No, I don't mind. Happy to help!" I answered with more pep, finding a smile.

"All right, good. So I, um… well, I desperately need a birthday present for Ruth."

"A birthday present?" I laughed suddenly, without restraint. "This is your dire situation? Oh, Kenneth." I sighed. "Of course I'll help. Let's go to Hogsmeade, then."

It was a fair bit late to go to Hogsmeade, but it was Sunday and the sun was still up, so we had time. The street was fairly empty as a good majority of the students were at the Quidditch match.

We went into Zonko's upon Kenneth's insistence.

"Well, I don't suppose it's a bad idea." I stared up at the sign, then glanced at him. "I mean, it's low-key. Very friendly." I pondered on those words, then decided they sounded too familiar and kept talking to regather my nerve. "Well, how do you feel about her anyway? Do you fancy her?"

Kenneth rubbed the back of his neck. "Erm. Yes?"

"All right," I said with a convinced nod. "This is the place to go, then. Because you definitely don't want to come on too strong. Not at first. You haven't asked her out, right?"

He shook his head.

"Then you should look for things that say, _You're cute! I fancy you! But I'm not a creep!_" I explained, spreading out my hands like it was a slogan on display.

That got a sheepish laugh from Kenneth. "That's a lot for something to say, don't you think?"

"No, let's go," I answered, shoving him forward into the store.

We both entered the joke shop and ventured off in opposite directions, scanning the aisles for something that said, _You're cute! I fancy you! But I'm not a creep!_ Such a thing was a tough find in a joke shop, though, and after a lifetime of searching (more accurately five minutes), I stopped in front of singing cards and stared in decisive contemplation.

My gaze drifted to Kenneth, who'd wandered to the far end of the aisle. He peered in close at one of the items and then jerked his head back as quickly as possible, as if something had jumped out at him. He was laughing manically as he went on to look at the others. Without really thinking about it, I watched him and the way he moved, getting lost in the memories of spending Saturday afternoons with him on the grounds and nights kissing him in the cold. But he'd said he fancied Ruth. Despite Lily's worry—and my own, partially—he hadn't really fancied me at all. Well, wasn't that a blow to my self esteem? But then again, I should have known. He was always with Ruth. In Potions, in the Great Hall, probably even beyond that.

And, if I really _had_ to admit it, ever since we'd started talking again, I could tell things weren't the same, at least in that regard. He was a hell of a good looking bloke, but I didn't fancy him in the slightest; honestly, it was a bit relieving to know that we didn't have to go through that again.

"Grace? Find anything?"

Woops. I'd been staring. I blinked quickly and then spun to the stack of singing cards and grabbed the first one I could get my hands on. "Uh, yeah, how about this?"

He took it from me and opened it. It suddenly began to yodel at the top of its synthetic lungs: "_Have a holly, jolly Christmas! It's the best time of the ye_—" He slapped it closed. "Um, I think we're in the wrong season."

"Oh." Woops again. I turned back to the shelf and picked another one out. "Here."

"_Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, you smell like a hippogriff and you look like one, too!" _Kenneth closed the card and eyed me suspiciously.

I laughed, tossing it back onto the shelf. "Okay, I'm sure there's _something_ decent here. I've just got rotten luck."

"All _right_…"

About five minutes of searching and tossing later, he found one that _was_ tolerably decent, and took it to the till to pay. It'd sung something sweet, but I hadn't heard the entire song. I'd hoped he'd succeeded in the "_But I'm not a creep!_" part of the plan, but I was going to leave that up to his own judgment.

"D'you mind if we drop by Honeydukes for a moment? Ruth's got a soft spot for Canary Creams, so I thought I'd get her some," he said, shooting me a sly grin.

"Oh, sure."

"Great, you're the best," he said, looping an arm over my shoulders in a distinctly friendly manner. When we walked into the store, he dropped his arm and said, "Here, I'll get you something, too, while we're here. You ever try the Pumpkin Fizz?"

"No," I said, scrunching up my face. "What's that?"

"It's wicked good, honest." He scooped up a few Canary Creams in a bag and then wandered off to another end of the shop, grabbing two tins. He went to the till and paid speedily, striding back over and leading me out of the store. "Here."

I took the tin warily, but he gave me an assured nod and sat down on a bench. I joined him, opening it and letting the scent waft slowly up to my nose. "Smells like pumpkin," I announced.

"Well, that's a shocker." He rolled his eyes in good humor.

I brought it to my lips, taking a gracious gulp, and scrunched my face up again as the bubbles tickled my throat and burned my nose. "Oh, Merlin, what _is_ this?"

"Pumpkin Fizz," Kenneth claimed fondly, cracking his own tin open and drinking with a smile. "You don't like it?"

"I'll get used to it." I took another swallow to prove it to him, but that time was worse and I suddenly began choking desperately for air. I regained my composure within seconds, though, in the middle of his fit of mad laughter.

"Maybe not right away, then."

"Yeah. Probably not." I eyed the tin viciously.

Kenneth slouched casually on the bench, balancing his bag of gifts for Ruth one on thigh and his Pumpkin Fizz on another. His gaze drifted somewhere off in front of him, eyes idly following villagers and Hogwarts students scurry to and fro in the warm summer air. I found myself watching, too. Funny how busy the world was outside of ourselves and we never really took the time to notice.

"I forgot to thank you," Kenneth said, all of a sudden. "I would have been completely lost if it hadn't been for you. It would have been a disaster. So, thanks. Sorry you didn't get to see the Gryffindor match, though."

I shrugged. "Honestly? I don't like Quidditch that much." I laughed, then, relaxed. "You're welcome, anyway."

"Any way I can repay you? Lend an ear, maybe?"

"Oh, you don't need to. You got me this, after all." I waved the strange beverage at him.

"Well, that might have been different if you'd liked it." He frowned. "Come on, there must be some lucky bloke you've got a fancy for that you desperately need advice about."

I shook my head insistently.

"What about that Lupin? You're around him a lot, aren't you?"

"Oh, no. He's just my friend."

Kenneth cocked a brow. "Didn't you say that once about Black?"

I tensed instantly, looking to the ground for distraction. My face trickled with heat, but I couldn't do anything but try to ignore it. "That's…erm…different."

"Really? How so?"

"Ah," I said, meeting his eyes. "I…dunno."

"Well, what about him? I don't really see you with him as much anymore."

"Oh." My jaw tightened slightly. "We had a bit of a falling out."

"You did? Well, that sounds like something I could lend an ear for."

I sighed, tilting my head to check his sincerity, and then sighed again as I began to try to formulate a quick explanation in my head. "We fancied each other and everything, well, more or less, really, I suppose… but he decided that our friendship was more important than a relationship, and it screwed with things." I slouched my shoulders.

"Mmh." Kenneth regarded me intently, nodding his head. "Go on."

So I did, however much against my will it may have been. I explained the entire situation—and succeeded in leaving out the parts about how Kenneth's existence had increased complications—ranging from our initial disagreement to the proceeding pitiful arguments.

"I guess it's better this way," I said finally, gaze drifting to the darkening sky. "Did you realize how late it's getting? We should get inside soon."

"We have time. Don't change the subject, Grace." He smiled as if he saw through the cracks in my plan. "You haven't tried apologizing?"

"Well, that's not as easy as you make it sound," I said, breathing out heavily.

"It isn't?"

I didn't respond.

"Just try it. And don't put it off, either. Do it tonight."

"But he's not going to—"

"_No_, you just don't want to. Who cares what he does? You're already not speaking to him anyway. Isn't it worth a shot?"

I grimaced. "You're like a male Lily." As odd as that was to say. "Fine, I might. I'm not promising anything. Can we go inside now?"

"All right, stubborn."

We ended the night walking back into the castle and then finally parted at the stairs. We hugged before we both went our separate ways, and it was an odd feeling, like a final closure to whatever we had been before. My stomach felt slightly uneasy, though that could have been a combination of stress, lingering irritation with Sirius, and that lovely Pumpkin Fizz, but it could very well have been the fact that my hug with Kenneth lasted moments too long. It was necessary, though, because when would I ever talk to him again? I felt as if it should have been more important, more memorable, because we would graduate soon and what would happen after that? It was almost hard to look at him and really see him for what could be one of the last times.

I gave him a final smile as we parted. "Thanks for everything. Even that Fizz stuff."

"Thank _you_," he corrected lightly, a smile on his face, as always. Just another feature of his face, of course. Like it'd always been. "Bye, Grace."

"Bye, Kenneth."

* * *

The Gryffindor common room was alight with excitement. It was like a pulsing, radiating heat that encased each and every end of the room. The thrill was infectious, almost as if you could catch it just by being in a fair proximity.

"_WOOOH!_ GRYFFINDOR!"

The Qudditch Cup was thrust into the air, and bobbed up and down with the mad cries and victory cheers. I wondered absentmindedly if the team was really supposed to have the Cup out, or more specifically, have it soaring through the air; but, hey, it wasn't my problem, was it? James was somewhere amidst the mob, a target for the yells and claps on the back, as well as the rest of the team that had been lost in the vivacious crowd.

"It's not like it's a surprise, honestly… I mean, we were against Hufflepuff…"

"Did you see the Slytherins' faces at dinner?... Bloody priceless, I'll tell you that…"

"Ravenclaw actually thought they had a chance…"

"YEAH! GRYFFINDOR! WE WIN EVERY YEAR!"

"Gryffindor! Gryffindor! GRYFFINDOR!"

It was beginning to sound more and more like a cult in the common room. I sighed, pawing my way through the crowd delicately, scanning for Sirius. I didn't know what had compelled me to do it, or even why I had decided to do it _now_, but we were in the last weeks of school, and with the Quidditch Cup tonight and then NEWTs starting tomorrow morning, it had just seemed ridiculous not to smooth things over now.

Kenneth had been right, if anything. It wasn't as if I could possibly make things worse. I was going to drive myself mental if I just graduated and went off my own way without even trying. It would tarnish the memories I'd had throughout the entire year, and I couldn't have that. Honestly, my seventh year had been the best by far. Aside from this. I could have done without this.

I spotted him standing not too far away, and edged my way to him. "Sirius!"

He turned. I hadn't noticed who was around him. The atmosphere was too thick to breathe, and his face was the only thing I could focus on. He acknowledged me slightly with a simple nod of his head.

"Look, I just wanted to say—"

"No," Sirius said suddenly, shaking his head with insistence. "Just take a sodding drink or something. I'm not in the mood to be chided."

I frowned at the bottle he'd pushed into my hands and promptly pushed it back. "Sirius, you know I don't drink. I just want to talk to you."

He definitely wasn't drunk, though he did look particularly out of it. "No, no you don't. You never want to talk; you just like to correct me. I'm not hearing it. Might as well go talk to the wall."

My face burned furiously. "You _git_," I cried breathlessly. "I was _trying_ to apologize to you, but thank you for letting me know what a waste of time that would be."

I didn't wait for a proper response and instead left as swiftly as I could. It was a lot easier getting through than it was getting in, and when I'd reached the girls' dormitory, I collapsed on my bed without another thought.

It wasn't very long until my thoughts all swarmed around my head and attacked, burying me beneath a mound of anger and resentment. Sirius Black was the most tiresome, arrogant, pompous arse to ever walk the planet. He was intelligent, and so naturally that meant he was gifted and all-knowing and no one else stood a chance in the world against _him_. And he was witty, and so obviously that meant that he could get away with whatever he very well pleased. And he was good-looking, so he could criticize every other living being for their own flaws. He was stuck-up, selfish, overconfident, rude, cruel, and unrelenting, and I was completely done with him.

It should have been a relief, a final conclusion to a long seven years of friendship. No more wondering, no more trying, just the end and that was it. But it didn't settle me in the slightest, and suddenly my pillow was just a mass of feathers suspended in the air around me, and my inkwell was shattered glass and liquid on the floor, and my books were open and bent and sprawled out all over, and Leo was hiding in Lily's bed because I was evidently incredibly unstable, and _nothing, _absolutely nothing, was right at all.

I took silent note of the catastrophe around me and inhaled deeply. I wasn't crying, though perhaps that would have been slightly more ideal. I walked to Lily's bed and gingerly removed Leo from her covers, stroking him in between the ears gently and carrying him back to my own bed.

I let him scramble on top of my blankets and make himself comfortable, and only watched with a small, wry smile as he kept his eyes glued on me, perhaps in case I had another spontaneous fit of rage.

The dormitory was far from ravishing, unfortunately, and with slow steps I moved about with my wand and put things back into order. The feathers flew back into my pillow and the fabric mended itself before my eyes. The inkwell was whole once more, and the books closed and stacked themselves in a pile on my nightstand.

I released a content breath and returned to my bed. When I closed my eyes, I drifted off instantly, maybe the only thing that had gone right the entire day.

Well, never mind.

It'd felt as if I'd only closed my eyes when I was jerked awake again, a pair of familiar eyes before my face. "Gracie, Gracie, wake up."

"I'm awake," I groaned groggily, rubbing my face over and over. "What is it, Mary? What _time _is it?"

"It's, er… nearly midnight," she replied sheepishly, meaning I'd only been asleep for maybe two hours. "But it's important. I was coming back to bed and I nearly tripped over Sirius. He asked me to get you down."

"Wait, what?" I blinked rapidly. "That doesn't make sense, what are you saying?"

"He's apparently been waiting at the bottom of the stairs all night throwing things at our door, but everyone else is asleep and so no one heard him. And he saw me, and begged me, honest to Merlin, to get you to come down."

I rolled over, practically suffocating myself with my pillow. "Tell him to get back to bed."

"Oh, please, Gracie," Mary whined, nudging me in the shoulder. "I don't want to tell him. I promised that I'd get you. I'd feel bad otherwise."

"Well, shouldn't you feel bad for waking _me_ at twelve o'clock? We have NEWTs tomorrow, Mary!"

"You're already awake?" she supplied with a timid, yet hopeful, shrug.

I groaned again, loudly, so that she would know that any compliance was one hundred percent against my will, and climbed out of the safe haven that had been my bed. "Go to sleep, Mary, for Merlin's sake. You're a bloody night owl."

"I know," she said with a sigh. "I hope everything goes okay with you and Sirius."

"Mmh." I didn't even think of an appropriate response. "I'll be right back, and you better be asleep when I do or I'll stupefy you."

She giggled and skipped over to her four-poster bed, dramatically diving behind the covers just for my sake.

I rolled my eyes halfheartedly and opened and closed the door with a quiet click. My mind was just fuzz, and I didn't think twice about it when I got to the stairs and saw Sirius standing near the bottom, leaning against the wall and staring off into the distant fire. It lit just a portion of his face, the warm tones playing tricks on his skin. When I walked down, I hadn't even thought about how abnormal all of this should have been. It wasn't until I'd reached him and finally met his gaze that my chest tightened and everything came crashing back.

"Hey," he said weakly. "Mary got you?"

"Yeah," I said.

"Tell her thanks for me," he said absentmindedly, gaze drifting slightly and then re-directing. "Look, Gracie, I'm sorry. I don't have any clue what I'm doing. I don't even know how I have enough intelligence to hold a wand. I'm hopeless."

It felt natural to just say _it's fine_ to such an apology, but I couldn't. It was odd, anger to calm, but the whole thing was odd. The whole world was odd. If I ran away from things that were odd, I'd just end up killing myself from running. So I did what I knew I had to, despite any lingering anger or hard emotions. "I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you. You had a good point. And you didn't deserve all that lashing out... What you said, it does…make sense. We've always been such good friends, why throw that away?"

Sirius shook his head. "No, I'm sorry for that, too. It doesn't make sense. I don't care why it won't work, because frankly, I've already gotten the bad end of the deal, haven't I?" His gaze was ferocious, but not in a frightening way. More like a way that compelled me to keep looking because I couldn't bear to tear myself from him. "There could be a million reasons for something like this to not work, but I know there's at least one really, really good reason that it would, and that's all I care about."

I felt my eyes widen just barely and began stuttering for coherence. "What—what do you mean?"

He pressed his lips together tightly. "I don't want to say it. It's embarrassing."

I laughed, loudly, ridiculously, so odd and natural in the same conflicting moment. "What is it?"

He took a deep breath, rubbed the back of his neck, and shifted his standing position. "I'm going to say this, knowing perfectly well that things between us may not change. Maybe you don't even want them to, after all of this. I know that, and I'm saying this anyways."

"Okay," I murmured uncertainly.

I don't know if I'd expected what he was about to say. I don't know if I ever could have, really. Things of this nature, could they ever really be predicted?

And so he said it. He looked me in the eyes, light, glassy grey locking my gaze, and said it.

"Gracie, I love you."

I think that it would not be surprising to say that I didn't have an immediate appropriate response. I don't think I even had a proper coherent thought following this. I was struck, just absolutely struck, and before I could even begin to process all of the many internal things that were going on, he started talking again.

"You laugh at my jokes even when they're a thousand years old. You run everywhere and you're always panting because somehow you're so absurdly out of shape. You're stupid, and it makes me smile. You stuff your mouth when you eat, like an animal. You dance to class when you're happy. You're...you're so many things that I can't even think of."

"Sirius..."

"Wait, I've still got some left," Sirius said, smiling softly. "I don't mean it as a joke, or even to be friendly. I've known it forever, just not exactly what it was, really. I know it's just a couple of words, and maybe to you it doesn't mean anything. I might not love you just the way you want me to. I don't blame you, either, if that's how you feel. I mean, look at us. I've screwed things up more often than not, and it's my fault. But...I love you. And I want you to know that it's killing me to go on like this because I just feel _so_ damn feminine, Gracie, but I'm doing it because I love you. And yeah, maybe I don't know just how a person goes about something like this just yet, but I love you with everything that I have, and the best that I know how." He paused for a moment, then smiled sheepishly. "Okay, now I'm done."

I stared, silent and dumbfounded. The words were slowly sinking in, hitting me at different times and different lengths, and soon enough my eyes were filling with tears but I still had no idea what to say.

"Don't worry," he said lightly, laughing in spite of himself. "You don't have to say anything."

I hugged him instead, and I buried my head in his shoulder to stop the tears from betraying me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in tight to his chest, and we stayed like that for a while, with our breathing slowly falling in sync.

I wiped my eyes after some time and pulled myself away. "Wait, Sirius—okay, I'm not just going to—wait." I squinted my eyes shut, reoriented myself, and started over. "I'm sorry, too. I messed up. It wasn't just you. You're right, I wanted more from you than you could handle, and then when you didn't agree with me, I was just bitter. And then I just bottled it all up and whenever you did _anything_, it was like you were reminding me of it and you just aggravated all that pent up anger and I would blow up. And I'm sorry, because you didn't deserve that. Because all those things you said about me, you're the only one I can really be like that with. And you're special to me. But I'm not going to elaborate on that, just because there is something nice about a little mystery." I grinned mischievously.

He frowned. "That's not fair."

"Wait, I'm not done, shush. I don't want to lose you, okay? So, whatever that entails, let's just make sure that we're never far. Because I... well." I blinked. "Oh, Merlin, how did you say that so easily? That's hard."

Sirius laughed easily. "What? _I love you_? You can't say it?"

I pouted. It wasn't that I couldn't say it, and it wasn't that I didn't mean it, either. It was just that it was so incredibly sentimental that I was _afraid_ to.

"Okay, I'll help you." He grabbed my chin, and I scrunched my face in protest, but he did not relent. "Slowly, repeat after me. _I_."

I laughed loudly at the ridiculousness of it all, and he moved my chin for me. "I..."

"_Love_."

"Love..."

"_You._"

I hesitated, beaming, and said, "You."

"Now say it all together."

I tried to bite his hand, but he yanked it away, grinning as if he'd expected it. I just rolled my eyes and stood up straight, letting the words flow together in my head. Well, if he'd said it, I could, couldn't I?

This time, I expected it. And this time, so did he.

"I love you, Sirius."

He sighed, though still with a small smile. "I know. That's why all of this happened. Because we love each other but we're both far too stubborn."

"Let's start over."

"What? You mean say all that again?"

"_Sirius_," I exhaled. "No. I mean, let's just start all this over again, and go about it the way it _should_ have happened. All right?"

He nodded. "I can do that." He moved in slowly and pressed his lips to mine. I could tell he'd meant it to be a quick kiss, but there was _no_ way I would have _that_.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close in and kissing him with fervor. Sirius didn't seem to have a problem with this, either, and returned his arms to their familiar spot around my waist.

Turns out that I'd been wrong about that day. It had definitely not been destined to be terrible.

* * *

_A/N: So, school has started for me, and I will tell you that while it wasn't entirely horrible, it will definitely be one HECK of a year for me. Sigh. It was good though. Nice to see all of my friends... and all of those other people too. Eh. Anyway, sorry if this chapter is not too great? I feel like it's as haphazardly written as ever. Gr. Well, that's all. Leave a review and thanks for reading, lovelies! _


	26. Killjoys of All Sorts

_Chapter Twenty-Six_

**Killjoys of All Sorts**

The grounds were warm that morning. Warm, as in cheeks flushed and reflective sheens on the skin of our arms. Needless to say, the walk outside had not been relaxing in any sort, and with the looming thought of the Charms NEWT awaiting us later that afternoon, tensions were running pretty high.

So, naturally, Sirius and I were fighting.

"Why are you always running your mouth?" I demanded, cutting my stride short and glaring up at him. "Don't you know how to close that thing, or do I need to introduce your mouth to a Permanent Sticking Charm?"

The argument was ridiculous, but that was irrelevant.

His expression remained indifferent, as we'd been fighting for months and this fight had been ongoing for five minutes already; I supposed these types of situations no longer fazed him. "Why must you criticize _everything_ I do?"

He'd made a snarky comment about Ravenclaw, like always, just to antagonize me. He'd _wanted_ me to get angry, and as much as I'd wanted to keep my tongue, I had to retaliate, because—well, it was a long story of details that have not currently been disclosed.

As they say, he that has patience can have what he will...

"Well, it's hard not to when you're screaming everything in my ear!" I replied haughtily. More like with force. Again, irrelevant.

There was a general sigh that fell around us. As I said before, tensions were already high, and our routinely altercation was not aiding anyone's nerves in the slightest. James was the one to voice what seemed to be the group's thoughts. "Could you two stop going at it for _one morning_?"

"Please!" insisted Lily, desperately, catching on quickly. "We've got our Charms NEWT and I'm already stressed enough. I can't handle your bickering on top of this!"

I snapped on my heel to Sirius, attempting to hold myself with strict poise. "Did you hear that? Maybe you should take it to heart. Just because you have ambitions equivalent to that of failing doesn't mean everyone else has!"

"You don't quite seem to get it. Maybe it's not _me_ with the issue."

"How could it not be? How could you even know? You don't consider anyone but yourself!"

Remus growled loudly. "Gracie, Sirius, for the love of Merlin, calm down..."

"You know _what_, Gracie?" Sirius said louder, overpowering Remus's voice. Peter was saying something about going insane, but I'd only heard half of it. "I suggest you go get whatever's stuck up your arse checked out, because it's obviously creating huge problems for you—"

"You _git_!"

Vaguely, I heard James saying, "Look, we are all sick of the two of you acting like this, and if you don't cut it out, I'm pretty sure Lily knows a good hex or two—"

I was aware of very few things at that point. I only really knew that the others were trying to pull us into the castle, with little success, and the six of us were completely blocking the pathway. But I hardly had time to breathe, let alone think courteous thoughts.

So, I went on.

"You prat! Worthless, selfish, awful prat!"

"Witch!"

"Yeah, I _am _a witch, genius!" Sirius and I were staring each other hard in the face now, gazes and jaws tense. "Damn well good luck to _you_ on your NEWTs!"

Hello, ridiculous, haven't we met before?

It just so happened to be the breaking point, too.

"Will the two of you just _shut_..."

The rest of James's words were lost, however, because one moment Sirius and I were glaring bloody daggers at each other and the next we were laughing hysterically.

Everyone stopped abruptly.

"What?" came James's blank voice.

"What just happened?" asked Remus, evidently taken aback.

I turned to the four, smiling innocently. "What? I thought you wanted us to stop?"

"But you..."

"Come on, we should get inside. It's a bit warm out, isn't it?" Sirius said to me, pulling me to his side smoothly and wrapping an arm around my waist.

"You're right. I wonder what time it is? Maybe it's lunchtime already," I quipped hopefully.

Sirius's arm was the subtlest way he could think of to throw the announcement in their faces, and though they did not seem to immediately catch on, it did instantly spark suspicions.

We began to walk in the direction of the castle, and James, Remus, Lily and Peter trailed after us, hopelessly confused.

"Sirius, Gracie, _get back here!_ _WHAT IS GOING ON?_"

* * *

"So you lied."

In my defense, it'd all been Sirius's idea. I'd ask him the night before how we'd tell the others that we were, well, _together_, and at first he'd shrugged and just suggested we just get it over with, but then his face had twisted into a mischievous smirk and I knew that for the sake of graduation and the closure to our long winded time at Hogwarts, we really were in dire need of a good, final prank to blow some steam.

"We didn't _lie_," Sirius corrected gracefully. "We were just having a bit of fun is all."

Remus did not look amused. "So, you lied."

James, on the contrary, clapped Sirius rather openly on the back. "Good job, mate! I thought you were going to end up as an old wrinkly bachelor, the rate you were going at!"

"_Hey!_"

"Well, honest. You were talking about asking a trillion girls to the Leaving Ball for weeks but you never once did anything about it. I was beginning to wonder if it was all talk or if you just had terribly cold feet."

We'd managed to explain it to them later, and though somewhat miffed at first, they were laughing about it only minutes later, saying things like they couldn't _believe_ we'd come up with something so evil.

Lily was frowning deeply. "You never told _me_, Gracie."

"It only happened last night!"

James gasped. "So that's why Sirius wasn't in bed last night!"

I raised a brow at him. "I'm a little afraid of what you're attempting to imply."

"The two of you were out shaggi—"

"Woah, mate! Stop right there!" Sirius said loudly, cutting across James. Then, after a moment, he added in a lower, sly tone, "Gracie doesn't want everyone knowing about all that."

"Sirius! We were _not_!"

He, however, was laughing too loudly with James to hear.

"So you two _are_ together?" Lily asked cautiously. "Seriously?"

We'd been over it maybe a thousand times already, but it hadn't seemed to sink in for everyone yet. Hell, it hadn't for me, really, either. "I'm afraid so," I replied, shooting Sirius a mocking glare and stuck out my tongue.

"I can't believe you were only messing with us," said Peter, looking bewildered.

"Yeah," Remus agreed, "Lily looked ready for murder."

"I wasn't thinking far that much, but I _was _thinking I could use some practice with a Tickling Charm, and I wasn't afraid to try it on either of you!" she cried in one frantic breath, then slowly recollected her wits. "Oh, Merlin. I can't believe it, either."

"Evans, Black, Hachette—" Flitwick started crossly, then seemed to lose his patience and didn't seem to want to name every single one of us, "Oh, _all_ of you, you are not permitted to sit so closely together! Realign your desks properly, please!"

"Oh, all _right_," Lily breathed without patience, and the rest of us groaned as we picked up our desks and dragged them back to their original spots.

Professor Flitwick shot a pointed look, more-so in the general direction of James and Sirius because they were _notorious _for doing terrible things in Charms class, before launching into his monologue. "Today we will be beginning the very first of your NEWTs. I would like to say that I am honored to have taught all of you these past seven years and I have complete faith in each and every one of you. You have all displayed great amounts of talent in what is considered a much higher level course, and you will all do well, I have no doubt. I would like to remind you that assisting each other on this exam is in no way, shape or form, acceptable, and if you proceed to do so, you will receive severe consequences accordingly..."

And he went on for what might have been an eternity for all I knew.

* * *

The rest of the day slid by surprisingly... well. Granted, I'd sat through four hours of the written Charms exam and gallivanted my way for another three hours through the practical portion—honestly, they weren't called Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests for nothing—but it was still, in essence, a good day.

Things were normal, though nothing else around was. The fact that graduation was only two weeks away was alarming. I'd never be back here again, a place that had been as good as home for seven years...I promised myself ahead of time that I wasn't going to cry when we left. For some reason, though, it didn't feel to be too credible of a promise.

But things were going to be okay. Better than okay. Maybe we wouldn't be at school, but we'd all still be together. And Sirius and me...it just felt nice to be able to say that, Sirius and me, together. And I'd go visit my parents' new house in the States after graduation, and then I'd come back and be a part of the Order, and it would be scary and crazy and maybe even a little overwhelming, but it would all be okay.

I was happy, even, thinking of everything that was going to change in the next few months. So happy, actually, that I had difficulty keeping still.

"Gracie," Sirius said, a pile of parchment and library books in front of him, "what's the fifth theorem of inanimate transfiguration?"

"If the stars line up with the Jupiter, then a goblet will appear in place of the person, animal, or object you are focusing on," I replied airily, more concerned in the comic of Mary and Remus that I had enchanted to act out of the two falling into the Black Lake, and then afterwards, of course, falling in _looove_.

I didn't know if anything actually was going on between them, but I'd caught wind that he'd asked her to the Leaving Ball—I hadn't seen her or him, in fact, to confirm it, however—and it'd been on my mind ever since.

"Er, no," said Sirius, shooting me a peculiar look. Well, honestly, I hadn't been sure where my answer had come from, either. "It says that living beings that are transfigured into inanimate objects will retain their living qualities and functions until the transfiguration is reversed or eventually wears off."

I nodded my head generously, sketching out the final squares of my cartoon. "That's good."

"Good?"

"Well, at least it doesn't kill you. It's reassuring. You see, if I decided to transfigure you into a teacup right now, you wouldn't die, because you would, _as you said_, retain all of your living qualities and functions." I glanced up at him. "Yes?"

"I could have sworn you weren't even listening," he muttered, returning to his book.

The common room was swamped, even more so than usual. OWLs, NEWTs, and finals in general overlapped the last two weeks of school, and it was general chaos for everyone. I, however, chewed on a sugar quill and stroked Leo between the ears, who was curled up neatly on my lap. And so far, I hadn't studied a word.

"Would it be animal cruelty if I practiced transfiguration on Leo?" I asked suddenly.

Sirius looked concerned. "Very likely."

"Would it be rude if I practiced it on you, then?"

"Maybe not rude," he replied. "Maybe uncomfortable."

"For you or me?"

"Me, dolt."

"All right, then." I went back to the animated Mary and Remus.

"So, what are you actually studying there?" He pushed his book back and leaned forward to get a look.

"Erm, nothing of interest—hey!"

He'd snatched the parchment from me and held it up before his face, inspecting it. After a long moment, he burst out laughing. "Is this supposed to be _Remus_? He looks like a girl."

"He's a stick figure, how could he possibly look like a girl?" I said irritably, wrestling it back from him.

Sirius made an amused sound. "You really ought to study, Gracie. We've got Transfiguration tomorrow and Merlin knows that's never been your strong subject."

"Is that a challenge?"

"No. Don't even _think_ about making my hair worms or whatever it is you did last time."

I sighed. "That was weeks ago, and I was mad at you. _And_ you asked for it."

"I don't recall asking for that at all. That was horrifying."

It was, honestly. But it'd only lasted a matter of seconds before McGonagall had gone and reversed the spell and given me detention for the night. I'd had to scrub the trophy case, so it wasn't as if _he_ could really complain.

"Fine," I groaned. "Can I borrow a book?"

"You don't have your own?"

"I've read A Guide to Advanced Transfiguration backwards and forwards already. Lily practically reads it to me as a bedtime story."

"Well, I suppose. I've got to go get other ones, though, because these are awful. The back nearly fell off of this one." He gestured to one of the books in his stack. "You've got to promise to study, though, too. No more of your nutty doodles."

I smirked. "You're just afraid I'll draw you next."

"I am not," he said, but after a moment he looked at me and narrowed his eyes. "Don't."

"I won't. We should take a trip to the library!" I shot up from my seat abruptly and pulled him along after me. Leo shrieked as he landed swiftly on the ground, and I apologized quickly and planted a kiss on top of his little kitty head. I spun back to Sirius. "Come on, pleaseee! We've been sitting here for hours! Sitting stationary gives you a flat bum!"

"Who've you got to impress with a round bum?" Sirius asked suspiciously.

"Come on, you're slow!"

He mumbled something about 'ignoring his question,' but I dragged him along out of the common room and down the twists and turns of the corridors so I didn't have to give a proper response. We'd managed to get half of the length of the castle before Sirius started to lag again, and I stopped pulling him when he got to be equivalent to the weight of the castle.

I pouted at him.

"I think that you just walk too _fast_," Sirius grumbled. "Wait, stop, I need a breather."

"A _breather_? Honestly, how old are you, ninety?"

And then all of a sudden, Sirius had spun me around and caught me in his arms, meeting his mouth with mine. I let out a girly giggle without really meaning to, but found that didn't really matter because I was suddenly too preoccupied to think. It started slow, but fervor had a way of spreading like an infectious wildfire, and every inch of my skin and every thought in my head was soon ablaze.

Oh, God, did I love Sirius.

He arched his chin back momentarily, parting our lips in that tempting way he liked to tease me with. My fingers paused on his jaw, and I opened my eyes to see what it was that'd caused him to pause. But he was just smiling at me, like maybe he'd forgotten what I looked like, and kissed me again. I didn't hesitate. I don't think I could have if I tried. The caress of his lips against mine was maddening, but strangely gentle. He moaned ever so slightly, partly from craze and also partly from annoyance, because we were really _supposed _to be studying, as easy as it was to forget about...

And as much as I would have _loved_ to forget about Transfiguration for the entire day, or maybe my entire life (yes, that sounded lovely, didn't it?), I let the flames simmer and we slowly pulled apart.

My heart really wanted to remind me it was still there, I noticed. _Shut up, stupid heart. _I blinked. _Wait, don't. Bad idea._

"You're so easily distracted," Sirius teased, pecking me on the cheek and then grabbing my hand. "We _are_ going to study, whether you attack me like that again or not."

"Hey!" I gasped, jabbing him in the side. "You're the one that started that!"

"Did I?"

"_Yes_."

"I don't remember that."

"How about I make you remember?"

He paused shortly. "How will you do that?"

I scoffed, as if the answer was obvious. He didn't seem to catch on. "Well, what?" He raised an eyebrow. "Okay, it was just meant to sound threatening. Leave me alone."

"No, thank you."

So we continued our walk to the library, me groaning and complaining the entire way, while he hummed and sang (he'd stolen my hyperactivity, it seemed) and recited more Transfiguration theorems to me.

My head started to hurt as he explained animaguses to me idly—for _some_ reason, this was a particular interest of his—and I found myself wondering instead how the castle could be so bloody large.

I thought wizards rode, like, flying carpets and stuff? Merlin.

* * *

**A/N: Do you guys like shorter or longer chapters? I'm starting to think I cram too much into one chapter. (Not particularly this one - this one has like one small plot point in it. Blrrrrggh. That's why it's so short - well, short for me. o.O The next one will have more, anyway.) GAH I HATE SCHOOL! I have no time for anything! **

**Also, sorry for not replying to anyone's reviews last chapter - I usually like to PM thank yous, but I completely forgot and it was like, a week later when I remembered, and I thought that'd be weird... also, I don't like PMing you for every review, because frankly, I think that would annoy you. SO YES, I'm done, I need to stop using my author's notes as public rambling spots...**

**And ThisLooksLikeAJobForMe - I love you too! ;D I LOVE YOU ALL! Thanks for reading, lovelies. xx**

**(also: anon lily hate? woah man. she's a fictional character, chill your licorice sticks!) **


	27. The Other Side of the Lake

_Chapter Twenty-Seven_

**The Other Side of the Lake**

It was on the Wednesday morning of that first week of the end that Sirius met me at the bottom of the staircase. He kissed me slowly, and with my eyes closed the world felt still and silent, the kind of moment I could savor forever.

After a moment of time in which the length could be debated, Sirius broke away gently, smiling. "So, I was wondering, you don't have a date for the Ball, do you?"

I wanted to roll my eyes but smiled instead. "Of course not, you dolt."

"Wanna go with me, then?"

This time I really did roll my eyes, though it was in good humor. "You're not particularly a romantic one, are you?" But I laughed, pecked him on the lips again, and answered, "I'd love to."

Sirius was odd when he was trying to be romantic, I'd decided. And a touch of awkward. But that was probably what I loved about him so much.

* * *

The week trudged on treacherously. The Transfiguration NEWT had been harder than I'd anticipated and so after I'd left the exam, I'd vowed to study every other subject relentlessly, to avoid the catastrophe that had been. Needless to say, I was up to my elbows in Defense revising.

"You know, there's a practical portion, too," Lily reminded me.

Of course I remembered that, but I still had a lot of theory to cover. I ground my teeth together. I didn't have time at the moment to practice. My offensive spells _did_ need work, though...

"Ugh! I am _sick_ of this!" I threw the book to the floor and scattered the blank parchment all through the air. Anger burning hot, I aimed my wand and yelled, "_Reducto!_" The paper fizzled in a frenzy, igniting at once and then simmering and falling to ash on the floor.

"Yeah! Burn that parchment! Go, Gracie!" Sirius egged me on as I grabbed all the parchment I could get my hands on, then threw it in the air and murdered it like it was the spawn of the devil. It felt to the ground like rain, sprinkles of defeated dust lying on the carpet. I blasted my inkwell with the spell and the air erupted with black, contaminating everything in close proximity.

"_Reducto! Reducto! Reducto!_"

The common room floor was soon covered in ash and ink, and I stood, breathing hard and staring at the destruction.

Lily sunk back further into her armchair and didn't raise her head from her book once. "Well," she said, "_I'm_ not cleaning that up."

* * *

The end was near, though. Such was the way of life. All good things came to an end, but, thankfully, so did all bad things. Such as exams.

Thursday, the eighth of June, was a day that I'll never forget.

Sirius got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.

Just kidding. Honestly. (What? Mental and sleep deprivation makes you think stupid things are humorous. Not my fault.)

Thursday, the eighth of June, was the day of our History of Magic NEWT. But it wasn't _just_ the History of Magic NEWT—it was _the very last_ of our NEWTs. (Well, except for the people that took Muggle Studies, because that was on Friday. But not many people took that class. Especially not at NEWT level. So that was irrelevant.)

It was the last exam we'd ever take at Hogwarts again. (You know, considering you weren't one of those silly Muggle Studies kids, which most people weren't.)

When the professors had called _time _and all of our exams had been taken up, I think the entire room of students paused to take that final breath and stare at each other in eager anticipation. As soon as we were dismissed from the Great Hall, a good eighty percent of us were cheering and screaming in victory.

The professors looked like they might want to stop us, but I guess they just hadn't had the hearts to cap our enthusiasm.

It was _over_.

* * *

On our supply list before first term, there had been a very clear indication that seventh years would require dress robes for the end of the year. In the third of week of June, there was an annual event known as the Leaving Ball, a prologue of sorts to the Leaving Feast.

It was mildly silly, I concluded, to end a good seven years of education with a Ball, of all things, but Lily looked excited, and I reckoned I should have been as well.

Lily, Mary and I were supposed to meet the boys sometime after the sky got dark. I'd forgotten exactly when they specified, but I figured that Lily was being rather punctual about it all, so she'd remind me when we needed to go.

I sat by the window and watched in solemn silence as the sky slowly slid to dark. Grey, dusty clouds hung in the sky, masking all sunlight and seeming to whisper rain. I almost laughed. How cheery.

Lily walked out of the bathroom, a cross look on her face. "_Ugh_," she said, stomping over to where I sat. "Those girls are awful. Crowding the mirror and pushing everyone out of the way. They were stepping on my feet, and they didn't even apologize! Remind me to _never_ go to another Hogwarts ball again."

I shot her a momentarily sly smile before returning my eyes to the window. Well, _of course_ we'd never be attending another Hogwarts ball again, Lily.

"Why the long face?" she asked, sitting at my side.

"Just thinking."

"You've got a particularly depressed looking thinking face."

"Well, I do feel slightly depressed," I said in a small voice and sighed. "I'm ready, though."

"That you are," Lily said, and smiled brightly. "And might I add that you look _absolutely_ breathtaking. So breathtaking, in fact, that I might faint from lack of oxygen."

"Oh, stop it with the flattery," I said, rolling my eyes and returning her a smile. "You look positively heart stopping. I just might die looking at you."

It wasn't a lie, either. She was wearing a golden dress, sparkles at the top that gently cascaded and faded towards the bottom. She'd just finished sorting out what she was going to do with her hair, and left it'd down and pushed it to one shoulder. The red strands curled together in a simple sweep at her collarbone. All together, there were little words to sum it up well. Lily Evans was just radiant.

She pondered that for a moment, and then said, "I feel like that could be taken badly."

"It could be," I agreed. "Maybe if you'd just stop being so beautiful then we wouldn't have this issue."

"All right, fine, _now_ I'm flattered." She grinned goofily. "Anyways, we're just waiting for Mary now. We'll leave once she's done."

We both stood, leaning onto our bed frames, and conversed senselessly about our lack of dancing skills. I doubted she couldn't dance, honestly. Knowing Lily, she'd probably picked up a book somewhere and studied it when I wasn't looking.

As we were talking, a girl slipped out of the bathroom (with apparent struggle—it seemed to be an animal house in there). The girl was Lucy O'Daley, clad in bright, shocking purple and blond ringlets locked in place. My eyes narrowed upon the sight of her, and she went through the dorm obliviously, because Lucy O'Daley was in general an oblivious person, and left without noticing Lily's or my glare.

I realized quickly we'd both been directing similar looks towards her, and we simultaneously burst out into laughter.

"Oh, we should be nice," Lily said with forlorn. "I mean, she's awful, but we shouldn't stoop down to her level."

"Who'd she end up going with, anyway?"

"Ben Swott." She shrugged. "Peter's better off with that other girl he asked, anyhow. She's sweet, in a squeaky, little person sort of way, you know?"

Last week, Peter had made an incredible fuss over asking Lucy O'Daley to the ball. Peter had _never_ out rightly fancied a girl like he did O'Daley, so the entire thing was pretty controversial all in itself. When he'd finally strung up the courage to ask her, though, she'd automatically said no.

Sure, the girl had the right to reject his offer, but she hadn't had to say it in such a cold manner, nor in front of the Gryffindor House, as she'd clearly made certain. The girl was a bint.

Sorry. Being nice. Right.

Peter had been a wreck for two days straight. He'd refused to eat anything, and James and Sirius had practically had to tie him down to shove some form of food down his throat. He'd shaken himself out of his trance a few days later, and then on Monday morning he'd announced he had a date. Which was so surprising of a recovery that it was almost appalling, really. He'd asked out a Hufflepuff girl that I was constantly forgetting was in our year. I mean, literally, she was tiny. But, as Lily had said, she was sweet, in a 'squeaky, little person sort of way.' So, Peter was fine now, and this Hufflepuff girl was much better suited for him.

But, still. He was my friend, and if Lucy O'Daley had the right to reject him, I had the right to resent her for it.

"Yeah, you're right," I said to Lily. "Her name's Amelia, right?"

"I think so. Amelia Bones. I like her."

I did, too. He'd brought her up to us to meet her, and she'd spent an afternoon with us by the Black Lake. She was cute.

Shortly after that, Mary came stumbling out of the bathroom, breathless and flushed in the face. "Merlin, am I glad they don't put that much effort in their hair every morning!" She stopped, pulling at her dress. "Do I look all right?"

"You are _gorgeous_, Mary."

"Yeah. You should send your photograph in for Charming Witch Weekly."

She giggled. And she did look gorgeous in that wispy pink dress of hers. "Well, thanks. God, the two of you are lovely. Gracie, red's definitely your color."

"You're too sweet," I said, lightening up considerably. Might as well, I figured. "Shall we go now?"

"Absolutely! We've got places to be!"

* * *

"I don't _think_ so," Sirius said, taking my hand and leading me away. "I will not allow your first dance of the night to be with anyone but me. Besides, the _last_ time something like this was going on, Remus was your date."

"Yeah, well, he regretted that, didn't he?" I smiled at Sirius, enjoying the way he pulled me close to him as the music started somewhere far away. "I'm sorry. I'm sure the bloke just doesn't have a date and he wanted someone to dance with." In reference to the stray Ravenclaw that had asked me to dance a good five minutes before the music had even started.

"Yes, love, but I do have a date, and I don't intend on letting her get away just yet." He smiled. "By the way, did I tell you that you're beautiful?"

I was trying to keep a straight face, but I was still smiling. "No."

"Well, you are, Gracie."

"Thanks," I said softly, then started laughing. "You're beautiful, too." And he was, the kind of beautiful that made me want to stare all night.

He just winked as the music got louder and we drifted along together to the music. I wasn't entirely familiar with dancing, but I figured it out pretty quickly and soon we were moving in step through the crowd. I decided I didn't care too much for dancing, but I liked being with Sirius, so perhaps dancing wasn't that bad after all.

I spotted Peter and Amelia somewhere far off, prancing and twirling and doing whatever else the song entailed. Then I looked for Remus and Mary, and found them on the other side of the room, laughing their heads off. And then I finally spotted Lily and James, and out of everyone in the Great Hall, I think it was safe to say that they were the most stunning couple of anyone in the room. Just the way they held each other and smiled into each other's eyes, oh _Merlin_, I could have started gushing and squealing right there. I loved them. I hadn't meant to, but I found Kenneth somewhere off, too, dancing with Ruth. There was an odd feeling in the pit of my stomach, though not necessarily an unpleasant feeling. I smiled instead.

I turned my attention back to Sirius, who I noticed had been looking at me while I'd been momentarily distracted. The thoughts of the others slipped from my mind and I raised my brows curiously at him.

He just shook his head, grinning slightly. "Nothing."

The song changed then, tempo rapidly increasing and vibrating off the walls. We both shared a quick look before he grabbed my hand and dragged me into the mob that had formed. At first I groaned at his insistence, but the atmosphere was infectious. The air was thick and every sound was heightened as it pumped in my ears. Soon enough the two of us were dancing, along with the majority of the student body, and things elevated into insanity.

Sirius took my hand again and spun me under his arm. I twirled in my spot, only once, because the scene was dizzying enough as it was, and crashed back into him with a laugh. I'd been laughing the entire time, with every bob and wiggle and spin I did, because it was _ridiculous_, but next to Sirius, strangely fun.

The others appeared magically around us. I caught glimpse of Lily and Mary and pulled them to the front in a rush of excitement. We danced like lunatics, thrashing about wildly and jumping up and down. Our moves were peculiar, in a way that was purely hilarious and the farthest distance from serious we could manage. The music was still a roar in my head, and in that loud moment, everything else in the world felt so far away. Like we weren't even really at Hogwarts anymore. We were strangers, in a foreign land, paired with heavy music, children growing up and drifting away from home. It was surreal, and with the intensity of sound crowding my mind, there was absolutely no room for solemn thoughts.

Mary, Lily and I were laughing so hard that when the music calmed down, the three of us were doubled over with laughter, struggling to catch our breaths between hiccupping giggles.

Finally, after several thousand gasps, I righted myself as the music softened like a heartbeat and another slow song crept throughout the Hall. It echoed off of the walls and fell to my crazed, racing pulse like mist.

"Oh, I _need_ to dance with somebody now," Lily moaned in annoyance. I scanned the crowd absentmindedly for James, but he seemed to have disappeared. Sirius, too. But Remus's sandy brown head of hair was bobbing somewhat of a distance away.

"Me too," I agreed quickly, deciding that the gentle tempo was too irresistible to go to waste. "You see Sirius anywhere?"

Lily shook her head. "No. James?"

"No," I said, craning my neck. "But I see Remus."

Mary and I shared a look.

"You wouldn't," she said.

I smiled innocently. "Wouldn't what?"

"Gracie—"

"If I get there first, he's mine!"

"Fine, but you _won't_ get there first...!"

Needless to say, a minute of squeezing past couples and shouting fast apologies later, I was there first.

"Remus! Hi! Do you want to—"

"No! Remus!" Mary rushed up, cutting my words short and taking him by both of the hands, "Come on, let's go dance!"

"Hey! That's cheating! I clearly got here first!"

"_What_, Gracie?" Mary shot me a backwards glance and winked mischievously before sauntering off with her victory. Poor Remus. He looked hopelessly confused.

Oh well. I stood in place for a moment idly, wondering if I should go look for Sirius or not, before some unwanted adventurer found me and asked for a dance. I didn't mind dancing, it was just that... well... maybe I minded it a little...

"Gracie!" Two arms slid their way around my waist, immediately shrinking away my thoughts and leaving my head blank. Sirius planted a kiss on my cheek, then spun me around and tugged on my elbow. "Come on, what do you say we get out of here?"

"_Sirius!_ Merlin," I sighed, and let him drag me off for possibly the hundredth time that night. "Where are we going?"

"Don't sound so afraid," he chastised lightly, smiling in a rather goofy manner. He pushed through the doors out of the Great Hall and laced his fingers through mine absentmindedly. I noticed the gesture, though. I liked the warmth.

"Are we going outside?" A valid question, considering it had been raining off and on all day.

"Maybe."

I frowned thoughtfully but didn't say anything more. That was indeed where we were headed, it seemed, and upon reaching the fresh outdoors, I discovered it wasn't raining at all. The path was still wet, of course, but the rain appeared to have stopped.

"You can still hear the music from out here," Sirius said, shaking his head. "Oh well. Wanna walk with me?"

"Sure," I said, thinking how he should be thanking his lucky stars I'd chosen comfort over stilettos for my shoe choice this evening. Unlike Lily. She'd probably long kicked her shoes off by now, though.

We walked then, but slowly, like we were two people with all the time in the world. And maybe we were.

"What do you think's going to happen?" Sirius asked after a moment, as if he'd been holding the question for a while. "After we leave. With the war."

I tilted my head ever so slightly, watching our footsteps. "I think it'll be dead scary for a long time," I answered honestly. "But I don't think it's anything we can't handle."

Sirius made a noise like a laugh, though it was dry. "What _can _we handle, really?"

"Plenty of things, I'm sure," I said. He was right, though, in a way. "It'll just require a little bit of invested effort, I think."

He nodded slowly, as if processing the idea, and then said, "That sounds okay."

"Yeah. I like okay."

"How long are you going to be gone to see your parents?"

"Two weeks. Maybe three." I winced. "Depending on how it goes."

"You're making me wait three weeks to see you? An entire three weeks? Gracie." He said my name like a sigh, a gentle, teasing exhale of breath that made me crave our proximity so much more.

"I'm not sure how transatlantic owling services work, either, so I don't think I'll be able to write."

"You're killing me here."

"I can assure you that I take no pleasure in the entire ordeal," I said painfully. "I'd _much_ rather be stuck in dreary old England."

"When you get back, you can visit my flat. Maybe help me with some interior decorating or something. Merlin knows I need some help in that department."

"I will have you know that I am an avid believer in pink roses as the single most important decoration in _any_ home, shape or size, witch or wizard."

Sirius groaned. "Fine, never mind, then. I suppose I could always just ask Remus, he's always liked that, oddly enough—hey, did you just feel a drop on your head?"

I stared at him, eyes going wide. We simultaneously glanced backwards at the path we'd travelled down, and then up to the dark, foreboding sky as more drops of water sprinkled over my face.

"I thought it was _done_ raining!"

"I have been highly suspicious of those ruddy clouds the entire day," said Sirius, flailing his hands about in the air. "And look! They promised security and they have _betrayed_ us!"

"I fear you are being far too melodramatic, Siri-dearest." I grinned cheekily and took both of his hands in mine. "Let's go inside, before the drizzle ruins your hair. I'm sure it took you a long time to get it like that, yeah?"

"Actually," Sirius said, and inclined his head in a sharp, exaggerated movement as he did so, "I was _born_ with my hair like this."

"Hm." I pondered on that thought. "Your mother must have been devastated."

"Don't be like that," Sirius said, drawing me to him in an almost absentminded manner, and his smile was alight with mischief. It was hard not to kiss him. "You know, I heard that when someone's mean to you, it means they fancy you."

I shoved him away, laughing, rain falling harder around us. "Or maybe I just don't like you."

"See, but that's what you're _supposed_ to say. You're playing yourself right into my hands, love."

"Well, maybe that was the intention."

"You've got no idea what you're saying, Gracie. You're going off of an impulse. Leaping off a ledge of faith, hoping the ground's not too far away to catch you."

I rolled my eyes at the metaphor. "I think it's _you_ who's got no idea what he's saying."

"Probably. Did you know it's raining?"

"_No_." I gasped. "Really? How come I didn't feel that?"

"Oh, shut up," he laughed. "Our nice clothes are going to get ruined."

"Along with our hair," I pointed out, noticing how mine was beginning to cling to my skin.

"Let's go, then. It's an emergency!"

I didn't really mind the rain, though, and I'd always heard that life was meant to be lived in the moment. And this seemed like a really potentially good moment. "One second," I murmured softly, bringing myself back to him and meeting my mouth against his.

He responded slowly, as if he was taken aback, but reignited gradually like a paradoxical fire in the pouring rain. I smiled into the kiss, letting it linger for a few long moments, then pushed my hands against his chest to wriggle away, because if I hadn't, we might never have been able to pull ourselves apart.

I slipped from his grasp, a glint in the dim light of the grounds. "Come on, I'll race you!"

"You know, these things never end well for you, Gracie."

"Yeah? Wanna bet?"

"Oi! _You're cheating again!_ Get back here, Grace Hachette!"

* * *

And the hats had been thrown into the air, floating against gravity, like feathers in the wind...

"..._Congratulations to the graduating seventh year...!_"

The wind that blew over the Black Lake was icy and drove a strangely hollow nerve throughout my core as I watched lines of students file out from the castle and towards the assembled rows of first-year boats. It was like walking in a trance, really, one that I wasn't quite sure how to wake up from. I could hear McGonagall's voice some distance away, echoing through the dark, "Three to a boat! Three to a boat _only_!"

Everything about this was nostalgic of my first steps here. Sickeningly so. I made myself remember how I promised myself I wouldn't cry, and kept repeating this promise in my head like a mantra so I might keep to it. Unlikely, but I hadn't broken it yet.

The boys, Lily, and I were gathered around a single rowboat, staring with trepidation at its size. We'd tried to get Mary to come along with us, but she'd dismissed herself, saying she needed to catch up with Georgia and Eunice. So, there were six of us in total, and we were suddenly faced with a difficult decision: how we would split up the group.

We all met each other's eyes slowly, and through a sort of passing eye contact, we seemed to form a silent agreement.

I don't know who said it, only that it wasn't me, but upon the initiatory shout, "I'M GETTING THE SEAT," the race was definitely on.

All at once, we were lunging at full speed for the boat.

The situation became something of an unorganized scene, and I was crawling over Remus, who struggled back. I ended up kicking him to the bottom of the boat and wiggled myself on the seat victoriously. "Ha! Take that!"

"You stepped on my hand! Not fair at all!" Remus cried back defensively.

"Oh, sorry, Remus! Pity's not getting me off, though—"

"AHH, WORMY, DON'T EVEN, THE SEAT'S MINE—"

Sirius and Peter were squabbling madly to land themselves on the wooden panel seat of the boat, but neither seemed to be making much progress. Their toil proved unnecessary, however, as Remus took advantage of their preoccupation to grab Sirius's ankle and pull him down to the floor.

"AHHH! YOU BLEEDING GIT!"

James's animalistic yells sounded behind them as he nose-dived on top of them in some sort of tackle.

"GEROFF! I'll hex you!"

"Why don't you get off? _I'm_ not leaving!"

"You smell like a _hippogriff_!"

"Yeah, well how do you know what that smells like?"

The boat swayed back and forth in its rooted spot in the ground as they wrestled like children and Lily, Peter and I slid all over in our claimed seats.

I mean, it would have made a lot more sense if we'd just split up into two boats. But when did anything anyone ever did around here make sense?

"Stop _yelling_!" Lily chided, leaning down to swat at their heads. "They're getting ready to push the boats onto the water."

The three muted immediately and went still, hiding under the seats. Within moments, we were being shoved out onto the lake and gliding on the surface of the water.

Peter gripped the lantern tightly as we floated, and for a moment everything was eerily peaceful. The icy chill over the lake settled the melancholy in the pit of my stomach, and I found myself glancing back over my shoulder to the dimly lit castle. It was just as majestic as it had been the first time I'd laid my eyes on it, the place that was warm on the inside every day of the year, the place that had been home. My heart was loud in my chest as I thought this, and my tears were getting harder to restrain.

The boys stirred at the front of the boat, craning their necks for a glimpse. They bounced all over the side, sending the boat rocking in violent tilts.

"Moony, stop shaking the boat!"

"Oh, that's rich, Padfoot. It was probably _you_!"

"Just stop moving, the both of you, and we won't have this issue."

"But I'm _not_ moving! It's not me!"

"It's not me, either!"

"Oh, this is bollocks, why is the boat rocking so bloody much?"

"It's because the weight's unstable!" Lily shouted at them impatiently. "Nobody move! At all!"

"We're not moving!"

"WE'RE GONNA TIP!"

When Peter started shrieking beside me, it created a chain reaction of comical panic. Well, comical later, at least, because we all honestly thought then that we were about to flip into the water. And some of us knew from experience that this was not exactly the best water for swimming.

Yet somehow, through the flaying and laughing and apologizing and screaming about our certain and imminent deaths, the scene was mesmerizing, and calming of sorts. The black glaze of the water was lit with specks of fire, leading us to the train at the foot of the castle grounds. In the dark, everything was vivid and fresh and overwhelming, and I thanked Merlin that I was laughing so hard, or I would have no doubt been in tears.

When we finally made it to the other side of the lake, we returned to scrambling on top of each other for the exit, as soon as feasibly possible. Sirius and James fell to the ground in heaps, gasping and heaving, and pressed their faces to the earth, crying in unison, "_Land at last!_"

My last steps on the Hogwarts grounds proceeded in a blur. I was vaguely aware of numerous bodies squeezing in through the door of the train, searching desperately for compartments, people everywhere in hysterics...

We came upon our own compartment eventually, and I crawled wordlessly to the window, staring out wide-eyed at the castle for the last time. The others came and joined me, pressing their faces and hands against the glass, saying nothing, a mutual lack of coherent thought. We watched till the train roared to life, and it wasn't until we were moving and everything was gliding away that I said to Sirius, "This is it, isn't it? It's the end."

But he just shook his head, a microscopic gesture, and said gently, "Not really. Nothing ever really has an end. The end's only an illusion, Gracie."

* * *

**END OF PART ONE**

...

_A/N: If you're wondering if this is the end, just ask Sirius. (Serrriously.)_

_This chapter took a bit too long to write for my liking, but it was strangely sentimental, and I didn't want to rush Gracie's final moments at Hogwarts. I feel like a lot of people do that in their stories, and I wanted to emphasize how important the place was to her. I mean, heck, it'd be pretty sad for me to leave, too! Gosh, I'd never want to leave. _

_But, anyways. The story will take on a completely different aspect from this point on. I've got a tentative plan for the rest, so I should be able to get the prologue out for part two shortly. Well, kind of shortly. I don't know. It will just start at chapter 28, anyway, so you don't have to worry about hunting down an entirely different sequel story. There will be a part three (in the distant future) also, which will just be tacked onto this as well. I'm not really fond of creating entirely new stories for sequels and such... I dunno. Maybe I should, but I won't. Oh well._

_SO THIS IS THE END! Well, you know what I mean. Thanks to everyone so much for your support lately. It's overwhelming. Goodness, I love you all. I'll see you next time, everyone. xx _


	28. Part Two: Prologue

**PART TWO**

* * *

** - Prologue -  
**

Fresh air was essential; otherwise, I'd have certainly gone mad. I hadn't yet, which was good news all in itself, especially with the fact that I was going to be leaving tomorrow morning.

The routine: hold your breath. Smile. Laugh when appropriate. Escape whenever possible.

It wasn't my parents that were unbearable, but rather their company. Every other day they'd rotated between guests, introducing me to work friends and acquaintances, still trying to find their "niche" in the community. Really, good for my parents, but did I _really_ have to be included in all of it?

"Grace! There you are! We missed you inside," a voice bellowed out from the door to the patio, and before I could do anything else, Steve was beside me. "You know, leaving out the cheese and crackers for the rest of us is endangering to our health. Do you _know_ how high my blood pressure is?"

No, but I reckoned mine was getting fairly close to his.

Steve was drunk. And from what I knew of Steve, he was always drunk. I didn't really care. I just didn't want to talk about my career aspirations with my parents' friends anymore. Because what could I tell them, honestly? Well, I'm planning on furthering my magical education so I can fight this evil bloke named Lord Voldemort. You wouldn't have heard of him, but he's a pretty infamous sorcerer from where I live. Yeah. Great future ahead of me. Oh, and also, I just graduated from a boarding school in Scotland where staircases move and portraits talk and hats sing and people fly on broomsticks!

Normally when your family's company asks you questions that your family knows makes you uncomfortable, they try to step in and save your arse. But not my parents. I just squirmed and writhed in my seat while my mum asked if anyone wanted more tea.

So, apparently, I had attended a boarding school in Dufftown and I was now planning on studying engineering. I don't know why I'd said that, but it'd been the first thing I could think of. It was a mistake. Steve had studied engineering at uni, too, and he'd decided in his drunken stupor that we were the best of friends and hadn't stopped talking to me since.

He was talking again, but I'd missed half of what he'd said. That was okay, because he really didn't seem to be waiting for a response, anyways.

The patio door slid open behind me but I didn't turn to see who it might have been. It was probably Mum again, coming out to complain about me behaving like an angry, introverted child. She couldn't yell at me if Steve was here, though, so maybe she'd go back inside. I just stared out at the trees that bordered the backyard, my gaze dimming with lack of focus. Everything was so green here. It felt similar to home, in a way, but my parents' house here was so much nicer. Of course, it wasn't really _my_ home.

I stirred slightly when a voice sounded beside me, distinctly not Steve's nor my mother's. Diane, Steve's lovely, high-browed twig of a wife. "Steve, honey, I was just thinking we could get back home. Before it gets dark. You know I can't drive worth hell at night."

I think Steve had just been on a spiel about outsourcing work to giraffes, though he might have said Indians. Well, I could hardly be blamed. He had a slur that was difficult to decipher between the alcohol and his normal inflection.

Diane said some more things to Steve, who only shrugged with half of an effort. Then she turned on me, smiling tightly. "Grace, it was a pleasure to meet you, sweetie. I hope all goes well for you at school this year. England is so far, though! Oh, I'd hate to send my children so far away."

I suppressed a grimace and returned a smile of my own. "It was nice to meet you, too." Maybe not the most subtle subject change ever.

"Have I told you that you've got the _cutest_ little accent ever?"

She had. I hadn't returned the compliment. I mean, it wasn't a terrible accent. But when she'd very enthusiastically pointed out that she was from England, too, _New_ England, I couldn't help but think that her New England accent sounded nothing like an English accent.

I'd been nice, though. I said 'thank you' and smiled like a light bulb.

After a few more minutes of senseless chatter, we'd trekked in from the patio and I said my goodbyes to Diane and good ol' Steve. Steve wanted me to come back next summer so he could catch up on how my engineering classes had gone, and so I allowed myself to promise I would. Their goodbyes seemed to last longer than dinner itself had, but finally they'd gone, in a little, stylish black Mercedes, and zipped down the road and out of sight.

When they were gone, I braced myself for a lecture from Mum. I went straight to the dishes, not making eye contact, and scrubbed and rinsed on repeat, replaying the inevitable situation in my head. _You could have tried a little harder not to look like a tortured child! _or, _You're eighteen years old, you'd think you could look a little less moody? _or, _All we do is brag on you, and then you show up the exact opposite of everyone's expectations! _And on, and on, and on…

When I'd finished the dishes, though, neither Mum or Dad had come into the kitchen to scold me. I tiptoed curiously into the living room where they had resigned themselves after dinner, and found Dad lounging on the sofa, staring at the television in daze, Mum in an armchair, eyes intent on the paper. Well, things had just gotten even more curious.

I went and sat near my mother cautiously, waiting silently for the rampage to begin. Neither had seemed to move at my presence, however, and it was a while before either moved at all. Mum, though, huffed quite visibly and pushed the paper away, saying, "Oh, could it _get_ any worse?"

The slightly rumpled paper lay vulnerable on the table, a moving image on the front instantly catching my eye. My heart pulled in my chest. God, _that_ world felt so far away lately.

"You still get the Daily Prophet?" I asked without really meaning to, reaching out and taking the newspaper in my hands.

"Yes, your father's always insisted… In case either of our families were ever in it, by chance…" She shook her head fervently. "I think we'll end the subscription. It's getting more awful every day. I don't want to see it. And it's so much more expensive to have it sent here."

"Do you get it by owl?" I didn't want to think about Sirius, but I would have certainly felt dumb if I _could_ have been writing him all this time and I hadn't been.

"No, Floo."

"Oh," I said, feeling slightly defeated. Well, maybe I _could_ have kept some sort of contact with him, but I'd see him soon enough, anyhow. My eyes trailed to the paper in my hands, where the title read in big, black letters,

_**MUGGLE CITY IN RUINS, TWENTY-THREE DEAD, DEATH EATER ACTIVITY SUSPECTED **_

I suddenly felt a violent wave of nausea overwhelm me. For a moment, I tried to speak and found my mouth was too dry to form comprehensible words. I pushed the paper back onto the table and hugged myself around the waist.

"You're going back there, aren't you?" Mum said quietly.

It was enough to drag me from the daze. "I am."

Her face broke, a torn, conflicted expression, where she seemed to be unable to decide between breathing and blinking. And then after a long silence that could have possibly stretched on forever, she met my eyes with a hard gaze of her own and said, "Just come back."

* * *

Jet-lag surely must have caused numerous deaths. I had a terrible feeling it was going to cause mine.

Lily's excited shrieks rang in my ears as she hugged me tightly and hopped up and down on her toes. "Oh, I've missed you so much, Gracie! How've you been? You look thin. Oh, it's only been three weeks, but it feels like it's been a year! Oh, Merlin, you can't ever go back there again! No, I'm only joking, of course you have to go back. How was it? I heard that America's hot."

I rolled my eyes, unable to repress a grin. "Take a breath, will you?"

We sat at a small table outside the café and ordered two lattes. I honestly preferred tea, but Lily had insisted, and who was I to argue with her?

"Sorry. But, really, is it hot there?"

"Not at all," I said with a shrug. "My parents live in the northeast. I think the south's hot."

"Where do they live?"

"New Hampshire."

"Oh," she said, blinking. "Haven't the foggiest."

"Well, it's pretty there. You should come with me next time."

"Oh, I _wish_. Sounds so much better than what I was doing all this time." She locked her jaw thoughtfully.

"Petunia didn't get married already, did she?"

"No. She might as well have, though. It's next month." She looked like she was trying to be angry, but she looked more forlorn than anything else. "I wouldn't be surprised if she just retracted my invitation."

I frowned. "I'm sorry, Lily. I'm sure the wedding will be all right."

"I hope so." She rubbed her forehead. "I went to see James's parents last week. His dad's ill. They think it's an early strain of dragon pox."

I felt my eyes widen. "That's curable, isn't it?"

"Well, there's a cure. But it's not entirely reliable, and you know Mr. Potter… he's not the youngest."

"That's terrible," I said quietly, and for a moment, I tried imagining one of my own parents deathly ill… Maybe I didn't like them all the time, but I'd never imagined them just not _being_ there. It left me feeling oddly hollow. "How are your parents?"

"Dad's the usual," she said with a small, wispy sigh. "His memory's getting worse. Mum's been doing well. She's all over the place with Petunia's wedding, though. I don't want her overworked."

"I'd offer to help, but Petunia might start crying," I said reproachfully.

Lily let out a laugh in spite of herself. "Too true. We don't need that." She shook her head, then cried, "Oh, our lattes!" as the lady brought us the two cups. "Thanks so much! What speedy service!"

The woman, a broad, dark, curly-haired plump of a thing, smiled a bit awkwardly before walking away again.

Somehow, in this weird, foreign place, Lily and I found something normal in our friendship to latch onto.

* * *

_Gracie,_

_I think you're supposed to be back by now, but what do I know… You're lucky I even remember your birthday, love! Dates are awful, cruel things. So, anyways, I hope you get this letter, because, as I said, you know how I am…_

_How was America? I think it's been four weeks since we graduated. But it's probably been three. I dunno, I've been spending too much time with James in pubs. It's been a lonely existence while you've been gone. Oh, I mean, well, we got smashed a few times, but I promise I didn't do anything that you'd hex my eyes out for. We had a designated Apparator, too, so no splinching. Or apparating onto tables and breaking vases. (Remus is good at apparating. He shoulder consider it as a profession, I think.)_

_For some reason, I was just sitting here and remembering that letter you wrote me at the beginning of seventh year. When you apologized for nearly burning all of my hair off. And also burning my biscuits. More importantly my biscuits. And I kept thinking how you signed it with, 'Love, Gracie.' It's funny how I never really knew. I mean, I guess I did always kind of know, but I didn't. That was a bad explanation of it. I promise my feelings are actually much more complex than that. But a good kind of complex. There's a good kind of complex, isn't there?_

_Anyways, I guess my point is that I miss you. Simple as that. Write back, if you get this, that is… And if you don't, well… write back anyways!_

_Love you,_

_Sirius_

I dropped the letter onto my stomach and rolled over in my bed. I'd gone to the flat my parents had bought for me (temporarily) just today. So far, the flat was dead empty, nothing moved in, aside from the small bed I was curled up on currently. The walls were starch white and the carpet was a dusty tan. Everything was blank, so unfilled and lifeless. I didn't like it so far.

But it was my flat. So, that was good. Yeah.

My bags were scattered randomly around the floor and I found myself rummaging through them for some spare parchment, and my favorite quill, the one Peter had gotten me for Christmas…

_Sirius, _

_For the record, it's almost been four weeks. But technically I think it's been three. Either way, that's far too long. I got back in this morning, actually. I took a plane…the flight was unbelievably dreary. You've never been on a plane, so you wouldn't know. You're definitely going on a plane. You'll see.  
_

_In my defense, I didn't come see you because Lily dragged me out right after I'd gotten home, and I'm exhausted, and also, I don't know where you live. I mean, I guess I could kind of ask this owl, but, no, stop it, Sirius, I know I'm not making any sense, stop laughing at me! _

_America was fine. Good weather, but who cares about weather? I spent a lot of time with old people, but it was tolerable, sometimes. I told my parents about the Order. They almost had a meltdown, but I basically told them that I'm an adult and they can't tell me what to do. They (kind of) let it go. _

_I've got an interview with the Daily Prophet tomorrow. Cross your fingers, yeah?_

_Come visit me soon. Please. I miss you._

_Love, _

_Gracie_

* * *

__A/N: You guys are the best. Good luck to everyone who's starting school this Monday. (Lucky you.) In the meantime, more GracieSirius soon. x


	29. So Much to See

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

_So Much to See_

"Are we late?"

Lily scoffed. "Like I'd be _late_, honestly, Gracie."

"Then where is everyone?" The rooms of the house were tight and damp with an unpleasant, musty smell that seemed to increase exponentially the further we ventured into it.

"Don't be silly. This is highly top-secret, of course, so they're not just going to be sitting out in the open."

Considering we'd had to circle the street house three times to find the house in the first place, I didn't really consider this 'out in the open.'

"Doesn't it defeat the purpose if we can't even find the meeting place?"

Again, she rolled her eyes, and let out a long, heavy, and very unnecessary sigh, ushering me forward. We stepped through what appeared to be a sitting room. I eyed the carpet as we walked, noticing how it resembled curtains rather than an actual functioning carpet: green, velvet curtains, probably crawling with insects and rodents. I watched where I stepped just in case.

"I know where it is, just have some patience," Lily said, and after trekking around the remains of a tan armchair—I wasn't even going to ask what happened to it—we came to the wall, where a portrait of a small boy dressed in all black resided.

"Is this the entrance?" I asked, purely curious. Well, it was a valid question. Either that or the entrance was beneath the dismantled armchair, but I was banking on this.

"Shh," said Lily, not taking her eyes off the boy. He didn't stir in the slightest. I figured that it must not have been a magical portrait at all, but Lily kept staring it down adamantly anyway. "We'd like admittance to the Order."

"I beg your pardon," the boy said, and I jumped, honestly, three meters in the air. Neither gave it any attention, and the boy went on, in a chilling tenor that seemed far too developed for his apparent age, "I'm afraid I don't know what it is you speak of."

Lily looked somewhat miffed, but squared her shoulders and stood up straighter to appear as if she was not becoming more distressed by the moment. She liked to pretend she knew what she was doing, but she was every bit as uncertain about all of this as I was. "I was told that you were the one to go to in order to acquire admittance. Are you not Jonathan?" Good thing I'd left all this investigative stuff to her.

"I am," he replied nonchalantly, sounding genuinely disinterested.

Lily sighed rather wearily. "Well, would you know anything about where the entrance is, then?"

He shook his head, little curls unmoving on his head like they were crafted of marble. Or paint. Whichever. "I've been sworn to secrecy."

This change of tune caused Lily's face to flame a bright red. I supposed I should have stepped in at that point, but she did tell me to be quiet, because 'she knew what she was doing.' I was only following instructions, after all. "But you just said you knew nothing about it. Which is it then?"

"I am not at liberty to respond."

"Oh, for the love of Merlin!" she cried loudly. "What does it take to get in here, a galleon?"

"Of course not, miss. I'd have no way of accepting your payment, if that was the case." The little boy smirked lightly, sadistically enjoying the entire charade.

She narrowed her eyes at his sarcasm, most likely wanting to claw his face off with her nails. I would have encouraged it, seeing as he was only paint, but I kept my mouth closed. "The question was rhetorical," Lily snapped.

The boy did not supply her with an immediate response, and instead slowly drifted his gaze to someplace beyond her, eyes focusing and unfocusing. After a long, pondering moment, he looked back to Lily and me both with a rather curious expression and said, "There is a way that you may prove your allegiance, if you are willing."

"Of course," answered Lily, her voice now not only weary but a mix of wary as well.

He nodded his head to the same place behind us. "There are two goblets on that table behind you. Drink their contents and you will be granted admittance."

The two of us turned to find the table of mention, and discovered that there were indeed two tall goblets on a table only steps away from where we stood. We shared a look, neither of us daring to say a thing. Namely that the situation was certainly not under control and this appeared to be our only option. Or that said only option could be the last option we ever had.

Oh, well. Surely the Order wouldn't try to poison us at the first meeting. I took the initiative and trailed forward, reaching the table in wide strides, and took a goblet in my hands.

Unfortunately, I hadn't been able to see how revolting the strange liquid in the goblet looked from the previous distance. At the distance I was at then, however, it was much easier to see.

"Gracie, hold on," Lily chided as she followed after me and tentatively took the remaining goblet in her own hands. "Don't just_ drink_ it. It requires proper investigation. This could be a test."

"A test of our loyalty, yeah?"

"Yes, that too. But it could also be a test to rate our gullibility."

Something sounded far off, like a violent cracking of glass. Lily and I's eyes widened simultaneously, potent looking drinks in hand and snotty-nosed boy watching in his cozy little frame. We'd been warned that there would be no disapparating anywhere near Order headquarters, and that if there was any sign of enemy infiltration, we were to conceal ourselves immediately or take the direst measures possible to escape. We could not be found alive near the Order of Phoenix meeting place.

Which was rather inconvenient, because our short-winded minds could only process one way out, and that way was, indeed, our friend Jonathan's rather poor choice of beverage.

We hadn't needed to confirm this idea, either, because as soon as heavy footsteps followed the noise, we were already raising the goblets to our lips.

"Eh, reckon Benjy'll try to kick us out for being late again? Last time I swear Mad-Eye woulda let 'im—"

I was about to down the contents, but a deafening clatter and a, "Gracie, wait—_Reducto!_" stopped me in my tracks.

The goblet fell to the ground in simmering ash, and the instant passed so quickly that my eyes transitioned within a moment from the disaster at my feet to the two tall red-headed men in front of me, staring blankly in return.

For a moment, absolutely nothing happened. But then the silence broke at the sound of the two men bursting into explosive laughter.

"Johnny boy! You've really _got_ to quit it with your pranks, honest!"

"Really, it's a wonder we got any new recruits at all with you makin' half of 'em drink gravy fat every other week. Swear, Dumbledore's gotta quit leavin' it out here."

"_Gravy fat_?" Lily shuddered and directed a glare towards the boy in the portrait, who was laughing too hard to notice or care.

"Sorry, lassies," one of them said, and at a quick glance, he looked entirely identical to the other, aside from choice in clothing and hairstyle, but it was practically impossible to distinguish otherwise. The man that was speaking had longer hair that curled around his ears, and he was wearing a dark-plaid button down, while the other's hair was short enough where it stuck up all over, as if it didn't know where to sit. His shirt was a washed out blue, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. That was how I temporarily differentiated between them: Plaid Man and Blue Man. Plaid Man went on, addressing Lily and me directly, "Jonathan's got a bad rep here. It's a wonder we even give him the honor of protecting the Order."

"Hey! I get them nearly every time, don't I? Shows how easily gimmicked they are, don't it?" the boy of mentioned protested.

"Yeh, but you're bloody rotten and if you weren't a portrait you'd be burnin' in hell, hear? Come on, now, let us in, yeh good for nothing little rascal," Blue Man said, rather gruffly, and Jonathan unhappily obliged. The portrait slid open, reminding me fondly of the Gryffindor common room back at Hogwarts.

"You two are the new recruits, aren't you? Just hopped off from Hogwarts, yeah? What're your names, by chance?" Plaid Man asked, meeting my gaze as he said this.

I took the liberty to respond. "I'm Gracie, and that's Lily."

"No surnames? You on the run or somethin'?" Blue Man asked.

Lily rolled her eyes, laughing, "Lily Evans, Grace Hachette, and we are_ quite_ pleased to have made your acquaintances." Quite pleased you saved our arses before we were forced to drink liquid fat, more like.

"Good to hear," Plaid Man said, nodding his head graciously. "Same to you. I'm Gideon, that's Fabian—Gideon and Fabian Prewett, that is, and proud of it."

Right, now they had names. That was going to be confusing. Plaid Man was Gideon. Blue Man was Fabian. Right.

"Sorry 'bout Johnny, by the way," Fabian said—was it Fabian? It was Fabian, surely—as we continued our hike. "Likes to give people a hard time, he does. Reckon it's a miracle we haven't just thrown 'im out already. I've had ta restore 'im twice already, and I'm gettin' bloody tired of it."

"Twice?" Gideon interjected. "Nah, not twice."

"Yeah, twice," Fabian answered stubbornly. "When Dorcas mistaked 'im for a Death Eater—"

"Yeah, that was the only—"

"No, Mundungus tried to burn a hole through 'is head just las' week, and I was the one that was assigned ta restore 'is damn annoyin' face."

"Right, right, I remember," Gideon said, bobbing his head. "So—this is the way, right, Fabian? Or do we turn left? No, right, okay—anyway, are you two birds the only recruits this time around? I was under the impression there were more of you."

"Yeah, four more, actually," I responded, wondering absentmindedly as we snaked through the crooks of the corridor how in Merlin's name Lily and I would have found this place without these two.

"Ah, that's a blessing," said Gideon.

"Yeh, we don't get many people willin' to take up the occupation, and we're much less willin' to tell people about it, anyhow. Not that it's a dangerous occupation or nothing, 'course." He winked at us in the dark, only visible by the glimmer of a torch on the wall.

"Mhm," Gideon said, nodding his head vigorously again. (I was beginning to think it was a habit of his.) "In fact, so very not dangerous that we are quite proud to say that we have never lost an Order member in battle."

"Like that goes to say much. We've done near to nothing for the last coupla years. Oh, found the door," Fabian announced, disgruntled. "I swear, Mad-Eye's tryna keep us out with how often he moves the damn thing. In we go, then. After you, lassies."

"Don't worry!" Gideon said as they both ushered us forward. "This is nothing to fret over. You'll get along just fine, I think. I'll introduce you both around."

The minute the door appeared and Fabian thrusted it open, I was overwhelmed by the sight of the group. At first glance, the group seemed massive, with clutters of people scattered all around the vastly spread room. The room was much warmer and much friendlier than the house and the long corridor had been, thankfully, but there just seemed to be _people_ at all points of the room…

"'Ello, everyone! We found our newbies!"

And then suddenly all eyes were turned on us. Now, I'd never been necessarily a nervous person, but my stomach flipped unpleasantly at the sudden pressure. Gideon's hand was on my back, pushing Lily and me forward, leading us through the group. "This here's Benjy, our good mate—" I nodded at a man with a rather scruff beard, though significantly young in appearance, "And Dorcas, she's lovely—" I smiled at the thin brunette woman, "And this is Edgar, Elphias, Caradoc,"—could he slow down a bit? For the love of Merlin—"Dedalus, Emmeline, oh, that's only Fabian, Mundungus, Alice, Frank—eh, Frank, where's Mad-Eye? The birds've got to meet Mad-Eye!"

Lily and I shared a look. _Mad-Eye? _He sounded slightly intimidating. Worse than gravy fat? Most likely.

"He's with the new recruits in the back room," the man Gideon addressed said, directing his attention to Lily and me. "Frank, like he said. Pleasure to meet you."

We shook hands. "You, too. I'm Gracie," I said, as cordially as possible, and Lily followed similarly.

"This is my wife, Alice," he introduced, drawing forward a rather petite woman with short, spunky hair.

"Nice to meet you," she said, smiling brightly, and we returned it. "Didn't you both just graduate a month ago? Your friends were telling us. This all must be kind of crazy! I can't imagine."

"Yeah," Frank began saying, "we graduated an entire four years ago, and all of this is still crazy for us." They both did look vaguely familiar, now that I thought about it.

"Well, I think we're used to a little insanity by now," I offered, laughing a bit. Lily agreed with me, laughing too, and soon we were spilling countless tales of our rather fond friends' escapades in our Hogwarts times. After continuing to talk some with Alice and Frank, things started to calm down a bit. The group, it seemed, wasn't as large as it first appeared—according to Alice, there was only now a total of twenty-five people actually included in the Order's ranks. It had seemed more like twice that when I'd first walked in.

"There they are!"

Lily and I turned towards the source of noise at the same moment. It seemed almost as if it was only Lily and I, actually, that noticed them at all, because the group quickly resumed its natural pace. I found four distinctly familiar faces, all grinning broadly, and before I could make a movement towards them, Sirius was dashing over to meet me.

"_Gracie!_ You're finally here! You're so bloody late!"

"I wasn't, actually, it was just—" I started to argue, but Sirius wrapped his arms around my sides in one quick motion and spun me around. I shrieked, laughing and squirming to get away, but he just held me tight to him and buried his face in my shoulder.

"It has been far too long since I've seen you," he said, meeting my eyes once more as if there was something to find within them. "Why didn't you come see me?"

I rolled my eyes, still laughing. "Sirius, don't play dumb. We already talked about this." We'd agreed to just meet up at the Order meeting and then go out together afterwards in one of our few letters over the last couple of days.

He smiled, grey eyes light and just as breathtaking as ever. The sight of his smile made something turn fondly in my heart, like a sweet memory rekindled. I'd missed that smile so much. He bent down and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead, and I was so tempted to tilt my head up and meet my mouth with his, but there was a time and place for everything, and this was probably not the best time for that. So, I contented myself with a hug instead.

"Just _wait_ till you meet Mad-Eye," Sirius said to me in a whisper. "He's _loads _of fun."

I raised an eyebrow. "That's not reassuring at all."

He laughed. "You'll see."

I shook my head dismissively and drifted from his grasp to greet the other boys. I hugged them all, making sure to tousle Peter's hair, almost out of instinct. When I got to Remus, he asked, "Hey, how'd that interview for the Prophet go?"

"It was okay, I think," I said with a shrug.

"She blew them out of the water, more like!" Sirius interrupted. I'd told him about it in one of our letters. Of course had to exaggerate. "Her stories are going to be front page material, without a doubt."

I swatted at his arm, shooing him away. "No, it went pretty well, but I don't know. How've you been, Remus?"

"Eh, not bad. Been keeping James and this bloke in line, for the most part." He jabbed a finger at Sirius's chest, who began to complain that we were abusing him.

"All right, _attention_, you lot. I don't know when this meeting became a party, but let's break it up now. We've got important matters to discuss," a gruff voice called out, breaking through the group. I followed the direction of the voice, and it took all the effort in my core to not express my surprise at the appearance of the man. The wooden leg and scarred face weren't even it; it was the electric blue eye on the left side of his face that was swiveling about madly that caught my complete attention and held me rooted to the spot.

He hadn't even needed an introduction; I knew he was Mad-Eye at once. And he far exceeded the title of intimidating.

His normal eye locked onto mine momentarily, and he nodded in acknowledgment in my direction before carrying on. "Things are getting worse. I don't need to tell you that, though; all you've got to do is look outside. We'll need to execute immediate training for our newcomers so we can catch up to our enemies… This war is no time for dilly-dallying."

And, evidently, it was not.

* * *

There was some program playing on the telly, but I'd lowered the volume so much so that the program was only a random collection of lights at the opposite end of the room. I thought it had something to do about fishing, but I couldn't be sure, because Sirius had (the majority of) my attention. He was rattling off about that oddball Mundungus Fletcher who he so far was not overly fond of from the meeting earlier. Mad-Eye's plan of immediate action had been to pair an experienced Order member with one of the six "newcomers," and Sirius had been paired off with Mundungus, seeing as he was one of the longest-standing members who didn't happen to have too many responsibilities tied to him.

I'd gotten Gideon, which I was fairly pleased with. He seemed friendly. Lily had received Emmeline Vance, who I didn't know at all, James with Edgar Bones, who turned out to be the brother of Peter's date for the Leaving Ball, Amelia. It was a small world. Peter was with Aberforth Dumbledore—I hadn't known Professor Dumbledore had a brother at all—and Remus got Fabian.

Overall, they weren't bad mentors at all, aside from perhaps Sirius's. I hadn't actually properly met Mundungus, but Sirius wouldn't quit complaining, so I'd take his word for it, at least.

"He sat there, kicked his feet up, and said, 'Reckon you can go to the library and pick you up something good, if you really want to know about proper defense.'"

I leaned onto his shoulder, letting him vent his frustrations and didn't say a word. He was probably going to be thoroughly annoyed when he discovered I was falling asleep on him, but at that moment, I didn't care.

"Anyway, I'm going to see if maybe they'll switch me out… That Frank bloke seems decent, and I'm sure Dumbledore would see to a switch, I mean, I was always a favorite of his, yeah? You know, I didn't realize how late it was."

"_Really?_" I asked sarcastically.

"When's your flatmate supposed to be back?"

"I dunno, why?"

"Because I think someone's at the door."

"Oh, dammit," I groaned, and indeed, with something of a fight, the front door squeaked open loudly.

In stumbled Loraine, aforementioned flatmate and source of various headaches the majority of the week so far. Tomorrow marked one official week living with her, and my, had it been glorious.

My parents had begun retracting their funding after paying the initial cost for the rent on the flat, and they'd suggested the second day I'd been here that I could "probably use some assistance with the costs." Loraine showed up the day after I'd put up the advert, and alas, here she was, nearly a week later, already perfectly at home.

Which was fine. At least she felt comfortable around me. But there was that factor to consider of how comfortable _too_ comfortable was. She was definitely it, whatever it was. I would elaborate another time, perhaps, but I'll say just one thing: she was completely oblivious. _Completely_, without, regard. For that reason, I was kind of strangely fond of her. She reminded me of Marie-Claire, in a way, and that familiarity was nice. Kind of, anyways.

"Gracie! Are you here?" she called out enthusiastically, dropping her five million bags on the floor to the kitchen and swiveling about frantically. She was quite the character, but had literally no boundaries. Her curly blonde hair was particularly flurried at the moment.

I shifted a little bit on the sofa, waving at her. "Yeah. Sirius is here, too. You haven't met him yet, have you?"

"Oh, no, I haven't. Hullo, Sirius!"

He waved back at her. "Hello! Nice to meet you."

I'd actually only mentioned him once to her and that had been the brief time we had spoken about our boyfriends at all, when we'd discussed the "no boys to spend the night" rule. That was definitely a rule that I could live with, considering Loraine. I'd met her boyfriend twice already; he was blonde, like she was, and tan and thick-necked, kind of slow in speaking. He didn't come off as overly intelligent, and I almost wanted to say that said a lot for why he was with her, but I slapped myself mentally for the thought. I was trying to be nicer to her in my head.

Sirius hopped up from the sofa and went to go shake her hand.

"Nice to meet you, too," she replied, smiling warmly. I dragged myself from my rather comfortable position on the sofa and joined them. "I haven't heard very much about you, to be honest. How long have you two been together?"

On the contrary, he'd heard quite a bit about her. They didn't tend to be very good things. Oh well. I _was_ making an effort to be nicer about her, after all, so I was trying to make up for it.

"Oh, forever," Sirius said with a shrug, shooting me a smirk.

It really hadn't been that long at all, though the giant lapses of actually physically seeing each other seemed to hint that it had. Relatively, though, it'd been no time at all.

I quickly re-gathered my poise, absentmindedly gripping the inside of Sirius's elbow to start pulling him away. We'd established prior to Loraine's arrival that when she did come home from work, we'd go out for dinner or whatever it was Sirius was so excited about doing. He hadn't really explicitly told me what his grand plan was.

"Sirius and I are actually going to go out for a bit, Loraine, so I'll have to catch up with you later, okay?" I said, smiling.

"Oh, okay," she said. "Did you want me to get take-away for later? Pizza or something?"

"Don't worry about me. I'll get something. Thanks, though. See you later!"

"All right, have fun!"

My exit probably looked far too rushed to the average observer, but considering that was how most exits went with Loraine so far, it wasn't too abnormal in our flat. After wrestling with the door—it constantly got stuck, to the point where I'd have to kick it open—we were out in the sanctuary of the staircase.

"So, where are we going?" I asked, sneaking his hand in mine. He didn't mind it, I didn't think.

"Should I tell you?"

"Yes, obviously, dolt."

"All right. Make sure to contain your excitement, though."

"Okay."

"The London Zoo!"

I stared blankly.

"Er, you can uncontain that excitement now."

I paused for a moment, before exclaiming, "Yay, that's great! You're great!" I pulled him in and kissed him on the cheek.

He scoffed. "Now you're lying to spare my feelings."

"No," I gasped, pretending to be genuinely appalled.

"Stop it," he said, but laughed anyways. "Well, you know what? _I'm_ excited. I've never seen an elephant before. I'm going to go see an elephant, and it's going to be marvelous."

"Hey, no, _we're_ going to go see an elephant."

"Right." He smiled slyly.

"You're such a kid," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Oh, I nearly forgot!"

"What?"

He didn't provide me with a verbal response and instead pulled me in close, kissing me tenderly on the lips and stealing my breath away. I'd nearly forgotten how surreal kissing Sirius could be, how everything else in the world could blur and just leave us in the middle of it, awakening every single one of my senses tenfold. One of his hands grazed the skin beneath the very hem of my shirt, the other caressed my face slowly. And every bit of anxiety, trepidation, irritation, all of it, all of it was gone, because Sirius was so much of everything that I couldn't even begin to collect my pulsing emotions into a single word. I kissed him till I was breathless, and even then I didn't let him go, simply because I didn't have to.

When the fervor finally settled, I grinned at him brightly, wanting to memorize the streaks in his eyes, the lines he got when he smiled too big, the way he laughed with his eyes squeezed shut and his head thrown back.

Then it was his turn to ask, "What?"

I just answered with a smile and shook my head, because he didn't need to know how much I really loved him.

"All right then. Let's go! We don't want to miss the zoo!" He grabbed my hand and started dragging me along the staircase.

"Woah, woah, wait a second. How are we getting to London? It's two hours by train, Sirius!"

He gave me a look that seemed to question my sanity. "Gracie, are you a witch or not? We are apparating, of course, but not in front of your flat, where your dear muggle friend could appear at any moment. Right?"

"Oh, right," I mumbled. "I knew that."

He snickered.

"I had a moment. Leave me alone."

"I will very much indulge in doing quite the opposite, thank you."

Of course he would. I'd thank him for it later.

* * *

_A/N: Hi. Do any of you remember me? Woooops... I haven't updated in over a month! I've gotten so tremendously busy, I'm sorry. :( But on a positive note.. I've joined the swim team! I am beating my couch potato-ness and I am... moving myself! Huzzah. I'm unstoppable. _

_Sorry if this was kind of awkward. I haven't written in a while, may I remind you, in case you've already forgotten. Also, it was kind of difficult to throw a whole bunch of new people in there, and I'm not really happy with it, but I'm saving them to develop later, of course. :)_

_LOVE YOU GUYSS leave a review and make me happy, yeah? You guys are brilliant. Mwah! x_


	30. Gone

**Chapter Thirty**

_Gone_

"You've been working here a month, and you still don't know how to work the door?"

I sighed, rubbing my forehead. Sharice just laughed, patted me on the back, and demonstrated how to properly exit the building. It only took a simple tap of your wand near the center of the wall, but my head was throbbing too painfully for me to remember that.

"Long night?" she asked as we walked out into the sunlight, a waft of warm wind surrounding us.

I really was quite fond of Sharice. We were both relatively new to the office; Sharice had come a week after I had, and so we'd bonded over lunch a few times and helped each other out when things just didn't make sense, like then, with the exit.

"Kind of," I admitted. "My flatmate came home last night completely smashed. It wasn't pleasant. I think you get the picture."

She raised a brow in concern. "Oh. Should I even ask?"

I laughed wearily. "No, you don't want to know."

I'd been sleeping when Loraine got in last night, and the only reason I'd known she'd been drunk into oblivion at all was because she turned the hair dryer on at one-thirty in the morning. Her hair dryer wasn't even the _normal_ kind of loud. It was atrocious, like apocalypse in a vacuum kind of atrocious. I'd finally gotten up after fifteen minutes of restlessness to find her in a heaping, crying mess, attempting to dry herself off from walking in the rain. She'd walked home from her friend's party because she'd gotten in a fight with her boyfriend and he'd refused to take her back home. Thus, she had melted into a toxic catastrophe.

She kept pointing the hair dryer at her face like she was trying to dry the tears, and I literally had to pry the stupid thing away from her, force her to change into something dry, and direct her back to her bed. I even used a little instantaneous drying spell on her so she'd stop crying about it. She was too drunk to notice, and it contented her enough where she could finally go to sleep, so it was all in the name of good.

Sharice and I normally dropped by the coffee house after work, but I had that Order meeting to go to, and that was something that was absolutely un-ditchable. Unfortunately. "D'you have the time, by any chance?"

"Er, I dunno."

"Sharice, you've got a _wristwatch_."

"Oh, but it's broken. Alec got it at a muggle market, or something like that." Alec, as in her live-in boyfriend. "He brings back muggle junk for me all the time." She gazed down at it, running her fingers over the gold border. "It's pretty, though, don't you think?"

"Beautiful," I responded to humor her, and rolled my eyes lightheartedly. "You know, I think I've got to run. I was supposed to go somewhere after work and I only just remembered."

"Where to?"

"Well, ah, a meeting." That answer did not appear to satisfy her. "For book club," I finished lamely.

"Book club? Hm. I've never liked those. They always seem to pick dull books."

"Yeah." I nodded, wondering why I'd come up with _book club_ of all things. We were journalists, though, so I supposed it wasn't too odd. I mean, we read and everything. We had to.

Damned Order and their stupid confidentiality policies.

"Go ahead." She waggled her fingers at me, smiling kindly. "You owe me coffee next time, though."

"Oh, fine," I said, sighing as if it was really a burden. "I'll see you later then."

"Absolutely."

And I went and skipped off to a place where I could apparate safely.

It was certainly not good that I didn't know the time. Gideon was not going to be happy.

* * *

Nope. Gideon was not happy.

"Do you take _any_ of this seriously?"

"Yes, very seriously," I sighed, crossing my arms while he continued to scold me. We were instructed to take some time to practice our spells while Dumbledore and the other senior Order members discussed our mission. So, I, of course, ended up in a room with my mentor, where he could chide me like a child all he wanted.

"You can't act like a Hogwarts student, Gracie. You're graduated and mature and you need to _act_ like it. You have to take _this_ seriously so that other people will take _you_ seriously."

I huffed.

"And no huffing!"

"Sorry."

"Good. Now cast a Patronus."

"No forgiveness? No reconciliation? Nothing? Just '_cast a Patronus_'?"

"Cast a Patronus and I won't exile you to Antarctica."

I frowned. "Fine." I closed my eyes briefly, summoning happy thoughts, and struck the air with my wand. "_Expecto Patronum!_"

A shot of brilliant blue light emitted from the tip of my wand, bounding out in the shape of a small, petite cat. He reminded me fondly of Leo, the kitten Sirius had gotten me last Christmas. He wasn't technically much of a kitten anymore. He'd seriously grown about a meter in the last couple of months. Well, maybe not a meter.

Gideon chuckled at the spectacle. "You've got such a flimsy little Patronus. A _cat_."

I gasped, shoving him in the side as my Patronus began fading far off. "Gideon! You're so terrible! What's _your_ Patronus then?"

"A dragon," he answered proudly, straightening his shoulders. "Because I'm strong and mighty."

"Oh, right. _Right_. Show me. I want to see."

"Nah."

"But Gideon, how will I ever know how to properly cast a Patronus? You're my _mentor_, remember?"

"Yours was good. Real impressive. You'll be fine." He patted my shoulder.

"Gideon, I'm going to tell Mad-Eye that you—"

A head peeked through the open entrance of the door. "Tell Mad-Eye what?"

I shrieked, sending a portrait on the wall flying to the floor with my compulsive movement of my wand hand.

"Gracie! You're destroying Order property!" Gideon cried, running frantically to the portrait.

"Woops. Sorry, Gracie." Frank grinned sheepishly.

I sighed and smiled. "Sorry, Frank."

"I was just coming to tell you all that Dumbledore wants everyone to gather in the sitting room to hear instructions for our mission."

"Okay, thanks."

"The portrait's all right!" Gideon announced happily, hanging it back in its proper place. "I apologize, noble knight."

Frank and I shared a look of silent amusement as the three of us went to the sitting room where everyone was already gathered. Lily caught my eye from across the room and waved with enthusiasm, beckoning me to join her and the boys.

I snaked my way through and sat next to Lily on the floor, seeing as the older members had already occupied the sofas. James was at her side, Sirius, Remus and Peter somewhat farther off. They all said their hellos, nodding at me. Sirius winked.

I smiled. "Hey, you lot."

"Where were you before?" Lily asked, green eyes wide with curiosity. "I didn't see you."

"Erm. Got here late."

"Oh. Why? Did you get lost?"

"Sure." I shrugged. "Oh yeah, wasn't Petunia's wedding yesterday? How'd it go?"

Lily's expression got stiff, and James leaned forward, shaking his head frantically, signaling _no don't go there no no no_ as loudly as he silently could.

Well, woops.

"It was fine," was her lame response. "Doesn't matter."

"Yes, you're right, Lils, it doesn't," James reassured, rubbing her back. "Doesn't matter at all."

"I mean, I know she hadn't said anything about me being a bridesmaid before, but I thought, well, maybe she just hadn't mentioned it," Lily began to ramble, looking fixedly at a spot in the floor. "I thought, surely she'd want me to be one. I mean, there was that one little time, at the restaurant, but that wasn't a big deal. I mean, she's my _sister_."

"Shh, shh," James said, still rubbing her back in circles.

"But no! She had all of her friends… all of her friends from school, all of them lined up, her sister nowhere in sight… And someone asked me how I knew Petunia, and I said, I'm her sister, and they said, well, why aren't you wearing a bridesmaid's dress? And I didn't know what to say! Why wasn't I? Because she _hates_ me! But I couldn't have very well said that, could I?"

"Oh, Lily," I said, frowning. "It's all right. She's just bitter. It's just a phase. It's probably just a sister thing."

"You don't _know_ Petunia… She hates me, she really does." She was biting her lip, looking on the verge of tears.

James kissed her cheek and said, "Shh, Lils. It's all right."

She nodded vigorously, wiping her face. "I know, I know. More important things to focus on, right?"

I squeezed her hand. "I promise to listen later if you want."

She nodded again, gently, gradually calming down. "Okay."

Once everyone had gathered in the room, Dumbledore began delivering the orders. While we listened, it was hard not to think how much of a big deal this was. _Our first mission_. All six of us shared an anxious look that hinted some subtle sort of excitement. Even Peter looked mildly excited, and that was definitely saying something.

* * *

"Why did I get paired up with _you_?" I whined, stomping my feet as I walked.

Gideon glared. "I think a more valid question would be why did I get paired up with _you_?"

"Oh, Merlin's trousers," Fabian groaned. "If the two of you don' shut the hell up, I'll curse your mouths off."

Remus pressed his lips together tightly, looking like he was suppressing a laugh.

"Sorry, Fabian," I murmured.

"Damn right you are. Sorry excuse for a cadet, that is."

"You Prewett boys are just cruel, you know that?"

Gideon laughed loudly, wrapping his arm around my neck and ruffling my hair obnoxiously. "Oh, you're like the little sister we never had."

"'Cept we've got three, o' course." Fabian rolled his eyes.

"Well, okay. You're like the fourth sister we never had."

I looked to Remus desperately for help. He just shook his head.

I wrestled myself from Gideon's grasp, blew out a loud, weary breath, and sat down on the steps with a thud. "What are Death Eathers going to be doing at a _bakery, _anyhow?"

"Not much, I imagine," Gideon said, tone roughly matching my own.

"Animating pastries and terrorizing gingerbread villages," Remus laughed.

"No, Remus, stop," I said, but Gideon and Fabian were laughing hysterically, like it was the funniest thing since Salazar's ripped pants.

"They probably do all their training on biscuits. _Ha, drown in tea, you little mudblood!_"

"I will baking you into a cake and then eat you! Bow down to me!"

"No, no, I can draw the Dark Mark, with _icing_—"

"I WILL SET FIRE TO YOUR HOMES WITH THIS CANDLE AND I WON'T BLOW IT OUT!"

The three boys were laughing so hard they were doubling over, wheezing and gasping for breath between body-shaking series of laughter. I just watched on, internally remarking that they were undeniably ridiculous. It was hard to deny, though, that they were _somewhat_ amusing. Endlessly pathetic, but still amusing.

They were so caught up in their joke that I was the only one to notice the silvery phoenix that had suddenly appeared, hovering in a powerful presence before us.

"Remus, look, what is it—" I shook hard on his arm to get his attention, and it took a good five or ten seconds before the three of them understood what it was I was talking about.

"Dumbledore," said Fabian, staring at the Patronus with a fierce gaze.

"Oh, no," murmured Gideon.

"But wha—"

I stopped, though, as the wispy blue figure began to emit a loud, deep and resonating voice that certainly resembled Dumbledore's but sounded so strangely altered and stiff.

"There has been a battle. Our Order members have fought Voldemort himself—James Potter, Frank and Alice Longbottom, Peter Pettigrew, Mundungus Fletcher, Sirius Black, Emmeline Vance, Lily Evans. They have fought him and his forces valiantly. We are done. It is over, for now. Evacuate positions immediately."

And then it was gone with the wind, almost like it'd never been there at all.

"Does that mean they're all right?" I asked at once, letting the foolish question fall from my mouth without restraint. I turned desperately to the other three. Remus didn't respond, seeming to be wondering the same thing. Gideon and Fabian did not respond, either, but their tragically dubious expressions were confirmation enough. My heart began pumping frantically.

The transition from joking to serious was a difficult one, and it seemed as if everyone was numb from shock. But we had to get moving. Luckily for us, Fabian was the one with the clear head. "All righ', you heard 'im. Let's go. We'll be apparatin' to headquarters. Quickly now."

The four of us joined hands without another word and the world began to spin around me in a nauseating and uncomfortable blur. The unknown fate of everyone, of Lily, of James, of Peter, of Sirius...

I tightened my grip around Remus's hand in fear that I might slip away. I forced myself to stop thinking about it all and watched the warped world morph around me and twist me through the middle, focusing on the painful throbbing in my head rather than in the rapid beat of my heart.

We were soldiers. Practically. I had to act like one.

_Keep it together, Gracie. Keep it together._

My feet touched the ground for a moment before I found myself falling face forward, stumbling to the ground, only to be caught by a whirlwind of color that pulled me from the top of my head and yanked low on my ankles...

This time when my feet touched the ground, I was so disoriented that I toppled over on the floor, hands sliding mercilessly against cold tile. My torso was completely twisted in a direly uncomfortable position, but I'd managed to avoid smacking my face on the floor, so there were things to be grateful for. I righted myself with a groan, and was slightly relieved when I found that I hadn't been the only one to fall.

"What happened?" asked Remus, rubbing the back of his head. It appeared as if he hadn't been lucky enough to avoid head-butting the floor.

"We received a message as soon as we arrived at headquarters to re-direct to St. Mungo's," Gideon answered. "There is a possibility that headquarters may have been infiltrated, and we need to be sure before we send everyone there."

Fabian grunted quite audibly as he stood, clearly unhappy that he had fallen so disgracefully.

"A message?"

"It was for Fabian and I," Gideon said. "You wouldn't have heard it. Legilimency. It was directed specifically to Fabian and me because we're technically responsible for you, as your mentors."

Remus and I shared a brief look of annoyance. Because we were still _children_, Gideon might as well have said.

My eyes trailed idly to our surroundings, where life was otherwise uninteresting, aside from the obnoxious _pop_s of people apparating in and out and the groans of the lifts. I watched a pair of Healers as they walked in conversation through the lobby and made their way onto one of the lifts, and only then did it occur to me to wonder why we were here of all places.

"Did someone get hurt?"

"Well, they fough' You-Know-Who, so I don' reckon everyone's too dapper," Fabian remarked sarcastically, pushing past Remus and I in the direction of the lifts. Gideon followed after, shrugging at me.

I braced myself to resist the urge to punch Fabian. My limits were certainly being pushed to the edge, but punching Fabian wasn't a good idea for a multitude of reasons, namely that his arms were practically the size of my head...

"Come on, Gracie," Remus urged calmly, taking my hand. "Let's go find the others."

"Do you think they're okay?" I asked softly.

"Yeah," he answered firmly. "Certain of it." But this time, he sounded slightly more doubtful, as if he was saying it rather for our joint benefit.

I let him lead me for a few blind moments. He followed after our _mentors_, who stopped only briefly to ask a Healer where certain Order members had been located. While we squeezed into a lift, I heard Gideon mention something about us being the last group back, because we had been assigned so far out of the way that the message had reached us much later than the rest...

I hadn't realized we were there until I heard her voice, shouting out to us over a loud murmur of people. It wasn't until I finally spotted her that my chest flooded with relief and I dragged Remus after to me to sprint to her.

"Lily!"

"Gracie, Remus! You're both all right! Oh, we hadn't heard from you, and we've all been waiting..."

"I heard about the battle—Merlin, I was worrying myself sick...how are you? Are you all right? Who got hurt?"

"I'm fine, only a couple of scratches. Everyone is fine, really, but ah..." Her gaze drifted slowly. "Mundungus, Alice, but they'll be all right... James snapped his wrist, but you know how that goes, they fixed it up in a jiffy, but..."

I found myself looking about desperately as well. The room was rather peculiar, with starch white walls that felt suffocating. There were a few cots scattered sparsely about the room, and I found Mundungus and Alice occupying them, surrounded by Order members in seemingly deep conversation.

James was not very far off, talking to Frank, who appeared to be trying to reassure him, looking him sternly in the eyes with a hand on his shoulder. James was just nodding, eyes glazed as if in a trance, dark hair matted wildly about his head.

"Where's Sirius?" Remus asked suddenly. "And Peter?"

The look on Lily's face made it painfully clear that she'd meant to say something else but hadn't had the courage to. "I—I don't know. I wanted to tell you at first, but I- No one knows where they are."

My heart sank.

"We were trying to fend off the Death Eaters, but they were so tall and so swift, and we were running and blocking and dodging and we just lost of sight of the both of them in the mess of it all. We were supposed to stick together, all four of us, but we—no one knows where they are, they're all looking—"

"Lily," I said, trying to stop the shaking of my hands, "Lily, stop blaming yourself." Frank was probably telling James the same thing, I realized. "Sirius probably just ran off, trying to be the hero." I swallowed down air so that I wouldn't start crying. "He does that, you know."

"I know. But, oh, Merlin..."

"They'll find them. Both of them," Remus encouraged firmly.

"Yeah." I nodded vigorously.

* * *

It was a half-hour of pacing and nervous laughing later that Edgar Bones came bursting into the room, screaming and shouting at the top of his lungs that Sirius Black had been found.

I'd gone so still from shock that at first I didn't move at all. Somehow, I met James's gaze in that instant. It seemed as if we were both desperately anxious to see him and the thought had temporarily connected us both, and Lily saw it. She gave me a light nudge.

"Go."

I tried not to run and reminded myself that there really was no reason to run, but the walking I was doing was certainly not one of leisure. James did all the talking and maneuvered us through the mass of healers and managed to sneak us into the intensive care facility where Sirius was being taken care of.

When we'd finally arrived and my eyes fell on a familiar face that did not currently look so familiar, I felt a great, uncomfortable stir in my chest.

"Oh, Sirius, you stupid prat!"

I was there in quite a shorter time than James and was by his side, looking upon his dirty, marred face that shone with a sheen of perspiration. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck before I could stop myself.

"Hello, you two," he greeted fondly, and when I let go of him, I spotted a goofy smile upon his features that certainly did not fit his condition. "How's the weather outside?"

"Oh, shut up," I sighed, rolling my eyes so that James could see. We both ended up laughing in near hysterics, so overcome with overwhelming relief that we were getting slap-happy.

"You look terrible, mate," James told him, grinning indistinctly.

"Bet I'm still better looking than you," said Sirius. "What do you say, Gracie?"

I frowned. "Well, I think James wins this one."

Sirius gaped in emphatic disbelief.

"Well, have you looked at yourself? You look like you changed ethnicities!"

James laughed wildly in the background. Sirius pouted. "To be fair, it's mostly dirt, and I haven't bathed yet." He paused, like he was thinking, and then leaned into me, whispering, "Do you think the healers will have to bathe me? I don't want them to get a look at all my _business_."

"Sirius!" I gasped, and James's laughter only escalated. "Could you be serious for one moment?"

He raised a brow.

"Oh, don't even say it. We are far past that terribly pathetic joke."

"All right, love, whatever you say." He leaned back into his bed casually, winking at me.

"What's wrong with you? Anything broken?" asked James suddenly. "Anything sprained? Gone completely? Brain damage? Splinch?"

"Haven't the foggiest. The healers haven't even really looked at me other than to confirm I'm not dying. And technically neither of you are supposed to be here," he said with a smirk.

I waved my hand at him, in a manner that seemed to just say, _Oh, whatever. _

"Well, what happened?" said James.

"My lovely cousin Bellatrix tossed her knife at me. She always has had a bit of an anger issue," he commented dryly.

"_What?_"

"Well, it's lucky she's got a doozy of an aim. I think she was planning on hitting me in the chest, but she got my leg instead."

I sighed and raised my hand to his forehead, brushing his hair out of his face so I could see his eyes properly. I twirled his dark hair around a finger idly and then lowered my hand to stroke the side of his face. I smiled sadly. "I love you, you know."

He smiled. "Fancy a kiss before they kick you out of here? Because I think I hear the healer coming in."

"Ew, but you're _filthy_ right now." I stuck my tongue out teasingly. "Plus, James is watching."

"Oi, Prongs, get out."

"Hey!" James protested. "I came in here to check on my _best mate_ because I was _genuinely concerned_ about you, and _this_ is how you _repay_ me?"

Turns out, the healer _was_ on her way in. She looked slightly miffed upon her discovery of James and me in the room, but collected herself rather well. "Excuse me, but I've got to check on your friend's injuries. I'll have to ask the two of you to leave for now."

James gave Sirius a look that said, "_Ha!_" before turning to scurry off out of the room. I leaned down to brush Sirius's lips with a quick, fleeting kiss, and then rushed off after James.

Lily and Remus were waiting outside the room when we returned. "How is he?" Lily asked.

"Good," I said.

"Quite good. Lousy arse," grunted James.

I just laughed, patting him on the back. The other two looked curious, but I just shook my head.

"Have they found Peter yet?" I asked suddenly.

Remus and Lily both visibly tensed.

"No," Remus said. "They haven't."

The relief that had filled me up with exuberating warmth suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a deep, unsettling sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Peter, poor little defenseless Peter...

And in our minds, wordlessly, we all mourned the death of Peter's friendship, though I hadn't realized what that feeling had been at all until many, many years later.

* * *

**Thank you all for not abandoning me. Much love. x **


	31. Stay With Me

**Chapter Thirty-One**

_Stay With Me_

Two days later, Peter was found.

He arrived at James's doorstep completely out of the blue, famished and pale and disoriented to the furthest degree. James had taken him in frantically, asking him what happened, how he'd returned, how he was feeling, but before Peter could produce any sort of answer, he'd fainted on the spot.

Several Order members were called to James's house after that, and it was figured that when Peter recovered enough, he'd be able to share something that might prove to be valuable information.

Well, that conclusion proved itself to be one-hundred percent wrong.

When he woke up and managed to scarf down some ration of food, he announced, somewhat bashfully, that he didn't really know much of what happened at all.

* * *

Months continued to pass, because that was the only things months really ever did. Things got better, and Peter warmed back into the routine of things, no longer flinching any time someone wielding a wand walked past him. (This was likely due in part to Mad-Eye's scolding; very frequently I heard him reminding Peter that the phrase was "constant _vigilance_," not "constant _cowardice_.") James and Sirius had resumed their normal school-boy days, and apparently - though no one would fill me in - they were both sharing a very big secret. I would hear them talking about it: "You got hurt just so you wouldn't have to follow through with our plan, didn't you?" "Mate, you and I both know you weren't ready anyways." I was dumber than Merlin's left shoe to ever think they'd actually _tell_ me about their secret. Remus was working at a café in Downtown Muggle London, which was due in part to Lily's masterful flirting with the manager and also of course in part to Remus's natural charm. I was forbidden to say anything about the part with Lily to anyone, though. Especially tossers named James Potter.

I, on the other hand, was somewhere in between, juggling insignificant Prophet work with rather significant Order work, while managing to survive the wrath of Loraine and Lily and the rib-crushing oxygen stealing bear hugs of Sirius all at the same time. That might sound rather bothersome, but in actuality, I couldn't remember ever living so fully in my life.

At times I was convinced that I was living in a dream; they were the moments that Sirius and I ran in circles around the kitchen laughing or the moments that Sirius would fall asleep mid-sentence with his head in my lap that I would just stop and ask myself, _when did all of this happen? _

And it was a funny sort of question, because along the way the lines had melded together, making it seem like this, us, was all I'd ever known.

Sirius fell beside me on the sofa, stumbling clumsily over the arm and nose-diving on top of me. I groaned and shoved him off, receiving an innocent glance in return. "Woops. Didn't see you there, love."

"Sure you didn't. You were just looking for an excuse to smother me."

He said nothing in reply, only winked and nestled himself in the spot beside me before burying his face in the paper he'd been holding in his hands. The title was loud with black letters: _TERROR CONTINUES, COMMUNITY IN PANIC. _

I sighed. "Sirius. I thought we banned the Prophet on the weekdays."

He lowered the paper so only a glimmer of his eyes was visible. "No we didn't," he said quickly. Guiltily.

"Yes, we did. Give me it."

"But I paid 2 sickles for this!"

"You can have it on Saturday."

"_Gracieee_, I just want to look.."

"Sirius! Give it here!"

I moved swiftly to grab it, but he waved it high above his head and laughed maniacally while I climbed on top of him to reach the paper. I tickled his sides in an attempt to get him to lower his arms, but he just writhed and squirmed and managed to keep me down with his free hand until I was breathless and edging on surrender.

In desperate retaliation, I jumped up again and flung my arms about wildly to grasp the paper.

"Mmf! Graeffie, ror suffocatimf mm—" he protested, words muffled by my shirt.

"What was that? Can't hear you," I teased gleefully, managing to catch a corner of the newspaper. I was reigning in victory when suddenly I let out a loud shriek and collapsed back onto the sofa. "Sirius! Did you just _bite_ me?"

He smiled smugly, momentarily fixing his hair and hugged the paper tight in his arms. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I raised my shirt slightly, exposing a set of pink teeth marks across my skin. "Look! You animal!"

"It wasn't _that_ hard."

I gave him a long stare.

"Oh, _fine_." He bent down and quickly kissed the fading marks. "Sorry, Gracie."

I laughed, catching my mouth with his in a kiss as he sat up. I ran my fingers along his neck and down his jaw, and then met his gaze. "Why do you _have_ to read that stupid paper, anyways?"

"You work for that _stupid_ paper, you know, I don't see why you're so _against_ it—"

"I'm not against it." I dropped my hands, falling back into the sofa. "I just don't think it's worth depressing yourself over because I know just what you're going to read first."

"But I wanted to read the comics." He grinned childishly.

"Oh, _right_."

He'd meant the missing persons column, more like. He read it almost every day, searching the ever-growing list of names for someone he or I knew. There were several people we'd known of from school that appeared on the lists, but after a while, we'd both agreed that checking it every day was just too disheartening.

Of course, I couldn't really blame him for his intense desire to know. But still. There needed to be limits.

I avoided it as much as I could at work. I didn't work in that department, thankfully, so it wasn't too difficult to avoid the more serious topics of late. I worked more with the nonsensical stories, like the ones about old ladies not knowing their husbands were actually just very intelligent house pets.

Speaking of which, Sirius _did_ happen to transform into a dog...

There was a loud rap on the window that woke me from my thoughts and I looked to it at once. "That's not _another_ paper, is it?"

He frowned. "No, this is today's paper." He waved it at me in proof.

I stared at him, but neither of us made a move to get up. After a while, I let out a weary exhale (which Sirius made a face at) and moved towards the window. "If this letter isn't for me, I'm going to hex your foot." He responded by saying I couldn't catch him if I tried. I unlatched the letter from the owl's out-stretched leg, and then it was gone, just a mousy brown speck in the sky. I peered down at the letter. "_Merlin_. It's for you, Sirius. Looks like you just lost a foot."

"I'm busy!" he cried immaturely, falling back on the sofa with the Prophet over his face. I _seriously_ doubted he could read it that way...

"Fine," I mumbled. "I'll just read your letter and pointedly invade your privacy."

"Be my guest."

"I _will_, thank you."

"You're very welcome."

I unfolded the letter from its envelope, making a self-righteous "_hmph_" sound as I did so. The script was long and ornate, letters curling into and around each other in pretty patterns. At that point, I felt a pang that told me quite clearly that I should not have been reading Sirius's letter, but I disregarded it. My mistake.

_My Dearest Cousin Sirius,_

_It's been far too long since we've last spoken and I very much hope that you have been well. I meant to send you a gift upon your graduation, but I couldn't think of anything to send you for the life of me. Ted's struggling with jobs lately, as am I, so there's not much money to go around. I hope that you'll forgive me for that..._

_That's not what I'm writing to you about, however, and I apologize for not writing under better circumstances. It's just that I believe this news necessary to be shared with you, and the other members of our family are not very likely to do so, despite however important it may be to you._

_You see, Sirius, it's about Regulus..._

The letter continued on from there, and when I had finished reading the rest, I felt my face drain of color. I wasn't sure just what expression to make, or even how to tell Sirius of what I'd read. It suddenly became painstakingly obvious that I shouldn't have read it, however much in jest it might have originally been. And there was a wisp of a memory from seventh year that drifted back to me, two pairs of light grey eyes that pierced through the dark...

When I met Sirius's eyes, those eyes with almost all the same lights, I found in them an equivalent expression, one of calculating decision and stark white features. Like we were thinking the same thing.

"You, ah—" I passed the letter to him. "You'll want to read this for yourself."

He pressed his lips together into a firm line, and passed me the paper. "You'll want to read this as well, I think."

We passed the next moments in silence, a silence that was so daunting it was nearly uncomfortable. I found the section of the paper he mentioned, where the list of missing people drawled on, accompanied by information and small photographs of the missing men and women smiling, laughing, living...

I skimmed through the names: _Melania Foster, Albert MacRory, Viola Fortecuen, Gytha Bonham, Daniel Frobisher, Grogan Matlock, Delia Punnet, Kenneth Howell..._

My stomach lurched violently as I reread the name. _Kenneth Howell_.

The picture provided was one I recognized from school, the Ravenclaw Quidditch team photograph, cropped out so only Kenneth himself in his proud blue robes and never fading smile was visible.

_Seventeen years old, last seen near his residence in Brighton, England on 19 November 1978._

It was only the 28th of November. Kenneth had been missing for over a week.

It was slow and painful to register. Suddenly images of his face came flooding through my mind: when he'd asked me to Hogsmeade for the first time, when he'd found out how I felt about Sirius, when he asked me to help him pick out a present for Ruth. I remembered the disgusting Pumpkin Fizz he made me try and his laugh that made any ounce of guilt I'd contained inconceivable. I remembered seeing him dance with Ruth at the Leaving Ball, and I remembered watching him, wondering if I'd ever see him again...

The sound of paper falling caught my attention, and I looked up at Sirius, who's wide eyed, blank expression hadn't moved an inch.

"My cousin Andromeda," Sirius said quietly. She had been the one to send him the letter. "She was always my favorite."

I stayed quiet.

"She'd be the one to tell me my brother was dead. Of course."

He'd said it bitterly, like he was testing the words on his tongue to see if they sounded right. They didn't, and he didn't seem to think so, either.

I wasn't thinking very much, only that things were very wrong. The look in Sirius's eyes was confused, lost. I took the newspaper and the letter and laid them on the table, far removed from us, and then nestled myself against Sirius's chest. He wrapped me in his arms, and we just sat there, saying nothing because, really, there wasn't much to say at all.

* * *

"You'll be just as good as the rest, cadet," Gideon said, patting me on the shoulder.

"Thanks," I murmured indistinctly, staring at the fading remnants of the spell I'd just cast.

"Mad-Eye's told me that today will be the last official day of training. Though, technically, I'll always be your mentor." He grinned with a degree of obnoxious pride that I could only roll my eyes to.

"One day, I will completely usurp you. Just you wait, Gideon."

"I'll be doing a lot of waiting, then, won't I?"

I stuck my tongue out at him.

"You're doing a fantastic job of convincing me of your maturity now. How about demonstrating a Disarming Spell, just for old time's sake?"

"You asked for it."

I struck the air with my wand, creating a great gasp of wind that blew past him and trembled a vase of flowers on the far wall. His stare travelled towards it, utterly perplexed.

"What was that? I said a Disarming—"

"_Expelliarmus!_"

His wand clinked to the floor before he'd even had time to turn his head. Gideon frowned and folded his arms across his chest. "I don't know whether or not to qualify that as cheating."

"Why would it be cheating?"

"You _distracted_ me."

"Sure I did. Winning duels involves a certain psychological component, doesn't it?"

He seemed to consider this, then answered, reluctantly, "I suppose so."

I knelt down and returned his wand to him. "Well, you surely can't fail me now, can you?"

"I technically can," he replied, taking his wand back with a haughty look. "But I won't. Go on now. I'll go talk to Mad-Eye and tell him I've passed you forward."

I smiled. "Thanks, Gideon."

"Don't look so genuine, all right? It's bugging me out."

* * *

There was something about _normalcy_ that we all strived for. Disregard the magic, the darkness, the war, the deaths, and normalcy was what we expected to find beyond all of it.

That was the thing, though; the fact of the matter was that, that magic, that darkness, all of it, it had become intertwined within us, binding itself so close to the inner workings of ourselves that without it, none of us were really certain where we stood. You could paint on a brave face, but nothing could rid you of the scars.

I noticed that Sirius was acting different that night. We were all clanking our glasses together in the dim light, laughing and cheerful, the six of us, celebrating an end to our Order training, when I first noticed Sirius avert his eyes. Not from me, but from everyone.

"I cannot _wait_ to see Mad-Eye's face when he finds out we were all passed through," James was saying, sighing blissfully. "It will be a moment I will have to engrave into my memory."

"Does he not like us?" Peter asked, and I tried to pretend it didn't come out like a squeak.

"Of course he does, Pete! Who doesn't?" James laughed loudly, clapping his friend on the shoulder.

"Sirius, you look devastated," Remus commented bluntly.

"Yeah, mate," James agreed with a nod. "Torn up because you won't be mentored by Mundungus anymore?"

"Absolutely," Sirius said dully, downing a gulp from his glass. I noticed there was something wrong almost immediately. "Devastated."

"Hey, Sirius..." I started, but when Sirius slammed his glass back down on the table, he was a lost cause.

"I'm going to head out," he announced, and stood to turn away. "I'll see you lot tomorrow."

I opened my mouth, but no words came out, and the others made sounds of protests following this, but he was gone and walking away before anything they'd said could sink in. I watched him disappear beyond the doors and stared after for a long moment, letting my mind wander, until I met four curious gazes.

"I think I'm going to go after him. He's upset. It's... family issues. You know."

"Lunch tomorrow still?" Lily asked, grasping my hand briefly.

"'Course. Wouldn't miss it."

"Okay then," she said, and smiled earnestly. "See you, Gracie."

The others waved, and I said a quick good-bye before bolting out of the place. I'd half expected Sirius to have apparated home already, but I found him outside the door, steadying himself against the wall, hanging his head and staring at his feet.

"Sirius?"

He turned slowly, meeting my eyes with uncharacteristic caution. "Hey."

"Hey yourself." A small smile found my features and I cupped his face in my hands, kissing him on the lips. "I'll take you home, okay?"

He only nodded, saying nothing, and I grasped his hand with my fingers and we twisted through the cold and landed in the depths of Sirius's flat, warmth radiating from the walls.

"I'll make tea," I said, tapping him on the head as he started to protest, but I skipped away to the kitchen before he could say a word. Within minutes I returned to Sirius with two cups of tea, where I found him sitting with his head back and his eyes closed. He looked kind of like an angel, I thought, but perhaps the tortured sort. I moved to his side, gently, so I wouldn't disturb him, and said, "Here you go."

He opened his eyes and turned his head to the side. "Thanks."

"Of course." I set my cup on the table and fell back in to his side.

He exhaled a heavy breath, looking to the ceiling, like he knew that I was asking but didn't want to form the actual question. So he answered anyway, and when he did, his words were warm and soothing, like melting snow. "I used to think sometimes that Reg and I would be okay again someday," he said, swallowing air. "I was mad at him, because his loyalty was with them, and never with me. But I was just _mad_... I didn't hate him like I did with the rest of my family. It was just like an over-extended argument. I told myself that we'd make up one day." Sirius paused, pressing his lips together. "And then we didn't."

He let out a small sigh, a sad smile finding his lips as he turned and met my eyes again. I sat up straighter, looking down at our interlaced hands briefly and then back to his eyes. It was funny to think of Sirius that way, as someone who had genuinely cared for his younger brother. It gave him more depth, I thought. How had I never seen it before? But they're never spoken at school, not that I could offhandedly recall. But there was _something_ of a bond between them, and I'd known that. I'd been thinking about it all day and hadn't said a word for fear of imposing on an inappropriate moment, but now it just appeared inevitable.

"There's something I have to tell you," I murmured.

He tilted his head to the side. "What?"

"It's not much," I said, "but it's something. Seventh year, the night when we found Mary MacDonald in the corridor, when you ended up in the hospital wing. I'd come to visit you, and it was really late, way past curfew, but I was coming to visit you anyway. When I got there, though, there was already someone there. And when he ran past me, I was so confused because I could have _sworn_ it was you – until I realized it was Regulus."

Sirius's eyes widened slightly. "He came to see me? But I don't remember him ever..."

I shook my head. "You were sleeping. I told him that he should stay, but he asked me not to tell you that he'd been there. I would have told you anyways, but I was just so flustered, that I, well..." Guiltiness momentarily passed over my face. "I forgot."

He didn't move. I wondered if he was upset with me, but the focused look in his eyes made it clear he wasn't upset, really, just thinking. And when he looked at me, I saw a boy that had been lost for far too long, a boy that had been drowning in blackness and any glimmer of light was a thousand suns to his eyes.

"Hey, Gracie?"

"Yeah, Sirius?"

"Will you stay with me tonight?"

I nodded with a small smile on my face, tracing his jaw with my fingers. "Sure." Because sometimes we were too busy fighting the war on the outside to feel the war raging on the inside before it had already won.

* * *

**This chapter's considerably short in comparison to other chapters, but there wasn't much real action for me to include in this one, so forgive me for that! Also, I'm on winter holiday at the moment, so I'll try to get another update out shortly after this. If I don't get one by Christmas, then Merry Christmas to you all! :) Crossing Boundaries is also reaching its one year anniversary soon.. Yay! Cookies and ice cream! And cupcakes and lots of sugary stuff...**

**Anyway, thanks for reading lovelies x **

**(By the way, in regard to those who asked me about it- I _was_ considering doing a re-write of this story, but I decided against it. If I ever do, it will be long, long after this is complete. Just so you know.)**


	32. My Mistake

_A/N: Crossing Boundaries has officially passed its one year mark today. Woohoo! Accomplishment.. maybe? Congratulate me? I mean, it's not a really a matter of accomplishment, just a matter of time... But whatever. Happy News Years to you all. Hope it's fantastic and... well... better than Gracie's. That's all I'll say. Enjoy! x_

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Two**

_My Mistake_

"Don't go," Sirius mumbled sleepily. "It's cold."

"We have to meet up with the Order in two hours," I reminded him patiently. "And in case you haven't noticed, I am in no fit shape to arrive there."

"Oh, blimey. We should have never joined. Rest in peace, oh beautiful sleep."

I laughed lazily and ran my fingers through his sleep-tousled dark hair. "I'm going to lunch with Lily this afternoon, but after that I'm all yours."

He grinned. "Sounds good to me. Find me before we leave. I'll be the sexy one, hard to miss."

I rolled my eyes, getting up. "It is _too_ early for your ego, Sirius."

"You love it."

* * *

As it turned out, there was a slight change of plans. The original plans had consisted of meeting at Order Headquarters and apparating to safe zones in pairs all throughout London. However, upon discovery that the trail we were following was false, a proper alteration had to be put in place.

"I hate trains," Sirius moaned.

The lead the Order was now following hinted that the Death Eaters were on board this muggle train to London, which was suspicious for a number of reasons. So instead of meeting them _in_ London, we were following them _to_ London. For all we knew, they were planning to blow up the train and all of its passengers, and if there was anything we could do to stop it, we would, by all means. And if not, we would continue on with the plan as discussed to infiltrate the Death Eater's numbers and dig up their motives. Their attempts to dissolve into the muggle community were increasing by the day, and if this wasn't concerning, I didn't know what was.

"Trains hate you," I told Sirius airily, as if Sirius banter was really desirable at that point in the day.

Remus threw up a hand. "Wait, wait. Let me predict how this will go. Sirius will proceed to make a childish gesture—such as say, sticking out his tongue, as this appears to be a favorite gesture of his—and Gracie will then follow by pointing out his relentless immaturity, which will only drive Sirius to attempt to redeem himself by some absurd means, inevitably only further proving Gracie's point—"

"Thanks, mate, really," Sirius interrupted, "you must have that _Inner Eye_ Trelawney's always going on about."

"Well," I said, smiling, "I don't think he's _too_ far off the mark, Sirius. No need to be sarcastic. Perhaps Seeing is Remus's undiscovered talent after all."

James yawned, stretching his arms over his head and nearly whacking Peter in the face. "I can't tell if you're all joking or dead serious. Anyhow, I reckon we're all feeling sentimental. I mean, when was the last time we were on a train together?"

"Graduation," Peter answered with a degree of pride in his face equivalent to that of answering a trick question.

Lily exhaled wearily, rubbing her temples. "I don't know about sentimental, but I am feeling a bout of motion sickness." She got to her feet. "I'm going to go find the lavatories, I'll be back."

"Lily," Sirius piped up suddenly, "if you happen to pass the trolley lady, would you find fetching a batch of treacle fudge? I'll give you the money—"

She gave him a hard look. "Don't be lazy, honestly, Sirius. Get it yourself."

When she closed the compartment door, James combated Sirius with a counter look. "Yeah, get it yourself, Padfoot."

Sirius sunk dejectedly in his seat before sighing with resignation and pulling himself to his feet. Just as he made a move for the door, however, it once again slid open and he cried, "Oh, Lily! I knew you couldn't possibly be that—"

"Sorry?"

A stern-faced woman with straight dark hair stood in the door, with a facial expression equal to that of loathing. The five of us seemed to subconsciously recede farther into the compartment away from her presence.

"Oh, Vance, it's only you." Sirius frowned.

Emmeline Vance stood straighter, eyes flitting past Sirius's. It was common knowledge that Emmeline was not one to be messed with. Apparently, in the last mission, Lily, James, Sirius and Peter had had a particularly messy run-in with her. That awkward stiffness was then currently so visible it was practically a blinking neon sign.

"Well, I'm pleased to see you as well, Black," Emmeline continued, disregarding him quickly, "I've just come to tell you all that it has been confirmed that there are in fact Death Eaters on board with us this morning, and it would be in your best interest if you all remained situated. Seeing as the Death Eaters are familiar with most of your faces, exposure could sabotage the mission entirely." She returned her gaze to Sirius. "And we wouldn't want that, would we?"

He grinned. "'Course not."

"Oh, but... Lily," Remus said slowly, brow furrowed.

"Oh, no," James muttered.

"What about Lily?" Emmeline inquired sharply.

"She went to find the lavatory—"

"I'll go find her," I announced at once, only to be cut down instantly by Emmeline's glare.

"There are about a dozen potential ways this mission could go dastardly wrong. Let's not add to that. Stay put unless otherwise informed." Upon delivering this message, she turned for the door and slammed it behind her, disappearing from sight and leaving an empty silence in the compartment behind her.

Sirius chuckled. "Well, she's a rough one."

"Yeah, way to get us all off on the wrong note." I glared.

"That is not of my sole doing. James had a large part in it. Notice how he didn't say a _word_ to her?"

"I did, too." He squirmed. "Sort of."

Sirius crossed his arms, smirking. "Let's just say that I bet she checks her seat before she sits now."

My eyes widened, while Peter broke out into high-pitched laughter beside me. "What, did you put a tack in her seat? That's _so_ juvenile, Sirius…"

"Actually, Gracie, love, it was a whoopee cushion." He said it with such a dignified posture, and if you hadn't heard what he'd said, you might have thought he was declaring himself the King of England.

"You mean—"

"Yes, she sat down and unleashed a terror of violent and explosive farts."

Remus had joined Peter in his fit of laughter, and James sat up straighter. "If you must know, it was Lily that told us the charm that enchanted it to sound so realistic and… lengthy."

I slapped myself in the face and left my hand there so I wouldn't have to look at the four of them.

"What did she _do_ to you?" Remus asked incredulously, because oh-so-conveniently, he and I were the only ones that hadn't been there. "By the looks of that woman, I would've thought she'd rip you all apart."

"Oh, we obviously said we had nothing to do with it. We were very convincing." Sirius grinned. "I suppose Voldemort showing up afterwards helped in terms of a distraction, though." He looked sheepishly towards James and shrugged.

I groaned. "Shut up, this is painful to listen to."

Sirius chuckled, and I felt him come near to me, prying my hands from my face. "What's wrong, babe?" He kissed my lips, smiling wickedly. "Come on, we were just having fun is all."

I sighed, giving him a hard look before I involuntarily broke into a slow smile. "Fine. But you're all morons, that's for sure. Associating with the lot of you is tainting my precious reputation."

"You'd have done that on your own, anyway. Don't thank us." He winked.

James released a sound like a dying animal. "Could you both quit the flirt fest? I'm going to vomit all over the floor."

Sirius sighed wearily, and said to me under his breath, "But _we've_ had to endure his shameless flirting with Lily for seven years."

I laughed and gave James the best over-enthusiastic smile I could summon.

"Oh, speaking of Lily, Prongs," Sirius said, nodding in James's direction, "how'd that thing go?"

He frowned. "Not well. I was going to try again this morning, but she's currently missing in action, and that is not helping things at all."

I raised my brows curiously, and Remus and Peter stirred as well. "What _things_?"

"Nothing." Sirius smiled cheekily.

"I'm feeling kind of antsy. I was completely confident last week, but prolonging it like this is making me nervous. Is that normal?" James asked, forehead creased with worry.

Sirius shrugged. "I dunno, I haven't done it before, have I?"

Looking quite uncomfortable, Remus cleared his throat loudly. "Are you both seriously talking about sex? Because that's pretty tactless, considering your company…"

"Oh, my God! Really? Seriously?" I covered my face with both hands, skin flushed red hot.

James began to laugh hysterically, and Sirius made a discontented noise. "What do you mean? I said I _hadn't_ done it, so I couldn't possibly—"

"Sirius! Oh my God! Shut up!" I leaped out of my seat and onto his lap, covering his mouth with my hand. The boys were all laughing so hard they sounded like dying engines, James in particular. Sirius only smiled shyly and I just huffed and swat him on top of the head.

The door groaned open then, and my head swiveled instinctively in its direction. I almost started to call Lily's name when the red-haired man's face slowly came into recognition.

Fabian raised a brow at Sirius and me. "What's goin' on in here?"

"Oh, nothing," I sighed, chorused by the boys' snickers. I climbed off of Sirius and looked expectantly towards the Prewett twin. "What's up?"

"Train's gonna be stoppin' in a minute or two. Make sure tha' when it does, you lot are in the front of the crowd. No lingering 'bout. Head straight off. Meet at Platform Fifteen."

"Got it." I nodded.

"Yep. Thanks, Prewett."

"No problem, Potter. Platform Fifteen in two minutes. See you lot then."

"See you."

When he'd closed the door, we all exchanged frantic looks. James voiced the question on all of our minds: "Where the _hell_ is Lily?"

"I'll go," I volunteered, and then muttered, "and I'll try to avoid Emmeline Vance, if at all possible."

Sirius protested to the look I directed his way, "Don't glare at me, Gracie. It was James and Lily's fault, too."

"I wasn't glaring. It was a look of endearment."

James choked on a laugh.

I gave him a similar look. "Don't say it. I'm going to find _your_ girlfriend, remember."

He smiled sweetly. "Wasn't saying anything, Gracie."

"I know you weren't." I got to my feet. "I'll be back soon. Hopefully."

On my way in what I reckoned was the direction of the lavatories, I found myself glancing absentmindedly through the compartments as I passed. I was near the end of the long aisle and passed countless empty compartments until I noticed one that was occupied to its brim. I had started to move past it until my eyes fell upon a familiar face.

_That face—_where had I seen it before? I was immobilized at once, standing there, gawking like an idiot, until it occurred to me.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

I jumped out of sight as fast as I could, pressing my back against the wall. I didn't know his name, but the face was frighteningly familiar, a face that I'd seen revealed behind a dark, ghastly mask on the day that the muggle village in Dufftown had been raided on Easter.

Death Eaters. Here, feasible feet away from me.

I closed my eyes for a brief moment and let fear consume me for five whole seconds. Everything suddenly seemed to cave in around me, and the pressure of the situation was heightened tenfold; my blood was pulsing like liquid electricity, and the only thing I could think was, _shit, shit, shit, holy shit…_

But soon enough those five seconds were over and I apologized to my mental faculties for the poor choice of freak-out language. I reminded myself that being afraid at this point was only lethal, for me and the Order and very specifically all of the muggles on board the train. And the _point_ of all of this was to ensure the very opposite, so I forced myself to get it together and collected the deepest breath I'd ever taken in my life.

I leaned forward slowly, peering in as inconspicuously as I could manage. I was determined to at least collect a head-count, or something valuable, anything at all. My head throbbed in particular at the thought that perhaps Voldemort was on board with them, and if that was true, then I was in deep, _deep_—

"Why are you spying?"

A breathy squeal escaped my lips before I could stop it, and with great tender force, a hand was clamped over my mouth to prevent further sound. I found myself staring wide-eyed at a serious faced Lily Evans, heart pumping so loudly I thought I might faint.

She released me, raising a finger to her lips, and I found myself wondering where on earth she'd gotten so much strength. "Let's go," she mouthed, yanking not very gently on my wrist and pulling me away from the scene. When we'd gotten a safe distance away, she muttered, "What were you _thinking_?"

"I…well," I said, fumbling for words, "I wasn't, really."

"Evidently," she grumbled. The train grinded to a stop beneath us.

"Do you—do you know who that man was, by the door? The one with the dark hair…"

"Rodolphus Lestrange," she answered automatically, as if she hadn't even thought about it. "How do you not know him? He's on practically every wanted poster in Britain. He's quite an infamous man."

There was something about her tone that was very peculiar, and I decided that I did not like it at all. There was a foreign expression masking her face, making her nearly unrecognizable. Desperate to change the subject, I asked, "Where were you for so long?"

"The loo. I told you that, didn't I?"

"Yeah." I blinked. "Do you feel all right now?"

"Peachy."

"I mean, what was wrong in the first place?"

"Just a headache."

"I thought you said you had motion sickness?"

She eyed me suspiciously. "If you know what I said, why are you asking me?"

I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. She kept on walking, no longer bothering to make sure I kept up. I rushed after her, huffing irritably. "We're to get off right away… We want to avoid the… You know."

"Seems like you were doing a fabulous job of that."

"Look, Lily, I don't know what's wrong with you, but—"

We were on the steps on the way off the train when she spun on her heel and smiled wide, laughing. "I'm sorry, Grace, really, I've just been in and out of a sour mood all day. Please forgive me."

_She seriously just called me Grace…_

"Um, it's fine. Don't worry about it," I said, looking about for Platform Fifteen hurriedly so I could get away from the psychopathic woman. I tried reasoning that perhaps she just was in a bad mood. PMSing or something. And Grace was my name, after all. It didn't matter that she never called me it—it was just one syllable. "There they are."

"Where?"

I pointed to the platform. "Looks like they're waiting up for us."

"Well, what are _we_ waiting for?"

And then she left me again. I followed close behind but suddenly had no desire to be too close to her. When we arrived in front of the group, Sirius met my gaze with furrowed brows. _What's wrong?_ he mouthed.

I shook my head, because I really had no idea.

"Gracie, Lily—thanks for finally showing up," Gideon said, grinning crookedly at me. I just rolled my eyes, attempting to show that I was just as amused as he was, but I crossed my arms and watched Lily from my peripheral vision. James had flocked to her, whispering things with an evident look of concern in his expression. I heard her giggling as she leant up and kissed him, silencing whatever else he had to say.

Well, fine, _that_ behavior was acceptable…

I supposed I'd just annoyed her. It was a very dumb move to think that I could spy on Death Eaters and come out unscathed. Luckily I'd had Lily to pull me away at the last moment. Still, she didn't have to be so abusive about it…

Mad-Eye called for everyone's attention. "Now that everyone's here, we'll discuss tactics. Those of you who have been spoken to already, please disperse at once."

Several people broke off into pairs and began walking away from the group in separate directions, greatly reducing the number grouped together. It appeared as if only the youngest remained, the boys, Lily, Frank and Alice, Marlene, Edgar and I.

"We're pairing strengths, so Potter, you'll go with Black. Lupin, with Pettigrew. Longbottoms, you'll remain together. McKinnon, with Bones. And Evans with Hachette."

_Oh, perfect. So much for avoiding the psychopathic woman._

I chided myself internally. It was _Lily_. She was just in a sour mood. It would be okay.

Mad-Eye proceeded to assign us to our positions, giving us our respective orders and leading us away. Far too soon, Lily and I were walking away alone, on our way to a coffee shop a short distance from the station. I recited the orders in my head so I wouldn't have to speak to Lily right away: _Blend in. Watch for suspicious activity. If anything suspicious occurs, get ready to defend yourselves and the civilians._

Well, it certainly wasn't much, but it did seem a deal more exciting than the bakery I'd been assigned to watch last time.

"So," Lily said, shooting me a friendly side-ways glance, "you excited?"

I sighed away the feeling that I was upset with her and shrugged. "I dunno. Are you? I feel like I've been assigned to some far corner again, excluded from all the actual excitement."

She nodded in understanding, and said, "Well, I'm excited."

"Was it scary? Fighting You-Know-Who?"

I felt kind of foolish asking it and I almost regretted it, thinking she'd snap again and call me out for my cowardice, but she didn't, only nodded again. "Frightening as hell. He's more powerful than you know."

"Oh." I bit my lip, pondering on that.

Bells rung as we pushed through the door to the coffee shop. We were seated and ordered plain coffees. Lily downed hers readily, acting as if she'd been longing for it all day. I gave her an odd look, but she didn't seem to notice. There was that look in her eyes again, that glazed over gaze, like she had no filter and was just running off of pure instinct.

"So, what did I miss while I was gone? Back on the train?"

The increased friendliness in her expression was weird. I was _very_ suspicious.

Somehow, though, I forced myself to laugh, attempting to resume normal conditions. "You didn't miss anything good. The boys were being highly…" I paused. "Suspicious." Well, wasn't that a coincidental repetition of adjectives?

"What were they doing?"

"James and Sirius have this secret between them, and they won't tell anyone. Not even Remus or Peter. It was very frustrating."

"I bet it was." She glanced over my shoulder, in the direction of the window, and seemed to tense. "Hey," she said slowly, getting to her feet. "Come with me?"

"Where?" I glanced out the window quickly, but I didn't see anything too curious. "Was there someone out there?"

"Oh, no," she said, smiling, some feeble attempt at reassurance. "I've just got to use the bathroom. It's probably better if we stay close together, you know?"

"Okay, sure," I said, standing. We walked together to the back of the shop, where Lily pulled me past the bathrooms and instead towards the back room, where the sign clearly read _Employees Only_. "Lily, what are you—"

But an employee got to us before I could finish, a boy probably only a few years older than us, brown eyes deep as an abyss. And I don't know why I noticed that about him, only that I knew something terrible was about to happen. "Excuse me, ladies, you're not allowed back there," he was saying, and something was wrong, because one moment he was standing straight up with those bright eyes, and the next he was falling lifelessly to the ground.

I gasped, as did the employees around him, and in a flash of a moment I saw Lily with her wand drawn. My eyes widened. "_Lily!_ Was that—?"

She yanked hard on my arm, pulling me from the chaos she'd created and into the security of the back room. My stomach lurched when the door revealed another employee, too busy making drinks that she didn't even look up. I stared as Lily cast a spell at the door, lighting the edges and sending a reverberating tremble throughout the frame.

_Did she just bind it shut…? _

I wasn't thinking straight. I had no idea what was going on. This made no sense. This was Lily, for Merlin's sake, _Lily Evans_, prefect and Head Girl, top of our class, star student, role model, prized child…

But when she pointed her wand towards the girl, I did the same without even thinking and beat her to it.

"_Protego!_"

This caused the girl to look up, and her eyes were wide and perplexed at the sight of us. She started to say something, but I was too distracted by the look in Lily's eyes.

It was like death.

"You're just doing _all_ the wrong things today, aren't you?"

And before I could do anything else, she'd aimed her wand at me and with a blast of hot, wild color, I was flying towards the wall. There was a scream that rang out, and I wasn't one hundred percent whose it was. My head was ringing so loudly and the scream echoed through it so that everything I was screamed. It overcame all of my senses, ripping through me, and it felt like forever until the black cleared before my eyes.

Lily was standing over me, twirling a flash of metal in her hands. I blinked slowly, focusing. A knife. Where the hell had she gotten a _knife_…

"We can do this one of two ways. The first way, you shut up and let me do what I need to. The second, and probably the less desirable way, you run your mouth and I deal with you accordingly." She paused, eyeing her knife like it was some bloody treasure. "So much more intimidating than a little stick, don't you think?"

Green eyes glinting like _Avada Kedavra_, lips turned menacingly.

I groaned, pulling myself up from the remains of the shelf that I had crashed into. The girl from moments earlier lay crumpled on the ground, unmoving. I moved to dash to her, but the pain in my head made my movements sluggish and Lily grabbed me before I could make it.

"Well, I forgot to mention the other part. If you try any heroic little rescue, I'll have to deal with that as well."

I glared at her, clenching my jaw.

"But your chance is up. Sorry."

She smiled, eyes free of any trace of remorse, and lunged at me with the knife.


	33. When Panic Sets In

From last chapter:_ She smiled, eyes free of any trace of remorse, and lunged at me with the knife._

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Three**

_When Panic Sets In_

It was a lucky thing that most witches were not adept in the field of wielding anything other than magical wooden sticks.

"_Stupefy!_"

It was a luckier thing that Lily had underestimated my ability to pull out my wand and strike her with it before she could jam that pretty little knife into my neck. Her green eyes were wide as saucers as she flew backwards from me, moving in what seemed to be slow motion, like a long, drawn out, painful crack.

When she collapsed to the ground in a heap of limbs, I shut my eyes tightly and took several consecutive deep breaths. _She's fine, she's fine, _I recited in my head as I scurried to her unconscious body and retrieved her weapons. I felt nearly guilty pocketing the knife, and inconceivably one hundred percent guilty taking her wand, but what was I supposed to do, wait till she woke up to attack me again? She'd just have to attack me with her fingernails if that was the case.

_Besides_, I told myself as I rushed to the other girl and ignored that awful throbbing pang in my chest, _she attacked me first. And hers hurt a hell of a lot more... _In all actuality, I was trying desperately to focus on something other than myself, because I was afraid that if I took a moment to assess my physical pain, I might not be able to continue. And that route was a definite no-go.

I leaned down next to the girl—Sadie, her name tag said—and gasped aloud in relief when I found a pulse. For a very brief moment, my head was clear and my racing heart took a breather, leaving me in quiet momentary bliss. Sadie looked like she'd just fallen asleep, a peaceful expression for a peaceful atmosphere.

But, the feeling soon came to an end as all good things did eventually, and soon enough the sound of distant screaming, crashing and general calamity brought me back to the real world. I would have to figure out what to do, on my own, courtesy of Lily, and soon. I got to my feet in a rush, pushing back the hair from my face and pointedly ignoring the blood I felt on my temple.

_If only wizards had something equivalent to a telephone. Really, you'd think they'd have thought that through already... _

I thought of the Patronus Dumbledore had sent only weeks earlier, the brilliant Phoenix carrying the message that the battle had been fought and was over. Surely it couldn't be _that_ difficult.

I took another deep breath, because I quite honestly could not get enough oxygen in my lungs, and closed my eyes.

In my mind, I was six years old, five years before I'd burned our house in Cheshire down, a long five years before where nothing magical existed at all. I was a year older than all of the other children in my class on my first day of school. We'd read, colored, sang, and it was okay, really, this school thing, but I hadn't known how much I missed my mother until I was running out of the school's doors at the end of the day and had leapt into her arms. She held me tight, my face buried in her shirt where I couldn't see a thing and could scarcely breathe, but it was okay because I could listen to the sound of her heartbeat and I knew for certain she was there.

She was stroking my hair, an airy laugh on her lips. "Well, I'll have you know I missed you quite a lot today. And to celebrate your first day of school, I think we should go out and get ice cream, just you and me. How's that sound, love?"

When I readily agreed, she kissed the top of my head and took my hand as we walked to the car. I skipped, singing a song I'd learned at school that morning, feeling whole and wonderful and bright.

"_Expecto Patronum!_"

The warmth rushed outwards from my fingertips, materializing itself before me in the shape of a silver cat. I stared after it longingly, like I'd just expelled all the happiness I had in my life, dwelling in a cold, desolate feeling. I watched it bounce and spin about happily for a moment and smiled fondly before focusing on James and Sirius, because even though I knew they'd panic, I trusted their insane, irrational compulsions to get Lily and me out of this safely.

I thought about the train station, where the two were assigned. Just for good measure, I said the address aloud as well before delivering the message, "The coffee shop's under attack and we need you. Please come as quickly as possible."

I watched the glimmering figure disappear into the distance and forced myself to continue on and not dwell in the sudden feeling of loneliness that overwhelmed me. Locked in a room with two unconscious girls. It _could_ get drearier, but not by much.

It was official. I was in panic mode.

Trying to calm my hyperventilating, I felt for Lily's knife and wand in my sweater pocket, just to remind myself that they were there with me and not with Miss Sleeping Psychopathic Woman on the floor. They were. I checked to see that both girls were still out like lights, and upon confirming, I approached the forebodingly magically locked door.

It was an unfortunate fact that Lily was the brilliant witch of the two of us.

I briefly closed my eyes, summoning all the spells I could think of. "_Alohomora_." I tried the handle. No luck. "_Finite Incantem_." When I tried again, the lock released and the door eased open.

"Well, that was easier than I thought it'd be," I announced aloud to myself, frowning in confusion. I supposed the spell had just been meant to keep muggles out, which didn't make sense. I took a breath and rushed back over to Sadie before I could dwell in the oddities that were this entire morning.

With Sadie's unconscious body over my shoulder (I internally thanked First Year Charms class for what had once been a tiresome week lecture on the feather-weight charm), I crawled back into the coffee shop, avoiding the catastrophe that had enveloped the place. Behind the counter were three employees, huddled and hushed for safety in front of a door that must have been locked. Two were clutching an unconscious boy, the boy from earlier that had collapsed for no obvious reason. (Though, I knew better. When you lived in a world of magic, there was no such thing as _no reason_.)

I put a finger to my lips as I slowly approached them.

"What happened to Sadie?" one of them whispered despite my warning to be quiet. _Muggles_.

"She'll be okay," I said, placing her down and brushing the hair out of her eyes. I tapped her shoulder with my wand, ignoring the raised murmurs. When I moved and did the same to the boy the other two were holding, they said nothing, only watched in silent wonder. I read that his name was Brandon before I moved back to Sadie. She stirred, blonde hair obstinately falling back into her face.

"Is she hurt?"

She groaned in response and I only shook my head. Her eyes flickered open, searching the ceiling and then gradually lowering to the ground, meeting my gaze. She flinched backwards and then paused, as if she was afraid but didn't know if she should be.

I bit my lip and then smiled. "Sadie, I know you're probably very confused right now. But I need you to do me a favor, okay?"

She didn't give me a response at first, only pulled herself up from the ground and briefly glanced to the others, particularly the boy that was still coming to, looking wary. The others were whispering to Brandon, what I assumed to be words of assurance. Then Sadie finally asked, "What is it?"

"I'm going to open this door for you." I gestured to it, right above the other three's heads. "And then all four of you are going to run and get as far away from here as you can." They all met eyes again, looking between each other and then back to me. "Okay?" I asked.

"Okay," Sadie answered softly.

"Okay." I nodded, mostly for my own sake, and rose to my feet. When I drew my wand this time, the other three immediately scurried away from the door because by this point they most definitely knew what these silly little wooden sticks were capable of. I blasted the door open, shards of glass scattering away into the open air with a trembling crash. I waved them through the door, mouthing, "_Go._"

They got the message quickly and they were gone before I knew it, grabbing each other's hands and disappearing down an alleyway. For a moment I allowed myself to be hopeful. If I could just get everyone out of here, then this wouldn't be a big deal at all—

"And where did _you_ come from, girlie?"

A warm rush flooded my veins as I turned, meeting a pair of deep-set yellow eyes. A startled breath involuntarily escaped my lips and I shuffled backwards, clutching my wand with a white-knuckle grip.

"Please don't go after them," I begged at once, thinking of their wide, scared eyes, their instant, almost child-like trust.

His reply was short. "Not interested in them."

For some reason, the answer did not put me at ease, but for an entirely different reason. He inched his foot forward, grinning like he was about to do something terrible, a row of pointed teeth visible. I raised my wand higher so he remembered it was there, but he didn't seem to care a thing about it. His hand curled mid-air as if he were caressing something, his long, yellowing nails curling into his rough palm. He swept in behind me and I could feel his ragged breath rebounding off of my skin as he dragged his fingers down my hair.

In an instant I slapped him away, and for a moment he was caught in surprise, allowing me to put a foot of distance between us. I was panting for breath, panicked and irrational. "Touch me again and you'll regret it," I warned, unexpectedly furious.

He whistled, shaking his head in disbelief. "Don't even know who I am, do ya, girlie? How rude. Your parents never teach you manners?"

"They taught me plenty," I spat.

"I suppose I haven't been too tactful, either. I'll let it slide. Let's start over, shall we?" He was grinning again, a grin that turned my insides and made me want to squeeze my eyes shut so tightly it hurt. There was something animalistic about him that made me subconsciously shrink away. He stuck his hand out and bowed his head slightly, feigning refinement. "Fenrir Greyback."

I restrained myself from outwardly scowling or shuddering and lied curtly, "Bertha Jorkins." I glanced quickly behind him, attempting to search for a sign of Sirius or James. "Now, Mr. Greyback, if you'd kindly excuse me…"

"'Scuse me. It's only polite to shake."

"I don't think you—" His eyes were glued on mine, lips curling devilishly, and suddenly his outstretched hand was too threatening of a gesture that I had to retaliate. I breathed in quickly, like all the air was leaving the room too quickly, and pointed my wand in a fluster, shouting, "_Reducto!_"

Sound erupted from my wand and a giant blast of light flew towards Greyback. His posture crumpled as if he'd been struck and he groaned loudly, like a dog whining in pain. I stared without comprehension, knowing full and well that I should bolt, make way for the others as fast as I could. I'd just begun to shift my weight into a sprint when he raised his head, smirking with repulsive pride. I noticed him grazing his fingers across a hole in his robes by his calf, where my spell had hit him.

His voice was a vicious purr. "You missed, girlie."

When he launched himself towards me, this time I was completely caught off guard and I hadn't known he had hit me at all until the world flashed white beneath my eyelids and the pain of claws, or teeth, I didn't know, ripping into my skin blacked out the rest of it. My wand was pressed awkwardly beneath the weight of his body on mine, and no scream I produced could free me of the searing pain that lapped down my spine like fire.

In a moment it was all gone and I grabbed desperately for my wand, gasping out of control. James was there and Greyback was on the ground in front of him. Things were beginning to blur together. There was a slight pressure on my shoulder, and I turned to see Sirius before he gathered me into his arms, rocking me back and forth gently. He smelled like ash and debris, like a true man of war. I didn't really like the smell.

"Oh, Merlin, Gracie," he murmured into my hair, "_Oh_, Merlin, you're bleeding... What happened? He didn't... did he? He didn't..."

I suspected that I was disoriented because he either wasn't making sense or I just wasn't understanding him. I blinked, pushing against his chest. "We have to go get Lily," I told him with force.

His eyes widened slightly. "Where is she? What happened?"

I didn't provide him with a verbal response and instead grasped his hand, scurrying to the door I'd opened only minutes earlier, and pulled him through it, where the unconscious body of Lily lay. I felt a twinge of guilt leaving James behind with Greyback, but I didn't know what would happen if I left Lily alone, and who knew what James would do if he saw her like this?...

In a moment I was breathing hard again, trying to recollect my thoughts and, more importantly, my control. It all came crashing back suddenly and violently, and I briefly closed my eyes as images flooded my mind.

"What happened to her?"

I told him. I told him about the train, the behavior when we got into the coffee shop, the comment about You-Know-Who, the attacks. He stared blankly as I unleashed it on him, looking at Lily in utter disbelief.

"Do you think it was Polyjuice or something?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. I don't know how to tell. The only thing I can think of it being otherwise is the Imperius curse, unless it's a milder bewitching hex. But since when are Death Eaters ever mild?"

"Yeah. I guess it doesn't matter, until whatever it is wears off." He scratched the back of his neck. "Did you take her wand?"

"Yep." I drew the knife Lily had lunged at me with and held it in the air, regarding it with estranged reproach. "And this."

Sirius's eyes went wide. "No..." He stepped closer, marveling it. "Can I see that?"

"Um, sure. Go ahead."

"It's just…" His gaze drifted back to Lily, shoulders slouching. He groaned. "Got a good idea of who it is. Which makes me highly doubtful it's Polyjuice. What kind of Death Eater would pass up the chance to have someone else do their dirty work, right?"

"Uh, not following," I said, as I watched him summon a chair from the back corner and walk over to Lily.

"Doesn't matter. Don't worry about it." Pointing his wand towards her limp body, he slowly lifted her into the chair. Her head was awkwardly bent over the side of the chair, a crushed, painful expression overcoming her face.

I felt that guilty pang in my chest again as I watched her. Desperate to rid of it, I asked, "So, if it's the Imperius Curse then, when does it wear off?"

He was observing Lily just as I was, looking indecisive, and answered without breaking his gaze from her. "When the wizard or witch lifts the spell, I guess. And I can't imagine a Death Eater just letting her run free when they've got a wonderful insight into the Order, can you?"

"No," I said as he cast another spell. My eyes widened in alarm as ropes sprang out of his wand, curling around Lily without repent. "What are you doing?"

"Tying her up," he replied nonchalantly. At first he seemed not to notice my concern, but after a moment he glanced towards me, brow furrowed. "What?"

"Why? It's Lily!"

He sighed, briefly pulling at one of the ropes around Lily's torso and then walking back towards me, looking me deep in the eyes. "Could we please remember that she just tried to kill you?"

"I know, but Sirius..."

"She'll be fine. But if we don't know when the curse will be lifted then there's no way in hell we can trust her until it is." He paused, gauging my expression, waiting for my acceptance. "Okay?"

I nodded, albeit grudgingly.

"We'll leave her here until we can figure out what to do with her. An hour, tops. Stop looking so worried. She's an evil sorceress right now, remember?" He grinned slightly, poking me in the side, desperate to cheer me up. In a second his expression changed entirely however, and he grazed a hand down my jacket, eyes focusing on an area I hadn't even had the strength to think about yet. "That looks really bad. What... do you know what happened exactly?"

I still hadn't taken a moment to look down. "No. I'm fine. It doesn't hurt. It's dry, mostly, probably."

The look he gave me told me that I was a downright liar. Perhaps I was, but he grasped my hand anyway, leading me out of the room. I squeezed his fingers and nodded, giving him a smile to let him know that I had faith that everything would turn out all right.

The last part was a lie, too, but he didn't have to know that. That was out of his control.

And then, as it turned out, things only proceeded to get worse.

As we turned, jets of light sprang toward us and our wands came flying out of our hands. My eyes fell first to the woman standing at the door, standing in silence with a dark-haired boy under her arm, wand held firmly against his neck. Her hair spilled over her shoulders in black, distressed curls, and when she smiled, her dark, blood-red lips curled back from her teeth, making her look not only frightening but ravenous.

"Hello, Siri, dear."

Behind her were three men, all taller than her with dark features and grey shadows tracing their jaw lines. Sirius visibly winced as the woman dug the wand deeper into James's skin. "Hello, cousin," he responded, voice unnaturally cool.

I braced myself. Yes, leaving James behind had definitely been a bad idea.

"What are you doing with James there?" Sirius asked, tapping his wand against his fingers in a nonchalant attempt.

She grinned, tilting her head to the side. "Delivering."

My gaze drifted to the floor and I grumbled under my breath, "This is a very inconvenient situation..."

"And why does that require you holding your wand to his throat?" Sirius asked patiently.

"Leverage," she answered simply. "If you willingly come with us, there'll be no harm done to the boy."

"And what about Lily?" He gestured to her. "Care to stop playing games with her head, Bellatrix?"

I internally gasped at the sudden connection; the infamous name now had a face.

The woman laughed wildly in response. "I wouldn't hesitate to snap her neck. Or hers." She glanced at me. "But it's not my choice, is it? You've been called to a meeting, cousin dearest. I've been told to keep you safe and..." She brushed James's cheek with her fingers. "Whole. Unless of course you have _other_ ideas on how to spend our afternoon together."

"We'll go with you," I said suddenly. Sirius's head snapped towards me in alarm, but my gaze was unwavering. After a moment he turned away, looking torn, but nodded his head anyway.

"Good." She lowered her wand from James's neck and thrust him towards one of the tall men, who grabbed hold of him within an instant. "I'll take the girl. She and I have to have a little talk. Get the other two."

Before I could even flinch at the force I was being pulled at, the world was spinning beneath me and I started falling hands first towards the ground.

_I was falling, my feet sliding against marble and launching me down the slope at full speed. The air was loud in my ears as the adrenaline coursed through my body and I let out the most delightful laugh, enjoying this strange rush of energy, where my body was crying out at the never-ending dangers I was taking and my head was too consumed in the moment of it all to care. My dress flit around me in purple streaks as I cascaded down and downwards until two arms caught me and brought me to a stop. _

_When I glanced up, it was Remus, beaming. And I'd never been happier to see him. "The entrance you were hoping for?"_

_I was breathless and my skin was buzzing from the thrill, so I met his eyes with one hundred percent confidence and answered, "Precisely."_

A cloud of dirt surrounded me as I shuffled to my feet, cursing the rocks as they imbedded deep into the newly formed gashes on my hands. I groaned, feeling immeasurably dizzy, thinking that there was too much blood everywhere today. The dirt crunched beneath the soles of several pairs of feet and I watched from the ground as they faded off farther away, leaving me alone.

"Quite an entrance, Gracie," a voice muttered in my ear, and an arm accompanied it, hoisting me up from the ground.

I found Remus's blue eyes and gasped with relief, hugging him around the neck like I'd never been so happy to see anyone in my life. And then things began to register once more and I broke away from him, looking about wildly. "Where are—" And then I found Bellatrix with a very conscious Lily, whispering in her ear with a smile on her face. I made a move to lunge towards them before Bellatrix shoved Lily away and I quickly managed to catch her and keep her upright with my bodyweight.

"She's all yours," Bellatrix drawled wickedly. And then she was gone, joining the other pairs of feet that had drifted away.

I glanced at Lily, who looked at me with wide eyes. "I'm so sorry, Gracie. I'm so sorry for trying to hurt you. She—she cursed me. I didn't do it. I didn't want to. I would _never_..."

"I know," I said softly, holding her to me. "I know. It's okay. What did she do to you? What did she say?"

"She lifted it," she whispered. "The curse."

I nodded, slowing releasing her, beyond mystified. "That's good."

"Lily!" James's shout came from behind me and he sprinted towards us, meeting her with such energy I started feeling dizzy again. She hugged him, near the point of tears, and the entire situation became overwhelming all at once. I wondered where Sirius had gone, but when I looked for him, I couldn't make out any faces hardly at all.

The sky looked so uncharacteristically dark for so early in the day, and everything around me moved in a haze, like I was looking at everything through a fogged window. The sounds of the world burnt my ears and lights were bursting before my eyes, hot against my skin...

"Gracie," Remus's voice called, bringing me back to the surface. "Are you all right?"

"Not entirely," I groaned, though I didn't know exactly what part of me _wasn't_ all right, only that something wasn't. "Do you know where Sirius is? I was with him, but I lost him on the way here..."

"He was helping carrying Emmeline Vance away."

"_Carry her away_? Oh no. She's not dead, is she—?"

"No, no. She's just hurt. He's helping her out of the way so she _doesn't_ die." He hesitated, eyes travelling to my shoulder like Sirius's had. "He was in an awful rush, but he told me to make sure you were okay. He told me he thought you were bitten by a werewolf..."

The world was shaking before me and I wondered if I'd heard Remus correctly. His voice had gotten dimmer and his face was covered in a foggy mist. "_What? _A werewolf? Really? Funny. I mean, I know I look bad, but I can't look _that_ bad—"

Before I'd gotten the chance to even consider the nonsense (I thought) Remus was spilling, a scream rang out through the air and only moments later did the screams reach me, filling up my skull and scratching down every nerve. It was like I was suddenly being consumed by a great, massive fire, and a voice drifted its way into my thoughts, so smoothly playing over the sound of the still very present screams.

"_Welcome, Order of the Phoenix_."

It took everything I had to stand up straight and I suddenly became painfully aware of the source of the voice, a face of alabaster standing amidst a sea of black hoods. In my head, I knew who it was, but my mind didn't dare to confirm it, and I felt nothing, staring blankly and buzzing with numbing energy.

"I have been eagerly anticipating the day that we could all be gathered as one, on such a joyous occasion..." A long, white hand gestured outwards, lighting up the faces of Order members all around me I hadn't even realized were here. And that meant, surely, that Dumbledore must have been here...

The voice continued on, a voice so near a whisper and a hiss it was torturous. "I acknowledge the side that you have taken on this issue. I acknowledge that, and I acknowledge your bravery. But this is not a time for war, not a war where magical blood should be shed. But, sacrifices must be made in order to attain what is necessary. This is a time for revolution. This is a time for taking back our respectful places in society. And I am inviting you to join me. The choice is yours.

"It has been brought to my attention that you are all without your wands. I do not believe in an unfair duel. I would rather we fought each other as individuals, as equals... So that you may prove to me that you, if you so desire, are worthy to join our likeness and fight our battle with us."

For what must have been the longest and loudest heartbeat to ever have been, the world was silent. And then when my wand came clattering to the earth before me, the world came crashing back in an overpowering rush of sound.

_The sound that shook through the train was a mixture of elation and irritation as brilliant jets of light ricocheted off the walls and fell around the invigorated student like ribbons. I watched almost wistfully as the last splash of light left my hands, sprinting down the aisle, dividing into mini bursts, refusing to die out. _

_It had nearly disappeared behind the mass of bodies when Sirius grabbed my hand, twirling me to him with the warmest laugh I'd ever seen on his face. The lights danced around us as we danced beneath them, throwing dashes of bright color in his eyes and sparks along our skin. He spun me under his arm and for a moment I closed my eyes, blocking out all sounds and chaos of the world, and let the exhilaration and sweet, peaceful adrenaline consume me._

_And that was the moment I realized that was, in fact, Sirius. Sweet, peaceful adrenaline. _

I'd always heard that adrenaline was your body's natural defense for when you were in terrible, imminent danger and your mind stopped working and your body threw out a bout of common sense so you wouldn't end up killing yourself. But at that moment, all the adrenaline was doing to me was making me sick.

I looked around quickly for Remus, but the moment our wands had been returned, the whole world seemed to have turned over onto itself. Everything was this blinding, colorful light. I stumbled forward and then promptly smacked the ground with my face. I groaned and rolled over onto my back, wondering if there was ever really an appropriate time to just give up.

"Klutz," a voice muttered over me, and I was back on my feet before I could even process that I'd been helped up. The fact that people were just materializing before me and then not was really not helping my disoriented mind. I squinted my eyes painfully at the face to decipher who it was.

"Gideon?" I rubbed my forehead. "What are you doing here?"

He raised a brow. "Saving the damsel in distress, I suppose. What are _you_ doing?"

"I have _no_ idea."

"Holding up all right? You look like you've got a little... er... blood on you."

"Apparently I was bitten by a werewolf," I told him calmly.

"_What?_"

"Well, _I_ certainly don't come up with this stuff." My gaze drifted away from him for a moment. "Say, maybe now's the time to show me that dragon Patronus of yours, you know. In case we die or something and I never get a chance to see it—"

My existence was a curse. It must have been. That was the only explanation for the face that appeared in the cloud of ash, the only explanation for the jet of light that came bounding towards me. And it wasn't until it was too late that I realized the green light wasn't intended for me at all.

And after that, I didn't remember much of anything at all.

. . . .

The man that looked quite like a boy in that moment opened a blue eye, testing the light. Then he opened both, taking in the glorious sight of the ceiling. "Am I dead?" he asked the ceiling.

"No," I replied shortly, leaning my head against the wall as I watched his expression. "Though I don't really understand how you're not."

He blinked slowly, eyes slowly falling to me. "What happened? I can't quite recall..."

"Me either." I shrugged. "But as it seems, and as Remus told me, though I don't know where he _was_ when it happened... I kind of attacked you to the ground."

"And why am I in the hospital then?"

I winced. "You can't hold this against me, because it didn't happen, only almost—you only _almost _cracked your head open."

"You mean _you_ almost cracked my head open?"

"Something like that," I murmured uncomfortably. "I'm sorry. But you're okay. The nurse said you're free to go home this afternoon. I came to find you when I woke up. Been here for an hour or two."

"Thanks for that. What about your friends? How are they?"

"Good." I nodded, rubbing my palms against my knees. "Saw them all this morning for a bit. Lily was the only one that had to spend the night. Fabian's fine, also, by the way."

He looked relieved, though he didn't say so. "How are you feeling?"

"I'll be all right." I paused, not wanting to think of what the nurses had told me when I woke up. Desperate to get away from the topic, I said, "You know, you drool when you sleep."

He wiped at his face in panic. "Oh, that's—" He stopped, then glared.

I smiled slyly. "Just kidding."

It was then that it occurred to me that _none_ of this, not any of this, would ever get better from here.

* * *

**The two little italicized parts in this chapter are somewhat rewritten excerpts from Chapter Two, A Pretty Sort of Chaos, and Chapter Fourteen, Falling with Grace. Anyways, I know you guys pretty much begged me to give you this update quickly... sorry. You know how life is. Doesn't ever let you do what you want. :( *shakes fist at the sky***

**Hopefully I'll start getting through this a bit quicker, but I'm not going to make any promises in the case that I can't keep them.. Thanks for those of you who've stuck around this whole time. You're all the best, though, really, all of you. x**

**Also, random note- do any of you watch TVD? I am currently so obsessed and that's part of the reason that I haven't been updating so quickly.. eek. (But I'm totally team Delena forever..! xD) **

**(Please ignore this random outburst. An Ed Sheeran song in one of my favorite TVD episodes is playing and I just was very much reminded of my fan-girlish obsession.)**

**Sorry if this is a bit confusing for anyone. It will be totally cleared up (as much as possible) next chapter. **


	34. Say You Will

**Recap:** Lily was Imperiused, but Bellatrix lifted the curse; Gracie was attacked by Greyback; the Order fought Voldemort and his Death Eaters, and Gracie tackled Gideon to the ground to avoid a killing curse aimed their way before she passed out to later wake up in the hospital, where she tells Gideon that everyone survived and that everything is okay.

_The man that looked quite like a boy in that moment opened a blue eye, testing the light. Then he opened both, taking in the glorious sight of the ceiling. "Am I dead?" he asked the ceiling._

_"No," I replied shortly, leaning my head against the wall as I watched his expression. "Though I don't really understand how you're not."_

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Four**

_Say You Will_

The truth of the matter was – despite James's claims that he stepped in and saved the day with a swish of his wand – that the battle was over as soon as Dumbledore made his entrance.

And honestly, I didn't know why he couldn't have shown up just a _little_ earlier...

The story was, as Sirius told a rather delirious me, that the Death Eaters had worked very hard to corner Dumbledore and attack him all at once. Their plan had been successful, for the most part, until Mundungus Fletcher happened to run across them. Not that he _did_ anything, Sirius made sure to point out, but he provided enough distraction that Dumbledore was able to escape their feeble attempts.

And when he did, _it was like the sky lit with fireworks of renewed vigor, of heightened spirit, and everyone began working together harmoniously towards banishing the common evil_—

Well, that was Sirius's story, anyway.

"The good news is that you aren't a werewolf," he was saying from behind me as he brushed my hair back over my shoulders, meeting my gaze in the mirror. "The bad news, though, is that you still did get _bitten_ by a werewolf."

"The healers already gave me the entire lecture," I muttered impatiently, turning away from him. "And I was fully capable of pulling my shirt over my head by myself."

He smiled. "You're _supposed_ to be careful with your shoulder. I was only being polite."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"Hey, quit that."

I frowned and sank into the foot of my bed. "Sorry. The healers said I might be more... passionate than usual?"

"You mean, angry and ferocious and deadly." He leaned in close to my face and growled. There was a gentle stir of heat in my chest and I growled back at him. He smiled and kissed me on the nose. "They _also_ mentioned that you'd very likely begin to prefer your meat bloody and would start to grow really thick hair on your face."

I felt my face drain of color. "_What?_ They did not!"

He pulled away from me, laughing. "Only joking, love. About the hairy face part, anyway. Where did you want to go to lunch? Unfortunately, if you're thinking raw steak, I think we might be fresh out of options..."

"That's disgusting," I said shortly. "I am most definitely not eating bloody meat."

"Hey, don't knock it till you've tried it, yeah?"

I shook my head vigorously, and then moaned, "I really hate this."

"You're the one that goes around mingling with werewolves," he pointed out. "You're lucky it wasn't a full moon. Otherwise, this could have been a _lot_ worse." He pressed his lips together, contemplating. "Hey, think about it this way. I bet Remus would trade places with you any day."

"Was that supposed to make me feel better?" I asked, rubbing my forehead in frustration. My eyes fell to the floor guiltily. "Remus... he knows about what happened? He said something to me about it before, but I haven't..."

"Yeah. Before the healers told us anything, he told me you were welcome to join him on full moons as his fellow werewolf partner-in-crime if you wanted. And then I punched him."

"What? Sirius!"

"Oh, it wasn't _hard_. He laughed." Sirius paused. "But I think he was being serious."

"I feel terrible. I'm complaining about a little scar and a little surge of undesirable emotions, while he's got to deal with an undesirable wolf-persona once a month." I exhaled deeply. "I'm an awful person. Officially."

He groaned and sat down next to me, taking my hand. "Shut up, Gracie. You've got every right to be unhappy about what happened. Just because something worse happened to someone else doesn't take away your suffering. You have every right to wallow for a bit."

"I'm fine, though. I'm just upset. But I really shouldn't—"

"No, listen. It was a traumatic experience, okay? But you'll move through it. Because, yes, it was traumatic, but frankly?—you're lucky. You're goddamned lucky and you're going to be okay." He smiled. "And that's what's important. A bad thing happened to you, but it won't hurt anymore, because scars don't hurt. You just see them, that's all. They're just there."

I looked up at him, letting his words sink in. "Yeah," I murmured with a little nod. I reached for his hand and gripped it tightly. "Hey," I said. "I love you."

"Love you too, Gracie." He wrapped an arm around me, pulling me in closer. "More than you know."

"I should go see Remus sometime, shouldn't I?" I murmured into his chest.

"Yeah." He stroked my hair softly. "You should."

"Okay then." I tore myself away and stood, once again briefly scrutinizing my reflection in the mirror. "I'll go see him now. Do you think he'll be home? I could just—"

"_Hey_ now," Sirius interrupted swiftly, getting to his feet. "We're supposed to be going out. You and me. I feel like we haven't gotten any alone time in three thousand years. I need you to myself." He took my hands and pulled me against him, his face just bent over mine, his eyes penetrating. "Please? Just this one day?"

I frowned but didn't move. Growing impatient, he kissed me quickly and said, "Please?"

I shook my head vigorously, then decided against it, then broke away from him again. Conflicted, I said, "Fine, fine. But tomorrow, I am most definitely—"

The rest of my words were muffled by his mouth on mine again, burning with sleeping fervor, soft and warm and crazy all at once.

I tried moving away so that I could breathe a little, but he pulled me closer to him. "_Sirius_, come on..."

"What?" He kissed my lips, then my cheek, and then trailed kisses down my neck. "Do you want me to stop?"

For a moment I was tempted to shove him off of me and demand that we leave through the door right that instant, but after another moment I changed my mind entirely. Involuntarily, I made a small noise in the back of my throat as I pulled his face back to mine, meeting our mouths in a kiss that all at once made me feel out of control and overwhelmed.

But it was a _good_ kind of overwhelmed, one that was blinding but exhilarating, and just a little bit consuming. I felt a fire in my chest that threatened to trail through my limbs through wildfire, and somehow I found that I didn't mind at all.

After that things escalated to an entirely different level. The combination of his hands just hardly grazing my skin and the tickle of his breath on my lips had me so disoriented that we fell back against the wall, laughing and dizzy, and probably wondering why we didn't do this more often and if, in fact, my shoulder was really as bad as I'd thought it to be.

But then I cupped his face in my hands as I kissed him and suddenly all of my thoughts were gone, melding instead into a giant flame in my mind and making the edges of my body melt. His hands firmly held my hips and he left sweet kisses along the underside of my jaw, so slowly and tantalizingly moving down the nape of my neck that I saw colors beneath the black of my eyelids.

"Padfoot? You there?"

And then the moment was gone as soon as it had come. My eyes snapped open, as did his a short moment later. Still locked in the same place, Sirius gave me a guilty thing of a smile, where one corner of his mouth pulled to the side.

"Padfoot? Sirius? _Hellooo?_"

I sighed and pushed him off of me like I'd been tempted to do earlier. "Woops," Sirius muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, seeming not to notice my annoyance at all. "That'll be James on the Floo. He told me he'd call, but I didn't know for sure when..." He must have noticed that I'd taken considerable steps away from him then and trailed off into a quick silence. He bounced back gracefully, and with one swift movement, twirled me back to him. "Hey, where do you think you're going?"

"Really?" I managed to say before he'd taken me back in his arms and touched my nose with his. And then before I could even return that mask of annoyance to my face, his eyes met mine and that little tickle of fire was back, sparking under my fingertips and blurring out the rest of the world.

He said nothing in response to my empty-ended question, only gave me a look that I couldn't help but smile at. The light of the morning shone in through the window and fell like stars in his eyes. And that moment, I fathomed him something more than just beautiful. In that moment, he was everything and anything.

And so when James's voice continued to ruin one of the closest moments I'd had with Sirius in months, I just squeezed his fingers in my own. "Go talk to your boyfriend. I'll go get my things from the kitchen so that we can leave, like we were _supposed_ to." I smiled slyly and released his hand.

"Not funny," he said pointedly, and then more gently, "Sorry. It'll only be a minute, I promise."

I shook my head dismissively. "It's fine. Boy talk. I get it."

"Love you!" he sang quickly as he pecked my forehead and then darted off to the fireplace only a few strides away.

I watched him for a moment before I turned out of the room, pressing my lips into a firm, contemplative line. I heard James's voice from the fireplace again as I left: "What, did I interrupt something?"

He always did. It shouldn't even have been a question.

I found my bag, which lay strewn across Sirius's counter top rather lazily. Biting back a sigh, I went and put it back together, straightened the pile of hospital papers, threw the loose change that had been dangling around the bottom of my bag for weeks into my wallet, picked up a picture of Lily and I that had somehow ended up on the floor. My gaze lingered on it briefly—our fifth year, the two of us clad in new robes we'd bought together in Diagon Alley the day before, nothing entirely special about the photograph at all—before I slipped it back into my wallet and out of sight.

In the silence of the kitchen, things slowly began to return to me, like the fact that I'd now missed a week of work and would likely not be forgiven for such an unexcused absence. I'd owled in, but the way the Prophet was acting lately, what with the stress of the war and their rather obtuse efforts to hide what was the evident truth, I doubted they'd even minded it any attention. After all, I'd witnessed the onslaught of hate mail the main offices had received only last week...

And then there was Loraine, who I of course still remembered as I did still live with her, but seeing as she was a muggle and didn't even know there was a war going on in the first place, explaining my situation to her had been a little difficult. First of all, since I'd been in the hospital for two nights, I'd had to find a working muggle telephone so I could ring her. The difficult part, though, had been when I had to explain _why_ I'd been in the hospital for two weeks, and then convince her that she really shouldn't visit and that I'd be home soon.

"You were hiking?" Loraine had said into the phone, a near screech because, unfortunately, the phone that I'd managed to attain sucked. "You were hiking and an animal _attacked_ you?"

"Yeah. And they thought it had rabies, so I had to get checked out. Turns out it didn't. Not the funnest time of my life, I'll tell you that."

"Well, Gracie, you should have called me earlier. I could have brought you some flowers or a nice balloon, or whatever you give people who almost nearly had rabies."

I'd told her I'd be back that afternoon, and though she was a little tiresome at nearly all points of the day, I was kind of glad to be going back home to my flat. Not that Sirius's wasn't nice, but I hadn't really been home in a while, and Loraine was the closest I had to that. Besides, it'd be refreshing to hear her complain about her air-headed boyfriend again.

I thought back to the fact that I hadn't been _home_ in forever. I missed the home my family had had in England, before they moved to the States. Since I'd visited over the summer I quite literally hadn't heard from them since, other than a quick little card and a small amount of money I'd received from them on my birthday. Of course, they'd sent it in American dollars, but all the same...

_We don't want to be involved in the war, Grace_, my father had written. _And if you choose to be, we'll honor your decision. But we ask that you honor ours as well to leave us out of it._

It stung a little, reading that, on my birthday of all days. It basically said, "Don't try to talk to us because you might kill us." So I didn't, other than the thank you letter I sent in response in which I included: _I will honor your decision to stay out of the war. I love you both._

And I did.

After dilly-dallying around Sirius's kitchen and then deciding he really didn't have any good food to steal in the first place, I began to wonder just what he and James were talking about, anyway. It occurred to me that I should have wondered that originally, but at that point in time I was still slightly disoriented from Sirius and I's tense moment that I didn't think of it. They were always acting _so_ suspicious lately...

And before I could think any more of it, Sirius burst through the kitchen doors, looking far too gleeful. "Hey! Told you it'd take a minute, didn't I?"

"I wasn't counting, but I think that was more than a minute," I replied obstinately.

He shrugged it off. "Hey, weren't you supposed to take Lily out for lunch the other day? You know, before she got Imperiused and then you were attacked by that werewolf?"

I stared at him in bewilderment. "Yeah?"

"Well, you should give her a call. The Floo works marvelously, I've just tried it out now, I'd know." I was still giving him an incredulous look so he explained further, "I mean, you both nearly died, you know? And after I got done talking to James, I just thought that... you should really spend time with her before one of you dies!" He blurted the last part proudly, before sobering back down and realizing with a curious expression that perhaps that had not been the wisest choice of words. "Er. Sorry. But, really, you should go take a walk with her. In the park, you know, the one a few blocks away from Diagon Alley? It's a muggle park and everything, haven't got the greatest quantity of magical parks around London, you know, but it's really quite quaint and there are little food shops all around and I'm sure you'd love it if you just—"

"Sirius, shut up. What's going on?"

He opened his mouth, then closed it quickly. "But you just told me to shut up."

I groaned. "Shut up about the _park_ and tell me what's going on."

He bit down on his lips thoughtfully for a moment before answering, "Well, I just thought it was little selfish of me to steal you away from your best friend, who you obviously don't spend enough time with."

"Are you serious?"

A smirk slowly spread across his face as my sentence painfully dawned on me. "Never more in my life."

I rolled my eyes. "You know I s- I _really_ don't do that on purpose."

"You were going to say, 'You _seriously_ don't do that on purpose,' and then you stopped yourself. I caught that." He winked. "Just admit it, you're obsessed with me."

"Shut up and explain how to do this damn Floo thing since you're obviously not taking me out to eat and I am starving."

Happily, with the strangest, most peculiar spring in his step, he gestured widely with his arm in the direction of the sitting room. "Right this way, milady."

. . . .

The world seemed strangely quiet that afternoon in the park with Lily. We'd found it, luckily, with the assistance of a rather kind old man, but he'd neglected to tell us that the place was absolutely deserted. I tried to see it all as something beautiful, but our footsteps echoed as we walked beneath the canopy of trees and I couldn't help but feel uneasy.

Lily, on the other hand, seemed completely at home. "I wonder where those shops are that the boys mentioned. Seems like hot chocolate weather, doesn't it?"

I muttered, "_I'm_ wondering why they suggested _this _place at all."

"It's kind of nice," said Lily. "Though I think we've passed that tree already."

"How would you know? They all look the same."

"Oh, look! I haven't seen that before." She pointed towards a small wooden sign that looked like it was a town away. "Can you read it?" she asked.

I shook my head. The writing was in bold, white letters, but far off it seemed to just be one big blob of paint. "Let's get a closer look," I suggested.

We treaded closer and the blob of paint slowly came into focus: _Lily_. Beneath it, lying precariously on the grass was a single red tulip. While Lily knelt down to pick it up, it occurred to me to wonder why it wasn't a lily under the sign. But then I watched as Lily lifted the flower to her face, closed her eyes and inhaled its scent, and I realized, much more slowly than I should have, that the flower was meant for her.

And perhaps giving Lily a lily would just have been far too cliché.

She stood slowly, twirled the pretty flower in her hand. "What do you think this is for?"

I glanced beyond her, where the trail continued, and nodded in the direction of another sign. "I guess we'll find out."

This sign, we found, was not a name or a flower, but an arrow that pointed further down the trail and seemingly led to nothing. Maybe it was a trap. The Death Eaters probably weren't our biggest fans these days.

But Lily giggled and excitedly tugged on my hand, and the thought fell from my mind.

We followed about five arrows, climbed over logs and ducked under weird shrubs, and we had yet to find what we were looking for. "What if this doesn't lead anywhere?" I asked. "We're not even following an actual path anymore."

"Stop it with your pessimism. This is an adventure."

"Don't we have enough of those?"

She sighed and shot me a look, though still in considerably good spirits. "An adventure that doesn't lead to our potential deaths."

Well, she had a point. We didn't have enough of those. Right as she turned back around to continue on our little mini-journey, we came upon a new sign, one that read: _For you_.

I stared at it. "What's _for you_?"

But when I looked at her, she wasn't reading the sign. She was staring at a giant box wrapped in a bright red bow only a little farther away from us. "Is that a...?" She trailed off, eyes wide and curious, before she started towards it without regarding me at all.

"Okay then," I said, mystified. "Lily, wait up—"

But before I could get her to stop, something tugged on my wrist and I found myself stumbling behind a bush. A hand clamped down on my mouth before I could will a sound past my lips. Heart pounding furiously in my chest, I found myself face to face with my captor.

_Sirius_.

He lowered his hand from my face and put a finger to his lips. "_Shhh_." My gaze found Remus and Peter both similarly crouched behind the bush, shooting me sly grins. Sirius pointed back to Lily through a gap in the bush, who was still slowly approaching the large gift looking thing, now beginning to grow wary.

She glanced around, looking for me. "Gracie?"

"What's going on? What are you all doing here?" I hissed at Sirius.

He smiled. "You'll see. Just wait."

After a long moment, Lily turned back to the box and took a few steps around it, seeming to wonder if she should open it, and _how_ she would. It's what I was wondering, at least. The box was taller than she was.

She fumbled with the ribbon, and then tried to peel at the wrapping paper. Nothing was getting the thing open, though. With little success, she tried lifting it up. She didn't get it very far off the ground. It seemed there wasn't a bottom to the package. And there was a _foot_.

She shrieked in fright and dropped it at once. Unfortunately, though, she dropped the box on the foot, and there was a groan of pain. It seemed as if the foot was connected to a person. What was going...?

"Oh, er... sorry!" Lily shouted, a blush rising to her cheeks. She swiveled her head about for sign of anyone, but the place was still perfectly deserted. Gripping her wand in her hand, she uttered, "_Wingardium Leviosa_."

What was underneath the package gave Lily another squeal, and even when Sirius threw his hand over my mouth again, it could hardly suppress my own.

It was James. On one knee.

I was flailing my hands so wildly that I hardly saw Lily's reaction, and it wasn't till Sirius restrained my excited thrashing about that I properly saw Lily with her hands over my mouth, shaking and laughing before James, who was grinning, proud but almost shy, a look I couldn't remember ever seeing on him.

"_James!_ You're here, you..."

There was a look in his eyes suddenly that stayed with me for the rest of my life. The look then wasn't really nervous, but not entirely confident either; it was one more like awe, like on one knee he could see her like he'd never before, like everything he'd ever known her to be summed up to this one moment, like he couldn't imagine a world without her. He was happy, and his eyes said "I love you" better than words ever could.

"Lily," James said. "Marry me?"

She was nodding and I could hear her saying, "Yes, yes, a thousand times yes," before she dropped to the ground and flung her arms around him.

Three loud cheers broke out beside me as Remus, Peter and Sirius rose out from behind the bush. I followed their lead and clapped and shouted for them, happy tears clouding my vision. Lily glanced back at us, blushing but also smiling, with a look towards me that said, _I should have known_. And then she turned back to James and kissed him full on the mouth, and the sound of cheering blocked out every other sound of the world.

* * *

**Aaawww. I actually subconsciously put a parallel in James's proposal to Lily with Harry's proposal to Ginny, which I wrote about in a one shot a while back. James and Lily are my favorite fictional-but-very-real-to-me couple ever, end of story. **

**Thanks for reading, lovelies! I'll give you a cookie if you review. Chocolate chip? :D x**


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